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One two cha cha cha
lets do marriage ya?
1 vow - I will lust after you, desire for you, ogle you till you sweat, but love? no, no, no.
2 vow - I will never trust you. I will have 5 babies with you, give you power of attorney but trust? no, no, no
3 vow - I will only trust natural inner beauty that comes when no clothes are on. but botox? no, no, no
4 vow - I will disrobe you, undress you, and I don't care if you blush to the roots of your hair. You will chant my name, you will scream, you will moan, I will be very busy, but do I care for you? no, no, no
5 vow - We will do very unique things, lots of experimentation, like you never imagined in your dreams, will we ever be vanilla? no, no, no
6 vow - We will test our endurance, we will make it a marathon sport, we will make it 6 hours straight, because I am just as stubborn as you, will we rest for commercial breaks? no, no, no
7 vow - I will change the definition of happiness for you. You thought biting Imlis is the height of happiness? no, no, no
8th vow - this is Moonchiya Special edition vow. Lets do a ball room dance as I recite this. Here goes...I won't do teri meri prem kahani dance with you and or any towel dance. But do you see my moonch? you will learn the joys of marrying a moonchiya.
Paro, after hearing the list of things she'd have to do after marriage, passes out. Rudra marks his territory with sindoor and goes back to this room to pee, vomit and sprawl on the bed.
KcM thunders that Rudra Paro are so virile, they can get pregnant with just eye consumashuns.
Paro wakes up and is super pissed that she did not get a proper wedding. But she looks very relieved that despite Rudra's redundant objections, she did get married to him. She did get her way. She even smiles when Mythili does the bridal welcoming rituals. Of course, mythili and paro both want to seal the deal before anyone changes their minds. They need each other to commisserate.
Why does the haveli have random candles burning? no wonder the place went up in fire! Paro is fascinated by her grand new entry into the haveli and feels everything looks so rosy and peaches, now that she is a spanking new bride. Moonchiya picks her up in his arms and lays her on the bed. He tries to fish for condoms in the night stand but forgets about it when he happens upon his bottle of liquour. As it would be rude to drink alone, he offers Paro drinks but Paro is worried her consumashuns is quickly going down the drain. So she runs and gets Moonchiya a glass of milk with extra serving of Bournvita in it. Haley mhari ramji, Moonchiya ko doodh pilakar consumasuns ki sakthi dena, bholenath, ma trisula - she prays silently.
Moonchiya's first challenge -
you drink milk, I no booze.
you no drink milk, I booze.
I drink milk, you no booze
I no drink milk, you booze.
The incredulous look on Paro clearly tells me she is lactose intolerant and prone to severe gas and bloating after a good dose of dairy.
Bholenaath, raksa karna dono ki.
Consumashuns ka deepak jaltha rahe
Yahi humari asha
Madira Peekar, ya doodh peekar
bistar pe bedhadak ludakkar,
hosh mein ya behosh hokar
Ek succhay jhanjhod consumashuns ko lekar
deepak jaltha rahe
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Advocate Anjali Awasthi
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