I really don't know the answer for this.
In Gauri's case it is completely her choice made out of misguided sense of injustice done to her.
At every step she made a wrong choice.She had two paths before her at every phase of her life and she chose the path that led to disaster.So I can never sympathise with her.
She first came in contact with Singhs and Jagya as a child and she never wanted to get married but wanted to study. Her marriage was nullified by the panchayat it had no legal standing but it was marriage according to the society in which she lived but even her society has deemed it illegitimate.
She should have been glad that the dark shadow of child marriage has passed over but she didn't she took it as an insult which is totally illogical given the fact that she never ever wanted that marriage.
Then she landed at the door step of Singhs because her parents dumped her there.Here instead of getting upset with her parents who first tried to sell her off to Dsa and then tried to get rid of her she was fuming at Singhs for finding her parents and sending her back with them
Then the next time she met Jagya in college.the fact that Jagya is not what he is and is pretending to besomeone else is quite obvious when one noticed him more closely.He used to slip up many a time and try and cover up with some lame excuse.But in her infatuation with him she didn't pay attention to his behaviour which was suspicious.
After the course ended they decided to share the accomodation then only Bhairon realised wht he was upto and cut off his finances only at that time she decided to probe into his history.Mainly because his finances were cut.He informed her that his father was angry with him.Even then she could have moved out because obviously something fishy was going on.But she didn't.
Discovering that her mother had stil preserved her wedding dress itself should have reminded her about how she escaped being a victim of gory tradtion and should have been grateful for the cancelled marriage but she chose to wallow in self pity and filled with vindictive thoughts towards Singhs instead.
Then she came to Jaitser and realised who he was then she was devastated.She had a chance to move away from him.Somebody who tld half truths and a pack of lies over 5 years should never have been trusted but she decided to accept him.He was someone who broke her trust. She did not even give him a chance to earn back the trust she placed him.One night of having shower in rain is enough to convince her of his love for her.So what does that make her ? Somebody who wants to live in an illusion?Someone who is shallow? Someone whose perception of love is so superficial?
She decided to marry him.Why did she marry him? Is he a God's gift to women? What is it so special about him that she felt that she couldn't do without him?Nothing. But she seems to have liked what little she got from him.Looks like she didn't realise that she is entitled to more than what she got from him.
The oher reason for marrying him - just to get back at Singhs and Anandi - Marrying a married man for revenge - Had she had any respect for the institution called marriage she would not have used marriage as a tool for revenge.The other reason for staying back is vengence.Her desire for revenge is much more than her respect for marriage
Then she stepped into Singhs' residence with Jagya - She realised that Anandi was not just a childhood wife but he had actually consummated his marriage and did realise that she has taken an other woman's husband.Even if JA marriage was not legal according to her initial belief it still amounts to snatching another woman's husband she didn't have any qualms. (I am not talking about J here because this post is about Gauri)
She found out that her marriage has no legal standing.She could have walked out on that marriage.Just because she was married in the eyes of the society that doesn't make it alright.She is never his dharmpatni because that status is for Anandi even going by the society rules.That wedding didn't give her rights as a wife legally as well as in the eyes of society simply because she would always be referered as mistress or kept woman because society also accords respect for the first wife only.Had she had any iota self respect she would have walked out of it.It would have been painful but still she would have had her honour intact.This is also because she was settling for less than what she should have gotten from life and the man who called her his wife.
She wanted rights but never thought about the responsibilities that come with being a bahu.She demanded for them unmindful of the fact that they have already have a bahu who was actually their son's legal wife.Instead of keeping herself away from them she would land at them demanding to be accepted.
Going by Gauri's behaviour the reasons for getting into an illicit relation ship
1. Short sighted thinking.Failing to look at the bigger picture
2. Person with no self worth
3. Person who wants to grab what she wants irrespective of the fact whether she is entitiled to it or not
4.Disrespect or disregard for the sanctity of marriage.
I know I am sounding harsh and judgemental but a woman who enters into an illicit relationship is someone whose thinking process itself is deranged.
As for my views on it - I think it has got to do with self worth and also about upbringing that we receive and the values that our parents impart within us.
My mother always used to say that an ultimate insult for a woman is when her husband gets into an extramarital relationship or sleeps with some other woman going by this if a man who has a wife and still looks out for a relationship outside his marriage that man should not be accepted by any woman.
I have not come across women who are in an illicit realtionship so cannot talk about them.
But one thing I know for sure is that being attracted to married man and falling for a married man is not all that uncommon but what prevents women from entering into a relationship is that their own sense of self worth - like questioning themselves is this man worth the trouble?Is one question that helps women getting into these kind of realtionships.
Financial markets and global economy
Indian Mythology
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
