Madhu's hands shivered as she picked up the divorce papers as well as the letter. Her vision blurred as she read Mr Rishabh Kundra and Mrs Madhubala Rishabh Kundra printed in bold somewhere in the middle of the legalese, which she did not have the courage to read. She slumped to the bed as the realization of what she was holding in her hand hit her. No! she instinctively cried out. Her thoughts ran wild "RK wants to get rid of me. Divorce...is it really really over between us? Do I mean nothing to RK any more, and this marriage...Wait! that can't be true..the letter.."
Madhu forced herself to snap out and hastily opened the letter, but her mind was still reeling in shock and she could barely read.
"Madhu,
I know seeing me again has put you in great deal of pain and reminded you of a misery you had probably gotten over with lots of effort. I am sorry, I wish we didn't run into each other at the hospital in such trying circumstances and I am sorry that you had to suffer my presence and the pain it brought along. Having said that, I have to admit that seeing you again and knowing that you are alive had brought me so much relief and happiness that I cannot express in words. Just for that, I thank destiny. Destiny, which otherwise has been horribly unkind on us.
No, I am not trying to blame destiny for everything I did to you. The way I treated you and the amount you had to suffer because of me, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, much less the woman I loved. I have been a terrible husband - perhaps you expected no different, after all I forced you into this marriage against your will, forced you to care for me, insulted you and your love innumerable times.
I know you do not need me any more - you never really did - and I cannot ruin your life any longer by staying in it against your wishes. I know you have no love left for me inside you, and I can only blame myself for it. I betrayed your trust in me, my love was clearly too shallow and cheap in front of yours and you are absolutely right in demanding your life back. You only have to sign the divorce papers and give them to Bittuji and your freedom will be back to you. I have transferred ..."
Madhu couldn't read any more. Her world crumbled around her, one more time. RK's words shook her to the core, and she screamed in pain. "Rishabh!.." it was like the dams had broken. All the suppressed fears and emotions came out all at once, and Madhu couldn't breathe. She cried out because the papers in her hand represented something that Madhu could not deny any more. Her relationship, her marriage was over. RK was guilty for what he did - clearly she saw it in his eyes since yesterday, but he really did not love her anymore.
"... much less the woman I loved" so not even a residue of love was left between them any more. He was trying to free her, but Madhu's soul writhed in pain at that thought. She still loved him, and in this moment, she could not find any trace of anger and hatred inside her to counteract it. The thought of really losing RK forever paralyzed Madhu and in panic, she picked her phone and called a number she hadn't dialed for almost a year now.
Less than 15 minutes later, RK was at Madhu's door, ringing the doorbell in impatience. When Madhu had called, he was in his car going home, not very far from here, waiting for a decision on his life. Madhu didn't say anything, but listening to her cry uncontrollably on the phone filled him with fear. The thought of Madhu's safety was topmost in his mind, but Bittuji confirmed that he had dropped Madhu at home not very long ago, so RK dashed there as fast as he could.
Madhu opened the door and broke down looking at RK. Seeing her condition, RK's mind blanked out. Involuntarily, he took Madhu in his arms, trying to calm her down. But she was hysterical and RK was worried. "Madhu, madhu, calm down..it's all ok. Everything will be ok"
"Rishu, Rishu..." Madhu was still unable to articulate anything, so RK held her tight in her arms until she became quiet. He saw the papers on the bed and thought that maybe, maybe Madhu was crying for him. That thought went through him like a lightning of hope and he cupped Madhu's face and looked into his eyes. They seemed so pure, and almost unexpectedly, he saw a glimmer of love there. After so long, RK felt alive again. He leaned forward, until his lips touched Madhu's. An electricity that tasted like the elixir of life went through both their bodies. The embrace tightened as the kiss deepened and fueled by each other's passion, both RK and Madhu were lost in the moment.
The effect of that first kiss unleashed a wave of repressed emotions. Tears streamed down both their eyes even as Madhu pulled at RK's hair and hungrily reached out for RK's lips, kissing him again, this time biting his lower lip. RK reciprocated, devouring Madhu. He kissed her all over her face, then on her neck and his hands moved all over her body. Madhu moaned as RK licked her earlobe and went back to sucking her tongue. They fell on the bed, united by their need for each other, their need to fill the void they both had been living with for so many months in each other's absence.
"I love you.." RK whispered as he climbed lower on Madhu, kissing her neck and breasts. He was hungry for his passionate biwi, and her responses were making RK impatient.
"F*ck me. F*ck me so hard I do not ever wake up again. " she moaned with her eyes shut, in another world.
"I am a loser I lost everything. I made everything wrong. I should have stayed, but I ran. I killed our baby. I pushed you away. Because of me my mother is almost dead. I couldn't save our marriage. F*ck me one last time RK so I could really die." Madhu continued.
RK was startled. Madhu blamed herself.
It took a minute or so before the shock of Madhu's words, what she was really feeling, hit RK and he jerked away from Madhu's body. He had thought...he had thought...maybe Madhu decided to give him a second chance, maybe she still loved him and he had a shot at making everything alright again. And then with that look in her eyes, he forgot everything, he stopped thinking and gave in to a primitive impulse that drew him to her. But he was wrong! He had somehow made it worse. He made Madhu blame herself. She wasn't asking for him back in her life. She was treating this as some kind of parting moment.
"No!" he yelled, standing away from bad.
"No...I cannot do this."
RK's shout brought Madhu back to the moment. She had lost all control in her emotions, but the rejection in RK's actions pulled her out of the hysteria and reminded her that he really did believe this was over and it was time Madhu believed it too.
"I cannot do this Madhu. I cannot hurt you any more. Please try to understand..."
"Enough." Madhu yelled, now fully in control. The anger, which she couldn't locate within her only 30 minutes ago, now was in her eyes. "Enough RK. I am sorry. I am sorry I called you here. I lost control. I guess for a few moments I was divorced from reality and you anyways are so good at taking advantage of me when I am vulnerable and waking me up from my dreams. That's what you did 10 months ago, trampling my trust and insulting my love when I was at my weakest. And that's all you did today. But enough. I will not be weak any more. I do not ever want to see you RK and I do not want to hear another word from you. Leave, now, and never ever show me your face."
RK stumbled back, stunned by Madhu's words. All his hoped from a few moments ago were shattered, and he was speechless. What could he say now. No apology would ever be enough. His feet automatically stumbled back towards the door, when Madhu yelled from behind him.
"Stop. Take these!" and she threw the divorce papers she had just signed on RK's face and moments later, shut the door on him.
It was over.
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
