Posted:
I was actually rewatching all the episodes from the very first one this past weekend because after I watched the first two episodes when they had aired, I didn't really watch until the marriage ( though I did slightly keep up).
I wanted to see how far Ishita and Raman had come and how exactly did Ishita and Ruhi fall in love. And the sleepless nights that were filled with watching yhm were so worth it because even though Raman is behaving like an idiot right now - and even though they still aren't in love/nor have any realization of it, these two have come SO FAR from the beginning.
Anyways, Raman will slowly realize as well that what he said to Shagun the night before his engagement to Ishita was a farce and a lie. He will realize his 'love' for Shagun was pretty superficial; he'd lost his footing on the mountain and fell down through the ravine, not knowing what hit him when he saw and loved Shagun.
I mean, Raman was an absolutely heartless beast to Ishita and of course like any self-respecting woman Ishita wouldn't let him get away with it and would fire back. That trick with Subbu's mom, trying to get her to convince judge sahiba that Ishita was incapable of giving testimony was so dirty and so disgusting that - even though I had just watched 30 episodes of Raman's heartlessness - I still could not believe he would stoop that freaking low!
And yeah, even though I really want them to fall in love with them sooner rather than later I'm glad the writers are taking a slow and steady pace (not too slow but not too hurried either). As some other member on this forum who's name I unfortunately do not remember said, people in real life don't fall in love by simply getting stuck in the rain together or falling and holding or 5 minute long eyelocks - especially if you're past the hot-blooded and mills&boon-type romantic-notion filled age of youth. It takes longer; especially at Ishra's age (though its not like they're middle aged, they're both pretty young - late 20's/early 30's is definitely not old or middle aged in my book).
It takes moments of compassion and kindness and seeing one another help each other and their families out and basically more than just a pretty face or a rugged body to build love - yes build love.
I say 'build' rather than 'fallen' because Ishita and Raman are slowly building their love and this is what is going to make his love for Ishita and his marriage with her so much different and much steadier than his love/marriage with Shagun.
Raman literally fell in love with Shagun. I'm guessing he was around 20 or so, maybe between 20-23 when he married Shagun; very young and - as he was a kind of a nerd back in the day - too inexperienced to realize the difference between love and lust.
I don't know if you all can remember that episode that flashbacked to the first time Raman saw Shagun in real life. If you see the expression on his face, he was awestruck. And being the mumma's boy he was, he probably didn't think he needed to really converse with Shagun to see if their personalities matched; here was a drop dead pretty girl (I mean, Anita is extremely pretty it has to be said) who his parents wanted him to marry.
I can't blame him to be honest. Shagun was probably Raman's first real crush and as you all know, your first crushes are so important. Though most of our first crushes don't work out, Raman got to marry his first crush and fell in love with her for her looks rather than her actual self. And to just look at the word "crush", I mean yeah my crushes now don't really matter to me as much but I still remember my first crush and I'm pretty sure most of you do too. Because when that potential love story doesn't work out for us - like it happens 99% of the time - you face your first heartbreak, your first literal heartcrush. It takes you longer to recover from your first crush than any other future crushes.
So back to Raman falling in love with Shagun - he literally fell face down off a cliff into a ditch with his supposed love for her, the first woman outside of his family's circle that he knew personally; the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen; and the only woman who'd had a relationship with him - him! - Raman Bhalla, nerd extraordinaire!.
His fall into love blinded him from Shagun's faults and made him see only whatever goodness she had in her. It even made him talk back incredibly rudely to Mr Bhalla (note: Standing up for your wife to your family is important and honorable, but you need to do it tactfully and appropriately. In that instance, Shagun was in the wrong so Raman shouldn't have coddled her like a toddler).
So when Shagun deceived him, Raman was heartbroken because he not only lost his first crush, but also his first relationship; both of which, when broken off, are usually the most painful because thats the first time you experience heartache in regards to romantic love. Because he had literally fallen in love with her, he needed time and effort to climb back out of that ravine, back to sanity and away from the intoxicating mix of lust/first love.
And in Raman's case, he didn't want to accept any help from his family or close ones; its like refusing to grasp on to a rope or using a rescue helicopter if you've fallen in a hole/off a cliff and stubbornly saying that you'd get out yourself without any assistance at all. And as I've noticed, the quicker you fall in 'love' (which is usually what you think is 'love' but is just attraction/lust), the harder it is to get out of the heartbreak you'll be left in when it's finished. Raman, who had fallen in love with Shagun the moment he first glimpsed her, took a long time to atleast climb out of his love with Shagun - he was still struggling to hold onto the precipice of the cliff even after he married Ishita. Right now, he's probably just hoisted himself off the edge of the cliff.
In regards to Raman and Ishita, their eventual love will be built together like a brick house. There was no falling in love here; neither of them were attracted to each other like that nor were they emotionally in any position to do so. But perhaps due to their initial unattraction (which is slowly changing, as we can see!!), they were forced to converse with one another and gauge one another's personalities. First they had to build a mutual trust and respect for one another, which slowly evolved into a tentative friendship.
When Raman sees Ishita taking care of his family, his daughter, as if they were her own by blood, that makes him respect her more. When Ishita sees Raman's camaraderie and respect/compassion towards her own family, she appreciates Raman more. These values are golden and just as heavy, so as to form a solid foundation for their relationship. Slowly, these bricks will build up from dosti to pyaar and whatever tsunami comes their way, it'll be hard to break down a wall of solid brick; its far more easier to flood a ravine or a hole than to break down a rock solid construction, if you get what I'm aiming at.
Anyways, Raman will slowly realize as well that what he said to Shagun the night before his engagement to Ishita was a farce and a lie. He will realize his 'love' for Shagun was pretty superficial; he'd lost his footing on the mountain and fell down through the ravine, not knowing what hit him when he saw and loved Shagun.
But with Ishita, he'll see that his love is stronger and more masboot because it took effort and time to build and coax. And because this second love is based on more tangible values (oxymoron, I know) than just a pretty face, it'll be the truer and purer of his "loves".
And of course, this will take time. You don't go from pure nafrat to giddy love in a matter of days or weeks or even a couple of months. It takes a few more months, more time. I'm pleasantly surprised that a tv serial is taking this slowly and realistically like this; I'm even more surprised that this is being showcased in an Ekta serial! It may seem like a long time for us, but as they say, sabr ka phal sabse meetha hai.
Note: And as much as I personally don't like the idea of falling blindly into love, I hope Raman falls in love with Ishita because I just want to see Mr CEO Raavan Kumar the egotist on his knees for the independent Madrasan/Jhansi ki Rani that he so insulted just a few months ago. HA!
Jhanak
Udne Ki Aasha
Anupamaa
