Take 5:Hilarious 5-29th & 30th april

Originally posted by: rock&roll

😆Hi Guys,

Thank you for all the support yesterday..I felt so much better after talking to you all...All of u helped cheer me up..So here I am to cheer u up 😃..Mom sounds much better today 🤗

YAYYY 🤗

Take 1 :Colours of Love

Shehnaz enters Jo's room riding her usual emotional roller coaster. At any time during a day you would find shehnaz in only one of two emotional states, the depths of misery (sad paagal) or the heights or happiness(happy paagal). Today she is in her happy paagal mode...

In Happy paagal mode Shehnaz laughs for 10 seconds after speaking for 6 seconds.😲.This way she ensures she completely makes no sense and can still say anything she wants to 👍🏼.Briliant strategy⭐️⭐️ .Today she tells Jodha that she has been very very stupid😲😲😲.If Jalal had told this to Jo ,she would have rewarded him by taking the next flight to Timbuktoo thus effectively ensuring that Jalal rides a horse nonstop to Timbuktoo😡😡. But Shehnaz gets a pat on the back for her effort😲. The perks of being called crazy or paagal.😉

lagta hai jalal ko yeh baat pata chal gayi thi iss liye woh waapas pagalkhana bhaag gaya, kyun ki Jo ko pagalon se bohut pyar hai 😆 dekho iss liye jodha bhi ne aaj kaha ki usska 'prem' bohut increase hua hai intensity mein 😆

Encouraged by this appreciation Shehnaz proceeds to ask Jo "Tumhare Mohabbat ka rang pheeka kyon pad gaya

Meaning :why did u get a "Mohabbat" without a colour guarantee.One should always check that the colour of her Mohabbat is fast ,otherwise the colour runs on the first wash(jhagda)of "Mohabbat" making it rather unrecognizable😉😆😆.

Anyone know which place sells colour guarantee mohabbats..Plz order two for me.😆😆😆

the colour guarantee mohabbat is exclusive to Karjat, if you want one, go visit the sets there 😆

Take 2 :The Hidden Man

Not to be outdone in the choices for dialogue of the day Jodha throws in a gem"Hum unke bheetar ke purush ka saamne nahin karna chaahte"..Jodha begum,are you secretly implying that Jalal is not a man on the outside??😡😡I can tell you that IF will implode if people as much as get an inkling of your hidden intentions.😲😲Anyway,never mind..That is for Jalal Crazy IFians to sort out..Mera kaam tha batana...woh maine kar diya

jab dekho excuses 😡 lekin yeh dialogue mein kitne ashobniye implications hai 😆😆

Take 3 :Its Magic

Now if Jodha is a hunar ki khan,shehnaz is a hunar ka kamra.😉.Jalal would've fallen head over heels for her hunar,had he only seen them.Shehnaz can make P.C.Sarkar look like a second std kid performing card tricks.😲😲😲 Shehnaz now proceeds to convert Jodha's dil,Mohabbat and the shehenshah Jalal into a green colour handkerchief and present it to Jodha,all in a magical nano second.😲Now,is what what they call "packing a punch".⭐️⭐️

As u are gasping in awe at this prodigious talent's ability and as Jo is seriously contemplating if it would be in her best interests to let the shehenshah remain as a hanky in her hands, shehnaz moves to part 2.😲Taaliyan👏👏👏,The lady is not done yet...She insists that Jodha smell the hanky henceforth whenever she misses the shehenshah. But hankies are used to clean dirty noses, why use it for smelling?As Jodha smells it and u watch horror struck wondering if the shehhenshah turned handkerchief would now morph into a safety pin for Jodha's saree. the Cvs end the scene and the camera shifts to toy Town.😛Phew...That was close...😔😆😆

a prodigious talent indeed 😆

Take 4 :Toy Town

Mr and Mrs Noddy are discussing important sultanat affairs.Mr Noddy decides to share his troubles with Mrs Noddy and stands up.But at that precise moment the cat gets his tongue and all he can do is move his mouth up and down like a goldfish gasping for air. By some magical intervention Mrs Noddy understands every word of what he was trying to convey and chalks out his strategy for him. Mrs Noddy gets the Take 5 award for being the best mind reader of Agra👏👏👏

Take 5 :Swift Justice:

Jalal is at his kangaroo court again.I am willing to bet that Jalal is a wannabe lawyer who holds kangaroo court proceedings for entertainment. 😆😆Today MA is the accused.Jalal plays the double role of prosecutor and Judge.He brings in witness:1-Dilawar who is asked to stand and stare dumbly at MA for a full two minutes😲😲😲.He is not allowed to speak anything.😡😡 Obviously the staring establishes something,because Jalal wears a triumphant look on his face after DA exits. Next witness plz...Boy,that was fast. ⭐️⭐️

A spy enters the room and MA and Jalal try staring him down.Jalal additionally threatens him with immediate death if he doesn't give an answer that is favourable to Jalal.The spy cracks up and reveals how MA put him in a black box and asked him to lie about Sujamal. 😲😲😲Jalal immediately pronounces MA guilty of conspiracy and of trying to separate Jo and him.😲😲.

If only justice in Indian courts could be like this...Call two witnesses & threaten them and pronounce the accused guilty..The accused will then confess to the crime(since he is anyway going to be punished,he will want the satisfaction of at least gloating before dying) ⭐️..Very very gud idea..let's send it to the Parliament for approval ⭐️⭐️⭐️

why was this sort of proceedings not written down in the constitution, hota toh aaj sabko insaaf milta 😆

Logic:The logical voice of the person viewing the show begs to ask a question here.The spy's statement only proves that MA lied about Sujamal's whereabouts.DA's empty stares proved nothing.Now how is MA suddenly guilty of conspiracy and how is it proved that she knew that a Rajvanshi,let alone Sujamal,entered the palace?But anyway,petty things like logic should not be considered for justice,I guess😆😆

Take 6 :The defence:

Realizing that Jalal will not provide her with a lawyer the shrewd MA becomes her own lawyer.She reminds Jalal of all the things she did for him as a kid "I bought huggies diapers for u,I gave you cerelac,I bought spiderman toys for you, I played ringa ringa roses with you ,I taught you to walk(sorry MA😕,this is a natural process.He would have learnt it anyway).I taught you baa baa black sheep and you are calling me the black sheep?😡 "Running out of points,MA decides to piggy back on Bairam Khan's achievements too "Bairam Khan ne tumhe ghode par ghumaya.He could have been killed for this you know"& U sent him to Mecca without water? Well,Jalal could have sent him to Switzerland if he wanted ,but Bairam Khan might not have been interested you know🤔 .But MA goes on tirelessly" And u are now planning to send me to Mecca without water? "Jalal makes a mental note to give her a bottle of Bisleri water on her next Mecca trip .👏👏

🤣🤣 MA ki maange toh badti ja rahi hai, jab tak bisleri nahi milega woh Mecca mein tapasya nahi karne waali 😆

Rest in PART 2 ..will be posted in another 2-3 hours

Hope u liked it 🤗

Originally posted by: rock&roll

Take :1 Job openings

The scene opens with MA looking like a cross between a vampire,dragon and Dracula.😡😡She glares,stares,hisses and stops short of spitting fire.😆Jalal gives her a long speech about the reason for his judgement and then gives her the ulitiamte sazaa"I will not call u badi ammi".Really..will that even have an impact on her?😕Anyway,the good thing is that this announcement has opened up two new job avenues in recession hit Agra.

it did effect her, despite what she's done and will do, she did have a place for him in her heart, it's just that she loved power more than she loved him

1)Post of badi Ammi is vacant.Anyone with Nirma white clothes,Lakme iconic kajal eyes ,Revlon red colour stay lipstick who can whisper "Mahamangaa""Mahamangaa" every 10 seconds and whose brains are in coma can apply.👍🏼Ability to start hamming at a two second notice is an added advantage.⭐️⭐️ Hating Jodha Begum is a prerequisite for this job.😡

2) Astrologers are required to suggest new names by which Jalal can address Maha Manga.🥳

ruks is about to change her get up to apply for this position 😆

Take 2:Milkman

Jalal is standing at his favourite spot: Near the weighing machine.He is explaining to a stunned Ruqaiyya that he has a doodh ka rishta with MA😲.After scratching her brains Ruqaiyya understands that this means that the same type of Amul double toned milk flows through Jalal and MA's veins.⭐️The problem(as Ruqs sees it)is that if Jalla needs a milk transfusion,he will find it very difficult to get a donor match,coz MA will no longer be available.

😆😆

Take3:Laws of motion

As Ruqs confesses to Jalal that she knew about the Rajvanshi,Jalal pushes Ruqs and she falls on the weighing machine.But Newton's third law says"every action has an equal and opposite reaction"😆😆😆True to this Ruqs bounces back with the same force and reaches Jalal's feet

🤣 this was a sight to see

Take 4:What's my name..What's my name..My name is...

Jalal emotionally confesses to Salima begum that he feels like an orphan.SB takes this literally and asks him"aapka naam kya hai"...😡😡 SB.,for God's sake..that's not what he meant..But SB persists.."What's ur name",she asks."Jalaluddin Mohd",he says sceptically ...Wrong answer she announces😡😡...Jalal who is already feeling low is now on the verge of suicide when he realizes that he has to start from scratch.😲.He has forgotten his name.Shethen grandly announces"Ur name is Shehenshah Jalaluddin Mohd"..Since when did Shehenshah become part of his name?Ruqs looks Jalal thinking"Maine sach bola to dhakka mila..usne itna bada apmaan kiya to use Thank you bol rahe ho"😆

kyun ki SB ne jodhu ka naam liye, aur ruks ne usske against saazish sochi 😆

Take 5:Let's take a break

Jodha is holidaying with Shaguni bai and Ambe Maa in the Alps.Looks like Kanha had to take a month off to go the doctor for a severe and persistent migraine.😆😆😆 Shaguni Bai has brought her hockey stick and worn grandma's overshampooed and underconditioned wig for their holiday👍🏼.She is also wearing a necklace of sea shells that she collected on the beaches of France and Spain.⭐️⭐️ Nice souvenir .She tells Jodha that she will soon have to go to Agra.But she can't go by herself.Ambe Maa wil fix an appointment with Jalal and inform Jodha.👍🏼She just needs to pack and be ready.

🤣 sab log jodha ke liye sochte hai, jodha kabhi bhi aapne se decision nahi leti, aur ek baar liya toh dekho aaj tak jalal pachta raha hai ki ussne jodha pe blind trust kyun nahi kiya ki woh chali gayi 😆

Did you notice???

• SB adds Jo begum's name to every advice she gives to add credibility to it.😉

aaj kal credibility journals aur peer-reviewed articles se nahi milti, jodha ka naam lene se milta hai 😆

• When crying Ruqs start crying,Jalla stops crying too..Nice technique to get him to stop going boo hoo hoo😆😆
• Wise words: In response to Ruqs question of what will happen,SB says "I don't know what will happen in the morning.But this night will be tough for Jalal" Kinda obvious ,ain't it Lady?

every night has been tough for jalal lately

• MA is meditating in a corner and when Adham khan comes in she reacts like Menaka(Adham) has destroyed Vishwamitra's Tapas...😡😡😡