are you missing holi? - Page 4

Originally posted by: indi52

put on your dancing heartbeats: episode 208

she danced. carefree and wild. he watched. his heart picked her rhythm, her spirit, her every move was echoed somewhere within him. the minutes ticked by, a long interlude where two people connected breaking all barriers. the drums played, the colour flew, she moved, he stood eyes fixed on her, but his heart was beginning to traipse, you could feel it.

magan... immersed. melded. rapt. they danced. she with her being, he in his heart.

the director used the language of pictures and sound and created an unforgettable moment. when all fences and defences set up by the rational thinking dimaag world, helplessly tied to its three dimensions fell.

when the heart only spoke and what it said was the truth. when he had to listen to it because he was no fool. what had been heard clearly one evening when he couldn't forget a kiss, was heard again... dhadkane.

heart beat.

dil ki dhadkan which had been muffled by the rage of the mind broke free.

the gullak had shattered, the bhang had been drunk, the girl who planned holi in her sleep though she slept on the poolside stone floor, the girl whose head he had to reach out to protect though he believed she was not true not pure, the girl who called him laad governor and gave him i o u notes for rs 300, the girl who chose black for him, she danced.

and his heart leapt at the sight of her.

that was all there was to it.

the dance was what it was all about for me. in most religious traditions, especially the ones more mystical, free spirited dancing is very much a part of worship. with body mind soul we relinquish the mortal, the material and reach out for what cannot die, what is not limited by dimension. and in our surrender and desire to reach, we make it to that point. once you touch that point you are changed in ways you can't always know but you do feel it. it never really goes away. mere nimboo doesn't do the trick. I loved your putting in words the wild free willed worship that dance can have. I learnt a little dance in school. Rarely dance now, but still it transports me to a different place. And when Khushi danced and Arnav looked on it was pure bliss to watch..

almost at another plane this meeting of asr and khushi. cute, lovely, sexy, but lots of ecstasy there, more potent than the drug.

she switches glasses and makes him drink.

"ok!" says he abruptly and goes for the glass thinking it is the cannabis free thandai.

gotcha! says her smile. she's done her ramanchi... and fixed his little cheating.

he drinks in one go...

"aap ko kya lagta hai, aap bahut hoshiar hain, agar aap hoshiar hai toh hum usse bhi zyada hoshiar hai..." what do you think, you're very clever, then i am more clever than that. she is dopey, a bit drunk, and madly cute, he is melting.that touch of her colour still all over him. the touch of his perhaps making her feel things she'd felt a while back when all was well and he brought bangles for her. Again here Sanaya's expressions were so genuine. I loved how she switched between intelligence tricking him to over acting drunk so that he did not suspect her. And he, even before he had a drop of bhang he was already completely drunk in her essence. Never occurred to him he could walk away. No. Not today. He played along. I absolutely love this episode for all the bright happy feeling it sends out. And Anjali watching from far. Recording it. Such nice family moments in this episode even though it was all about these two.

he realises he's been had.

"kya hua, bolti band ho gayi?" what happened, cat got your tongue? and mad hatter says no prob, i'll say the words from you... "what the what the what the what the"... and she charges around among the merrymakers, a free spirit a fabulous sanka devi...

hic goes the laad governor. even his hiccups are cute.. ye laad governor bhi na..

she dances in gay abandon... unaware of the whole world the girl who loves to dance.

he comes looking for her and watches her from behind his sister and nani... dil ki baat in his eyes already. how how how did Barun manage that look?

she flails her arms and sways to the beat.

he steps forward and hugs his sister and grandma... eyes only on the ramanchi girl.

he is smiling at her, he needs to say something... "kitni sundar lag rahi hai na khushi?" his voice is just slightly slurred, his eyes delighted and feeling the high. khushi is looking so lovely, isn't she?

my heart flips... a boy in love adoring the girl he loves with his eyes, holding his dear ones. a boy who hasn't felt this innocent joy in years. only 27... what a life it's been. just when he thought he'd found someone, a treacherous night. barun is bringing a side of asr to light, a side never seen before and how masterfully he calibrates it.

"she's beeautiful"... oh asr, sundar isn't your word, is it... that was for di and nani... beeeautiful is she to you.

"thodi pagal hai but cute hai." she's a little mad, but she is cute. i always knew that's what you couldn't resist about her. that sanka. her trademark. from the day she told you about the mango juice, your heart valves were losing their tight set feel... coming a bit undone. you knew she was gorgeous, she was fiery, you couldn't bear to watch her get hurt, but that cuteness of hers laced with a particular looniness, that's what sealed the deal... there is no escape. stop trying. I loved also that he included his di and nani in his happiness. Even later he doesn't dance with khushi, but brings his family in to share his happiness with. Well basically there was everything and more to love about in this scene. And that accent. The voice. even the music. her mast magan dance. his smile.. those hazy drunk delighted eyes.. ❤️

if i am talking like a maniac to a character that does not not not exist, it's thanks to the tremendous work of barun sobti. you wanted to talk to asr so often, you wanted to laugh and die with him. this acting if someone is willing to give me back, promise ya free flow of bhang for the rest of your life. Oh yes am teary eyed just reading your description of the scene. Really to experience such intense emotions just by watching a scene from a TV show. And watching it for god knows how times and yet getting affected this deeply.

and she laughs, eyes closed, lost in dance.

"uske baal, uski aankhe..." so lost he is getting, drawn into her...

"usski smile..." did anyone hear that voice, how it cut off on the smile at the end as though the word is already said in his head...

and he starts to make his way to her... pulled by her, a magnetic force around them, separating them from the crowd..

anjali almost sobs with joy... nani is happy, their chhotey has found his love. Anjali was so happy today. Genuine 'khushi' at seeing chotey this khushi..finally having found his mate.. I was very happy with the normal sounding "bhabhi" in this episode. Wonder why they dropped it later.

he picks up another glass and takes a swig... he wants to reach her he wants to get rid of all his inhibitions...she is his bhang maybe today... drink to me with thine eyes... brilliant thought in bold

makes his way to her on slightly unsteady feet...rabba vey is in and again before the whole wide world two lovers meet alone.

she stops, and seems to be confused, asking something...

he reaches her... eyes look at her with only a simple feeling... i am here he seems to say. they stand still as the world dances around them...

the silhouette shot reminds me of the sun on the day he tied a bandage on her engagement finger. I was thinking they are the perfect height for each other.. no rason why the crazy thought suddenly entered my head.

he reaches out, holds her hand and pulls her close. one swift movement... he looks at her, his heart in his eyes, no anger no pretense nothing. just him. i am here.

and he remembers her resting back on him the day they danced teri meri... a letting go, how he'd held her, how much he'd wanted her.

she remembers he'd wanted to kiss her... khushi has a strong sensual desire for her man. one that surprises her maybe at times. she can't forget that poolside. no matter how much he insulted and hurt her after that, her mind, her gut doesn't let it go. she wants that kiss. in her mind her palms are clutching her saree, her lips anticipate a touch. how will it be? how will it be? she seems to ask. a young girl who has never been kissed on her lips before. her man, the only man whose lips she wants on hers. but we can never say such things. just feel them. yes we can't say such things. but it is so refreshingly nice to know she wants him. That should be a part of love. physical attraction. would make both the man and woman feel nice to be desired. and how exciting.. first kiss.. sigh.. how does it feel. later he lay a kiss on her enticing blushing cheek, but her lips.. how cheated they must feel..all dressed up in glossy lovely light pink and that gorgeous quivering dance that they did in anticipation and still missed out on how it would be.. haha I promise I have never talked this way. am ready to duck under a blanket and fidget with my hands and twirl my pallu. but the whole point of holi is to let your inhibitions go right?

the colour, the music, the drums, the bhang... they all say, feel. don't stop.

the gentlest sweetest smile touched his lips, he wanted to cherish this woman, i felt, like nothing he'd ever cherished before. everything to him, this crazy lunatic. his response to her while he aw her dance is something that will always always touch my heart the most. I wish for every boy to be able to love this way and every girl to get a boy who loves her this way. you have to be able to feel this emotion once in your life to have truly lived. hey devi maiyaa am talking about fictional characters from a show..

he remembered he had slipped on her payal. the touch of her soft skin, her little tautening of skin perhaps in his thoughts.

camera picked up anjali saying, today chhotey had done everything for khushi, yet he says he married her for di. exactly, i want to say. does he even know why he had to marry her? what a ridiculous response to what he saw on the terrace. would arnav singh raizada marry such a girl, or even pretend to? who was he protecting really? just his di and her baby? just his injured heart? or maybe just maybe, this girl... from that dangerous man.

suddenly they were aware of their surroundings...

he stepped back and swung her as he let her go, she whirled around and stared at him... a huge question in her eyes. hmm I don't know if he was aware yet.. I think he just wanted to let her know he is there and then have her dance and revel in her happiness again. could be wrong..just what I felt..

she had perhaps felt it... the quickening of her dhadkan as he came close. maybe she needed to know why. needed to know, does it happen to him too. she was filled with a funny wonder too... was this the man who'd said i hate you. and was he the same one she'd replied she hated too?

what a heady colour red is... spreads sublime confusion.

he smiled.

she smiled back at him... friends... relief... and she started dancing again.

he took his di and nani into the crowd and joined in the dancing...

a thought:

when episode started, khushi was smiling happy as she got into holi mood... now if she really hated asr, would she be able to do this? her life has been turned upside down, no explanations given. yet, she is happy and floaty here, all set to play the game of colours.

poignant, isn't it? our feelings, how they assert themselves. when she realised who shyam was, she couldn't wait a second to take off his ring and fling it on his face, but here this man has dragged her off to a crazy place, makes her sleep on the floor by the pool, (really asr, you got to pay for this), refuses to tell her why he's done so... her only clue that reference to a chot... but something in her feels things for him, her happiness keeps erupting... when he is away during kidnap, not a day does khushi feel like herself... worried sick for him, missing him, by now she knows he believes what he believes... but she can't deny what she feels. exactly Indi di. Just the fact that it was him could keep her this way. All that swami tactics and this cheerful burst of positivity. Now if she got forcefully married to anyone else would she have been able to do that? No way. And like you said up above. If anyone else, maybe even Lavanya, was having an affair with Shyam would he go and marry her?

this understanding of our inner feelings i did love about ipk. a crazy maturity in it, an elegance. none of the usual hindi serial predictable stuff and no sanctimonious shoulds and shouldn'ts in this feeling.

lots of beautiful moments in the episode.

"khushi, kissi ko jaanne ki zaroorat nahin hai ki jab hum akele hotey hain toh kya karte hain..." no one needs to know what we do when we are alone. though we all know what happens, how our imaginations soar at the suggestion in a husky voice. almost as though he wished it were the way it sounded. oh I thought you would miss mentioning this.. silly me.. really what unbidden thoughts entered.. ears, cheeks everything went aflame as the unbidden entered my mind..still does.. least expected I think what he said, the way he said.. that is what does the trick each time..

a knowing smile from di and nani, a blank hazy look from khushi...

"achha?" really? says she innocent and goofy and trusting. "par... bhang?" but... bhang?

girl after my heart, loves her liquor, sorry cannabis.

before she can say anything else he places his finger on her lips... again an intimacy..

"shh... main bhang nahin peeta," shh... i don't drink bhang. so granular and soft the voice. and is he getting a little lost in his drunken partner's eyes? this whole thing should be written in urdu with plenty of "hosh, aagosh, etc.," an akbar feeling in me... mami ji's influence no doubt. In ramayan many times tulsidas says that even if Saraswati came and resided in my voice I would still not be able to describe the extent of the splendour of Ram.. haha I sometimes think that about IPK. But trust me if anyone comes close to perfection..it is you.. ❤️

takhliya, kahamosh, kaneez... and so on. kaneez by the way means slave girl i think. nothing is politically correct about the whole moghul thing. yet, there's endless beauty and understanding of human nature there.

mami ji was in akbar a la mughl-e-azam form. i loved her lunacy and extreme angst at seeing her one and only son canoodling with his one and only love. sparkling acting from utkarsha naik always. see again this was when the 'mamiji' lunacy was just right. Now in our curretn rewatch episodes sadly I get the feeling it has to be overdone at times. to fill the gaping wide hole left behind. But then it becomes forced. Does not have me shaking with laughter.. mamiji hum phatti saree hai.. aap humein kameez kyu bula ri hai..

"aur ab... tum chup rahogi," and now, you'll keep quiet, says asr to kkg.

bhang girl does eye talk... boy smiles...

i am thinking kaneez sounds like kameez... shirt. oooh was the writer cracking a smart one about the white shirt knowing it will have a certain influence on the viewers. looks like the intoxicant was having an effect on me too.

nani ji's comment about love melting big mountains, this is but her little one was touching. pretty much the summary of the episode.

anjali hugged her laughing dancing happy bro. he was so thrilled, had anyone seen him like that in the longest time? the first time i saw this i remember fearing. who knows what hell might come into his life next. but no... instead came the gazebo and the poolside and nothing felt more perfect. 12 to 16 march, the best days of ipk after marriage, were going by and taking me to another plane. what a lovely extremely touching moment between the brother and sister. he wants her to be part of his happiness. In a way she is the very reason he could not have the happiness. And she.. just seeing him this way perhaps.. diminishes all the heartache of her part. if her chotey can be this carefree again then all can be right in her world..

he saw her dancing away and then he noticed a drunk man shoving her ever so slightly by mistake. the eyes grew steely and angry. his girl... how dare anyone touch her...

the man who had told her this marriage wouldn't mean a thing... it was on "sirf chhe mahine ke liye," went up to the man and asked brusquely, "tuney meri biwi ko haath kaise lagaya", how could you touch my wife.

his wife. meri patni. such possessiveness, ownership in his voice. why did i have no problem believing he meant as much, he who had been so terrible just a few nights before. who made her sleep on the floor. yet i knew no one loved her more than he did. no one. territorial man. has me swooning..

oh the colours of asr, in barun sobti's character sketch. ❤️

Originally posted by: indi52

why do i think of you even though...?

why do i remember you and me?
funny moments here and there
fairy lights glimmer and a touch does leave a shimmering trail.

why do i think of you even though...

why were you kneeling there and i sitting still
why were you coming near and i waited till
i was beating, pulsating, pulsar,
why are
some things so hard to understand
why are
some things not easy to forget

why do i think of you even though...?

and why does my breath race
a pace
sets my heart beat quickening
when you come near.

come near,
come near still...
heart beats, oh! catch them
hold them back, let me breathe
hold me now

even though.


in my heart: episode 209

curious are the ways of the heart. refuses to listen to the head when it feels it mustn't. seems to have a compass of its own and knows exactly where the lode star rises.

this episode reminded me once again, where is the the real bank and source of knowledge. real knowledge.

two people whose lives have been blighted terribly by what seems like a terrible reality. two people, each hurt immeasurably by the other. that shattering "chot" that she knows nothing of, but he feels with every fibre of him, his eyes growing unfocussed in intolerable pain at every reminder.

and she so brutally treated by the man who moments ago had said a "bas karni hai" and every bit of her had sung, her bangles, her bindi, her heart, nothing had not been touched by that little turn of head and something in the eyes of the man who wanted to talk to her about... what, what doe he want to say to me. with a little smile trembling with anticipation she'd left to hear what he had to say. and then an unexpected visitor... after that only cold contemptuous voice, a harsh proposition, a merciless dragging by the hand and here she was, with a colour thrust on her parting, and all around her only confusion and pain. no answers.

but sometimes, just sometimes, there's that window of clarity in the midst of mayhem. when what is true touches the only part of us that senses truth... the heart. and that is all that matters.

today he put the red, not on her parting but her cheek, but it was as though he accepted her, made her his own, and she returned with the same emotion... you are mine, mine, said his eyes, his touch, the colour floating all around.

she looked at him with eyes that wondered then capitulated and said, i am but yours of course, hum toh aap hi ki hai. in fact, they seemed to implore, make me yours.

if there was any chance that they might walk away from the heart's message, the bhang dropped in to make sure no such thing could happen. not today. not on a full moon tithi (date) when radha had played with krishna and he had put colour on her face to bridge a distance, to tell her she was part of his heart.

isn't bhang a great favourite of that cool deity, the ultimate husband it is said, though he walked around wearing animal skin, ash on his body, not gainfully employed in a solid money making job, hangin' out with his pals and a snake wound round his neck, smoking pot, ganja chandu charas, and drinking bhang? our revered lord shiva. it takes a deeper knowledge to know why this being was so loved by his wife, why he had the power to move the world. all in the heart i think... he was just totally pure of that. the one who consumed all the poison so that the world may survive. and after he had taken in the poison, amrit rose from the churned oceans. ooh in some thread discussion I was telling Indu that I get reminded of Shiva somehow seeing Arnav.. and look you had already felt it way before.. nice, right, when you can share what you feel with another..

a hundred metaphors and myths and stories of childhood evoked in the scenes of this episode. not done by design perhaps... but so powerful was the coming together of asr and khushi, it took you to mythological realms and tales of divine love. and of characters that stepped up and took on more so that their world may survive. on a night of catastrophe when poison rose, a young man decided he could bring amrit to his family, his di, by swallowing the poison. what he never realised was that it was amrit that he was holding in his throat thinking it's vish... the bhang i felt, let the true nectar seep into his heart. and she thought the same, i'll take every bitterness, anything... to bring eternal joy to my sister... almost like an o'henry tale isn't it? a life lesson practically there.

"the heart has its own reasons which reason knows nothing of." ~~~ blaise pascal ~~~

a bowl of water, rose petals float... she is here.

she splashes water on her face, her eyes... the bhang is upon her maybe, the truth will be seen when her eyes are clear of the colour, the lie, the deceit.

rose petals. they had to be there i guess. always somehow a reminder of his mother, a sign of blessing... clever use of it in many places. wow did not think of that.

slightly high, thoughtful, a little troubled, pensive... she roams in a gazebo of fluttering drapes and mirrors. why is she troubled, what bothers her? wasn't the decoration beautiful? Maybe they had more budget during holi, maybe it was devi maiyya saying I have to make this beautiful for Khushi and Arnav today.

she's thinking of him. not yelling and screaming and dragging and denegrating, but untangling fairy lights wrapped all around her. his gaze intent, his touch gentle, his skin on her skin. curious how the heart works. and this understanding of it is laudable.

her eyes look confused as though she doesn't want these thoughts, and yet... there he is... leading her out of the rings of diyas. putting on her payal. all those moments when she'd felt his tenderness, her excitement, her desire...

and as always, she finally comes to the kiss, the kiss she didn't want to stop. she wanted it. and the kiss on the cheek. and there she is standing alone and he comes and holds her hand to dance and help her win. at last a memory from moments ago. an implacable man with gentle fingers touching her with flaming red gulal.

on cue it seems, he walks into frame, behind the mirrors through the drapes... i can feel my heart constrict then start to race. a perfect shot by creatives to tell their story. barun seemed to glide in and the look on his face... so many emotions mixed, all centred on her, she not yet aware of his presence. The way they shot this sequence. Sometimes close ups and sometimes from far. It was breathtakingly beeeuuutiful..

"khushi?!"

a question... a yearning... a man's whole world.

the wind comes in... it's staking a claim on its place and time.

a pause, a wait as they stand there just looking at each other. the makers have felt every bit of this scene, the editors are tiptoeing gently so as not to disturb magic.

he is frowning, worried, about many things it seems... possibly worried that he's hurt her a bit too much? lovely reading of his expression Indi di.

the wind is a quiet murmuring sea... she turns away.

he walks on silent feet to her and stands there, a little unsure of his next step.

she is rubbing her eyes.

he takes a decision and puts his hand on her upper arm, she goes still. ting tring... rabba vey starts... there is music in their hearts today, even if they don't wish to hear. Today was the day they attacked all our senses. the setting had a visual appeal to it and then that music. I can still hear it echo and am humming the tune non stop though I rewatched the episode a few hours back.

she turns back to look at him...

she rubs her eyes. he holds her hand to stop her... the wind comes again, a sign of intense feelings that will break free...

almost mesmerised, with dream like movements he lifts his hand and pushes a silken strand away off her forehead, ever since then that night in a collapsing building, he's had this desire. today her head involuntarily turned a bit as though to feel the caress, to accept it and like it. He had drunk bhang. Barun had this perfect expression in his eyes. Dazed, unfocused yet intense, tender. A surreal dreamlike quality to his languid movements

her eyes closed as feelings overwhelmed.

he gently blew into her eyes... hey hey... heyhey hey... she was stunned and remembering again. he had done this before... the day she thought he was practicing black magic on her.

langorous moments ticked by this holi afternoon and he blew away the irritant in his lover girl's eyes... she stared and remembered so many lovely things... which memory do we live by? the ones that are tumultuous and bring pain? or the ones that stir and thrill? a personality here and an emotion too.

she stared as he took care of her eyes... they both were getting lost in each other. an intimacy touched the frame. his eyes watched her closely, read her thoughts and there came a question in his eyes...

two people stood still face to face, not touching, just his hand by her eyes and a breath of his soothing her... there was such poignancy in those lissome lithe bodies standing there... so many possibilities, and this is all that seems to be left. poison had been drunk that night, to save whom, to vanquish whom.

maybe she remembered other things suddenly. she pushed his hand away... why, i wonder.

felt like a little angry gesture of a lover, that said, "how could you!" they both knew how much they wanted each other. even though... yes even I thought she was saying with a right..like an angry girlfriend, wife, lover.. you hurt me.. why.. I want you to manao (what is the english word for that?) me

his eyes moved in his signature way, assessing, she looked away, rabba vey played, not at all bothered by the rift. for it perhaps knew better.

he saw her troubled face, he struggled a bit with his own thoughts, conflicts within, and he turned to leave... he knew she had reason to reject him. too many reasons. yet every time it hurt him, even though...

but all of a sudden he stopped.

the first time i saw it, i had a feeling she'd stopped him, but i didn't dare hope for that beautiful moment. yet, it was that. her hand hand reached out and held his, pulling it back, stopping him.

a stirring breath taking moment. how still he went. I had absolutely no idea she had stopped him. My heart literally stops and starts beating again as the camera sweeps down and you get to see her hand entwined in his.

and in their love story a massive step was taken ... i thought of that small step on the moon analogy. she had reached out and held back the man who'd heaped only a slice of hell on her. she needed him. no. matter. what. the heart has its ways, thank g.

her face was troubled... but she had to have him close, had to ask him something urgent. he stood among the mirrors, speechless. time passed, they stood there like that. a plethora of emotions going through them...

at last he turned and looked at their linked hands, then his frown just as dark as it had been the whole day, more of consternation and puzzlement than anger perhaps, he looked up at her as though his glittering eyes asked, "why, what is it you want..." and as though it couldn't believe what was happening.

a glint in her eyes too as she made eye contact after she'd turned away with that anger between lovers... a touch of tears.

she took the next steps too... the girl whose hand he'd held and taken her roughly toward a temple, refusing to hear her words or all that her eyes said. but she had to talk to him... "dil ki baat" is often so different from the human made notions of shoulds and shouldnt'd what does or does not happen.

divine complexity i sensed in these scenes... so much about our inner workings coming through. really, ipk did understad the language of this inexplicable thing we have come to call love.

ipk made clear, therew as no place for social niceties, political correctness, rationality, nothing in this feeling. extra rational, pure, untouched, it is what it is. I love what you say here. really it is only him. And if she wont ask him whom will her heart reach out to. He is the only person she wants. needs. And even though he has hurt her, brought tears in those eyes, maybe even scares, definitely confuses her, but with him her heart feels safe enough to ask what it wants to know. When he comes close the heart still leaps in joy. His touch still makes her come alive. She still hopes. She still loves.

she stepped all the way to him... he stood their transfixed... all that hate... he knew how much he must have hurt her... and yet this innocent girl full of just a need walks up to him. pristine pure... this can vanquish all that's negative, this can release a tear, this can win the universe. snow queen and the releasing of a boy's heart by a girl's unclouded heart wafting through. Really, I sometimes feel Arnav loved her more. but then when I see some sweet simple gestures of Khushi I know there is no 'more' or 'less'. To have no ego, harbor no grudges, just love enough to say such sweet things to him.. love.. ❤️

she stood looking at him and heartbeats came in over the rabba vey, thrumming...

two hands came up without any hesitation and cupped his face, he looked at her approaching hands, such a thing had never happened to him... to them.

heartbeats.

he stood without a word, his eye lids lifted to glance at her again...

such tenderness had he ever been shown?

"hum aapse kuch poochna chahte hain arnavji"...heartbeats... the sun shone, and the curtains fluttered, a man looked on nonplussed, how much he loved her, how much... i want to ask you something, arnav ji. Khushi has the dialogues. She took that leap and yet his look is what has me mesmerised.

she let go of his face and her hands reached for his hand, the wind rose, the girl took the boy's hand and placed it on her heart...

"aisa kyun hota hai," a delicate, guileless voice, the sound recordist wanted to add an echo to pretty it all up a bit, every creative wanted to give this scene some love... but really, that makeup was not necessary... sanaya's acting was enough to make it ethereal... why does this happen? Sanaya looked so young and sounded so beautiful. Perfection.

"jabbhi aap hamare paas aate hain toh hamari dil ki dhadkan tez ho jaati hai..." he looks at her almost stricken, what was she saying, how much he wanted to hold her and what a mess life had become. whenever you come near me my heartbeats quicken...

she's a bit high, he knows that... he just wants to hear her words...

"humne samajhne ki bahut koshish ki"...she is troubled by the state of her being, how can she love this monster who made her do such things... life is complex... khushi delved into the mysteries of life with asr, he took her where she'd never been before and he changed her just by being there as she changed him... at the cost of sounding most cliched i must say, they helped each other find the person within.

i have tried hard to understand...

she shook her head and a childlike... "lekin samajh nahin paaye... bhulana chahte hain... par bhula nahin paate..." but i don't understnd. i try to forget yet i can't...

how hard she's tried to hate him...

he feels her pain, her confusion, his heart reaches her on that plaintive note, why can't i forget though i try? he's hurt this girl so much, but she can't stop loving him. what is he to do with this beautiful innocent girl he so wants so wants.

"aisa kyun hota hai?"

she is in tears by now, a heady mix of her feelings, the bhang and his colour on her, his nearness, she's immersed.

and he holds her face gentle and loving, in his hands... his pagal, the girl whose sanka he must take care of, she who will return 300 rupees to him, he just wanted to be so good to her... and yet.

in this gazebo far far away, where rose petals float, their fragrance in the air, where for a short short while it's just him and her. not the carrier of responsibilities, the brother, the ouraged lover, the broken boy, none of them. he. as he is, simple and just that. with her. he touches her in a way he's longed to for such a while. oohh your description.. it feels like a half forgotten dream.. some far away pages of a novel one may have read ages ago on a cool spring evening..

"bataiye na... aisa kyun hota hai?" tell me. why does this happen?

no words really in him, just an overwhelming burgeoning of feelings, tears gather in dark chocolate eyes. barun makes sure you never feel the glycerine.

i am sure the guy cried behind the glycerine. me too. he has to have felt it to get the feeling this right.

"ki hamari dil ki dhadkan hamari saason se bhi tez ho jaati hai?" that my beartbeats race faster than my breath?

and even as he looks at her, a part of a question whose answer is a truth, one eternal... she passes out on him.

what a lovely girl... gets drunk and falls flat... i could trust her and love her. seriously.

and the wind rushes, the trilling piano notes of rabba vey wrap around them, the gazebo holds them like an oyster, a pearl in its heart. she collapsed on him.

a little time to himself, he looks away fighting his tears... wipes one with teh knuckles... like a child. a cut in the stone, and a tear at last, the beginning perhaps of the washing away of pain. a child's heart awakens another.

he is overwhelmed by her innocent giving love... you can't fight that. it is easy to scream and shout and shut everything out, but what do you do when someone tells you with complete trust... when you come close to me my heart starts racing... tell me why. even though i try to forget... she knows he has hurt her... even then i can't forget... tell me why?

she swings away and he holds her looking at her. i felt there was a lovely scene edited out as he drew her close and he picks her up as he has done many a time before and walks away. a owning of teh moment, a taking charge of his truth in his stride. somehow they are separate from the crowds all around. it reminded me of the guesthouse scene

he takes her to the place they met again and again... lay her on a chair, and tended to his lover... so so tender, with a large handkerchief and holi colour on the cheek...the feeling was in his fingers, his face, his eyes, as though all he wanted to do for the rest of his life was take care of her, make her feel good..oh to be loved like that...

the bhang was having its way with him too... you could see it in the loosened jaw, the relaxed facial muscles, the lack of his usual aggressiveness.

he let the hankie go, then sat looking at her, his hand settled on her cheek... cherish. that is what he wanted to do. his girl.

she slept. she knew she was in safe hands.

when her eyes opened, the wind came in instantly, the feelings swirled and danced, they wanted voice, they wanted to live...

he was stroking her hair. yet when he saw her eyes open he began to draw his hand away, as if worried their status quo didn't permit all this... how hard for him not to love her, touch her... yet that is what the current situation demanded.

he sat staring at her beloved face and remembered a girl in white with a wide smile with a key on her palm. mannat ki key chabi. a simple key that was supposed to open the lock... she would. she did.

many memories rushed him as they had floored her. the early days, when he'd seen her on the road in delhi, angry with the man who'd rammed into her scooter.

he'd never not wanted her.

and she stood there in red and he gobsmacked...

i have goosebumps for how long i have forgotten, the music is perfect, the sound soars and takes me on a memory ride... i remember sitting up in bed waiting for this magic night after night... so many memories of ipk..

how he'd needed to come out and save her from the car that night of rain...

a return to now as she says, "arnav ji aapne abhi tak hamare sawal ka jawaab nahin diya..." you didn't answer my question.

so cute, she had not forgotten... even the bhang wouldn't couldn't make her forget... she needs the answer...

he shakes his head as if to say don't hurt like this, he strokes her cheek with his thumb and he tells her why he thinks what happens happens. today he won't lie, won't fob her off... today he won't scream "i hate you" to tell her he can't live without her. today he won't tease, he won't play, he wan't stall, today he will tell her and he will love her and adore her and hold her and hug her just as his heart wants to.

he leans in toward her and says the words that would be embedded in many hearts forever. fairly pedestrian words really, even silly and mushy, most men would balk at saying such things... but not this actor. he would make them real. and exciting.

"main batata hoon ki ais kyun hota hai..."

low key, understated, thinking man's voice... as if he is wanting to alleviate pain with a real answer, a solution.

he swallows, his hand moves to hold hers...

and he places it on his heart... hilltop wafts in, a flash forward in me...

"jab tum mere paas hoti ho," when you are near me... he is gentle and husky and intimate...she looks into his eyes... an instant of complete meeting.

"toh tumhari dil ki dhakano ke saath saath... mere dil ki dhdkane bhi tez ho jaati hai..." then along with your heartbeats, mine quicken too.

she is wonder struck by this... hey hey sings the air

and a smile begins to clear the troubled look in her eyes... she understands what he tries to say. she understands this man alright.

"hamari djhadkane ek ho jaati hai," our heartbeats become one.

nth time i watch... and the goosebumps are all over me... why does this break through all my cynicism, my jadedness and feel right... true... beeeautiful.

"jo tum mehsoos karti ho... jo main mehsoos karta hoon..." which i can feel and you can feel.

she joins him...

"hamari dhadkane..." tearful she is, caught in the wonder of it.

"ek ho jaati hai..." our heartbeats become as one. he nods and affirms.

she seems to sob, but now in joy, a glimmer of a smile on his lips and on hers...rabba vey

why should this kind of feeling matter? let's talk of real estate, bank balance, investment, reality check, branded shoes bags jewellery the right brand of college... that's real, that's life that's what we must have... must.

nah. let's talk of a boy and girl and a poolside named romance.

and he stroked her cheek again, and she looked at him and all was good. 👍🏼

"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it...
~~~ e. e. cummings ~~~