Okay these are just jokes, these are not meant to be taken seriously
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL?
A: Sir, we were able to save her!
Q: What is the ideal weight for a MIL?
A: About 2.3lbs, including the urn.
The clock fell off the wall. If it was a minute sooner, it would have hit my MIL. That clock was always slow!
My MIL is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder!
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my MIL." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my MIL up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".
Q: What do you do if you miss your MIL??
A: RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My MIL is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."
Q: What do you have when your MIL is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?
A: Too little concrete!
My FIL was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back." My FIL replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"
I wouldn't say that my MIL was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube.
Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a MIL?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish!
A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIL is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!"
I bought my MIL a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in.
At a senior citizen's meeting, a couple were celebrating their 50th Anniversary. The husband stood up and was telling story of his dating habits in his youth. It seemed that every time he brought home a girl to meet his mother, his mother didn't like her. So, finally, he started searching until he found a girl who not only looked like his mother and acted like his mother, she even sounded like his mother. So he brought her home one night to have dinner, and his father didn't like her.
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation, and while they were visiting Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial. The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told George, "My friend, the sending of a body back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000 dollars." The Consul continued, "In most of these cases, the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150 dollars". George thinks for some time, and answers the Consul, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back. That's what I want to do." The Consul, after hearing this says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much, considering the difference in price between $5,000 and $150 dollars." "No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem, and on the third day he was resurrected. Consequently, I do not want to take that chance!"
Madhubala - Ek Ishq Ek Junoon
Cricket
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Forum Games
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
