I was not the nicest person especially when I finished the treatment and this time was no less.
I felt so groggy and felt tired everywhere when I first woke up.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to throw up and it was in between this phase that I was scared that I wouldn't be able to hit the call light in enough time or have enough strength to do so before the vomit came out.
"Kittu it seems like you are awake." Anna said.
I stared at her and my eyes narrowed at her sudden intrusion as she opened my curtain only showing my side.
I was able to move more so than before but I was still rendered on the stupid catheter and still needed the respirator and thankfully could remove the feeding tube as it wasn't needed.
My head was beginning to pound severely almost as if someone was using their foot to squeeze the life out of my brain.
It was even worse especially since the lights that were around.
The doctors said it was just a headache and I might feel dizzy and nauseous after these things but it didn't feel like a headache at all.
"Kittu hold still." She said.
I did not because she really said so, more along the line because the pain was too much.
"Are you suffering through pain? You keep closing your eyes as if in pain and your eyes are becoming dilated." She said.
I tried nodding but once again a sharp pain cut through my head and I cried out.
"It's okay Kittu. Don't strain yourself. I will give you an acetaminophen for that. Just rest and don't strain yourself." She said placing a hand on my shoulder.
I carefully nodded my head but that only caused more pain and I had to hold my head, hoping the pain will stop.
I keep forgetting do not shake, do not shake, do not shake.
Another thought came in my head and I wanted to say it before I was dragged under the lure of sleep.
"Anna, you said...earlier...you said you would help me get..." I trailed off.
Anna smiled.
She looked to the right and I couldn't turn my head to follow her line of direction.
"Don't worry about anything Kittu. Just rest." She said smiling.
I groaned and her eyebrow scrunched into concern.
"Is the headache becoming worse? I need to hurry up and make sure you get medicated. It won't help if you start becoming nauseated again and start throwing up like what happened last time." She said.
Before I could ask her anything she left the room and in less than a few minutes later she was offering the medicine to me so I could calm down as I was groaning as the headaches were becoming more intense and were lasting even longer.
The last thing I remembered was Anna dragging the other curtain away before I fell unconscious.
*****************
The next time I woke up the pain was away and I could actually move more of my limbs than before.
I was happy and excited and wanted to pat myself on the back.
"So you finally decided to wake up." A voice said.
It was filled with amusement, warmth, and familiarity that I wasn't prone in hearing but I knew it was him.
I turned to my left and was faced with Anand, who wasn't wearing a discernible expression that was easily readable but his eyes were filled with concern.
His short brown hair was messy but still framed his face perfectly, brown eyes he had a five o'clock shadow marking the weeks he probably went without shaving, a smile that was tugging on his lips but it came out as a scowl.
He was wearing a blue hospital gown that did nothing to hide his muscular frame and I turned away blushing.
After a few seconds I looked back shyly and he was still staring at me and a smile was tugging on his lips.
I smiled at him and I thought more with impulse than my head, that was becoming fully functional, and I rebounded upward on my bed, causing nausea to hit but thankfully no pain.
"Be careful." He said.
I smiled at him.
I noticed that his hands were outstretched and his face was scrunched up in concern.
"Are you this much of a danger to yourself on a daily basis?" he said.
I was able to adjust myself on the bed and turn slightly towards him, well as far as I could without unsettling the catheter that was attached and my IV.
"Hmph! I have you know I'm not this much of a danger to myself." I said while smiling.
"Anyway, this is really unbelievable. You were here the entire time?" I said with my smile growing each second.
Finally a smile came on his lips and he nodded.
"Yep especially to hear you snore while you sleep." He said.
I shook my head.
"There is no way I snore you are imagining things." I said.
"Really? I imagined you making these sounds?" he said.
And he lifted his head back, eyes closed, and began to make a deep sound that was rumbling out as if it was snorting noise.
"I DID NOT MAKE THOSE NOISES!" I said shocked and embarrassed that I might have.
He smiled and laughed.
"I'm serious I don't snore." I said getting less sure of myself.
He continued to laugh.
"How would you know?" Anand said.
I got annoyed and I lifted my pillow and I threw it at him and I wasn't surprised that he was able to catch it in his grasp.
"Because I know. Plus my other roommates never say anything like that." I said folding my hands.
He smiled and he threw the pillow back to me.
"Of course they wouldn't they were being polite to you." He said.
I glanced at him side-eyed.
"You're lying to me to just to rile me up?" I said.
He smiled.
"I have no idea what you are talking about. Just know that you caused others like me sleepless night with your heavy snorting." He said.
My confidence and conviction was wavering and my smiled faltered.
"That...that...that...isn't true." I said.
Tears started to form and I started to sniffle.
His smile slowly wiped away.
"I'm sorry Kittu I was playing..."Anand tried to level.
Instead the waterworks were starting and I could feel a small trail of tears start to fall down my cheek.
"Kittu...I...I...I...I...I...I...I...I didn't...didn't... didn't...didn't...mea..." he was stuttering like a lost fool.
I continued.
And he looked vastly uncomfortable and confused.
"Kittu..I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. I was playing around I didn't mean to play around and didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Anand said even more.
I opened one of my eyes and saw that he was deeply sorry and hurt about his actions and I internally smiled.
I continued to sniffle for a few seconds to draw out more of the effect and then I let my hands fall on my lap.
"If you are really sorry than I guess I can forgive you." I said.
I wiped away my tears and I looked at him and it took everything within me not to smile or laugh.
"I'm sorry Kittu. Seriously." Anand said.
If I was going to smile before the thought was wiped away from my mind as I saw the serious expression and something more in his eyes.
Before I could say anything he put his hands on his ears and began tugging on them.
He looked uncomfortable but the expression never left his eyes.
"I'm sorry Kittu." He said slightly blushing.
He continued and I smiled and started to blush when he kept staring at me.
"Please stop. It's okay Anand." I said smiling at him.
He was still tugging his ears and I smiled and put my hands up.
"Its okay Anand. You don't have to do that." I said.
He gauged my reaction and it seemed to suffice as he removed his hands from his ears.
"I'm sorry Kittu." He said.
I shook my head.
"Is that all I'm going to hear is sorry, sorry, sorry? Never mind all that. You are forgiven." I said.
Guilt pang at my fake tears but it was kind of worth it to see this side of him.
"So what you were doing while I was "snoring"." I said emphasizing the snoring.
Guilt showed on his face but he smile.
"You don't have to worry my sister made sure to bother me daily." Although he said there was nothing hiding the smile and obvious adoration he had mentioning his sister.
I smiled.
"Shraddha is it? I wish I had time to talk to her last time I saw her but..." I trailed off.
He smiled and his expression turned wary.
"Ask." I said while smiling.
He looked startled.
"Huh?" he said.
"Ask. You have a question, you can ask? I'm not going anywhere." I said while smiling.
He smiled as well.
I was getting too use to him and his smile...
"Do you have siblings? Mind you, you don't have to ask as that is way too personal." He said double tracking his statement.
I smiled.
"Don't think it's too personal. We are friends and you shared something so I won't mind sharing something as well. I have an older brother around your age but he just turned 20 years old." I said smiling.
"Is he here in India right now?" Anand asked.
I smiled at him and shook my head.
"No, he is currently studying in America, in Massachusetts for college." I said sadly.
I missed Kunal.
It been a good three months the last time since he was able to come back to India for his summer vacation.
"Do you miss him?" he said.
I shook my head and a said smile played on my lips.
"Of course I do. He was always spoiling me rotten." I said laughing.
He smiled.
"What about your mother and father?" he said.
At that I froze.
It was an innocent question but my heart dropped.
I shook my head.
"My dad is usually busy working but he drops by from time to time but my mother..." I trailed off.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked something so personal." He said apologetically.
"No its okay. I only seen your sister but do you have other siblings?" I said changing the subject towards him.
He smiled.
"I'm the oldest, Shraddha is 14, and I have two brothers, one that is 10 and the other whose six years old." He said smiling.
I stared at him as he was recalling his family and my heart pang in jealousy.
I saw his mother and father on one occasion and they looked like such a loving couple.
There were no words exchanged between the two except for the subtle eye exchanges; Anand's mother calmly placing her hands on his father's shoulder to placate him when he was worried about Anand's condition, his father smiling and making a simple expression that caused his mother to smile.
It seemed like such a warm family and I was kind of envious of the closeness and the openness.
It wasn't the same between my mother and father.
After my biological mother passed away after I was barely three months old, my father remarried when I was four and Kunal was eight.
I was in the hospital throughout at the time due to my heart condition and I only got the overall scheme of things and how my mother, or rather Kamini she stressed that I call her, met and fell in love.
I thought it was a great thing as I never had a mother and I thought I could call her mother except when I actually did she just looked at me with disgust.
Of course when my dad was around and she would put on her sweet loving, innocent, and carrying mother image to gain my dad's good graces but apart from that it didn't take an idiot to know that she didn't like me.
That dislike didn't extend towards Kunal of course or how own daughter, Jaya, but I didn't understand...
I sighed and looked at Anand who was looking at me confused.
I smiled.
"That is so cute. You're the oldest, the big brother, and protector." I said while pressing my hands on my cheek while smiling.
He smiled.
"Not that they listened to me. It seems like every time one of them get hurt, especially Shraddha, I'm the one that gets blamed. I even got yelled at for making Shraddha chase me down." He said pouting.
I smiled and saw that he was flushing in irritation.
"Of course you would get blamed and yelled at. You were hiding from your surgery and let your younger sister roam the hospital all by herself." I said.
"Don't do that. Shraddha is smarter than she seems and she knows how to take care of herself. Plus I wasn't hiding." He said.
I shook my head.
"Last time I checked you were hiding. Look now that you underwent it, it wasn't so bad was it?" I said.
He pointed at his stomach that had the gastric tube streaming out from the side.
"Oh hosh-posh." I said.
He crooked an eyebrow upward confused.
I ignored him.
"You are over the worst of it. Before you were on a respirator and kept on..." I caught myself and turned to see Anand smiling, and this time it went into his eyes and throughout his body.
"Why did you stop Kittu, continue. You said I was on a respirator...I wonder how did you know about all of this?" he said sweetly, a little bit too sweetly.
"I mean you must have been on a respirator seeing as you had surgery." I said trying to maintain a neutral expression.
"No Kittu but you said I was over the worst of it? Worst of what?" he said.
I looked at him and he was smiling and there was fire in his eyes.
I blushed and looked away.
"Nothing!" I said.
I lean back down on my bed, stuffing the pillow underneath, and ignoring Anand's calls while my cheeks were flushing a deep red and my heart started beeping rapidly.
I pressed my hand on my heart in concern...
"Kittu it's not good to ignore your friend." Anand said teasingly.
My heart picked up even more.
I placed my hand over my heart and I smiled even more.
It's because of him...
**************
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