How many wud like this post-Dharmu-slap track?

Archanafan thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
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How many of you want to see the track below occur after Dharmesh gets slapped?


By Vera from USA

Archana is upset because of what happened at her house and the situation with Dharmesh who was way out of line with her. Later, she gets a phone call from Jaywant who wants to talk to her in person and immediately. They meet and he says to her that he knows a fast way to get Manav out of jail, because he knows she doesn't like him languishing in there day after day.

Archana mentions that she doesn't trust him and that that no one has even gotten him a good lawyer even though Mumbai is filled with the world's most talented lawyers. Manav deserves a good and competent lawyer.

Jaywant says that he can circumvent that need and get him out very easily but there is a 'shart'. "Aur tumhe who shart manni hogi, Archana." Archana frowns. "Kaisi shart, Jaywant?" He says that he will pull a few strings and have Manav released with all the charges dropped, if she agrees to marry Jaywant tomorrow. She must also move to Delhi with him after marriage because there is a factory there as well and Dharmesh has promised him a higher post with more money and a bigger title to go with it. Archana will not work after marriage, according to Jaywant.

Archana is shocked. She doesn't like Jaywant and his Ayi can barely tolerate her. But she will do this for Manav because there is no other way out; she has no evidence to exonerate him and doesn't know how to get him out of a double murder charge without a lawyer, whose fees she may not be able to pay.

She doesn't see herself being with Manav as his wife in the future, even though he is her first and only love. Her dream has already slipped through her fingers. Manav doesn't even want to see her (she thinks), and shows no indication that he even wants her in his life as his wife. On top of that when he asked her to leave during their jail visit, she found that very hurtful. She had no idea Jaywant had already been there ahead of her and had vowed before Manav that he will make his life a living hell.

Archana thought that Manav will marry Shravni anyway, so why not do something for him and his family, do one last good act and then she promises herself she will never meet him again. She agrees to all of Jaywant's demands but says that she has a 'shart' of her own.

Her shart (condition) is that Manav must be released before her marriage, not after. She tells Jaywant: "Agar aap meri yeh shart ko poora nahin kar sakte, agar Manav aaj hi aaj riha nahin hota, tou mein apse shaadi nahin karoongi aur hamari mangnee bhi tod doongi." She lifts her hand up and shows him the ring he gave her. "Yeh angoothi dou second mein ootar ke phenk doongee. Aap samaj rahe hein meri baat ko, Jaywant?"

She is frowning. "Manav aaj hi riha hona chahiye, aur mujhe is baat ki har legal karvai kay papers chahiye mere haath mey. Mein Manav ke khilaf aur kuch sunna nahin chahti. Bas."

Jaywant gets incensed, and in an attempt to intimidate her, grabs her wrist tight, enough to leave the marks of his fingers on her thin wrist, "Kya kaha tumne?" He says angrily. But then agrees. "Ab bhi tumhe oos katil ki itni parva hai? Usne joh kaam kiya hai, uske liye tou usko maut ki sazza milnee chahiye. Aur tum'" The marks on her are very visible and she looks down on them intently. He stops talking. She says: "Aap mera kaam karengey ya nahi? Mujhe ha ya na mein jawab chaiye, mere pas aapko deneke liye zyada waqt nahi."

Jaywant says: "Thik hai, tou aaj sham tak, aapko sab miljaega." "Mein intezaar karoongee." She says this with a lot of empowerment which shows on her face. Jaywant seems like a violent, temperamental man; she didn't know this about him. She wonders what else she doesn't know about him, which bothers her a lot. But right now she is focused on getting Manav out as soon as possible.

Jaywant calls his corrupt cops and Manav is released from jail. Jaywant talks on the phone to someone: "Hain, tumne thik suna. Us manav ke bacche ko riha kardo. Abhi. Issi waqt. Who mein baad me samjhaoonga. Yeh kaam agar nahi hua, tou bahut moti macchli aat sey phisal jaegee. Ab jao, chordo usko aur uske kissi sawal ka jawab mat dena. Rakhta hu." He hangs up.

Archana is worried. Is Jaywant trying to trick her? Is he lying? She is being drawn into a web of lies, deceit and danger. On top of that she has just agreed to marry a man with a very questionable character. Her family doesn't know this, but she does. Jaywant has a dark side and its rearing its head now. She wants to go to see Manav but doesn't want him to know that she was behind his release and that she is sacrificing herself for him. A marriage with Jaywant will be hell, but she is taking the risk for Manav and his whole family.

Back at the police station, Manav is released after Jaywant's call. He is in utter disbelief. Manav asks the warden as to who got him out, and the warden refuses to tell him. Manav suspects Archana, but isn't sure.

Archana goes to a call box and calls Manav's house to check if he has indeed been released. She dials and he picks up. He says hello, she quietly bursts into quiet tears. Then he hangs up but gets suspicious. She hangs up and then thanks Bapa for his help. Now she has to fulfill her part of the bargain and marry Jaywant, a marriage which will change her life in the most negative way ever. She goes home and tells her family she's ready to tie the knot with Jaywant but it has to be done tomorrow. They are shocked but ultimately happy that she, in their eyes, has come to her senses.

The next day, Archana is involved in keeping up appearances and getting everything ready to be married to Jaywant and her family is happy for her because she finally did what they said. They have no idea what she's getting herself into and how she made a bargain with the devil, so to speak. No one knows about her immense sacrifice for Manav and she mentions nothing but keeps asking her beloved Bapa to give her shakti and keep her resolve strong.

Ajit is walking past the neighborhood where Archana lives and asks a passerby what's going on with all the celebrations. He says:"Archana ki shaadi ho rahi hai aaj ooski office ke koi aadmi ke saath, badi khoobsurat dulhan mili hai saley ko." Ajit walks into the house and Sulochana Tai tells him it is Jaywant she's marrying and in exactly one hour, she daughter will be well settled with a nice man.

He immediately goes to Manav and tells him that Archana is getting married within one hour. Manav was eating dinner and his morsel of food falls from his hand. Savita is shocked, Baba is aghast and Shravni smiles sweetly. "Accha hua. Mein issi din ke intezaar mein thi. Aaj who din aa hi gaya. Ab mujhe aur aapko koi alag'" before she can finish her sentence, Manav and Ajit dash down stairs.

Archana is almost ready to head out to the Mandap she just has to put on her red and gold bangles. Jaywant walks in, looks at her, they shoot each other glares and he walks away. Ters fill up Archana's eyes, but she doesn't let them spill. Varsha walks in and says: "Arre Tai, kitni sundar lag rahi ho, Jaywant Jiju kitne lucky hain, ke unko tum jaisi'" She stops mid-sentence and notices the bruises on Archana's wrist. They are red and obvious. "Tai, Yeh kya hai tumhari kalai pe? Zara dekhuto.." Archana says: "Kuch nahin, mujhe chain se chudiyaan pehenedo."

Varsha runs out. Within seconds her whole family is in the room and they all insist on seeing the bright bruise, asking her how she got it, who did this to her. Archana says nothing. There is a sense of anger about her, even sarcasm. "Aap log chahte the ke me Jaywant ke saath shaadi karlu, zindagi mein agey badhoo, apna ghar basau, tou dekhlo. Aaj mein wohi tou karne jaa rahi hu. Aap log mere liye bahut khush honge, aur hona bhi aisa hi chahiye. Mein bhi bahut khush hu."

Her father comes up close to her and says: "Archu, meri ankhon mein ankhein daal zara beti, aur bata, yeh kissne kiya? Bata beti, apne Baba ko tujhe batana hoga, tujhe meri kasam. Kya yeh Jaywant ne'?" Archana says nothing but keeps staring at the mirror in from of her, looking absolutely stunning. "Chaliye Baba, Mahurat ka waqt ho raha hai." She walks out with an expressionless face and goes onto the Mandap and sits down next to Jaywant, who looks triumphant.

Just then Manav and Ajit arrive at the door and they are stopped. Varsha spots them and comes running out. "Manav Jiju! Manav Jiju! Mein aaphi ko phone karne wali thi! Manav Jiju! Tai Jaywant sey shaadi karne ke liye raazi hogai! Aur..aur ham sab ne abhi kuch aisa dekha ke hamey lagta hai key eh shaadi rukhwani hogi har haalat mein."

Manav says: "Lekin hua kya? Meiney Archana ko kitne call kiye, lekin usne ek bhi nahin uthaya. Tumne kya dekha? Kya, hua kya, saf saf batao Varsha!" Varsha tells him about how Archana was trying to hide big red bruises on her wrist by putting on her wedding bangles and won't tell them who hurt her and that she is very angry and determined to through with the wedding. She tells Manav that Archana said that: "Aaj mujhe yeh shaadi karne se koi nahi rok sakta. Yeh shaadi hogi, aur ho kar rahegi." Varsha says that even though they all at first, encouraged her and told her to marry Jaywant and distance herself from Manav, they all have changed their mind because they think Jaywant put those red bruises on her arm. They are terrified that if she marries him, she may be marrying a wife-beater.

Manav: "Nahin, nahin, aisa nahin ho sakta, mein aisa hargiz nahin honey doonga. Abhi Archana kahan hai?" He learns she is on the Mandap already. He doesn't know what to do, he looks around, tries to think quickly, asks Bapa for guidance, "Mein kya karoo Bapa, mein kya karoo? Koi raasta dikhaiye Bapa!" Just then a timid woman who looked like she was from a gaon or village approaches Manav and Ajit. Varsha goes in to tell her family that help is on the way via Manav.

The petite woman says: "Bhai sahib, kya aap bhi shaadi mein aye hain? Aap meri madad kijiye bhai sahib. Mein yahan sham sey khadi hu, lekin mujhe koi andar janey nahin deta." Jaywant's men have been thwarting her thinking she's a beggar or something.

Manav asks her: "Tumhara yahan kya kaam hai behen?" She starts to cry and says: "Kya batau bhai sahib, andar mera pati doosri shaadi karne ja raha hai. Mein Jaywant ki patni hu aur unhone mujhse talaq bhi nahin liya, mujhsey baat tak nahin karte. Ham gaon mein shaadi karchukey haie char saal pehle. Ab mujhe pehchane se bhi katratey hain. Mere pass hamari shaadi ka saboot bhi hai, yeh dekhiye hamara chitta (marriage certificate). Ham dono is masoom ke ma baap hein, lekin who tou sheher mein aake hamey bhool gaye, na chitti na koi pata. Mein sheher ai aur pata chala ke who aaj shaadi kar rahey hein. Mera tou dil hi bait gaya. Kya aap meri koi madad kar sakte hain? Aap log bhaley log lagte hein. Bhagwaan apka bhala karey'"

Manav gets an idea, he tells Ajit to call the cops. They arrive and he shows them the marriage certificate. They barge in and stop the wedding just before the Panditji starts his Mantras. The inspector walks in with the first wife and the certificate and in front of everyone asks Jaywant: "Kya aaphi Jaywant Rane hein?" Jaywant is shocked. "Hain, mein hi Jaywant hu. Lekin yeh sab kya hai, Inspector? Aap dekh nahin rahey? Meri shaadi honey wali hai! Archana is shocked. Archana's family is relieved but Archana knows nothing of how Manav helped her.

The Inspector says: "Accha. Dou dou biwiyan rakhne ka bada shauk hai appko?" Then he proceeds to show everyone the marriage certificate and his first wife comes before him. Jaywant is aghast at seeing her holding a baby. "Yeh hamari prem ki nishani hai'aur aap hamey chhod ke chaley gaye?" He is arrested immediately and lead into a waiting police jeep. Archana is left standing there, she walks over to her Ayi and bursts into tears. Manav sees her from afar and Ajit suggests he go over. He says no. "Ab pata chala. Meri rihayi ki keemat kisne chukai." Tears well up in his eyes and he goes home, relieved that he stopped a man like Jaywant from ruining Archana's life while seething with anger that Jaywant hurt Archana's wrist.

How many of you think it should end this way?
Edited by Archanafan - 15 years ago

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SaffyFlower thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#2
Fantastic effort !
Good Intention you have !
Please keep writing
coolpratz thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#3
gr8 writing.. ...👍🏼
that was simply fantastic...
eagerly waiting for next part...😃
nikitagmc thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#4
Oh I love love love this one!!!!

Fab job!!!

Please continue!!! Please eliminate Shravani from the picture in the next part- request from a fan.

BTW: Who are Bhawna Garg and Charu Singh?
Archanafan thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#5
Thanks guys. Make sure you read our other post also under the same title...you might like that one too and its like 11 pages.

We're trying to get these ideas to the attention of the Creative Head or Script Supervisors of the show, so the show regains it oomph.

Love the show. Can the moderators bring our posts and ideas to their attention? i believe the names are Bhawna Garg and Charu Singh.

A show can never have enough good ideas! So, we're trying to keep fresh ones coming.

Thanks again for the nice comments, you're all good people.


vidya_955 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#6
You're ideas are awesome!!!!!!!!!! Pleeeez post more!!!
Archanafan thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#7
Thanks guys. We're glad you liked the ideas.

We have one more idea about Shravni that will be quite dhamkedar.

We will post it soon.

Besides, we think Pooja Pihal herself will like it. Its no fun to be the heel all the time and she's a great actress and does her job well.

Stay tuned buddies!
Archanafan thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#8
After Archana laid the smackdown on Dharmu, the track written above can take off.

There has to be a deal between Archu and Jaywant, cuz now she says she won't marry him and her dad has a heart attack. More stress for her and hopefully it will make her bolder.

And since we don't want to see any courtroom scenes, lets go with the track of the 'shart'.

The track above fits hand in glove...
Edited by Archanafan - 15 years ago
Writer42 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#9
I love the bit about Jaywant having a second wife. Why can't the cvs come up with gems like this? Great writing ArchanaFan.

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