In the defense of Mala.. - Page 3

I am kind of 50/50 on this one. One on hand it kind of seems unbelievable that how can a mother leave both her husband and her child but on the other hand we don't have the whole picture in front of us.

Originally posted by: Zeeliciousxo

Knowing all that Rudra went through as a child, and even goes through today, I cannot sympathize with her. Perhaps I can sympathize with the wife who felt she had no choice but to run away, but there is no way I can sympathize with the mother. Why did she not take her son with her when she ran away?? Would that have been so difficult to do?? If Dilsher was a mean and terrible person, why did she only think of her own escape? Why did she not take her son with her, so he could escape as well?? If he was a terrible husband he was most likely a crappy father as well. Why not spare Rudra from him? Yes it's hinted that she came back for Rudra, but it seems that she came back for him more because she missed him than because she wanted to save him from Dilsher's clutches as well.

We don't really know the story so I guess I can't really ask all these questions yet, but no matter what the story turns out to be, I will bang my head against the wall if Paro supports Mala instead of Rudra. All Rudra needs is support, if Paro cannot even give him this in such a sensitive period, then I don't even know what to say. Yes Paro sees Mala as her mother but she is married to Rudra, a husband and wife are a team, and she claims to love Rudra more than anything, so even if she doesn't agree with him, as his wife she should support him and stand by him. I want to see Paro angry at Mala, angry for what Mala put Rudra through because she (Paro) feels Rudra's pain like it's her own and she can't take it.

P.S. I wonder if the precap is another dream 😕 Because in the segments we saw today Rudra and Paro are romancing in the bedroom, eating together, packing together, falling on their bed together...how do they go back to acting that way after such a huge truth is revealed to Paro? 😆Shouldn't Paro have like a million questions to ask Rudra...they can literally use an entire episode to just show Paro's reactions and questions to Rudra...😛 But they seem to be rushing everything...so hopefully the precap is real.

agree

Originally posted by: ttt1

yeah takur's character has a lot of potential

that is an interesting point , why did he marry mala in the first place , i place my bet on love , the initial scenes were very romantic , even when she revealed about her son , he was fine and supportive

it is only when he realized its rudra his mission above love track came up

lets see how they go about it

Originally posted by: sushan

I do not want to judge anyone now but guess is- Dilsher had inferiority complex and his wife was beautiful so he became a doubting husband hence became very bitter and a tormenting husband mental torture is more damaging. Some how Mala met Thakursa he was good with her we have seen he had always treated her with love and respect witch she never not get from her husband .So simple at heart Mala got manipulated by Thakursa that soon he will get her son by her side may be circumstances were such that she could not take Rudra with her that time and Thakur sa keep on giving her reasons for not being able to get her son.

Other situation could be that Dilsher in one of his drunken times threw her out and Mala could not take it anymore left and later on met Thakursa some how.

Looking at Mala's character I do not think she is some one who falls in love with other man and left her family just like that. Dilsher and Mohini seems to be equally responsible in her leaving. I remember one time Mohini mentioned that Mala was more loved by her own parents before their marriage as she was the perfect daughter.

Originally posted by: evenjleena28

I am kind of 50/50 on this one. One on hand it kind of seems unbelievable that how can a mother leave both her husband and her child but on the other hand we don't have the whole picture in front of us.

Reasons for For Mala

As you wrote she saw a green pasture and decided to move on. Very simple kind of straight forward. She wanted to bring the kid but couldn't do so for multiple reasons. She is a good person who loved(until she found out the truth) her husband unconditionally and wanted to explain the situation to her son but timing was never right. Paro thinks very highly of her and Rudra's hatred for her was instilled by dad which again makes sense given he was the one whom the wife left.

Reasons for Against Mala

From what I see or have seen in past series, in indian tele series mom love is unconditional. The ultimate if you will. Even Mohini seems to be a better mom, why? simply because she is in their lives. She is a thakurain and we have seen she can and does go behind husbands back and obviously stayed in touch with the devar too. What I am thinking is why didn't she then looked for her son and husband? she knew they are not there but somewhere else. She has the monies to afford a private investigator and look for the son. Why did she came back a month later and not a week? why didn't she go to the kid's school to talk to him in that month? or was Rudra home schooled? To abandon your child, she better have a very very good reason for it.

Obviously we don't have the whole picture here and I would love to see how it is all panned out but it does leave a lot of questions. We don't know the whole story of her marriage to begin with? what compelled her to marry a guy with a handicap? what made her leave the home and why was she only in touch with Devar?

I guess once I see all that it will make more sense but right now I am giving her benefit of the doubt.

Most of us would not think twice before criticizing the ever crying bahus in various shows who put up with all kinds of cruelty from MILs, husbands and go on shedding tears at alarming rates but never daring to take a step away from it.. In a way isn't that what Mala has done? She was a bad judge of character when it came to Tejawat but is that so much of a crime to hold against her.

Originally posted by: ACTywm

edit: lol...I have written an essay again...I think next time you won't invite me to your thread to save yourself the essay 😆

Most of us would not think twice before criticizing the ever crying bahus in various shows who put up with all kinds of cruelty from MILs, husbands and go on shedding tears at alarming rates but never daring to take a step away from it.. In a way isn't that what Mala has done? She was a bad judge of character when it came to Tejawat but is that so much of a crime to hold against her.

👏

Brilliant!! And as much as I don't want to agree, I will say a very apt and justified point...when put in your words...she has done the very thing we scream at women in other shows to do, take a stand...go with the one you love don't stay with the wrong-doer...(saying this in the context that Tejawat wasn't a bad guy and Dilsher was a horrible husband...) do what your heart says...and as you say, technically we have done just that...so yeah i guess we shouldn't complain...for she has shown couragee by following her heart...much in the same way Paaro did when she crashed Rudra's medal ceremony and proposed in front of all that were there...as she says it doesn't become a woman in their society to speak up in front of men let alone convey their feelings and desires...so it must have taken A LOT of courage for her to take that step, knowing full and well that she would be tainted in the society he grew as the woman who ran away and those taints would be led by none-other than her sister...for I find it hard to believe having grown-up with her sister she wouldn't be aware of her personality...so yes in this accord technically we shouldn't scorn her...for she was a bold and brave person to have taken a step others would not even dream to take...

However, my problem with Mala was never with her falling in love or pursuing that love (Tejawat turning out to be evil is secondary) not even her leaving Dilsher...although she should have done it in a proper manner, where she divorced him...but then again this is a village back-drop so may be they don't have a concept of divorce, I don't know so can't say...but yes regardless of how happy/unhappy Dilsher made her due to whatever reasons...although your inferiority-complex reason is the one I have always assumed too, for being a problem in their marriagee, where he could have have been a good husband but the complex makes him bitter causing him to poison the marriage without realising...men generally don't like being at the mercy of women especially not village men from what I understand or that is the way they have always been depicted to me...you can see this trait in Rudra too, where when his hand is paralysed he doesn't like being dependent on Paaro or anyone else...he doesn't let the nurse, Paaro or Laila take care of him...however, Paaro being Paaro forces her help on him and so he accepts at times...not always...

anyway...so yeah I don't even have a problem with her leaving Dilsher for whatever reason be it his inability to accept being dependent on his wife that turns their marriage sour or something else...I can deal with it...as we don't know how long Dilsher has been lame for, whether he was before marriage or became that way after due to some mishap, like srk in KANK, thereby ruining his marriage as he cannot take being dependent an unsuccessful...i can look past it...I don't condone it but I can understand, that she may have tried to make him not feel the inferior but eventually it killed their relationship and Tejawat's entry made her chose him over Dilsher...so I can allow that but again would have hoped she would have done it in a more sensible way where she ends things properly, even if divorce isn't something that is done in a village, leave him but by telling him not running away...

now coming to the thing I cannot forgive, as you can guess, is leaving her son, regardless of her making sure he would be still loved as he would be with family (Dad, uncle, KcM and cousins) or the fact that she came for him after a month or two...I cannot understand or accept or forgive that...I ask the same question Rudra asks...if she had so much motherly love inside of her, to shower upon Paaro then why forget her own son?!! He too needed a mother...there is a reason why it takes two to make a baby, because that baby requires both to raise him/her...one really should question the acts of God...there is a reason two come together supplying the necessary chromosomes/DNA to make one baby and then those two are required to raise the child...as both impart important things on the baby which alone they cannot...for a mother and father are two separate people and a child needs both their separate identities to shape their personality...a mother love is different and a father's love is different, but both necessary and important in a HEALTHY childs' upbringing...sorry to state obvious facts here...but sometimes one needs to be told the plain and obvious truth...like the sun is round, yellow/orange and in the sky...Mala needs to be told this truth or reminded of it...that it wasn't enough to leave Rudra with just the one parent...he needed both...n in their family her a lot more than him because...Dilsher was a dependent...so she being the only independent one in the family while Rudra was kid she needed to stay a part of them...not until at least Rudra was old enough to take care of himself and his father...but she doesn't think of this or if she does she ignores it...thereby not just robbing Rudra of a childhood but making him become the parent rather than Dilsher being that for him...for her departure make Dilsher loose the little bit of a independence he may have had by becoming a drunkard and leaving Rudra to take care of him rather than vice versa...

so I personally feel that no amount back story, or legitimiate excuses will ever get me to understand or forgive Mala...now they may reveal that it was all Mohini's ploy to get Mala out so that she could rule alone...fine whatever, I wouldn't put it past Mohini...that may be the case and in that case I may soften somewhat for Mala, but will not forgive her even then...why? Because regardless of what the circumstances, I will never understand how a mother can leave her own son...and no amount of reasons in the world will justify that for me...I can come to peace with her past and somewhat accept it, whenever they reveal it...but never wholly forgive her...as I think Rudra shouldn't either because no truth will erase the damage those fifteen years did...they won't take away the lonely nights he spent in his room crying for her, drinking milk glass upon milk glass, writing letters upon letters (but not being able to post it) just so she would come back...she broke a child's trust that is why he now finds it so difficult to trust...she broke trust at an age when everything is pure and white, no evil exists...she shattered that world for him instead of allowing him to grow out of it, just the way a normal child does...I mean recall the first time when one of your childhood belief broke...for example when you realise your parents are not immortal or invincible that they too can get hurt, (i.e. when they may become hospitalised for something...it is the worst feeling and realisation ever)...it completely shakes your world when that realisation dawns upon you and it is then the blinds of childhood begin to fade away and you see the world for what it is...Rudra's blinds were ripped away from him instead of blurring out...

she breaks him and so I cannot forgive him...because he was the innocent party in it all...Dilsher may have been a bad husband, mohini a nightmare to live with...Tejawat her knight in shingin armour offering her an out...but Rudra? what did he do? what was his mistake in it all? how could she leave him...whether by decept or will, she left him and that was a concsious decision...she took that decision willing to leave...whatever the circumstances that lead her to that decision is again secondary for me, because that decision was taken by her to leave her son and husband...even if Mohini egged her to do it...how could she take that step...just the way Rudra asks Paaro...if you truly love me as you claim to then how could you leave me...if you loved then you wouldn't be able to, no matter how much you tried you wouldn't be able too...and case and Paaro tries...but she is still at the station unable to go...she can't leave him, seeing how hurt and upset he is...she just can't...so Mala was his mother, just because when she left he wasn't crying doesn't mean she wouldn't have been able to guess that he would be devastated by her absence...Paaro can anticipate it that is why she starts crying the moment she realises she has to leave...so how can a mother not?!!!

Also if she came back to him after a month but couldn't take him as Dilsher had left to Jaipur...then why not pursue him...if she really wanted her son in her life then why not make hte effort...just the way she makes the effort to go to chandigar for his sangeet aching to see him...she is a thakurain she must have men at her disposal to go looking for her son, if she cannot ask her husband the thakur to go look for him, then why not send someone else...just the way she pays the villager to find Paaro...so she has resources...why not search further...also she has been in contanct with danveer, why not force him to look for his brother and her son...an if the thought of Dilsher having taken Rudra away brought solace to her heart making her think ok, my son is ok...then she has no right to go back into his life for she has then truly left him to his father...

lastly...in the episode where Thakurain is revealed...when Tejawat says how he treasured her as his Queen but it was her declaration that her son is more important to her than her husband (meaning Tejawat here not Dilsher) which led to her now becoming a prisoner of Tejawat's rather then continuing to reign as his queen and wife...she shouts back NO!! As in her son was not more important to her than Tejawat...it was only when she saw his true side, his traitor side did she side with her son...suggests that in fact even up until a while back she doesn't regret the decision nor ponders over it much of leaving her son behind, whether because she thinks Rudra is fine because he has become a major or because she isn't really concerned...whichever,,,the point is Rudra was second to her than her love...only now she regrets it...so she repents...fine...but what does she regret in my opinion it is the fact that tejawat turned out to be evil because that means she left everything for the wrong person...if he remained a right person in his eyes she would never regret the decision even if she met Rudra and realised how her departure broke him...she would probably just give her excuses and let it be...the only reason she realises her decision to leave was wrong is because she realises that Tejawat is a bad man...if that wasn't the case I really don't see her repenting...she may have gotten upset, more for her sake then Rudra's as she thinks when they meet he will hug her and love her the way he always did, so when she doesn't get that instead harsh words from him, it would hurt her that her leaving so completely shattered Rudra and her bond but she wouldn't have repent...not from what I can tell of her at the moment...

but alas lets' see how the story continues to unfold...and how Laila adds her own mirch-masala to it...their by manipulating Mala and Rudra's relations further...

Frootie, i think you have got it wrong there about mala and telling the thakur. She told the Thakur her sons name, that he was getting married only when.. Well, he was about to get married. Thakur had no inkling of her son! She secretly kept in touch with Danveer. She had her own loyalists in the palace. So to tell Danveer that she came back for Rudra.. It makes me think that she met the thakur a little after she ran away. Which means that although Rudra thinks that she ran away with the thakur, that might not have been true. When she found Rudra gone, she went (back) to the thakur and kept silent. Found an outlet for her mamta in Paro. Survived.

Good post. Women are always the ones to think worst of other women, nahi? CVs so fas has given us enough reasons to think that Mala after all can be a good person. Whether they use it to make a great story is their prerogative 😒 after all, they were the ones to think iron overdose can cause limb paralysis and a crisis can miraculaously heal the said paralysis, so not so much hopes

Thanks for opening a much needed post in defense of Mala and for citing Reeha's post also. I am shocked that educated women are so quick off the mark to cast a guilty verdict upon Mala without knowing her full story. Moreover, Why are fathers let off the hook easily when they abandon their families for greener pastures? They are equally responsible for the well being of their off springs as a Mother is! If a Mother can do the best possible job in face of insurmountable difficulties (including tremendous financial poverty), then why should the same not be expected of a Father? Besides, as fairy tales are full of hard hearted step mothers, how many men (especially Eastern) do you know of who are willing to take on the responsibility of someone else's child? In my experience, it's a rarity.