Posted:
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and
liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could
knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk, with
assorted things on your head -- lampshades, fruit baskets, underwear...
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over
and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay things like thish.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY
THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened
to your pants (panties) anyway.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on
the forehead.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more
handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really big biker guy named
"Big Al."
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are
not.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with
other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could
knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk, with
assorted things on your head -- lampshades, fruit baskets, underwear...
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over
and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay things like thish.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY
THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened
to your pants (panties) anyway.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on
the forehead.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more
handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really big biker guy named
"Big Al."
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are
not.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with
other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.
Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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