Originally posted by: tejaswiniwenham
Hi, I just read your post, it's nice that the forum is giving us all a space to kinda share our stories. You know I do understand this story, I haven't been through it per say, but I am the first hand witness of a divorced couple. My parents met at college in the UK, my aai was a hippie I wanna save the world rich kid from Mumbai and my dad was an English investment banking enthusiast. They disagreed about everything but loved each other a lot. My daddy kept aai focused on a constructive path to fulfill her goals and my aai kept my dad grounded. They fought and they made up, whirl wind relationship. They were together for a few years before my azuba started looking for rishtas for my aai. They always knew their thing had no future cos my aai's future was in Mumbai, more specifically in a karada Brahmin household, her baba would accept no less. But when push came to shove she couldn't do it, she couldn't leave my father so instead she told my azuba that she wouldn't marry daddy till he was ok with it, my azuba was like- so never. Then my aai got pregnant and decided to marry daddy anyways. Everything is fine and peachy but the problem is that you can't really have a hot and cold relationship once you got kids. Firstly cos you don't have the TIME to fight and then patch up constantly, it's usually one or the other, especially if both parents have demanding high stress careers. Their fighting was the way they communicated and let out things. It was unhealthy as hell and it started to take a toll on me, I began to run away from home then I took my little brother with me, my daddy freaked, they blamed each other for all sorts of things, my aai judged everything that dad did, and daddy couldn't understand why she couldn't do a 9-5 and care for us the rest of the time and why every other social work came before her family. Shit got real and aai decided that for us it'd be better if they split. They loved each other and this was how they loved and communicated but she didn't wanna keep putting us in the middle. My dad couldn't accept her decision but had no choice. they had a bitter divorce and unfortunately the decision my aai took for our sake didn't work out as well cos my dad's anger at her channeled into me. My brother was only 5 so it didn't affect him, the decision was right and his normalcy is the proof. It took me years to understand her decision. My father married 5 times, non lasted past a year. I asked him why he didn't just not marry again and he said cos he wanted his family back. He realized when I had my first kid that his family was always there just not the family he'd imagined as a young person. My parents stayed with each through their lives, whenever my mother needed career advice she went to dad, whenever he was making a mistake intentionally she's the first person he calls, just to get a rise out of her. My mother was recently diagnosed with a rare form of dementia, she's loosing her memories. My father was there through the diagnosis and he's been taking care of her since. He made a lot of money and retired very early on, thought he'd spend the second half in some European island with new women but instead he's taking care of his ex wife. Noone questioned why, we've all known they love each other. It's just that neither want to admit that all those years ago they were both wrong and that's what ruined their relationship, not because of aai or dad, but because of them. Instead of explaining to my dad why she wanted to separate and my dad never really asked why, just demanded that she stay with him. All my life I rolled my eyes at their immaturity, lashed out at their carelessness and laughed at their antics. But now that I have children I kinda understand why they did what they did, both my aai and dad. So I can see where they're both coming from in a sense, I can sense that they both have their reasons. If not children then something else, but if meher has her reason to want to sign abeer's pay check then abeer also probs has a reason to want to hurt her, they're both hurt, for meher the memories pain, for abeer seeing her in front of him hurts. We don't know his reasons, we know a bit of hers. I don't know why your divorce happened, but if the love is still there then clearly the memories are happy and sad, the best way to honor those memories are to really be happy and live your life and keep moving forward, honor the reason you separated. For my mother it was more stability for her kids, it may not have worked as well for me till much later but she succeeded with my brother. my dad honored her desire by giving her the joint front she needed as parents to give us that stability. And now that we're adults, they finally are at the turn to have whatever relationship they want (to my brothers great dislike, he doesn't really remember them together and finds it weird now). That's their light at the end of the tunnel I guess.
Shiv Shakti
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Hindi TV Shows
