Posted:
Considering that we the citizens of IF are the ones most concerned for the welfare of Paro and have pretty much adopted her, it is imperative that we as the responsible guardians for Paro lay down the rules that Rudra and the jallad family must follow when our beloved Paro moves into the Jallad ki Haveli.
A pre-nup for this not-so married couple, if I could call it.
Here are what I want:
1. Teen wakth ka khana clause- It shall be ensured that Paro takes 3 full meals everyday, with or without her consent. It shall be the responsibility of Major-sa to make sure this happens. The said meals should have adequate carbohydrates so Paro remains conscious for as much as she can manage, but not include excess fats that can affect the sexy kamariya. The snacks in between the meals, however, are negotiable.
Sub-clause (a)
Originally posted by: kalapana_kmk
paro's daily does of imli & namak 'alag se' & everyday chit with Rukmini.
Sub clause (b)
Major sa SHALL NOT feed Paro the jali hui rotis that he gives his baapusa. PWA has decided to sponsor cooking classes for Major-sa to ensure Paro's nutrition, as Paro cannot cook owing to her fire-cum-BSD phobia. Paro's already precarious health cannot be endangered further by this. (Originally suggested by DoJin)
2. The clothing clause- It shall be the Major-sa's responsibility to ensure Paro gets outs of the stinky red lehenga as soon as possible, although this does mean he get her out of it himself.
In addition Paro must have a new lehenga every third episode and the said lehengas must ensure adequte screen space for the delectable waist. The duppatta and and its size, however are negotiable.
3.The TRP clause-
Sub-clause (a) No matter what the god-forsaken TRP is, Paro shall not be involved in kitchen politics with the jallad chachi.. Occasionally helping out the tortured bhabhi however is allowed.
Sub-clause (b) Paro will not be made to shed tears in excess of her oral fluid intake.
Sub- clause (c) Paro shall not be involved in any challenges concerning matkis (broken/intact), rotis (with/without rotimaker) or the like. Sub- sub clauses to this may be added at a later date.
4. The physical proximity clause- Citizens of IF would ideally like consummation to happen right after griha-pravesh, but owing to script and TRP factors we agree to a minimum of once weekly falling into the arms, twice weekly hugs, daily grabbing of arms and intermittent exchange of fluids (any type).
Subclause on popular demand-
Physical proximity clause can include intermittent interactions between Majorsa and members of the PARO WELFARE ASSOCIATION 😳
But only with Paro's consent To ensure that Major-sa is physically fit and regular feedback is provided for him to fulfill the clause with Paro-sa to the best of his capabilities😳😳
5.The Laila clause- Visits to Leela must be kept to a minimum and in such a way as to not cause any inconvenience to Paro or endanger her life in any way. Paro reserves the right to revoke Clause 4 (the physical proximity clause) in event of violation of the Laila clause by the Major.
It is also proposed to convene aPARO WELFARE ASSOCIATION, to monitor if these rules are follwed and the President and Secretary of PWA shall decide the action to be taken if the rules are violated.
Additions/ Corrections/ Deletions to the agreement are welcome .😃
6.
Originally posted by: geetababyrads
daily outings from the mad house as lack of Vitamin D will lead to more problems for Paro.😆
These outings shall be in an explosion proof vehicle as Rudra's vehicles have a terrible past history of going up in flames. The choice of seats is negotiable.
7. Paro education clause
clause for a tutor for Paro asap: didn't she admit to having a 5th grade education? A tutor and English lessons is a must.
Otherwise, Rudra's : " I love you dammit" will have fall on deaf ears.😆
Subcluase (a) Sax education clause-
Major-sa shall ensure Paro acquires proper knowledges of the butterflies and bees prior to consummashun. The members of IF Paro welfare are willing to help in this although the ultimate responsibility rests with Major-sa. Any mistakes in this may be corrected by sending Paro to IF.
Paro shall speak in shuddh hindi or if possible in english (for the sake of phoren audience) before, during and after consummashun. Rest of the time she is allowed to speak if and what she likes. Major-sa shall ensure Paro learns sufficient languages for this..
8.
What about the EdwardCullen clause? This one's more for the writers.😆
Under no circumstance should the MajorSa be reduced to a sparkly vampire! He can only stare at her while she is awake., if need be😆 as if.😛It's seriously creepy otherwise.
9. Paro's employment clause-
Originally posted by: Newbiesoapfan
Will Paro sa get a sewing machine ? That's the only way she is going to get out of that stinky lehnga!!
Paro shall be allowed to be gainfully employed during the time she is conscious and Major-sa shall ensure necessary requirements like sewing machine or jalebi ingredients if she has a flash back to her previous janm. Paro shall ensure that this does not violate clauses 1 or 4.
10.THE BHAI-SA CLAUSE
Originally posted by: JazzyMohd
clause on meeting aman bro too 😆
Paro shall not be allowed to meet any of her family from Birpur for her own safety reasons, but shall be allowed to meet Aman bhai-sa as long as that does not violate the physical proximity clause. They shall get the entire day off on Rakshabandhan.
Originally posted by: napstermonster
The Provision of the Platonic, loving, non-related Bhaiya clause:
Paro has lost her own cousin to "Saradh Paar" and Rudra has apparently terrible cousins who have to be awful since their mother makes them bash up masala all day. However, Major Saab has...Aman! Aman must be offered to Paro before 2014's Raksha Bhandhan to assume all Bhaiya related responsibilties for Paro. Major Saab will make this happen. Aman will sign an agreement that lays out his roles.
These include, but are not limited to:
(a) protecting Major Saab during all missions to ensure Behen ke Ghaar stays Ujala
(b) Disapproving of Major Saab's overly crazy actions in relation to Paro.
(c) Dissapearing during Major Saab's overly passionate actions in relation to Paro
(c) Providing protection from Major Saab's anger as he stops Paro's many upcoming dumbass attempts to escape.
(d)Speaking sternly to Paro to clear misunderwears, ensuring she sees Major Saab as a human being at the earliest opportunity.
(e) Taking the Laila bullet on his own chaddhi as needed, and allowing Laila to fall on HIS sword, thus keeping his word regarding clause (a)
11. The language clause-
Paro bhaisa shall forego the heavy rajasthani dialect to a more appreciative language when she woos major sa
P.S. South Indian accent is not allowed any time during consummashun.
12.The Fire Clause-
Originally posted by: Shweta1691
No fire(actual fire 😉) within 20 feet of Baisa...for this reason she will not enter kitchen to cook also...and before the saat pheras happens Majorsa should do something about this phobia of hers.
This shall imply that Major-sa or his bhabhi sa shall ensure that all parathas either turn themselves over on their own or someone else doing it,without scaring Paro. Also Paro shall not be responsible for any fires set off while she has flash backs of BSD.
13. The name clause- Paro and Major-sa shall come to a conclusion regarding what they will address each other as. As both of them appear incapable of using better endearments other than rakshas/jallad/aurath/suspect/witness, the PWA suggests uses of first names for the time being till a conclusion can be reached or better endearments are decided on. (Originally suggested by Shweta1691)
P.S.- Rudra shall not in any event call Paro as Mhari Parvati!!
14. The Nightmares Clause- (Credit- Shweta1691)
Major-sa shall administer adequate TLC whenever Paro has nightmares but without scaring her. The Laila clause shall stand suspended in event of a nightmare and Major-sa is allowed unlimited physical proximity rights for the same. Also, Aman bhaisa shall not indulge in voyeuristic activities of the same.
15. The NO RECKLESSNESS Clause- (Credit- DoJin)
As Major-sa is now responsible for Paro welfare he is hereby forbidden to go on reckless missions / killing sprees after listening to Lata Mangeshkar's patriotic songs or any patriotic song ever sung without considering the future of Paro. If he does go on any BSD missions he is required to take Aman along to keep a cool head and so that Aman can report any violations ofthe agreement to Paro behen-sa.
Major sa is also forbidden to go on killing sprees after listening to Lata Mangeshkar's patriotic songs or any patriotic song ever sung...BSD can't go doing cover-ups whenever Lataji croons vande matram and Majorsa turns into an angry hulk and annihilates everyone...
that will avoid this whole only witness/suspect trouble in the future.
16. The Fainting Clause- Major-sa is required to be around to catch Paro everytime she faints irrespective of the time, place or cause. In his absence he should make sure Paro is wearing a helmet before fainting to avoid head injury. (Credit- .Chancan. Nelo baisa)
Originally posted by: .Chanchan.
- Since he made the girl run so much for so many days without food, he will have to massage her hand and legs every day twice -otherwise the he will lose his position as the major.
- Paro should be allowed to shoot (dishkiyaun) one new picture of ThakurSa everyday
- If Paro is bored, Rudra should offer her raw eggs to break them on his head
- If Paro doesn't like someone at home, that person should be made to sit in the fridge for 3 hours.
- If chachisa taunts Paro, Rudra should throw red chilli powder in her mouth and on her eyes.
17.
IMPORTANT NOTE TO EVERYONE:
Originally posted by: sarahehsan
Under no circumstances is Rudra allowed to say : 'Get out/mujhe tumhari shakal nahin dekhni naa hi tumse koi baat karni hai/I hate you/mujhe koi farq nahin padhta/so on.. 'to Paro! He should strictly be himself and not try to be like Paro's pichhle janam ka pati! 😉 😆 They both should be one of their own kinds! 😛
IMPORTANT NOTE TO EVERYONE:
Punishment for Paro's offenders- It will be Rudra Sa's responsibility from now on to make sure no one insults Paro in that Jallad haveli and if anyone does, then he should spit on his/her face 6 times for 3 days (every morning) before brushing. Rudra should make sure his spit is dirty and stinks.
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