Chapter 29
"We cannot hold Anjali any longer sir given how everything surrounding her is circumstantial and our superiors have let go people with more serious charges." Shukla breaks the twenty minutes silence reigning in the squad car. Keith and Deshmukh are at the station and I want them there to make some sort of connect with Anjali and get her to take a stand. Her silence is wasting everyone's time.
"Its not a good place to be Shukla," I tell him what's bothering me for quite a while. "Anjali was in a bad place after our parents death. Few years later we became practically strangers. My aunt and uncle didn't know how to handle a teenage rebel. But when she surfaced with Shyam, she was a changed woman. Suddenly everything was fine and we became one big happy family. I reconnected with the sister I emotionally lost when my parents died and Shyam was the calming force that kept us all together. Now I wonder how much all of it was true." There is no reason to digress from the issue at hand. But the only family I believed I always had is hanging in a suspension of betrayal.
"I don't Anjali faked everything sir ji. Her affection for you was real. She loves her son the most and which mother doesn't love her child? She may ditch you and Shyam in a heartbeat but she won't ever let anything happen to Arav." Shukla has always been a softie. Though he is few years older than I am, he is one of the few who adds a suffix to "sir" because "sir" doesn't give the respect he thinks my role necessitates. No wonder he is the most I get along with.
"Am I a bad person for using Arav as a bargaining chip? I just used him as a leverage to extract information from his mother." Sometimes the decisions I take make me wonder if I am redefining my sense of morality and the bar is reflexively going lower and lower. He is my nephew and my favorite person in the world. And I used him to get my job done. I should feel sicker but my mind justifies my actions. Greater good, it says. A tiny part of me is relieved with that explanation. But the greater feeling of using a little boy for information settled like a brick under my ribs. Its most unfortunate that the said little boy was away and I have no idea where.
"Arav is safe sir ji and now that's all matters. You did not want to risk Anjali using the very ruse as her get out of jail card. We all know how attached you are to Arav and that could have been our Achilles heel." Shukla tries to rationalize. As if anything in this situation can be rationalized and substantiated effectively. "Who knows where Arav and Shyam are?" Shukla asks belatedly.
I shake my head. "No one knows complete information. A bunch of people involved in making them disappear. A man got them new identities and new history, someone else got them passport, a lady got them bank accounts and stuff; in the end Shyam decided where to go and he told me that he and Arav would be out of country soon. Its best that way, you know?" The solution was similar to a cold war spy movie plot but I cannot deny its effectiveness.
I steal a look at Shukla who is paying attention to the road and his stiff shoulder says something else. He is giving me room to talk so that I don't ask about Khushi. I still don't know what has happened but Shukla insisted we meet her immediately.
"How long are we going to ignore about Khushi, Shukla?" I rub by face with the back of my palm. I am running on pure adrenaline. The crash when it comes will open a floodgate of emotions and I am not sure how long it will take me to recover from.
"Sir ji...few more minutes." Shukla sighs. "Its not I didn't want to tell you. I actually don't know what's wrong. I asked few guys I know to work in ashram to keep an eye on Khushi. Khushi contacted one of them and sent a message through him to meet us here immediately." Only then I realize we aren't going to the ashram but elsewhere. I was so caught up with my thoughts I had no idea Shukla was driving elsewhere. As a cop my behavior disappoints me but I am too tired to care. Besides I trust Shukla. There is a quiver in my heart at that - trust. I am not sure who I can trust anymore. Was Shukla part of the game too? What about others? Were they all strategically placed around my life? It feels a bit narcissistic to presume everything surrounds me. But can one blame me at this point?
"Who are we meeting?" I ask once Shukla hops out of the car and looks around the deserted compound. He checks his cell to confirm meeting place and nods minutely as it reassures him.
The building in front of us has seen better days; now its a blurred reflection of its glorious past. Its an old house I realize slowly with ornate architecture. Too many graffiti, election posters and weariness of time coat the outer surface of the house. Strangely the courtyard is well maintained.
"This safe house was one of the first thing I had to give up to pledge my allegiance." I whirl at the sound of voice coming from the front porch.
"Khushi." Its a statement and I hope my tone conveys everything that's needed to in that one word. In her name. I can hear Shukla echoing the same and he steps back to give Khushi and I space that I didn't know I needed.
"Trouble?" I ask her softly when am only five steps away from her. She shakes her head and makes the rest of the journey in a flurry of silk and hair and rests her head on my shoulder.
"Just...tired," she replies. There are more pressing matters at hand and she seem to realize it quickly. She takes a step back and motions her to come inside. I can hear crunches on gravel and heavy footfall of Shukla close behind. A muscle relaxes in my chest at the notion that Khushi is safe. Or not dead. Yet.
"My community used this house for cleansing purposes. There were times when one or few of the members wanted to get away from everything and undergo detoxing their mind and body. It is fully stocked with the stuff we generally use and is well maintained. Well, was maintained. I pulled some bullshit reason at ashram and told them I needed some "me" time after hanging out with the people. They let me come here." Khushi explained her presence.
"Aren't they monitoring this place?" I ask.
Khushi shrugs. "No. This is a cleansing place so no other eyes on the house. It's not like they trust me or anything and they may be monitoring this place but they already know I invited you here."
"I don't understand. Why would they agree to it?" I have a bad feeling about this.
Khushi offers Shukla and I canned cola and we both take it. I know Khushi isn't stalling but is gathering her thoughts.
"Anjali's arrest is known Arnav. They know she isn't going to give them up. They know she will confess to crime rather than giving up the cult or the actual people behind it. Her lawyer is going to claim insanity plea. They are going to spin Shyam's disappearance attributing to Anjali's insanity. A benefactor will come forward and offer Anjali protected asylum."
"So she will be convicted yet will be set free." I reply. Khushi nods.
"There is no way we can convict any of these people Arnav. We can start the process but it will take years to get to a point to actually make a dent. And in the meantime who are you going to trust?" Khushi sounds tired. I understand what she is implying but what other choice do we have? Ignoring is definitely not an option at this point.
"If it take years then it takes years. I am not giving this up. If you want out, then get out right now Khushi. Once you get neck deep it wouldn't be easy." I don't like my solution but it would keep her safe. This cult has tainted too many people and has taken too many prisoners. I don't want Khushi to end up in its statistics.
"I am not giving this up either Arnav," Khushi says gently. "What am saying is we need to think differently here. There cannot be better lead than Anjali and you are unable to touch her legally. Imagine other players performing much higher role?"
I breathe noisily. I know what Khushi is saying is true. I don't like what she subtly hinting at. I am not sure if I understand it correctly but is she looking at illegal options here? "Tell me if there are any other options Khushi. If there are, I will work on them." I reply, resigned. Its common for us police to get frustrated with bureaucratic red tape and hindrance from people with power. Cleverness lies in bypassing shit storm of nonsense and get the job done. I this case of cult mentality, I am not sure who is on which side.
"I don't think there is anything you can do Arnav." She speaks after a stretch of silence. "Maybe I should do what my people once did hundreds of years ago." She stops at that.
"What?" I ask, alarmed. Shukla and I exchange looks and Khushi is looking at the soft grass on courtyard surrounded by plants. "Khushi?" I call but she isn't paying attention. Her vision is stuck on courtyard and her eyes are narrowed. She is assessing, examining and hypothesizing. Her grim demeanor however tells me that her conclusion is anything but good. It worries me when she refuses to look me in the eye.
"You two should leave. I will call you again when its...time. Okay?" She ushers us out. The area is quiet and there is no noise of, well, anything actually but Khushi is impatient. "I don't have much time. I will contact you again. Its best to let Anjali be. You will ruffle lots of feathers but the retribution will be brutal. It wont be in terms of bodily harm but with paperwork, transfers and such. So choose your fights wisely Arnav. Anjali's punishment is already in progress; she doesn't have her son nor the trust of her family. Its enough to make a person cage themselves. And Arnav," she stops at the end of porch. She cocks her head to Shukla which makes him simply nod and walk towards the gate. She takes several deep breaths and steadies herself. "Don't do anything stupid." She simply says. She leans forward and kisses me making me lose my footing. I regain my balance and hold her close for several minutes.
"Be careful Khushi." That's all I can say once we break apart. She bites her lips and nods but doesn't respond.
My gut tells me something is off about her. She is looking at me as if she is going to miss me which I believe is true to a certain degree but I cannot fathom the sadness set across her mouth. She holds me tight for moments and her grip around my waist is desperate. I don't like the feeling that envelops me. It stinks of bad decisions and good-byes.
"Good bye Arnav." She says stepping back. "I will ask for you soon. Get everyone." She says.
I want to ask what she means by that. But she has completely shut down. She walks away without a backward glance and I just want to run to her and hug her out. She is alone amongst the very people we want to bring down and is dealing with it with the courage not many possess. They won't actively bait her but one wrong move from her, it could go down a downward spiral.
Still...why this bad feeling about what's going to happen next? It's something in the way she looked at me...
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