MehBeer OS|| Believe me, I am broken too

BACKGROUND OF THE STORY:

Abeer goes to Meher's house to tell Akshat's secret to Meher about his child. Meher shouts at him and tells him she knows about him. She makes him remember that he said he won't disturb her, if he is not able to prove akshat wrong.

Dear Abeer

I am sorry i broke your heart again. I insulted you again. I know you love me a lot. I love you too. But i can't afford to show my love to you anymore. I am afraid Abeer. Afraid that you will hurt me again. I won't be able to take a heartbreak again. I will die. I know you are hurt. I don't want to hurt you Abeer. Believe me, i am broken too. I know you are trying hard to mend our differences. But you can't do that. I won't let that happen again. We aren't meant to be Abeer. You will hurt yourself even more. And i won't be able to see you like that. Stop fighting for our love Abeer, you will get nothing. I know you are guilty. You shouldn't be. You were not the only one at fault. It was my fault too. I could have cleared your misunderstandings, but didn't. I gave up on us a little too early. I always knew you were impulsive, immature, But i loved you like that. Then how could i expect you to change so soon? I am sorry Abeer. I know i hurt you, blame you, insult you every time. But believe me, i am broken too. Every harsh word i say to you, pierces my heart before it even reaches you. I don't want to do that Abeer.. but i am scared. I am scared that you break all the walls around my heart, and make your place there again. I can't let that happen again.

Why are you doing all this to yourself Abeer? You hurt yourself every time. Your tears make me weak. I see the regret in your eyes. Believe me, i am broken too. Everytime i see you crying, my heart shatters into pieces. But i can't do anything about it. If i console you, you will hope for our future. But there is no future for us. Why do you drink so much Abeer? A part of me dies every time i see you drunk. I want to stop you. But then, i have no right to do that. You are no more mine. I wish i could just come and snatch away that bottle from you. But i don't have that courage.

I shout at you everytime, but you dont care. You take all my harshness with a smile. They say you were not the perfect one for me. I never wanted a perfect man Abeer. I wanted you, your love, your care. But you couldn't keep your promises. You broke my heart. All these years, did you ever wanted to know how i was? Did you miss me? I did. You say i never cleared your misunderstandings, I wanted you to understand me. You didn't listen to me even once.I hated you for this.

How much i try to show to the world, I am not strong Abeer. You were my pillar of strength. But now i don't have you. I am dying every moment. And now, i don't even have the courage to face you. You are still unknown to the secret i have kept all these years. I don't know how you will react. I don't how i will stop my tears when i see you next time. I know no one can love me like you do. Believe me, i love you too. But i have given up on our relationship long back. Now i can't risk making relations again.I know you are trying to change yourself for me. I never wanted to change you Abeer. I just wanted you to be a little responsible. But now i hope you move on. I hope you get over me. I hope you have a bright future ahead. I hope you forget there was once a Meher in your life.

Meher