Final Part (B)
(One year later...)
I was sitting in a wheel chair as Anna wheeled me back to my room in the corridor of the hospital where people were walking by and some familiar faces waved and said hello.
"Good luck Kittu."
"You will be okay."
I smiled at them and waved hello back to them.
I was feeling weak and tried but at the same time...completely happy.
Happy because as of tomorrow I was finally heading towards surgery for my heart transplant.
It took a good nine months before another one was made available and then it took a while as there seemed as if there was going to be complications in retrieving the heart but everything panned out.
After continual rounds of checkups and preps I was ready and it was scheduled for tomorrow for me to finally get a new heart and I was a mix of happiness for sure and trepidation as well.
"You aren't talking as much." Anna said.
I sighed and I pushed a strand of hair away from my face and I looked up at her and she glanced at me for a second before her eyes focused back onto the road.
"Nothing to talk about." I said while sighing deeply.
"That is not like you to NOT have something to talk about." A deep voice said.
The voice was familiar, so familiar, and it carried along with it a blanket of warmth and protectiveness.
I lowered my head and stared ahead saw him standing by the doorway with a bouquet of flowers and with a million watt smile.
I instantly smiled.
His hair was ruffled but combed and brushed into perfection while he was dressed in a pair of a white dress shirt and a black vest with a pair of blue jeans and brown boots.
I could feel my spirit instantly soar and I wanted to jump out of the wheelchair but I was too weak to do so and most likely would have fallen flat on my face.
"Bhaiyaa?" I said quietly, not believing my eyes.
"Is there supposed to be any other?" he said while smirking and gave me a wink.
I shook my head and Anna brought me closer towards my room, wheeled me inside, while Kunal followed.
"I will give you a few moments, I will come back in an hour from now and place you back in the bed." Anna said while nodding and closing the door in her path.
But my attention was solely on Kunal as he bent down on his knees and placed the flowers in my hand yet instead I tossed my hands around his neck with a death grip.
"Bhaiyaa?" I felt myself laughing and the pinpricks of tears were starting to sting my eyes and I could feel some of it start to slide down.
Although Kunal came around during Christmas and was here around the New Years and the Lohri festival...he had to quickly leave soon after for school.
It's been a good four months since I last seen him, since around January to be accurate.
I kept on hugging him and I could feel and hear the crinkling of paper and roses but I couldn't stop as I was afraid that if I let go he might disappear from my eyes yet again.
I continued for a long time and whether he was uncomfortable, annoyed, or upset about me having him in a practical choke hold, he didn't move nor say a word instead of the gentle rubbing of my back, like he always do to help calm me down when I was upset or sad.
I slowly drew away from him and stared at his brown eyes that were staring at me in concern.
I felt a tear run down my cheeks and he quickly lifted his hands to wipe away my tears.
"With the way you're crying I doubt you will need any water for these flowers." He said while chuckling.
I sniffled and I gave him a sloppy grin.
"I miss you." I said.
"I miss you too Kittu. I'm sorry if..." He trailed on and I shook my head.
"You're here now. Don't spoil it." I said while pouting.
He smiled and brushed away another strain of tears that fell down my cheek.
"So are you ready?" he said.
"Not really...I'm still scared. I'm afraid of what can go wrong..." I sighed. "But I rather have this feeling, it's not bad, it's a mixture of fear, anxiety, and happiness." I said while smiling.
He patted my head and he lifted himself up and took the flowers with him and placed it on the nightstand that was by my bed.
He took a look around the room and smiled but paused midway when he noticed something on my desk.
He walked over and I looked at him confused and then I saw the box...the box...with the bracelet that Anand bought for me and I placed it inside when I had to take a CAT scans.
Anand...
I missed him and it's only been a week since he last visited.
He was busy prepping for exams and was unable to visit me especially during the time for my surgery that was coming up but he called and we video chatted every night so it felt like he was near me and was able to calm me down when the fear really kicked in and became overwhelming.
Kunal held up the bracelet and he looked at me in confusion.
"What is this?" he asked confused.
"A bracelet." I said just as quickly.
Kunal was too good.
He knew me too well.
There was no lying when it came with him.
Even if I did, he would catch me within that lie within a few seconds.
But there was no way I could tell bhaiyaa about it.
Anand would be dead, Kunal was just as easy going but when it came to boys, he made sure they kept an arm's length away.
If they didn't I was sure he would have beat the living daylights out of any guy that got to close than comfort with me.
And Anand surpassed more than comfort...
I blushed at the thought and shook my head.
"I know that...but it doesn't seem like something you will buy." He said staring at me with slight amusement and confusion.
"What...what...what are you talking about?" I said feeling myself stuttered.
"Not just that...when did you find time to buy for something like this? You are only in the hospital and around the hospital grounds so...I'm just wondering how you are able to buy something like this more or less when it comes in a box like this?" he said with more amusement but confusion was gone from his eyes and now suspicion was sinking in.
"What are you talking about bhaiyaa?" I could feel my heart starting to beat and my hands were becoming clammy.
"In other words Kittu, who gave you this?" he said while smiling and there was nothing lighthearted about it and I could feel the bated flames of anger.
"Why has to be someone gave..."
"Because someone gave it to you...so who gave it to you?" Kunal said.
"A f..f...f...friend." I said popping the first thing out that was in my head.
"I heard that you roomed with a boy for a while." Kunal said.
"I roomed with numerous of boys and girls over the years..."
"But you were caught on so many occasions sneaking into the boy's room when visiting hours were over." Kunal said.
How they heck did he know all of this?
Was it...
It had to be Latika!
Gosh!
"Sooo...I can have a male friend is there anything wrong with that?" I said looking at him in annoyance.
"He was a good friend but don't worry he left. Are you happy now?" I said in annoyance.
Kunal placed the bracelet back into the box and walked over near me and hugged me.
"I'm sorry Kittu. I was just playing and then I really got annoyed and angry that...that...I'm sorry. I don't wish that for you and wish you have one friend at least. I'm sorry, but you're my sister...I have to protect you from anything that might hurt you." He said softly and he pulled away to stare at me.
"What more can hurt me?" I asked silently, my annoyance waning away.
Kunal looked at me in concern and shook his head.
"I'm sorry Kittu...I..."
A knock was heard on the door and we both looked up as the door opened.
"Excuse me Kittu, but you have a visitor." Anna said.
I looked at her in alarm and she looked to the side.
"Can you tell the person to wait for a while I'm talking with my brother." I said worry bursting forth at the thought it might be Anand trying to surprise me.
If he walked in now...he would be dead.
Plus I just told bhaiyaa that he was a good friend and left.
But he is not a friend, but your boyfriend and he did leave the hospital as a patient.
But still I lied.
Not necessarily...you told the truth.
Not the whole truth.
But you still didn't lie.
It still isn't any better.
But it's not a lie.
I'm still hiding something.
Not necessarily...you just...
ARGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I screamed in my head as my mind was trying to find reasons in justifying in not telling the whole truth.
"I'm sorry but the person said they have to see you now. It's very important." Anna said seriously.
"Its okay Kittu, I won't bother your friend..." He said while winking and wagging his eyebrows mischievously.
"You won't be saying that until you meet him." I whispered under my breath.
"Huh?" Kunal looked at me confused.
"Nothing." I said while laughing nervously.
Kunal smiled and he went to the chair by my bed and plopped himself in it.
I looked at Anna and she stared at me with a sorry expression and I sighed.
"Bring them in." I said slowly and silently prayed to God for Anand's safety out of here.
I was expecting for him to enter but was surprised when a soft voice called out to me.
I looked up and was surprised to see Shraddha enter the room.
Anna...
I was going to her back for making me believe it was Anand...almost had a heart attack believing it was him...
Sheesh!
I shook my head and looked back at Shraddha who flashed a big smile on her face towards me and I smiled back.
She was in a simple floral dress with black tights and the shoes she was wearing gave her another few inches for her already tall frame.
Her hair was tied up into a high bun with some of the strands falling down past her face.
I see why Anand was becoming more annoyed and amped up.
"It's becoming tiring. It's like they are popping up everywhere." He said annoyed.
"But she is becoming older and she is becoming more beautiful so it's obvious that your gender is noticing it." I said while laughing at him.
He groaned.
"It's not funny, it's not easy seeing your little sister starting to become more mature in your eyes nor is it easy seeing her starting to get interested in boys as well." He grumbled.
I chuckled.
"It's all part of life. She was going to notice sooner or later." I said while smiling.
"Why couldn't she be like you and notice them until she was 17?" He said looking at me sharply.
I arched my eyebrow.
"I'm sorry to hurt you but I've noticed the opposite gender before I was 17." I said.
"But...but...but.." Anand stuttered.
"I'm just kidding." I said while laughing.
Anand looked bemused and didn't look like he fully believed me so instead I leaned up and pressed my lips against his and took a moment to release them as he wrapped his hands at the back of my head, angling me, further, closer to his mouth so he could sneak his tongue inside but I pushed him slightly away.
I smiled at him as his expression crossed in disappointment and heat and it caused me to blush.
"Just imagine, soon enough Shraddha will start dating." I said to tease and at the same time distract him.
"Never!" Anand's expression became horrified and I chuckled at his expression.
My attention came back to the room when I noticed she was carrying bags upon bags upon bags of stuff.
"Sorry Kittu for visiting on such short notice but..." she said while smiling.
"Its okay." I said quickly and tried to unlock my wheelchair but she quickly rushed over towards me.
"No don't bother. I just came here to drop this here." She said.
"All of this?" I said shocked.
She smiled and it reached her eyes and it was amazing on how beautiful she was becoming and in contrast looked just like her brother in some ways.
"Yep! Mama was running bhaiyaa and I around like a nutcase to help her make these so...you know." She said while smirking.
"Mama says she is sorry she isn't able to visit you tomorrow but promises when your surgery is over she will come to visit." She said while smiling.
I looked at Kunal and he wasn't paying attention to me nor did he look like he heard what Shraddha said.
Instead he was too busy staring at her.
Rather ogling her out as the look in his eyes were the same look he used to give to some of the older girls that used to be my roommate.
I shook my head and looked at Shraddha who was trying to unload the bags on the bed and soon Kunal got out of his chair.
"Let me help." He said flashing her a smile.
I shook my head.
"Really? Here you go then." Shraddha said while unloading all of the bags towards Kunal and he quickly grabbed everything as Shraddha passed it towards him and came back towards me.
With the time that Kunal was fumbling around with the bags I quickly whispered to Shraddha.
"Please don't mention Anand...or anything about our relationship right now." I said.
"Why?" she said in confusion.
"That's my brother. If you don't want your brother to become a pummeled mess please don't mention him right now." I said pleading to her.
Shraddha scoffed.
"I'm slightly insulted for even that idiot brother of mine that you think..." she stared off towards Kunal and looked back at me. "That he can actually defeat him." Shraddha said with offense.
"Hey, it might not look like it but my brother is not all that you see on the surface." I said defending Kunal impulsively.
Shraddha looked back at Kunal and if I was crazy I thought I saw interest cross her eyes but instead she smirked.
"Oh really? It;s hard to believe." she said.
Before I could say anything Kunal finished arranging the bags and came where Shraddha and I was talking.
Shraddha arched her eyebrow as his sudden intrusion and seemed as if some of her feathers were ruffled.
"Hello, I didn't introduce myself earlier I'm Kunal, Kittu's brother." He said smiling and stretched out his hand.
She looked at him and she stretched out her hand and he wrapped his in hers and I thought I must be seeing things when it looked like Shraddha might have blushed a little but it wasn't so as Shraddha released her hands from Kunal's.
"She told me earlier." She said giving a tight smile.
Kunal smiled.
"It doesn't suite you to force a smile." He said while smiling even more and tossing her a quick wink.
Shraddha lost the smile on her face and she was staring at him in confusion.
"What is your name?" he asked with interest.
"You don't know who I am?" Shraddha said.
Kunal looked confused and looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders waiting for the sly comment Shraddha was going to make.
"I'm Kareena Kapoor." She said.
Kunal lifted his eyebrow in amusement.
"Really?" he said.
"But then again some people say I look like Deepika as well." Shraddha said smiling.
Kunal stepped back for a while.
"Nope. I would say you are more so like Katrina." He said while smiling.
Shraddha arched her eyebrow at that.
"No? Maybe next you will claim that you are an excellent dancer so you must be Madhuri Dixit is it?" Kunal said.
Shraddha stared at him without replying.
"But then again you may say you are the epitome of beauty such as Hema?" Kunal teased.
I softly chuckled and shook my head as seeing Shraddha starting to pout as her teasing failed.
"But seriously why would you say you look like them, I think you look more beautiful than all of them." He said softly.
For the first time I saw her blush; a deep red.
She lost her train of thought and I smiled at the scene playing out.
Kunal took her hand and Shraddha let him without moving away from him.
"So Kareena... Deepika, Katrina, Madhuri, or Hema which one are you again?" Kunal said while staring at her.
"I'm none of them." She said staring at Kunal and for a while I saw the smile wipe off his face and his expression turned serious.
"What is your name." he asked.
"Shraddha." She said while staring at him.
The two stood like that for a couple of seconds to the point the atmosphere became weird and I coughed and I saw Shraddha jump.
She blushed again,the second time and released her hand from Kunal.
"Sorry Kittu, but I have to watch over Ishaan and Ashish... Anand is about to go to practice so I got to go. Bye bye and stay strong." She said.
I nodded and she looked at Kunal and looked away before she walked out of the room.
I looked at Kunal and he sighed and he went to the chair and plopped in it.
"Why did you tease her like that?" I said with curiosity rather than annoyance.
"It's not what you think. ..." He said.
"But you were flirting with her." I said this time to share in the amusement.
He finally wiped his serious expression off his face and smirked.
"I always do so. But she is too young." He said seriously while sighing.
"How do you know?" I asked skeptically.
"I wasn't sure...but her reaction...she seem as if she might be around your age." Kunal said looking at me.
I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not that younger than you, you are just three years older than I am." I said while pouting and folding my hands together against my chest.
"You're still just a kid." He said while sighing again.
"Hey! I'm not a kid. I'm 18 now." I said.
"Still a kid." He said while chuckling.
"No she is the kid. She is three years younger than me." I said annoyed.
Kunal lurched out of his seat.
"She is 15?!" he asked with his eyes bulged out.
I laughed at his expression and I could feel Kunal place his hands on my shoulder and I looked at him and he had a horrified expression.
I stopped laughing and stared at him and he seemed perturbed.
"She is 15. Well she turned 15 a few months ago." I said seriously.
"But...but she looks..." he said confused.
"Older? If you see her father you will understand." I said chuckling.
He released his hands from my shoulder and mumbled a soft apology.
"Disappointed?" I said watching as he went back to his chair.
He blinked for a while and smiled at me.
"Not really...but she was really cute." He said while cutely pouting.
"Liar...you kept on ogling her." I said.
"When I thought she was legal. I don't want to be arrested and be considered a pedophile." He said.
I shook my head.
"She is only six years younger than you, in a another three years you will be 24 and she would be 18...so there." I said while smiling.
"Nope! Not interested she is too young." He said.
"Really? It seemed like she was interested in you." I said while looking away and I looked out the corner of my eye and saw Kunal pause and a soft smile reached his lips.
"Especially seeing as she has never dated anyone but you're right, you aren't interested and she is too young for you. I agree." I said nodding but still noticing his expression as he frowned at my statement.
He sighed.
"Kittu stop worrying about inconvenient matters. Concentrate on preparing for tomorrow's surgery." Kunal said.
"You are no fun at all bhaiyaa..." I said while pouting.
********************
(One month later...)
She was sitting in her chair, her back to me, as she stared out the window.
Her hair was hanging down at the back of her wheelchair, loose from any braid or bow that she usually wears so she must have suspected my arrival.
At that I smiled.
I knocked gently on her door and she slowly turned towards me and gave a soft smile.
I came in further into the room, carefully closing the door after me as I slowly walked up closer towards her.
My heart lurched at how pale her expression, at the nasal cannula that was sticking out from her was but the look in her eyes reassured me that she was feeling okay today.
It's been a month since they performed the heart transplant surgery and it seemed like everything was going to be smooth sailing...until the complications arose.
She suffered cyanosis, where her lips, nails, and parts of her skin became blue and she almost suffocated in her sleep and had to be rushed towards emergency surgery.
I didn't find out about it the following day and wanted to immediately see her but the doctors were refusing for visitors to see her until she rested.
The doctors saw that what they fear was becoming true as the beginning signs of her body fighting the new heart starting to unfold and were hoping they could steer it from a complete rejection.
They were putting her on bed rest and continual medication that sometimes had her so out of it that she didn't even noticed that I was even there.
But I didn't stop visiting her even if times she wasn't fully aware that I was there.
"Be careful my brother was just here who knows if he might come back." She said chuckling softly.
I smiled and wrapped my hands around her and I could feel that she was startled but she settled down and she touched her hands against my arm.
"I don't care." I said while softly rubbing my nose against her cheek.
She giggled this time around.
"You weren't like this before when my brother almost caught you." She said.
I gulped at that.
"It was an awkward situation. I was hiding in the shower of the bathroom. I'm sure there wouldn't be any calm way to explain to him our relationship." I said.
She giggled again.
"I don't think you would have the time to explain anything." She said while smiling.
I stared at her and she suddenly looked at me and she blushed, adding some color to her pale face.
I turned her face towards me and she blushed even more and she lowered her eyes.
"I...I...I...I don't...don't think...think...you...you..." she tried to say but I sealed my lips against hers that were pale.
Her lips felt so cold to the touch but I pressed mine even more against hers to warm them.
I continued to press my lips against hers and slowly I could feel her respond and soon her lips were starting to warm up and soon I couldn't stop myself from slipping my tongue into her mouth and she moaned softly.
I slipped my tongue to find hers and it didn't take a second longer for my tongue to connect with hers and she let me rub mine against hers all the way making cute noises.
Her arm came against mine and soon I felt myself make my way in front of her, without losing contact and slowly picking her up from her wheelchair.
"Anand...what are you doing." she yelped.
I chuckled and stared at her, pausing midway.
"What do you think?" I said huskily.
She gulped and lowered her eyes.
"You shouldn't..." she tried to argue.
"I want to. Please Kittu." I said pleading with her with my eyes the words that I wasn't saying.
She seemed to understand as her body relaxed and she wrapped her hands around my neck and she nodded silently.
I smiled at that and kissed her forehead and she slightly blushed, causing her cheeks to have a small flash of crimson against her pale complexion.
I slowly carried her towards the chair that was by her bed and sat in it as I balanced her on my lap, never losing my grip on the kiss that was starting to become out of control once more as the stroking started to pick up along with her cute whimpering and mewling noises.
I couldn't stop and I placed my hands against her face that was also cold and drew my lips away from hers.
I stared at her eyes that were a dark brown and seemed glazed over.
"Are you okay?" I asked while staring into her eyes.
She nodded and she leaned closer towards my face and instead of her taking charge I placed my lips firmly against hers.
I continued to kiss her and wrapped my arms around her, pressing her firmly in my embrace and drew our lips away and rested my head against her shoulder.
It took me a while to maintain my breathing and for my mind to clear before I said my next statement.
"So when is the next surgery?" I asked softly.
She relaxed in my embrace and I could feel her hand pressing against the side of my stomach.
"They are trying to wait and see...but my father is pressing for them to have another surgery...last time...it was too close to call. The next one might be scheduled in a week or so." She said.
I pressed my head even firmly against her shoulder and wrapped my hands even tighter against her as my chest tightened at the memory finding out she almost died in her sleeping.
"It's okay..." she said softly.
"You will be fine..." I said softly.
I felt something in my hair and moved my head away from her shoulder and saw her smiling at me.
"I don't think you will allow anything otherwise?" she said while chuckling.
I smiled at that.
"I won't." I said while grabbing either side of her head and leaning upward to kiss her nose and she giggled softly.
"I love you Kittu." I said softly as I stared into her eyes.
She smiled softly.
"I know you do because I love you even more." She said while smiling at me and she tried to move but hesitated.
"What's wrong?" I asked while removing my hands from either side of her head.
"Nothing..." she said and she lowered her eyes.
At that I smiled and realized what she wanted and instead of saying anything, leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers once more.
I quickly drew away to whisper to her.
"If you are having trouble breathing let me know." I said seriously.
She nodded and I leaned my lips back against hers, softly teasing her lips until I used my other hand to hold her chin to stop her from moving around too much.
I pressed my lips even more against her warmth and she moaned and soon I found myself curling my hands around her the waist that was covered from her hospital gown.
She moaned and I pressed my tongue into the warmth of her mouth and she moaned again and gripped her hand on my shoulder.
I stroked my tongue around her gums, her teeth, slowly teasing her, until I finally decided to stroke her tongue that was trying all the while trying to tease my tongue.
Her breath came out in measured deep breaths and I felt myself teetering further over the edge and kept on stroking her tongue against mine but eventually released our lips against one another and before she could say anything began trailing soft kisses down the column of her neck that was just as pale as the rest of her skin.
"Anand?" she breathed out deeply.
I continued to spread more kisses down the column of her neck until I reached the neck of her blouse and she immediately gripped my head causing me to stop.
I looked at her and it took everything out of me to concentrate and maintain my normal steady breathing.
"Don't...please..." she said with a worried expression.
I looked at her confused and drew away and smiled at her softly.
I understood why she didn't want me to go any further and I wish I could say it didn't matter but it did to Kittu.
She told me she already had a steady stream of various scars from her previous surgeries and there were some sutures still there from the heart transplant.
Yet the emergency surgery they rushed her into caused them to leave a bigger scar this time around that extended from her upper chest down to underneath near her ribcage that was still encase in sutures and bandages.
"I worried about the other scars of course but no one was going to every see them no matter what. But now with this scar..." She said while sighing softly.
"Its hideous." She said with disgust.
She stared at me as she carefully placed her hands firmly against the front of her gown, holding onto it tight for dear life.
I smiled and instead leaned down where she had her hands and kissed them and slowly loosened her grip on the shirt.
Before she could react and leaned down and kissed her gown, through which the scar was shielded from and continued to drag more gentle kisses across her gown, avoiding her breasts as to prevent her from feeling even more comfortable.
I lifted myself away from her gown and she was staring at me with a blank expression.
"What is this you are not going to argue at me?" I said pouting playfully just to arouse a response from her.
She gave a soft smile but it didn't necessarily reach her eyes.
"You must be tired...do you want me to put you back in your chair?" I asked trying to distract her.
She shook her head.
"To your bed then?" I asked.
She nodded and I kissed her forehead and then maintained a tight grip on her lower back and underneath her thigh as I hefted her up along with me.
I walked over to the bed and placed her gently on top.
I pushed aside the blankets and slowly brought it over her form and covered her with it as I adjusted her pillow.
I sat down next to the chair by her bed and was going to check my phone to see if anyone called until I heard a soft voice.
"Why did you do that?" she asked softly.
I looked up at her but she wasn't looking at me instead was staring at the ceiling.
"Because I wanted to stop you thinking as if a couple of scars will make me think that you are not cute or worse yet as if I would stop seeing you." I said while staring at her.
She stiffened and I hit the nail on coffin.
I chuckled.
"I keep telling you to stop pushing me away. I thought we were way past that in this stage of our relationship." I said softly.
Despite that she was turned away from me, she was blushing and at that I smiled.
"It's easier said than done. I don't want...especially after that close call, I realized I'm being incredibly selfish keeping you with me. It's not fair to..." she stopped as I got up and kissed her to stop her from finishing her statement.
I continued to slide my lips against hers that weren't as cold as before but this time she kept them shut not allowing me to put my tongue into her mouth.
I drew away disappointed.
"If you are selfish that is fine as I'm being the same way. I'm not interested in leaving you you Kittu." I said.
She didn't say anything for a while and I stood in my same position.
She gave out a deep sigh.
"You are an idiot." She said softly.
"It's your fault so take responsibility." I said.
She finally turned her head to look at me and she blushed again.
"Hmph!" she said while pouting and I smiled.
"I love you Kittu. I love you no matter what you may look like or what scar or scars you think makes you look ugly. I love you for you Kittu and you will always remain beautiful in my eyes." I said while bending down and pressing a soft kiss on her face.
She remained silent and this time didn't become fussy.
"You said something..." I said drawing away to stare down at her.
She pouted and looked at me again.
"I said I love you too." She said.
I smiled and this time wrapped my arms around her and she yelped in surprise.
"Hey! What's with all this over emotional theatrics from you?" she said while tugging my arm off around her.
I laughed and she continued to tug my arm until she grew exhausted.
********************
(Five Weeks later...)
"Ma'am...this way please."
I stared back at my father who was busy signing everything, all the paper work and was getting the list of medications that I needed to take to help me further for my recovery.
I gripped my dress as everyone was front in center of the hallway.
All the nurses, patients, and friends that I made over the years I have been in the hospital.
To legitimately say that I was ever going to see a day where I would be the one departing be the one to finally waving everyone goodbye as I headed back home...it was a lie.
The looks on some of the younger children as tears started to fall down their face.
"Kittu!"
"Kitthu." Some said as the tears began to fall down from their face.
My heart was paining; overfilling with sadness and reluctance on leaving.
I dreamed of the day where I was going to finally leave, where I was finally going to start on my life that was sharply disrupted almost 18 years ago when it just began.
Yet I was finally getting that opportunity today and I could barely move my feet towards the entrance.
I stared at everyone who was trying to say goodbye and I saw Anna who was by some of the younger children and she had a smile on her face.
AAHHH!!!!"
Anna stared at me and she smiled as she placed my lunch tray in front of me.
"It seems that you are happy this morning." She said while looking down at me.
"Why wouldn't I be? Finally I can leave this room and finally walk around. What is the point...plus..." I said while looking at her and she arched her eyebrow at me.
"What is with that look? Just ask?" she said while smirking.
"Just admit that you are going to miss me." I said while smiling at her.
She smirked and shook her head.
"Nope! Finally I will be able to concentrate on my job instead of someone who nearly gets me in trouble." She said.
I pouted and frowned a little.
"You aren't going to miss me?" I said while staring at her trying to force tears to almost come out.
Anna rolled her eyes.
"That is not going to work Kittu." She said.
I pouted again and sniffled the tears away and smiled.
"Why are you always so mean to me Anna. I'm going to miss you. Every since I met you two years ago, you have been more than just a nurse to me...you have been my best friend..." I stopped.
Anna had her hands wrapped around me and I starred at the back of her hair startled.
"You are 18 years old Kittu, stop acting like a child. You are too much of a handful, you are smarter than you lead on." She said.
"Anna..." I said.
"Yet, probably that is why I'm going to miss you." She said.
She unwrapped her hands around me and stared back at me as I looked at her speechless and feeling real tears starting to press towards the corner of my eyes.
"In reality Kittu, you remind me of myself. You are smarter than you look but you maintain that level of innocence and silent optimism. I wish nothing bad happens to you, I want to wish you the very best Kittu and hope you find happiness. For a while, I thought it might be wishful thinking that you could ever get better..."
She looked off to the distance and I stared at her as she continued.
"I would be honest with you Kittu, when I was first assigned to you, I never really thought you would make it. I have worked in the hospital for so long. I have worked for so long and seen many people in your shoes and what really have them cave under is their lack of hope. Maybe I'm being preachy but when we already predetermined that we are going to fall that we are going to die, you are just speeding your chances of it happening."
"But then again even wishful thinking isn't the key either. Maybe a realistic balance of both is needed and for some reason when I met you, it seemed like you fell in the latter section. However, after I got to know you and talk to you, it seemed as if you were aware of both..."
She suddenly chuckled.
"Here I hate meaningless chatter and I'm the cause of this one right now. I doubt I'm making any sense..." she said while chuckling to herself.
I smiled at her.
"It's okay Anna, I get what you are saying, there was a time when I was just in denial and had nothing but hope and thought everything was going to go well...after the first transplant...I started to become more realistic. So I understand what you are saying." I said while smiling at her.
She looked at me and she blushed.
"You are embarrassing me, sheesh I can't believe I said all that nonsense...ugh...thank God Anand wasn't here or her would tease me with that forever." She said while chuckling to herself.
I smiled even more until I noticed her expression became serious.
"Kritika."
"Yes?"
"Do your best." She said while smiling.
I stared at her for a while and jumped out of my bed to give her a hug.
"KITTU!!!!!" Anna said shocked.
"I love you Anna!!!!!" I said while having a death grip wrapped around her.
She sighed.
"What am I going to do with you?" she said while smiling.
I smiled and waved back at her.
"Dear, are you ready?" a deep voice said.
I looked towards my dad who was walking towards me and I smiled.
I nodded and he smiled.
"Let's go." He said while flashing a brief smile towards me.
I nodded and he walked in front of me as I turned to follow, regrettably, and made one last look towards the crowd that I was leaving behind probably forever.
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