Which is more important - Page 7

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000

The reason i explained the past of Onir point was because it was brought up in this thread and i felt that it was accepted as a reason for getting out of the marraige by Purvi in the Purvi Onir marraige .

So i gave my opinion about how the past point was irrelevant .

But rayadallie i will now give a direct answer if u wish to ur direct and simple question .

If u fall in love and have the fortune to marry that very person , good for u .

If u get married to another person u can get out till children have not come in the picture if u feel that i just cannot forget the ex

But if children come in the picture , they have to be given priority than any personal feeling of 'love'

Children r a stamp or seal on the institution of marraige .

It then becomes a question of priorities . Children or love ?

Children , as they have a full life ahead of them and they did not ask to come in the world .

For them , one has to make the marraige work . There r no two ways about it .

One cannot go on fretting about past 'love' and break up marraige up for it ...it means you are giving priority to your personal feelings and not giving priority to life of children . It is a selfish act .

This pampering of your emotions even above little children is what i find as extremely spoilt behaviour .

If u put ur mind to it u can make ur marraige a success . U can love again . Love can be controlled , love can be channelised wisely .

The excuse for the divorce given is unhappy environment for children .

It seems this environment is there in the Arjun Ovi marraige . And it seems it will be very unhealthy for a child .

Well who has made the marraige unhappy by just not accepting Ovi ???

The problem is not from her side . She is ready to be a good wife , is a good bahu to his father and has no problems with him , she is ready to love him and make him happy .

It is he who is just not ready to give her a chance .

It is not even as if the wife is ugly or something . That he has to swallow it and make a big adjustment . Ovi is beautiful . She is ready to make any adjustment for him , she even wore a sari simply as he brought it though she wears dresses .

All she wants is a little love and a chance which he is just not ready to give .

He makes faces like he is swallowing bitter medicene and says 'yeah' with pained eyes .

How ridiculous , immature and spoilt is this decision of just not giving marraige a chance even when children come in the picture . Even when the wife is ready and willing .

Why go far . See Onir . That marraige is a success and has a loving environment for a child coz he is determined to make it a success . He is determined to give the child a loving environment . That marraige is a success bcoz of him , not bcoz of Purvi and her tyaags .

See Arjun . Onir is determined to make his marraige a success inspite of the child being not his own ...he is determined to do this as he believes that no child deserves an unhappy upbringing . But Arjun is not ready to make any adjustment emotionally even for the sake of his own blood . Constantly with his pained eyes and sighs and dialogues that he can love only the mother of his child and that he is doing a husband's duty by giving wife the necessities like food , shelter and clothing he gives his wife and marraige the message that love is even more important than children ...one must hang on to the memories for life [ whereas in Jab We Met it was shown it is best flushed down the toilet] he is obstinate about not making his marraige a success .

This obstinacy is hailed as love and applauded and it seems one must be even more obstinate and break up a marraige ...the excuse now being the happiness of the children

Children require stability ...first criteria of their happiness . Broken marraiges and destruction of their stability is not giving them this environment and if the adults need to put a lid on their feelings and grow up , they should .

Anything else is unacceptable .

Love stories on graves of children are the worst examples of spoilt behaviour .

Kool, I agree with you.

Besides, why is the assumption being made that Ovi can't be an excellent mother, why can't the Cvs excel Ovi's character, there is already indications that Ovi responds well to Arjun's attention.

And btw, if divorce does happen and Arjun/Purvi married, what will the child grow up thinking of Arjun, the father – both kids. That dad left one child's mother to marry a mausi – what kind of the 'feeling' of abandonment will this lead to in the child. And the other child will know that he was illegitimate to begin with and to give him name, his dad left his mausi and his cousin – well, how will both kids feel in reality – definitely not love for their bio father…. are we saying anything is acceptable as long as Arjun Purvi unites...

Well, no matter how much Onir cares or loves Purviz child , it will never be able to match up the love Arjun will have for this child... He is its father after all...
And frankly i think if Purvi and Arjun decide to stay and make it work with their better halves its gonna b a disaster because obviously not only their hearts are with each other, they also do have a child together. They will continue ruining their lives even more if they keep pushing their respective marriages. They will create an unhealthy environment for both d children. I shudder at the thought of wot Oviz child will turn out to be growning up in such an environment. And when Purviz child grows up he/she will become aware that his mom doesnt love his dad but some other man who is also his/her father.
Arvi should break free from their so called marriages. They will create a whole big a mess but atleast they will be happy and have each other and not ruin their and their childrenz lives :)

The reason i explained the past of Onir point was because it was brought up in this thread and i felt that it was accepted as a reason for getting out of the marraige by Purvi in the Purvi Onir marraige .[/QUOTE) I beg to differ as Staying in marriages that are not healthy just for the sake of children is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard of. Parents divorcing does not do any harm to the children if they both continue to play their part in their children's lives.

I am a result of a broken marriage when I was three mths old and it was not a love marriage. I grew up with my mother and grandparents and today I am proud of who I have become. Had my mother stayed in that marriage, I may not have her here with me up until now as she would have either commit suicide or die of stress at a young age. If I am not happy and stress free, how can I make someone happy - my children, my wife, my husband? I have to be happy and comfortable first and foremost before I can make anyone else around me happy.

Although many arranged marriages are successul, there are quite a lot that are not. I have been married for years and to someone I love and its a very different feeling than to live with someone you just cannot love. we are all human and i guess you would experience in someway that there are just some people you cannot handle no matter how much you try. It does not necessarily has to be a boyfriend, it could be your aunt, your cousin, a neighbour etc.

Sometimes i do think that people need to think fairly in the whole situation by looking at the cup half full and half empty at the same time. But I respect your opinion. no hard feelings sis

Originally posted by: rayadallie

Its is fair post but what we do not know yet or or certain, if ovi and arjun actually consummated their marriage and result in ovi's pregnancy. CV's has not shown us anything with respect to that. We can only assume that ovi is indeed pregnant with arjun's child as he is her husband. We will have to wait and see how this all unfolds

My dear Janhvi,

Well, you would have to cut Ovi-Arjun's baby loose too, you see, unless, as some in the forum would prefer, it is to be disposed off by a miscarriage, preferably along with its mother.

I find it very revealing that amidst all this profusion of concern here for the genus baby, in fact it is only Purvi's baby that is the focus of concern, whereas Ovi's baby is either contemptuously dismissed as not being Arjun's (a facile, if ugly premise that says more about those propounding it than anything else) or else simply brushed aside as not deserving of paternal love and caring because of its folly in being born to such an unpopular mother.

This apart, what I find amusing, if tiring, is the predictability and repetitiveness of practically every point made in this and all the similar threads. Except for hopeful, and wishful speculation about Onir's supposedly shady past, there is nothing one can read here that has not been said many times earlier, and often in exactly the same language. This is probably unavoidable, as all that we seem to have been doing for weeks now is, to borrow Jyothi's memorable phrase, keep going round and round the mulberry bush.

So, while I would naturally not dream of curtailing the rights of members to reiterate their favourite points, I would suggest, solely to save time and effort on the part of all concerned, that an open letter should go to Ekta Kapoor from the forum, recommending that:

a) Ovi should have a miscarriage and lose her baby, and if possible die in the process.
b) Onir should be run over by a Mumbai bus (the very careful BEST drivers might protest, but who cares!)
c) Archana, Sulochana, Teju, Manav, DK, and even Savita should get up a vote of congratulations to Purvi for having not just preserved Arjun's baby but also come back to Mumbai in such a timely fashion so that, after umpteen near misses, this great news could be publicly revealed to general rejoicing and hosannas for her latest tyaag (don't ask me what tyaag. I do not know, but anything Purvi does is by definition an example of tyaag, as certified by the expert in such matters, Archana).

d) His inconvenient wife now having been safely disposed of - as also a potentially inconvenient baby that, not being a product of 'true love' , is a sub-standard specimen that can be dispensed with - Arjun should now be reunited with his eternal beloved Purvi, in the hope of living happily ever after (which in practice would mean till Archana's next crisis necessitates ditching Arjun all over again, but then he asked for it, did he not? So he deserves whatever he gets).

An effort along these lines, with the signatures of the umpteen supporters sure to endorse it in toto, just might click with Ekta. It would not just make the signatories ecstatically happy, but it would also result in the early winding up of PR, a consummation devoutly to be desired.

Moral of the story: Amar prem, by definition, means that you can bail out when it suits you, and then parachute yourself back in when that suits you. Anyone in the way should get out or be run over, if not by the CVs, then by the majority in the forum.

Most refreshing recent development: The apparently complete triumph of Punni the Python. Atta girl!

Shyamala

Originally posted by: soapwatcher1

While arranged marriages can work beautifully most times, being caught in a loveless marriage while you pine for another can be the pits especially if that loveless marriage was forced upon you through conniving and cunning. Better to cut loose than remain miserable and create misery around you.

Really? Where? I hardly come here these days and so I would not know, but if this is really true, we are obviously making progress towards a revolutionary new definition of morality and ethics.

Shyamala

Originally posted by: Kalapi

Sadly Shymala, it isn't only Ovi's dead that the forum demand's , now it is the actress too...such a sad day for all of us, I feel...