Silent Whispers
-CHAPTER SIXTEEN-
Parks of the Past
"... and keep listening to 98.3 FM for India's hottest radio station - Radio Mirchi!"
Khushi stared out of the darkened windows of Arnav's fancy BMW, deaf to the commentary of the RJ. Her mind preoccupied, she didn't even notice when the radio was turned off.
"Why so quiet birthday girl?" Arnav asked. "As shocking as it sounds, you didn't utter a word at the meeting today. Quite disappointing, considering I drove you all the way to Agra to attend it."
She maintained her silence.
While it was true that the duo spent the whole day in Agra, finalizing a plot for the construction of a new factory, Khushi spent most, if not all, of her day, thinking about the sudden turn of events in her life.
Her mother had stage four cancer. She had refused treatment for the past one year. And her brother agreed to the whole thing without a second thought.
Khushi didn't even understand what the news meant. What was so shocking about it that she couldn't sleep for the past two days, restless?
She knew it wasn't Garima's death wish - she was used to it, courtesy of watching the latter try to end her life multiple times in her childhood.
No, perhaps what bothered her was the fact that it was hidden from her. Both her mother and brother had once again taken things into their hands, excluding her completely from the family decisions. She was (once again) isolated. The only difference was that she wasn't confined to her room, like she was when she was ten.
Khushi vaguely wondered if she was ever going to be old enough to be asked for her opinion. How easily her brother claimed he was trying to protect her? As if he really thought hiding the truth was the solution!
Sure, she yelled at her mother. Sure, she was horrible to her. But did no one see why she did that? Did no one really understand the agony she went through? Did they all really believe she hated her mother?
The answer was simple: yes.
Yes, they thought she was immature. They believed she couldn't be fixed. Why else would they hide such a big thing from her? They were sure she would relish the news of her mother's illness.
Khushi closed her eyes, just the thought of being happy at Garima's condition giving her Goosebumps. How had she missed it? Everything was obvious from the start: her mother suddenly trying to make conversation after fourteen long years, her brother begging her to give a second chance. And not to mention the physical changes: Garima's weight loss, lack of appetite, weakening strength...
Khushi gritted her teeth. She was so proud of her intelligence and yet, at the moment when she needed it the most, it deserted her.
If only she found out sooner, if only she noticed the symptoms earlier... the odds against her may have been a tiny bit lower.
If only.
"Khushi?!"
She turned blankly towards Arnav. "Huh?"
"Your phone is ringing," he said.
Khushi looked down at her lap and sure enough, her screen was flashing with an incoming call from Lavanya. She declined it without much thought.
"Well, aren't you going to pick it up?" Arnav asked, surprised.
She shook her head.
"Did you take vow of silence today by any chance?"
"Why? Do you want to complain about that too?"
"No, I'm simply curious... I was thinking I should send flowers to whoever made you this calm. Do you want to help me find their address?"
Khushi stared straight ahead, choosing to watch the dwindling highway than answer his sarcastic question. To her bad luck, her phone rang once more.
"Who is so desperate to talk to you?" Arnav asked, when she declined the call a second time.
"Lavanya."
"The one I met in your cabin that day?"
Khushi nodded.
"Maybe it's important," he wondered out loud.
"No... it's probably to complain about her Dad."
Arnav snorted. "I assume this is one of the many things you share with her, no?"
She glared at him in response. "For your information, her Dad is trying to fix her marriage against her will. Is that enough reason for her complain about him?!"
"And why would he do that?"
"It's a long story," she replied with a sigh.
"And I, birthday girl, have all the time in the world. We still have an hour until we get home. So either you entertain me or risk getting us into an accident due to sheer boredom on my part."
"You could have just said you were curious."
"And since when would that convince you to recount this intriguing tale?"
She rolled her eyes. "Fine... Lavanya met a guy called Aman four years ago at some random party that I don't really remember. Lavs beings Lavs flirted with him for fun, but he kinda took it seriously and eventually, they began to date."
"Small interruption. Given that she is your best friend, shouldn't you know more details?"
"What are you? An old aunty looking for gossip?"
"That was mean... even for your standards birthday girl. I was simply exhibiting my curiosity for this long story of yours."
"Well, too bad. Lavanya had too many flings for me to remember and I assumed Aman was one of them."
"Oh I see," he said, looking straight ahead at the road. "Your memory has limited space."
"You are right, it does, which is why I'm going to believe that I didn't hear what you just said."
Arnav opened his mouth to retort, but she cut him off.
"So as I was saying, they began to date - happily may I add - when Aman got job in London, as in London, UK-"
"I'm perfectly aware of the geographical location of London. In fact I have been there-"
"Okay, okay! Sheesh! I was just trying to clarify," she said, shaking her head. "Is it so hard for you to not interrupt me?!"
Arnav bit his lip. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. But do continue."
"So Aman started working in London. I thought they would break up, because relationships are hard enough as it is, forget adding long distance to them. Surprisingly, they lasted. Only-"
"Only Mr. Kashyap found out."
Khushi looked at him in astonishment. "How did you know?!"
"Come on, you know me better than that. It's obvious that her father doesn't approve... after all, aren't parents always the villains in love stories?"
"Funny... but this isn't some cheesy movie!"
"Who said movies aren't based on real life?"
"Oh please! That much melodrama doesn't happen for real. But why are we even talking about this?!"
"I was merely-"
"Do you want to hear the end or not?"
"My apologies... Again. I will reserve my comments until the very end."
"How very gracious of you," she retorted. "Anyway, yeah, Mr. Kashyap found out the night I was drugged and as far as I know, it led to a pretty ugly fight..."
"Did he not approve of Aman?"
Khushi tried to recollect the conversation she had with Lavanya the following morning. "I think it was more of anger... he didn't like it that his own daughter lied to him for four years. Added to that, Lavs barely passed this semester. She was never the person to take her life seriously, so all of that just bubbled out at once."
"Well, she took Aman seriously, didn't she?"
Khushi stared at Arnav, surprised to hear him voice her thoughts. She knew he had gift when it came to understanding people, but how was he so accurate with someone he barely met?
"What happened?" he asked, catching her gaze. "Do you find me handsome again?"
"You said exactly what I was thinking," she answered in honesty. "When I met Lavanya, she was so sad... not because her Dad yelled at her, and definitely not because he secured her future in his company against her wish - she wants to be a fashion designer FYI. It was because she was losing Aman."
A smile spread across Arnav's face.
"I never saw her like that. She genuinely wants to be with him..."
"Why is that so surprising?"
Khushi was stumped to hear his question. Given all the chaos in her life, she never had time to revisit her friend's situation after their supposed "Girl's Night Out". But now, talking to him, brought forth one of the biggest predicaments about her best friend.
What really was the surprise in Lavanya taking Aman seriously? It was coming, given how long they have been together. And yet, Khushi just couldn't believe that her best friend could be in love... the kind that led to marriage and a happily ever after.
She remembered Lavanya's outburst when she had rushed to her that day:
I love him Khushi! I really really do! It's not some fling, it's not for fun... I truly love him. But Papa just doesn't get it! How can he even think I won't be happy with Aman?
Khushi had never seen Lavanya so serious or heartbroken before then. It was as if she was talking to a different person altogether.
"Crap!" Arnav muttered suddenly, when the car began to jerk unexpectedly and within seconds came to a complete stop.
"What happened?!"
"The car broke down," he replied, getting out on to the lonely highway.
Khushi followed suit.
"It's due for servicing soon, but I didn't expect it to stop working. Let me call Jai."
It was only after finishing the call to a trusted manager, demanding for another car, that Arnav paused and looked at the still - not to mention silent - figure of Khushi.
"What?" he said. "No sarcastic remarks about my car's premature breakdown?"
A line appeared on her forehead. "It's a car Mr. Raizada," she replied, calmly. "It's bound to stop at some point, right?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you are feeling alright?"
Khushi simply shook her head in annoyance. She was just about to get back into the car, when her eyes fell on an abandoned playground beside the road. Without another thought, she headed to the swings, remembering the countless times she sat on them as a child.
A small squeak escaped the swing as she settled on it and kicked off from the ground. She didn't care that the rusty chains were old and had a high chance of breaking. At that moment, she felt free, soaring high in the winds before a storm.
However, her bliss vanished when she felt a pair of hands gently push her from behind. She wildly turned around to see Arnav, watching her with a small smile on his face.
"What are you doing?!" she yelled, as she fell through the air, back to his awaiting arms.
"Swinging you," he murmured in her ear, just before pushing her once again high into the sky.
Khushi felt a shiver run through her. Hearing his voice so close sent some sort of thrill in her. It was almost as if he invaded her personal space, when in reality, he did nothing of that sort.
"It's a beautiful night isn't it?" he asked, continuing to swing her.
"It's the calm before a storm."
"So when do you exactly plan on erupting? I need to get my safety gear ready."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"That you are too calm today... so, it's inevitable that you will argue more fiercely tomorrow, no?"
Khushi didn't reply, not having the energy to respond. She relished the feeling of flying into the sky too much, to stop and pick an argument with him.
"So, why do you like swinging?" Arnav asked casually.
Her reply was instant. "My Babuji used to swing me everyday when I was little."
"Everyday?"
"Mm-hm... There used to be park nearby our house. So, he would take me there as soon as he came home from work."
Khushi almost felt as if she was in that same park once again. It had been years since she sat on a swing, forget being pushed on it like a small child, but she remembered the feeling as if it was yesterday.
"What about you?" she asked when Arnav fell quiet. As strange as it sounded, she wanted to hear his voice - it kept her from thinking about her mother. "Was there a park you went to as a kid?"
"I grew up in Lucknow... my father had one built in our backyard when Anjali grew old enough to insist on going to the playground."
Khushi smiled. "Did you ever go there or were you too proud back then too?"
"It's different when you have younger siblings... going to the playground ends up being more of taking care of them, then having fun yourself."
"But what about when your parents were around?"
"It doesn't work like that," he answered, his hands no longer pushing her. "You will always worry, you will always feel the need to watch over them."
Khushi couldn't help but remember her brother. Didn't he have the same instinct, the same drive to protect her?
"Why?" she asked slowly. "Don't your parents have the responsibility...?"
"It's not the point of responsibility... it's the point of trust. They trusted me to take care of my siblings."
The swing had come to complete stop now. "Trust-ed?"
"They are no more."
Khushi knew that, and yet, hearing it from him at that moment of time when she had been endlessly fretting over her mother, came like a blow. She deserted her swing and stepped closer to him. "What happened?"
Arnav looked at her with wonder. It was evident he didn't expect her to care.
"It was an accident," he said slowly. "They had gone to an colleague's party, leaving me in charge of Akash and Anjali... I was in my room, working on an assignment, when I heard Anjali screaming. I ran out as fast as I could to find A-Akash lying at the bottom of the stairs... unconscious."
Khushi listened intently, watching him recollect what she guessed was the worst night of his life.
"Apparently, he slipped and fell while running down the stairs. I called the ambulance right away, praying that he would be okay. After all, he was my responsibility. If anything had happened to him..."
He trailed off.
"And your parents?" she prompted, when he settled into silence.
"They left the party as soon as I called them. It was raining that night... they were driving so fast that my dad didn't even realize when he lost control of the car and-"
He didn't finish, though Khushi knew what happened next. She waited patiently for him to continue.
"My mom didn't make it to the hospital," he said finally. "The doctors said she was gone even before the ambulance got there. But my dad made it... he made it long enough to say goodbye."
Khushi gulped, not even being able to fathom the agony that must have torn him apart. While it was one thing to hear her mother diagnosed with a deadly disease, she realized it would be a whole other to see it come to fruition. Was she going to face the same thing he did?
"H-how was it?" she whispered.
Arnav didn't seem to need an elaboration- he knew exactly what he was being asked.
"There used to be a tightness here," he murmured, pointing to his chest, where his heart lay. "As if you can't breathe..."
She gazed at him, as if watching from the very end of a tunnel. Wasn't an odd tightness clinging to her for the past two days? Didn't she feel as restless as ever since her mother was admitted to the hospital?
"T-then...?" she asked gingerly.
The corners of his lips pulled up. "It goes away... eventually. After all, what is life without change?"
Khushi couldn't reply, her mind racing with a million thoughts. How long was she going to feel like this? How long until the anxiety grew tired of tormenting her? It was all so confusing.
Her deliberations were shelved, however, when lightening suddenly flashed across the dark sky, followed by a rumble of thunder. Khushi jumped in alarm.
Arnav smiled mischievously. "I didn't know the mighty Khushi Kumari Gupta was scared of things."
"Oh please!" she muttered. "Now let's go! It's going to rain!"
Sure enough, large droplets of water began to descend as Khushi ran back to the car. However, she noticed quickly that Arnav wasn't at her heels. When she turned around, he was still standing in the same spot, his arms spread out wide and his face turned up towards the showers.
He was enjoying the rain without a care in the world.
Khushi watched in awe as his white shirt became translucent, sticking to his perfectly built body like a second skin. She hadn't even realized when he shrugged off his black blazer (not that she was complaining!). In fact, she was so preoccupied with her troubles that she didn't even realize he was different today.
Whether it was asking about Lavanya or talking about his parents; it was as if he was much more then a shell of arrogance and superiority. It was nice. Well... almost.
Suddenly, without a warning, he looked at Khushi and upon catching her stare, winked. Turning crimson, she swiftly turned away and hurried back to the car, thanking the stars it was dark.
But when did the universe ever go easy on her? Within seconds, Arnav had caught up, matching her stride with his.
"Checking me out, are we?" he asked cheekily.
"You wish."
He stepped in front of her. "So you are going to blatantly lie then?"
"I'm not lying... Like every other sane girl on this planet, I wasn't checking you out."
Arnav laughed. "Oh birthday girl... if you are sane, then the earth is flat."
She narrowed her eyes, just as another roar of thunder rolled across the skies. He looked at her expectantly.
"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "You don't seriously think I jump every time there is thunder, do you?"
He grinned. "I was starting to make that mistake, seeing as I spent the whole day with Khushi, instead of the usual Miss Gupta."
"Well, the day is over Mr. Raizada, and our car is here."
Then stepping around him, she ran to the black Mercedes that just pulled up. Arnav slowly followed her, the smirk she detested, never leaving his face.
It was as she got into bed that night, when Khushi finally understood what had been bothering her.
It wasn't her mother's surrender to cancer or her brother's withholdment of the truth or her own ignorance to the situation for that matter... what troubled her the most was that she didn't want to let go.
So, she decided to hold on. She wasn't going to loose her mother over something as silly as pancreatic ductal adenocarcinoma.
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