Reliving IPK 189

"The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless..." -- Adele

She wants to hear his heartbeat, wants to feel his presence; that breeze touches her face and silky hair, that dhak-dhak when he is near to her. Why he is missing from her heart? He is there physically but out of her reach. She is in dilemma.

"So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me..." -- Adele

He always wants her with him; in love, in pain... in the same situation. He is a man of no words; he doesn't know how to put his heart in words. He always drags her in the same situation of his so she can understand his feelings. He hurts her most of the time; willingly or unwillingly. A man who was about to say those 3 precious words; was saying loudly from last few days by his actions and expressions, suddenly gets numb.

Originally posted by: KhushiDM

"The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless..." -- Adele

She wants to hear his heartbeat, wants to feel his presence; that breeze touches her face and silky hair, that dhak-dhak when he is near to her. Why he is missing from her heart? He is there physically but out of her reach. She is in dilemma.

"So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me..." -- Adele

He always wants her with him; in love, in pain... in the same situation. He is a man of no words; he doesn't know how to put his heart in words. He always drags her in the same situation of his so she can understand his feelings. He hurts her most of the time; willingly or unwillingly. A man who was about to say those 3 precious words; was saying loudly from last few days by his actions and expressions, suddenly gets numb.

Fabulous Ipoona, ArshiH and IS 👏. Writing for the first time, inspired by you all.

Originally posted by: div26

Lovely posts ladies. Amazing 👏 👏

@ArshiH: Especially liked the Connected dots about the parallel walk from dargha to engagement one in the temple to the walk in the hill and finally this one. Loved it 😊

@Ipoona: No idea how you do it everyday, your posts just get better and better.

These episodes are really heartbreaking. The way Arnav drags her away from everyone without caring about her bruised wrist and again there is no reaction whatsoever from him when she is handing him the thalli. After how close they had become over the last few days, those little gestures hurt even more.

Originally posted by: ArshiHamesha

Episode 189

Pondering Connected Dots: A long awaiting loop is closing here.At Dargha they both are walking parallel in the same direction as chadar is in between em and they have no clue about each other.The Mandir walk, after the bandagement, they are walking parallel in the same direction with distance in between em angry.On the hill walking with Payesh while Payesh in the middle together and they both had the physical distance but with eyes full of longing and yearning for each other.Today they are walking together with hate ,in between guests behind Payesh as a connection but in the same direction because from now on either hate or love they will be together.Must say one couple is walking with love and the other is with hate. How ironic,This parallel walk started with misunderstanding and ended again with misunderstanding...wow ...as this walk from now on will be persecuted...

PONDERING CONNECTED DOTS: 1-A second loop is closing here ...Thaal .. During Teej puja thaal was handed to Arnav by Khushi but with Anjali's permission...and he touched her hands...but he accepted it .Today Buaji is telling Arnav and again Khushi is handing him and he accepted it after the purified moments and under the purified fire...Agni .They both are accepting each other in front of the havan without being aware of it.

2-Another loop is closing,Buaji is the one who gave Khushi's hand in Shyam's and today she is rectifying her mistake by handing over to Arnav ,her rightful owner but at the same time because of Arnav, Khushi ended up in Shyam's hands and today by touching her hands again he is accepting her and rectifying his mistake unintentionally .

Pause here:If you were reading my 7 pheras and all Today Kanyadaan has been done as Buaji gives Khushi's hand in his ,who is holding her.Teej day he asks for her hand from her and today he is accepting it from the elder of Khushi's family but without Khushi's consent...

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Martin Luther King Jr.,

Originally posted by: Ipoona

Episode 189

Tumhari behan Payal

His eyes are catatonically icy ... He does not let his gaze drop for even a second ... She looks at him, confusion ripe in her distressed eyes ... What has happened ? Why is he so angry ... She had tried to smile, but can sense that he is beyond all that ... A kind of of a emotionally dead wintry freeze ...👏 What happened to the man of couple of hours ago ... Who had cocked his head and pointed her to the mirror ... Who had turned back to see her dazed reaction.

The man staring at her is a stranger ... She feels waves of dread wash all over her ... Diwali ... He has done this before ... He had brought her to a beautiful place and then had trashed her ... No ... This cannot be ... He is not that man ... He may not have confessed in words but he has told her over and over again of his feelings ... She has read them in eyes ... She has heard them clearly in his guttural anger ... Has seen them in myriad hues of the bridal bangles he gave her ... She has found the answer to her questions mirrored in his sweetly romantic proposal ...

Her head bent, steps dragging, she is herded by a large group of people moving towards the start of wedding celebrations. She turns her head to see if he too is coming.

A decision reached ... An abrupt, palpitating pick up in pace of activity ... He weaves though the crowd with the lethal precision of a predator ... His strides lighting fast, his moves purposeful abbreviated, he hones in ... His target, a slow moving despondently lone figure, the only thing visible to him in the hodge podge melee of people leisurely streaming towards the Mandap.

He reaches her ... The crowd thins ... They stand side by side. He grabs her wrist ... The same wrist he had carefully bandaged just yesterday, he grabs in a vice like grip and drags her away ... Away from the celebration ...

He pulls her ... She stumbles following him, her shocked gasp do not slow him down. Like a stream being captured by a raging river ... He drags her into his flow ... She struggles, fighting to stay within her shores ... But his current is raging ... It has broken free of its banks ... It flows unchecked, capturing her easily ... She is violently swept away ... Away from her loved ones ... Away from her life ...

Beautiful metaphoric imagery, Ipoona! Loved it!

You are hurting me she cries. She begs, she plead ... It falls on deaf ears. Aap humay yehan quon liyay hai ... She questions, completely heartbroken at the harsh turn her life is taking ... Mein baata hoon, he calmly states.

He believes in what he saw ... He has irrefutable proof ... His eyes cannot lie ... He heard it with his own ears ... Yet what he asks of her, attests only to his inherent belief in her faithfulness ... He directly attacks what he knows is her weakness ... Her love for her adopted family ...

A full circle ... Her Jiji's wedding ... Her first pleas to him ... Humay janay dijiay ... Varna humari Jiji ki shaadi toot jaiagi ... She had begged. He had not relented ... And found out the hard way, she hadn't being lying then. Ironically, this time around he again threatens her with similar catastrophic consequences ... He will stop this wedding ...

He may not stop to question what he now considers indisputable evidence of her betrayal ... But deep down, inherently he still believes in her goodness ... Her intrinsic giving nature. He has no doubt she will do anything for her sister ... Including sacrifice herself. How he can believe this so strongly and yet hold her vitriolically accountable for her seeming betrayal ... This is the struggle that will fog his mind in the months to come.

A very perceptive insight into his painful dilemma in future

He attacks her exactly where he knows she will succumb ... He drags her to face the window ... His hold as bruising on her arm, as are his words on her heart. They look down at the stalled wedding. Tumhari behan Payal ki shaadi tab tak nahin hogi jab tak tum meri baat maan nahin leti. She is left speechless, her eyes flooding with tears, she looks at the unrecognizable man in front of her eyes.

Defeat slumping her shoulders, she arrives at the wedding. He follows a few watchful steps behind. All are perturbed by their disappearance, questions him. Ya, sab theek hai, he assures his brother, but looks at her.

A characteristically tight-lipped response, yet he speaks volumes. At one level, he warns her, Sab theek hai, as long as you capitulate. And Sab theek hai, he says to himself for his Di ... He will make sure ... And finally, for himself he says ... If he shuts his eyes ... If he forgets the last few hours ... Sab theek hai ... Because she has agreed ... Because she is still within reach ... Because he still controls this ... His stomach revolts at the depraved desperation ... the pitiful tenacity of his need of her ... But without her ... 👏

Pharay shoor nahin hua, Khushi asks to divert her Amma's attention from her. Aay liyo, Mamaji chimes in ... Ji kay intazaar mein hum bathay hai, voh hi poochat hai ki pharay hua kay nahin ... He jokes ... All gathered laugh.

Pharay hua kay nahin ... The veracity of this joke, many months from now, will result in the joke losing its humor in its entirety.

Superb connection to Dadi's question later

A beautiful, emotional wedding ceremony begins. The teary bride and the happy groom circle the wedding Mandap amidst Vedic chants ... Promising a lifetime of love and trust.

His stone cold eyes are drilled into her as she tries to maintain a semblance of teary joy, showering her sister and her new brother in law with flowers ... Her eyes are wide with a bewildered hurt. Her unsmiling lips concern her Buaji and Amma, but they assign it quickly to a similar melancholy in their own hearts ... Their loved Payaliy is leaving them.

He may be raging, but he is intently, vigilantly aware of her distress. Her distant, distracted gaze, her flickering eyes, her sad downturn of her usually mobile lips ... He watches in silence. His own inaction unsettle him. He hates his own weakness over it ... It bothers him that her well being can still drag him.

A man who is forcing himself to do what his mind says is necessary, while his heart revolts...seeing them both in this scene was the most heartbreaking for me.

Amidst all this heartbreak ... Another auspicious start ... She picks up the shagun thaal and stand before him. She lifts her eyes and looking directly at him, hands it to him. Their hands meet ... A ephemeral touch, that connects them ... As it had done months ago at Teej. The language their bodies speak is primeval ... It is an age old language of denuded desire ... or naked want ... Even of a withheld solace ... It leaps out of them ... Her eyes fill with her confused hurt heartache. Please talk to me they plead ... Please explain ... His are narrowed incisively, never once leaving her face.

The wedding over, the sisters hug. One not knowing the extent of sacrifice the other is about to be led to. His eyes slide away in a guilt that he is not willing to accept.

The wedding party is otherwise engaged. It is time. She looks at him one last time. A silent, sobbing plea that convulses her throat, trembles her lips. None forthcoming, her eyes fall despairingly to the ground. She starts to walk.

He immediately follows and takes over the lead, waiting for her at the front door. She passes him, her head lowered. He shuts the door after her. It us just the two of them now.

Originally posted by: InspiredSoul

A Castling...

If the love of his life is the beat of his heart, then his sister is the very air he breathes. If his love makes him soar, his sister is the rock that took the strain for his takeoff. For Arnav Singh Raizada, there was never any choice between his Di and Khushi.

And in one fell swoop, Shyam Manohar Jha put Arnav Singh Raizada in a choke hold.

But Arnav Singh Raizada is neither weak, nor is he a coward - he is a strong player who learnt to play the odds. He dared once to take on the world. And very recently, he dared again to unshackle his heart. And today, he would dare again - to defy the fate that threatens to destroy his sister, to defy an enemy who hits below the belt.

On one side he sees his Di, an obviously innocent victim - and on the other side, is standing the adulterer Shyam who disgustingly owns up to infedility. And his love, Khushi, in a very dubious position - The words he heard and the scene he saw putting her irrevocably on Shyam's side...

In the vice grip of betrayal, he made a decision like a chess player - in a quick, castling move, he corralled the king, which is his Di to whom his loyalty is first and foremost promised for. He moved to protect her first. But neither would he let go of Khushi.

Letting her go - throwing her out of his life - would have been an instant painless death for his heart. But he chose to keep her tied to him, and if what Shyam told him about Khushi is true, then it was a tie that would suffocate him, a slow poison that would kill him bit by bit every single moment.

He may tell himself that it is necessary to have Khushi under his control, and so keep reins on Shyam - but the truth is even with a shattered and bruised heart, he still needed to hold on to that last dying ember of hope. He needed to breathe the same air she breathes, see her at dawn and dusk, search her eyes for any vestiges of innocence and love for him and sleep with a sliver of hope that maybe when he wakes up the next day, the pain may lessen by a degree, he may take a few breaths that don't sear his lungs.

He may never admit to it, but Khushi did turn him into a believer - his act of holding onto Khushi was proof that in the middle of all desperate darkness, there was a small twinkling star of hope - hope in life, hope in love, hope in her innocence.

Reeling with shock, his heart and soul imploding with the unbearable loss of love and trust, he picks himself up one more time... And In a move that leaves Khushi's heart broken, his Di shocked, but more importantly that confounds and traps the enemy - Arnav Singh Raizada, the man who is known for his Shaatir Dimaag - makes the game changing move of his life!