Ok so let me just say that in all my time at indiaforums I've never felt the absolute need and urge to comment on something, especially if its writing because I am hardly ever impressed or even pleased for that matter. And I don't just compliment anyone.
Sit back, this is going to be a looong comment.
This was...AMAZING. ⭐️
Actually, it was so good I can't even think of a fitting adjective for it. Especially the way you wrote Meher's bit, I could really feel what she was feeling.
Being a writer myself, I truly believe it's harder to write a short good piece than your everyday longer one. I also loved how you displayed Abeer's regret, without overdoing the drama or the sarcasm.
I got so much more out of the characters than what I was expecting. Honestly, I thought this was going to be an amateur "mature" OS 😆 but I was scrounging through them all to find something I liked and this was definitely well worth my while.
I found the Superman-kryptonite reference funny and sad at the same time, and the little bit on word...what do I even say? I LOVE how you used the portion to convey her pain. And basically what compelled me to put aside my "will be a ghost on this forum stance" was the way you captured the melancholy of heartbreak and being hurt by someone you love.
This whole OS was just a reflection of human emotion, something you really seem to understand and know how to portray without unnecessary amplification. Like it never felt noisy or overindulgent but still hit home in the heart, making me genuinely feel something. I don't know if that makes sense. I actually was moved by this OS, and nothing really gets a reaction out of me. It's probably the way you crafted it so perfectly. And kudos to your creativity for writing in the perspective of time.
My favorite line was:
Bottoms up! Or bowls clean? At this point do I really even care?
so subtle yet so powerful, i felt her trying so hard to be happy and fight self-pity. we've all been there haven't we?
And the end! "It was nothing but a matter of conviction!" He confessed in a way only she would understand. I absolutely loved it. The poem was beautiful too. I don't know what "bittersweet memory" prompted you to write it, but the way you wrote this OS makes me feel like you know what it's like to have a broken heart.
I could go on and on about all the things I loved about this OS but then I'd be listing everything. I think that's just testimony to your talent and your skill to be able to utilize that talent so perfectly. I'm sorry if I went overboard but this was just amazing and I need you to know that.
Please let me know when you write more, I would love to read more from you.
-Shweta ❤️
Edit: Also, check your inbox. 😃
Edited by -ShwSha- - 10 years ago
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