Kool's Commentary : Mar 19 PR - Page 18

Thank you so much C.... I am delighted to know that you did read my postings , silly they may be sometimes but I do write what I believe in ...

Now C. I know what you are trying to explain to me .....of course we are watching a TV show and it is not really near to reality. And my idea or your idea of love is going to be different , of course because of our back ground and other things ....

But I am going to bring you to a very important sentence you wrote just now ....

I will call it a sentence that has made so much sense to me and I think you are absolutely spot on correct there .....

Manav loves Archu...he'll always love only her...but Archu definitely loves him a lot more as she has proved in the last two months and as so aptly Manav accepts himself.

The kind of love Archu has for Manav,it would have been better if the man would have been more sensible like satish

Pavitra Rista is all about ArMan so I guess they wont separate ...though Archu definitely deserves better ,she should get what she loves so much and that is Manav😃

Oh I try my best to do that all the time ....But the question here is about love ...isn't that a pretty common and a universal thing ...I mean , rich , poor , educated , uneducated , whatever race or nationality ...isn't love the same for everyone ????

Ok, let's see what happens in the next month ....

I had written yesterday that owing to the current plot, i have lost interest completely in the serial, so nowadays I agree with everyone without thinking or debating.

But your words shook me up today Tanya Di.

Originally posted by: Tanyaz

" If anything, I'd say he's fonder of the idea of his own uprightness than of Savita or Shravani.'

You are 100 % correct there ..

And what does that makes Manav Deshmukh ... a very very selfish man indeed . His own words , his own promise is much more than his wife's pain , much more than her humiliation....

You call that Love C. ????????

Come on ....

He just does not wants to look wrong in front of Shravani , his mother , Tarun and his dad .....

Even if it kills Archana and sentences her to a life of pain and loneliness...he will stand by his decision because now he does not wants to look wrong . And I don't buy this whole thing about the unwed mother and saving her izzat . The whole world knows it is sachin's baby .

Now Shravani wants to marry this guy more out of love than for the baby ........and he knows that ..

But still, he is going along with it .

Manav and selfish???? Excuse me????

Come on, Di! This guy has been stupid, dumb, spineless, wimpy, a ninny- call him any of these, and I will not object. Call him the worst husband and I will not say anything. But selfish??? I don't buy it AT ALL!!!

What you call his selfishness and ego that he does not want to be proved wrong in front of his mother, Shravani, Tarun and all, is actually his own conscience, which prevents him from walkiing away from his commitment cos he thinks others should not be made to suffer from mistakes he has unknowingly made.

And from that point of view, I can neither see him as selfish, nor can I see him wrong. Just think for a moment about Shravani- was it her fault that he promised marriage to her despite her telling that he should go ahead and work on his marriage? NO! Shravani had been noble then. He had made big claims then about how his marriage with Archana was hollow and as good as over. Because of him, Shravani had not aborted the baby, she had instead started hoping of a good future for the baby and become relaxed. Now is that her fault? NO!

Agreed it was Manav's fault then. He had given up on his marriage cos of circumstances, and had devoted his life to a higher cause- the baby, making himself the sacrificial lamb in a loveless marriage. But its not easy for him to walk out easily from this relationship, especially when he has so strongly committed himself to her. She depends and relies on him now... her father is gone... and he is her only support. She definitely CANNOT abort the baby now since the pregnancy is way too advanced. In such a situation, any person would feel guilty even thinking of leaving her, he cannot leave her to suffer for life cos of his mistakes (not until he makes some proper arrangement for everyone and apologizes but that is a different point the PR people are not willing to explore now). Shravani falling in love with him is again a different point altogether- it doesn't change the truth that Shravani has been led to this state by his words. Remember Kool and I had debated for a long time on this, Kool had said he cannot leave her now, and I had said it is very very difficult, and only his love for Archu can make him do it now. It is a fight of love vs his own conscience, which is really really difficult.

In all this he emerges as a bad husband to Archu, he accepts it too. However I don't blame him for getting married to Shravani as much as I'm frustrated with him for not being able to protect Archu from abuse- his feeble voice is unable to stop the tortures inflicted by his Aai and shravani on Archu... that is simply unacceptable to me. If he cannot protect his wife, then what is the use of such a husband, is what I feel. I can understand his turmoil and inner conflict regarding not being able to walk away from Shravani.

He is the sort of person who cannot punish Shravani for his mistake. But then he becomes unfair to Archana. He is in this big turmoil, but ultimately decides to go by what would be best for all, knowing that he would never be able to forget Archana, and would die everyday with the guilt of having betrayed her.

This man has never thought about himself for even a second- all the time it was always Archana's happiness (he signed divorce papers for her happiness with Satish), Varsha's happiness (welcoming and serving drinks to Ajit the creep who wrecked his marriage and maligned his wife) his family's happiness (boycotting Archana and family after the Deshmukhs suffered torture in jail) Shravani's future (decision to marry her for the sake of her honour and child), and even his in-laws happiness (persuading his Aai not to make a complaint against Manju or Ajit so that Karanjkars don't fall into trouble, although Manju and Ajit deserve the worst punishment on earth and he knows that)

the only time he became selfish was when he kept mum about his status and educational qualification so that he could get married to the love of his life. At that time too, he could not keep up with it, he eventually went and told Manohar Baba the truth despite his fears that they would break the marriage.

Manav and selfish... never!! The day he become a teeny weeny bit selfish, I'll give a party, he needs to learn that the world will eat him up raw if he continues behaving in this manner. Actually the world is eating him raw right now.

OK, Tanya, since I just read that you're waiting for a reply from me, am bending my own rules out of shape only for you.......

You asked: "rich , poor , educated , uneducated , whatever race or nationality ...isn't love the same for everyone ?" My answer to that is emphatically no. Yes, love is a human phenomenon (even an animal phenomenon) but there are many different ways of loving and thinking about love. Education and social status have a lot to do with decisions regarding what is justified in the name of love.

Cultural ideas about and attitides to love differ wildly. To give you one example: when the ex Indian cricket captain Azharuddin was reported to be having an affair with the film star Sangeeta Bijlani, and then later divorced his wife and married SB, reactions in the British press were markedly different from those among journalists in India, partcularly in the vernacular papers. On the British side everybody sympathized heartily, and wrote about the new relationship treating it as a "real" romance in defiance of restrictive Asian / Islamic traditions, and of his previous arranged marriage as if it was some unspeakably horrific neanderthal custom. (Azhar got married after he'd made it big in cricket; we all know that no educated man, a bank officer and then a public figure, even in then relatively conservative Hyderabad would have been expected to or allowed himself to say yes to an arranged marriage without seeing and talking to the girl, and later after getting engaged perhaps even taking her out once or twice, right?) The Indian press on the other hand, was clearly critical of his actions. The urban English language members of it were disapproving, and hoped he would be fair to the wife who was very dignified about it almost till the end; her inlaws stood by her and continued to live with her and the grandchildren. The vernacular press represented it as totally wrong, many condemning his actions, some Muslim journalists recommending that he marry Sangeeta as a second wife, others asking whether any amount of returned mehr, alimony or child maintenance would make up for the loss of face and emotional trauma associated with a faultless divorce, and everybody agreeing that he was making the children suffer on account of what was probably a physical infatuation.. The general idea was that he shouldn't have given in to this so-called love, and stayed a faithful husband and responsible father instead of living it up with this film star of whom obviously nothing better could have been expected.

Just typed all that to give you a sense of what love can mean to different categories of people, and therefore what they will agree is OK in the name of love, and what isn't.

Finally, and this I type in great trepidation and hoping people won't be too annoyed with me, but I would have said this to my own sister if I saw her spending such a large chunk of her day on IF...... Much though I can't find it in me to argue over these topics, I know that it can sometimes be entertaining and stress-busting. But it's not really going to be something you gain by, long term. PR really doesn't merit so much of your time, attention, and emotional energy. A good book or even a board game online when you're alone will grow your abilities much more. Chatting is fun, and lets people stay connected, and feel less lonely, and that's all good, but these endless arguments.... how do you hope to benefit from them?

C

Asfor me spending time here ...true I do , it's my situation ..I am in a sort of interim period ..I a m getting a house done up and right now am in a 2 bedroom apartment waiting to shiftin my new house and some other things ...

Let's put it this way , after a long time of work and extremely busy running around here and there , I am on a much deserved break and I am loving every minute of it ....

As for books, I do like reading them some times , but C, what to do ....I like it here more .

It's more fun . there is more social interaction .

I am basically just going by what I want to do and I am very lucky in the sense that I am in a position to do what I want to do right now . It's not always the case with me but at this time it is ........

Honestly C, sometimes what I read from your post , Kools, TB's Nickita's ...honestly that can match any book for me .......

Also so many other kids here ....Akash , Ali, and so many others ... I enjoy this more . It's not the drama , thank God that it is a fast moving interesting show that is why this forum too is always interesting ...but I think it is more to do with the interaction with the members than anything else .....

Endless arguments can be fun sometimes .....

Not all the time but sometimes .....

But thanks for your well meaning advise , I will take it just like you said ' as if you would give it to your sister ...that is very sweet of you and I know you mean well .." .

I will take your advise one day ...maybe when I have had enough of this forum here .....for now , just give me and the others company by coming every now and again ...... 😉