Chasing Dreams- Thd7 CHP42, PG 130, Link to THD8 & CHP43, PG143 - Page 70

Hi all, next update will be up by 7pm UK time. See you all soon.

Thank You NB!!!

Happy Birthday Hina aka Ironbutterfly.

Chapter 39, Part B

Three months later-

Khushi had just finished her early morning yoga class. She drank a glass full of water and then proceeded to walk to the parking area to collect her bike to to drive home.

After moving to Lucknow three months ago, she wanted to use her time productively instead of wallowing in self pity while sitting at home. She wanted to do something that would bring her peace and help her stay calm. A friend had recommended the particular yoga class where participants learnt and practised yoga in the midst of a beautiful garden. Khushi quite liked what she heard and she signed up to it immediately and for nearly two and a half months she was practising yoga at the serene place regularly. Along with the yoga classes she had decided to work as a marketing consultant and had already managed to sign up a local boutique store to help them with their their marketing and promotional activities. This helped her pace her work and also allowed her time for herself so that she could heal.

Life hadn't been easy by any stretch of imagination. She was still grieving for the loss of her baby. Very often she would let herself imagine what life would have been if the baby were alive. And those moments she would lock herself out in the terrace of her house as she would shed tears for the little one that had been taken away from her. She would find herself imagining what the baby might have looked like- would she have Arnav's eyes or hers? Khushi was even sure that the baby was a girl. But gradually the frequency of such instances had reduced. Yoga had taught to help channelise her attention and focus on other aspects of life

Leaving Arnav was the biggest and most difficult decision of her life. She missed him every single moment of the last three months. She often wondered if she had done the right thing, if the pain and hurt was worth it. But deep down she knew it was for the best. Arnav and her came from different philosophies. People like them could only co-exist for a short while and never become companions forever, well except in books and movies. The differences between them would mean that their life and relationship would always be a struggle.

Was it worth investing so much in a relationship where the struggles outweigh the happy moments?'

She found herself thinking of Arnav ever so often, wondering what he was up to, how he was holding up. But she knew that he would get over their break-up far more easily than she would. Arnav as a person was someone who found it easy to move from one thing to another. He compartmentalised his life into phases and never held onto one phase once it was over. The very fact that he hadn't reached out to her in three months proved that she was right. But at the same time it also made her upset of the fact that while she had pining away for him, thinking of him, he was probably moving on with his life.

Before she started her bike, she got a call from her father to enquire when she would be home. He seems a little hassled. She ssured him that she would be back in around thirty minutes given the morning traffic.

Her father had been just as she had expected him to be- he was welcoming and forgiving. When she moved to Lucknow after speaking to Arnav, her father opened the door. She had hugged him and he had hugged her in return. Both of them had cried while holding each other. Her grandmother was equally welcoming of her and was glad that Khushi was finally home. But her mother had not extended any such invitation and had stood aloof. Once Khushi had settled down, she had decided to tell her parents everything about her relationship with Arnav without sparing any details. She also told them about her untimely pregnancy and miscarriage. Her father had wept into his palms whereas her mother was furious with her.

Garima had slapped her , How dare you Khushi? Have you no shame? How could you let yourself become pregnant before marriage?' Sashi had to practically restrain her.

Garima had then proceeded to announce that she was going to call Devyani and arranged a wedding at the earliest, given that Khushi had been pregnant with Arnav's child. To Garima it was a straightforward matter, you dont allow men certain liberties before marriage. If you do, you have no choice but to marry them.

I dont want to marry him.' Khushi spoke against her mother's decision which further invited Garima's wrath.

I'm not asking for your opinion. If you can get pregnant with his child you can get married to him too.' She bit out.

'Amma if you call Nani ji, I will leave this house right away.' Garima was once again about to slap Khushi for continuing to argue with her in spite of everything that had happened, when Sashi intervened.

After thinking about everything Khushi had said he had decided that there would be no marriage or no discussions with the Raizadas unless Khushi wanted it. He then also announced that while his daughter had done many bad things and let the family down, she deserved another chance as she has left all of that behind and shared the truth.

Sashi's decision had upset to Garima who then swore to never speak to Khushi. Khushi had made numerable attemptes to pacify her but Garima had remained aloof and never said anything unless she had to pass a sarcastic remark about Khushi.

And to make matters worse, two months later Payal's mother had informed Garima that Payal was pregnant. That along with the news of people starting to gossip about Khushi had made Garima very very upset.

Khushi had been speaking to Payal quite regularly but it looked like Payal had withheld this information as she knew Khushi was still grieving for her child.

Garima had cried on the particular evening when she found out about Payal's prgenancy. That was the first time Garima had left her guards down in front of Khushi.

Do you know how much it hurts me to see that my daughter's life is stuck in a rut like this while girls of her age are all settling into marital bliss?' She had told Khushi.

Amma I'm sorry.' Khushi cried placing her head on her mother's lap.

'Today Payal's mother asked me about you. She told me a few people have started asking her questions about you.'

Amma...' Khushi didn't know what to say. She didn't care for what people talked about her, but she knew it was something that's upset her parents.

Do you know what people are going to say now Khushi? They will hold me responsible. They will say I'm a bad mother, because I couldn't even teach the right values to my daughter.'

Amma I'm so sorry. I will do anything to make things better. Just tell me how.' She had begged her mother.

I dont have an answer Khushi, I don't think I ever will.'

After Khushi had left her room Garima did what she felt she should have done much earlier. Feeling completely helpless and worried for her daughter's future, she placed a call to Devyani.

Khushi called Payal and had congratulated her. I'm sorry Khushi, I didn't mean for you to find out this way. Akaash and I had decided to share this news with you during our next trip to Lucknow. This was unplanned Khushi. We didn't want a child so early. Initially I was very sceptical as this would mean so many changes. But the Akaash has been over the moon and had helped me embrace the news.'

After the call had finished Khushi had walked to the terrace. She was very happy that Payal was pregnant as it would mean that she would soon become an aunt. But on the other hand she was very upset too as it highlighted the mess her life had become.

She couldn't help but think how different her life and relationship had been from Payal's although both of them had fell in love with two brothers. She could understand why her mother was feeling upset, because at that moment even Khushi felt that her life was going nowhere. She sacrificed her career, she had moved cities and her personal life was at a dead-end. And amidst all this she missed the man who she still loved, whom she foolishly still believed in some corner of her heat, would change his mind one day.

Khushi looked at the sky as the sun was about to set. The darkness of the night scared her more at that moment than the promise of a new day.

""""""""""

Once Khushi had shared her decision and broken things off with him, Arnav did what he did so well to overcome his pain- he invested himself completely into his work. He had not been able to give 100% to his work since the accident and the the subsequent changes to his personal life. But now Khushi had left him, he once again decided to divert his life and focus back to his work. He didn't know what else he could do to lessen the pain and move on with his life. He couldn't imagine himself sitting in his flat, analysing how and where things had gone wrong. Nor did he want to open his heart to a close friend or a sibling. So Arnav locked all his feelings, loneliness, hurt, pain and grief somewhere in his heart and worked himself so hard that he was left with no energy or time to think or feel.

He left for a long work trip a week after Khushi had left when it had become obvious that she wasn't going to come back. He traveled to New York, London, Paris, Barcelona, closing deals, meeting prospective buyers, attending trade events and networking. There were days when he felt that he was punishing his body, but he then figured out that this pain was much easier to handle than what he would experience should he were to slow down.

But even in the midst of such busy work life, all it took it took was the smallest of incidents to bring back all the memories. When he was in London and was trying to cross a busy road, he remembered how he had held Khushi's hands and crossed the road to the hotel. And then one day he heard I cant help falling in love with you,' on the radio in a cab and he thought about his first dance with Khushi. And when Akaash had called him to share news of Payal's pregnancy he took a moment to remember Khushi's pregnancy and had genuinely wondered how their life would have changed if not for the miscarriage. But as he had always done, he managed to steer his heart of such thoughts.

He felt he owed this to Khushi. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved her. But the truth of the matter was that he could not offer her things like marriage and children out of will, things that she dreamed off. And Khushi deserved to find someone who believed in such things and loved her in equal measure. So it was only fair that he let her go so that she would find this happiness some day.

One weekend Arnav found himself with nothing to do. Alone in his flat Arnav felt that both his life and his home and his life had become empty. He missed Khushi's presence in both spaces. When the memories of Khushi became over-powering, He did something he had been avoiding all this while. He took out the picture of Khushi taken at Manali with the traditional clothes from his bed side cabinet. He looked at the picture for a while and then hesitantly put it back in its place. He then proceeded to make himself a drink and walked over the balcony. After taking a sip of the drink Arnav asked himself for the first time if he had done a mistake by letting Khushi go.

Was this separation and pain worth it?

What would he lose by marrying her if thats what made Khushi happy?'

Scared with the direction of his thoughts, he decided to pay a visit to his sister and his nephews.

"""""""""""""-

Anjali had still not moved back-in with Shyam and continued to live in her old flat, while Shyam visited regularly to spend time with his sons. Everyone in the family was starting to get restless about their separation. Initially everyone assumed that this was a short term arrangement but Anjali had moved out nearly four months ago. Devyani was very worried about the situation and in spite of her repeated requests to tell her everything Anjali had remained silent. She assured everyone that Shyam and her were working through their issues, albeit at a slow pace. Arnav knew that some serious difference had cropped for Anjali to opt for this prolonged separation, but even he couldn't convince his sister to speak up.

Devyani felt that suddenly her life had become very stressful. She had imagined that after Akaash's wedding she would slow down and enjoy the rest of her life but with Anjlai's marital issues and then Khushi and Arnav's break-up, her happiness was short-lived. When Arnav had told her three months ago that Khushi had decided to leave him, she had been shocked. He simply said that Khushi's parents had found the truth of their relationship and that Khushi didn't want to see him anymore.

Devyani had been furious with her grandson to let Khushi walk away. You should have stopped her. You should have married her. You will have no one in your life when you are old. You are such a fool Arnav.' She berated him which led to a big confrontation between the grandmother and grandson after which they hardly spoke to each other.

"""""""""

After playing with his nephews he managed to put them to bed so that he could give Anjali some time for herself. After that Arnav and Anjali caught up with each other over a cup of tea.

They were sitting in the balcony. Devyani was in the living room as she didn't want anything to do with Arnav and was instead watching something on television. Her phone rang and Devyani reduced the volume to take the call.

""""""-

Anjali did Shyam do something? Please tell us. We are all very worried.' Arnav reasoned with his sister.

Thanks Arnav. But I don't want to share this with anyone. I want to able to make a decision without any influence from anyone. I want to do what is right for myself, for my marriage and my children. So please trust my judgement and give me some time.'

You know Akaash and I will always support you. So dont make a decision under any pressure.'

Anjali smiled at her brother. Thanks Arnav.'

Is the chai any good?' Anjali asked her brother to lighten the mood and to change the topic of discussion

'Its fine.' He took a sip.

Its not as good as the one Khushi makes, right?'

There is no use talking about in Anjali. She isn't here anymore.'

Do you miss her?' Anjali probed.

Yes I do, I miss her like crazy.' Arnav laid out the truth to his sister. Then feeling vulnerable he asked his sister for some reassurance. 'Anjali tell me that this will get better, tell me this pain will go away.'

I cant say that Arnav, not if you really love her as you claim to. But what can definitely say is that you have a solution in hand to overcome this pain.'

And that is...?'

You love her, she loves you, it is simple as that. You want to stay with her, just tie that chain we call a mangal sutra, around her neck.'

Anjali you know thats not possible.'

Everything is possible Arnav. The question is what is more important to you in your life? Your beliefs or Khushi. Because if the answer is Khushi then you know what you have to do.'

Anjali I dont want to bound to someone by the courtesy of a chain and a few papers. What if we experience problems like Shyam and you are facing now.'

Anjali's face fell.

Im sorry I didn't mean to bring that up.' Arnav apologised

Its okay Arnav. No marriage is easy work. There are many ups and downs. But what is constant is a sense of togetherness.'

Do not associate marriage with the societal rituals. Marriage is about love, understanding, sacrifices, compromise, togetherness and companionship. When you have all of that with Khushi already, how will things change by agreeing to a marriage? Think about it Arnav.'

She then added as an after-thought, Beliefs evolve, people change, but only a lucky few can find love like you did. Hold on to what you have Arnav.'

Arnav was influenced by what Anjali said, the way she said it and decided to ponder over her advice.

Just then a fuming Devyani walked in.

Was Khushi bitiya pregnant with your child?'

Arnav and Anjali were both shocked. Arnav because he didn't expect his grandmother to find, Anjali because she had been kept in the dark by her brother.

Nani...' Anjali tried to speak.

Not now Anjali. Let me have this conversation with my grandosn. Is it true that Khushi was pregnant with your child?'

Yes Nani. But unfortunately she suffered a miscarriage' Arnav replied softly, deciding to tell them the entire truth.

Anjali gasped in shock.

Did you ask her to abort the baby?' Nani flinched at her own words. She couldn't fathom how difficult it must have been for Khushi to hear the person she loved the most, utter the very word.

Nani Arnav wouldn't do that.' Anjali tried to speak on behalf of her brother. This earned her a glare from Devyani.

Yes.' Arnav replied trying to remain unaffected.

Nani closed her eyes wondering what more she had to face in her life.

Arnav, I cant believe you did this. How could you do this to Khushi?' Anjali asked in complete disbelief. Her brother was a man of integrity and she assumed that he would never do something like this.

Im not comfortable discussing this anymore. I'm going home.' Arnav increasing uncomfortable with the questioning decided to put an end to it.

Devyani spoke up. I used to hate your beliefs where marriage is concerned. But I still kept quiet because I knew that my grandson might have a different set of beliefs but his value system was still the same. He would never hurt a girl, he will always do the right thing by her. But today, you have let me down completely Arnav.'

Nani what do you want me to do? Khushi knew about me. She realised that we were both not compatible, so she left.'

Nonsense! Even when her parents had confronted you, you told them that marriage was out of the question. How could you do this to her family Arnav?' Devyani snapped. Today she realised that Arnav had crossed all limits of decency and she had to put an end to his charade. And to get her pregnant and ask her to abort the baby...'

Nani that pregnancy wasn't planned it was a mistake.' Arnav explained as a means of justification.

Don't you dare call a baby a mistake. Your parents didn't want any children after Anjali, both you and Akaash were not planned. Thank God your parents never called either of you a mistake, ever.'

Nani I dont see why we are having this conversation. Khushi has left me. We are over.' Anav was getting exasperated by his grandmother's questioning.

No! We are taking the morning flight to Lucknow tomorrow. We will meet with Khushi's family, apologise to them and then find out of they would still approve of a marriage between you two. I want you both to be married at the earliest.' Devyani said decisively.

You cant force me to do any such thing Nani. I'm not fifteen anymore.'

If you are a grown man then act like one. Take responsibility for your actions and do the right thing by Khushi.' Devyani retaliated. When his grandmother was aggravated there was no way one could defeat her in a verbal duel.

Anjali put her hand on Arnav's shoulders. Arnav this isn't correct. She was pregnant with your child. When a woman is ready to even nourish and bring your child into this world, the least you can do is give her the dignity she deserves in this society.'

Anjali is right Arnav. Do you know what people will be talking about Khushi and her family. News travels fast. How did you think I found out?' Devyani added, thereby ensuring that Arnav never found out that it was Garima who had called her.

Arnav please dont do this. Listen to Nani. You said you still love her a lot and that there can be none like her in your life. Just tie the damn mangal sutra around her neck. The implications of you doing nothing will have lasting effects on Khushi's life and future.'

Arnav softened his stance. Anjali I'm not sure about marriage. What if it fails? Why cant anyone see that, when Khushi could?'

Just assume that you arent married to her. Just continue living how you used to be with her.' Anjali tried to reason

Devyani then spoke up. Arnav just think of your parents for a moment. If this happened to Anjali, do you have any idea of how much it would hurt them. Do you want to do the same to Khushi and her parents?'

Nani please you are not making this easy on me.'

Fine, I leave it to you. if you have an ounce of humanity left in you, if you really love Khushi, if you are a man of integrity you will go with me to Lucknow tomorrow. If you don't turn up, I will still travel and I will personally apolise to the Gupta's and Khushi. That's the least they deserve.'

""""""""""""""-

Later that evening Arnav sent a text message to his grandmother. I have booked two tickets on the early morning flight to Lucknow tomorrow. I will pick you up at six. Arnav'

Devyani saw the message and smiled. She then placed a call to Garima after thanking God for finally guiding Arnav to do the the right thing.

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me too..have been stalking for last 15 mins.. ;-) Happy wala update..loved it.. loving Nani. eager to see Kushi's reaction on Arnav willing to marry..she would know its bcos Nani insisted and not bcos he wants to marry her.. still she might marry him as she will do anything to make her parents happy..

😉

Awesome update K!!! Hopefully Arshi will do the right thing and find happiness. Nani was the rockstar of the update today 😊

Chapter 39, Part B, update in Page 97.

B.. Res!


Edited:

This chapter was a drift, to a life that for Khushi is Arnav-less, and For Arnav is Khushi-less.


None had it easy, clearly. For Khushi, i'm glad Shashi was there for her. I can say this for my father too. Fathers always are partial to their daughters and well i understand Garima's resentment too. As a mother, she was worried for her child, her future and society, she has to take care of everything.

It isn't easy to move one. Never is. Especially when you, yourself have not been right, when you've lost life.. A baby, for a girl, as Khushi is, as most of us are, this phase cudn't have been easy.

And Payal's pregnancy, her mother's breakdown.. It brought that all too familiar ache back.


Arnav did try to run away. Drowning himself in work.. He had a way to distract himself, While kHushi faced her reality everyday.
To Arnav things were the reminder of their relationship, to Khushi her body where their baby was.. Was a constant reminder.


Its not about tying a mangalsutra, Arnav is afraid not afraid of commitments as he had said before.. Then why does he not feel like making Khushi his forever? Sharing even his name with her, making her a part of him? Why not?


Devyani had to know and her reaction was expected and justified.

Anjali, as she said, its better she deals with her marriage herself. The more the ears, the more the suggestions, besides its their life, they have to sort it.


I don't think Khushi would agree to marraige easily, even if she does, it'll be for her parents..

The last three updates were very emotional... Since I have no such personal experiences I don't know what to say.. I felt really bad for Khushi and even Arnav. Nobody deserves to go through this kind of pain. But I think it gave Arnav the much needed reality check..
And what Akash told him made perfect sense. That is all Arnav could do for her.And I completely agree with Khushi's reasons for the shift. She really needs a break. And I really wish Khushi happiness in Lucknow.

Wonderful. Hope this meeting bears fruitful results. :)