Should grandparents interfere?

When a parent is disciplining their child should a grandparent interfere.......that is try to overrule the parent's decision.......try to minimize the punishment or something?

Do grandparents have a right to discipline their grandchildren or should the disciplining be left to the parent?

Originally posted by: mittijalebi

When a parent is disciplining their child should a grandparent interfere.......that is try to overrule the parent's decision.......try to minimize the punishment or something?

Do grandparents have a right to discipline their grandchildren or should the disciplining be left to the parent?

Oh .. this topic is dear to my heart.
Grandparents MUST not interfere, but they can suggest something LOVINGLY to their own kids by citing examples😳. No forcing, no dadagiri and no RESPECT and EXPERIENCE torture puhleaseeeee.........
Times change and needs change. If something is terribly wrong with parents, then for those cases I may change my views regarding grandparental interference. However, I would still ask why parents are so messed up when it was GP's responsibility to teach them well 😉

!! I truly feel like deporting these old women who allow their grandchildren to eat un-necessary amounts of sugary filled sweets , oily food, buttered parothas and what not and hurl the "chup kar.. hamari umar ka respect kar aur hamara experience jyaadaa hai wo dekh.. kuchh nahee hota bachche hai shor karenge aur abhee to umar hai sweet khaneki.. MOTU,, aajaa mera laadlaa bachchaa.. Khaa le, maa se mat dar..."dialogue at bahu-the-idiot even if she is a doctor or similar by profession 😉"
I wish there were a DEPORT button in the right corner of life screen for such interfering folks 😆😆.

😆

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

Oh .. this topic is dear to my heart.
Grandparents MUST not interfere, but they can suggest something LOVINGLY to their own kids by citing examples😳. No forcing, no dadagiri and no RESPECT and EXPERIENCE torture puhleaseeeee.........
Times change and needs change. If something is terribly wrong with parents, then for those cases I may change my views regarding grandparental interference. However, I would still ask why parents are so messed up when it was GP's responsibility to teach them well 😉

!! I truly feel like deporting these old women who allow their grandchildren to eat un-necessary amounts of sugary filled sweets , oily food, buttered parothas and what not and hurl the "chup kar.. hamari umar ka respect kar aur hamara experience jyaadaa hai wo dekh.. kuchh nahee hota bachche hai shor karenge aur abhee to umar hai sweet khaneki.. MOTU,, aajaa mera laadlaa bachchaa.. Khaa le, maa se mat dar..."dialogue at bahu-the-idiot even if she is a doctor or similar by profession 😉"
I wish there were a DEPORT button in the right corner of life screen for such interfering folks 😆😆.

😆😆😆 @ deport button.

Frankly speaking, both my mom and my MIL unabshedly interfere when I am disciplining my girls in front of them😆 No...I don't mind...that's what grand parents are for. Mine did the same and I still remember the love and affection I got from them😊

Waisey bhi, woh log aatey hain aur kuchh mahiney baad chaley jaatey hain. I don't know how youmg moms in joint families cope up with this but I do not see it as a problem. I just adore them for loving my kids unconditionally....and ensure my kids get lot of outdoor activities to burn up all those extra calories😉.......works always...specially when kids also ask their beloved grandparents to take them to the park........gives me some privacy with my hubby😳😆

I am all for GP spoiling the little brats of grand kids...I am gonna do same to mine...when I become naani😊

Originally posted by: Gauri_3

😆

😆😆😆 @ deport button.

Frankly speaking, both my mom and my MIL unabshedly interfere when I am disciplining my girls in front of them😆 No...I don't mind...that's what grand parents are for. Mine did the same and I still remember the love and affection I got from them😊

Waisey bhi, woh log aatey hain aur kuchh mahiney baad chaley jaatey hain. I don't know how youmg moms in joint families cope up with this but I do not see it as a problem. I just adore them for loving my kids unconditionally....and ensure my kids get lot of outdoor activities to burn up all those extra calories😉.......works always...specially when kids also ask their beloved grandparents to take them to the park........gives me some privacy with my hubby😳😆

I am all for GP spoiling the little brats of grand kids...I am gonna do same to mine...when I become naani😊

Doll, yeah, I see where you are coming from. What you see as interference is not exactly interference as I see it. 😃. The above examples and several members of that famly I have seen shut their DIL and allowed the 3 year old to drink as much COKE ... Her tooth was compromised thanks to this too much sugar eating behaviour while mom cried inside. When it came to sending the kid to PRE-SCHOOL.. the dadi interfered again, and mainly playing with TOYS happened- Kya faaltu ka drama baji hai.. hum bachchee ko itnee jaldee nahee bhejenge school-wool..". The kid was behind other kids when she actually joined school at 5. She did take a toll for quite a while.
KIDS need their mother the most and my SIL was forced to quit her job for " "bachche ki parwarish" too. Although dadi continued the parwarish her way anyway! 😛 the kid was singing "chale jaise hawaein sanan sanan.." but could not count upto 10 until my nephew -younger kid reached beyond 20.
Now tell me if you'd like such interference? is this justified pampering? 😳
I have unfortunately seen a lot of this - and I admit i may be biassed :)
I forgot to add that dadi also wants this doll to have a brother now.. 😛. That is obviously for her to decide.. Parents who???

Sensible parents never interfere.. they love, adore and pamper.. Oh .. like my nephew by my folks and his other GPs too.. But that's only because they also know and judge what's not going to affect his development into a responsible and healthy individual.
There are so many youngsters taking up smoking drinking as they can fool their grandparents easily, who in turn shut up their mothers.
Anything that ruins kid's development due to EXCESSIVE pampering should be nipped in the bud 😊.

great to see such excellent responses....one from each side. feeding the family dinner now so will log on later to give me views. 😉

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

Grand parents role is to Spoil grand kids with parents knowledge and approval to some degree 😛. When parents are disciplining kids no one should interfere period. If GP wants to guidance-advice them than there is time and place for it and that is not in front of children.

@ QT wanting to hit Deport button I am all for that 😆 😆

@ GD I totally know where your parents and IL are coming from. I agree with QT that is really not interefering. They are here for short time and you want both GP and GC to have the best time.

In no shape parents authority should be compromised IMO 😃.

YEY! DM's favorite di and doll's favorite dadi-ba agrees 😃.. makes me soo happy! Very well said there DBjaan 👏

Originally posted by: tisha_g

QT, you cracked me up with your examples. I have herad this from you in the past too, but in writing it sounded funnier😆😆

Thankfully my mom and MIL don't interfere in my disciplining when I am disciplining my daughter.They discuss with me later about it.
But I am all for spoiling when they go to their homes.

Yes Tisha! It's the same angel I told you about. I once interfered as the kiddo's MOST favorite aunt in the whole world 😳 and was literally kicked out of that dadi-devil's den..😭.. Now I meet her only outside somewhere.

Jalebi, Aap DM par jhaaye huye ho😃. Good variety of topics.👏

I think that loving and spoiling are two different things. When you bring up your child in a certain way and then grandparents or any relative suddenly does everything opposite and call it love then that is not done. A grandparent and grandkid can have a good time without spoiling and teaching things which is a NO from parents. I have seen this putting too much stress on people. If a parent can take it and consider it cool then fine but there are many instances where grandparents purposely try to enforce some of their ideas and try to do things just to oppose the DIL's method.

Anther thing I don't like is if anyone interferes when a parent is disciplining the child. If it is a relative then I believe that the parents can talk to that person later and make them understand where she is coming from. Parenting methods differ from person to person and what might seem right to a grandparent might be wrong to the mother and vice versa. I dont think anyone would take offense if there is little bit pampering from grandparents. It is normal but I as a parent would not like if I get opinions on everything under sun to bring up my child starting with ' Hamare zamaane mein..........'. I would politely listen perhaps then continue with my methods.

You had your chance to bring up your daughter and son. Now let your son/daughter bring up their kids their way. They might have different parenting method but at the end it is all disciplining in ones own way. You can always give your experienced advise but never enforce it as at the end of the day they are the parents and let them adopt their method.

Originally posted by: mermaid_QT

"chup kar.. hamari umar ka respect kar aur hamara experience jyaadaa hai wo dekh.. kuchh nahee hota bachche hai shor karenge aur abhee to umar hai sweet khaneki.. MOTU,, aajaa mera laadlaa bachchaa.. Khaa le, maa se mat dar..."dialogue at bahu-the-idiot even if she is a doctor or similar by profession 😉"
I wish there were a DEPORT button in the right corner of life screen for such interfering folks 😆😆.

🤣

QT, I laughed so much that I spilled my evening coffee.

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

Grand parents role is to Spoil grand kids with parents knowledge and approval to some degree 😛. When parents are disciplining kids no one should interfere period. If GP wants to guidance-advice them than there is time and place for it and that is not in front of children.

Only you could say something like this.

👏