Munna Bhai jokes

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.

Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga. Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do. Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.

Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
Patient (F): Pooray badan mien hai
Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her earlobe and says here, then touches her left cheek and says here, etc.
Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien dard hai.

Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai k mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia) hai, kyun k pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
Munna: Haan ray meray ko akha yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray ga.

Aik patient Munnabhai k paas aaya, Munna nay us ka chekup kiya aur bola
Munna: Tumharay pass ziyada waqt nahi hai
Patient: Meray pass kitna time hai.
Munna: Dus (10)
Patient: Kya Dus.... Minute..... Ghantay.......... Din......?
Munna: No (9), Aath (8), Saat (7),.......

Raat ka time jab Munna aur chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay to phone ki ghanti baji.
Voice: Aray Doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha liya hai
Munna abhi jaanay k liye tayyar hi hota k dobara phone aata hai.
Voice: Doctor Sahab! Ab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband ko shave k liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.

Aanand jab end mien bachon ko story sunata hai to bolta hai;
Aanand: "Munna nay kaha tha k woh mujhay aik month mien meray feet pay khara kar de ga"
Bachay: Phir?
Aanand: "Phir kya, mujhay us ka bill pay karnay k liye apni car bechna pari."

Munna: Apna munn kholo.....
Patient opens his mouth: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa..........
Munna throughs his torch light in his mouth: Hmmmmmmm..... Torch sahi hai.

Chinkie: Tum hamaisha clinic mien apnay saath meri photo bhi kyun le jaatay ho.
Munna: Apun ko jab bhi koi mushkil aati hai, apun tumhari pic dekh leta hoon aur woh prob. solve ho jaati hai.
Chinkie: Dekha! Mien tumharay liye kitni achi aur powerful hoon.
Munna: Haan! Apun teri pic dekhta hai aur apnay aap say bolta hai "Is say bari bhi koi problem ho sakti hai bhala."

Munna: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.