This is majorly just a short piece explaining Ishita and Raman's thoughts, if the truth about Shagun was to come in front of Ishita. Hypothetical as of now. No dialogues, just thoughts and emotions (at least in this piece).
Apology
Everything is fine. It was his chant, his salvation, the constant phrase in his head. Perhaps, if he repeated it enough times, fate would stop playing this cruel joke on him. Perhaps, the other thought, the one which is glaring at him, the thought that he has screwed up would be drowned in the good thought. Perhaps.
She is not heartbroken. Ishita was trying really hard to make the statement believable. She was smiling outwardly, fussing over Ruhi, consoling her mother-in-law, joking with Romi and Mr. Bhalla. If only it was this easy to smile inwardly. If only the picture of Raman and Shagun wasn't burnt in her brain. If only the truth behind the accident wasn't being hidden by the sole person she had trusted after Subbu. If only she could forgive and forget that her mother had almost died and her husband, her confidante, had purposefully betrayed her. If only.
He knew he was pretty useless today. He had already messed up a datasheet, sent the wrong file to the wrong office, and broken almost everything made up of glass. Thank God for Mihir. And the peon. Mihir hadn't asked him what was wrong. Raman was guessing that the expression on his face was scary enough to keep everyone at least a few feet apart from him. Mihir had advised him, quite clumsily (he might have laughed if the situation wasn't the worst in the world) to go back if he wasn't well. As tempting as the option was, he couldn't go home and risk seeing her. The disappointed and heartbroken look on her face was difficult enough to see once, seeing it again could very well be the reason he would fall to knees and ask one of those Gods his mother went on and on about, to take him with them. And Raman didn't want to face hell so soon.
Adi had always been his weakness. He was his firstborn, the first thing he had been responsible for creating, the only perfect thing in Raman and Shagun's life at the time. He didn't love his daughter any less. But Ruhi had always admired him. Considered him her hero. However, Adi had always been his mother's child. Raman had wanted to be his son's protector, the one who taught him how to ride a bike and played football with him; the one his son would go to when in doubt, or to drive away the monsters under his bed. He was never any of it though. He wasn't even his father properly.
But today; but today, he had lost the position of Ishita's husband too.
He may have married her for Ruhi and called her just Ruhi's mother. But how long could it take someone as pure and big-hearted as her to get under his skin? Under all his ridicule and stellar one-liners, he loved those emotional talks they had or the care she took of his family, he respected the person she was. And her conviction. Be it her stand against Parmeet, or her insistence that he must have a polite relationship with Shagun, Ishita took a stand, and stood by it. And he had seen the same conviction in her eyes for him. She had trusted him. "But what had the exceptionally intelligent Raman Kumar done?" , he thought spitefully. He had simply crushed all that faith right under his heel and watched it fall to pieces. He really was Raavan Kumar.
"Finally, the pretence ends.", was Ishita's first thought after she had put Ruhi to bed. Her father wasn't back yet. "Probably spending the night with Shagun.", she said out loud, and then squashed the idea right then. No matter what had happened and for all his faults, she refused to think of Raman as a cheater. He may be lousy at a lot things, but cheating physically on her wasn't something she would ever accuse him of. Mentally, mentally, was another thing altogether. He may not have slept with Shagun, or even touched her, but he had protected her.
"Not that it mattered to her," her ego added. But at least for her mother, who trusted and loved him like her own son. How could he do betray her mother? It didn't matter...
"It matters damn it!" she shouted out loud, and then realized that she was not only talking to herself, but also going to awake Ruhi with her loud voice. But the thing was, she realized, that it mattered. It mattered that he had broken her trust. It mattered that he knew who had left her mother helpless and hadn't told anyone, leave alone punish them. It mattered that he had not shared it with her. It freaking mattered.
She hadn't told anyone. Not yet. Not her. She loved her mother, and knew that she was already in physical pain..she wouldn't add any mental torture to that. She was undergoing the pain today, she couldn't even think about her family - both in-laws and parents - going through it. Although she wasn't sure, if she had read even a percent of her husband right, the guilt was killing him. And she wanted it to gnaw on his soul, till he realized what the right thing to do was. Till then, she looked at Ruhi and smiled lightly, she was going to give her parents house, a small visit. Slowly, she kissed her forehead, and left the room to talk to her mother-in-law.
He was going to apologize. And hope she forgave him. But this not talking about the large elephant in the room was killing him. He wanted her to shout at him, throw things at his head (he deserved it), and call her Raavan Kumar. He knew that the matter wasn't that small, he was letting a guilty person roam around free, but he was hoping that she would listen to him. About how much Adi had pleaded and he couldn't see those tears in his eyes. That he also loved Amma, but his helplessness against Adi's pleas had forced him to make this decision. That he would do anything she asked him to do.
Finally reaching a conclusion his mind and heart both accepted, he drove like a madman to his house, and raced into his room. Only to see Ruhi asleep alone on the bed.
Ishita's side was empty.
And Raman fell to his knees.
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So far, all I have written is this shot. Whether or not there are future parts to this story, will depend on the reaction to this piece.
Please read and comment!
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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