Who is the weirdo and psycho ? - Page 5

Loved it !!!!!!!!

Not getting into the ethical issues here. (For those interested in my views, which I, for one, am not in the habit of repeating ad nauseam) do read my post under the subject header "What Makes a Man (Manav)."

What I would like to say though is in response to Cbnerd's question on HIndu divorce. The problem, Cbnerd, is that Hinduism as a religion does not allow for divorce at all. There is no shastric (ancient textual) provision for a man and a woman to separate officially. Technically, once a woman marries a man, she becomes his "ardhaangini" (half of his body, i.e. joined to him permanently) and so she's stuck with the same guy not just in that lifetime, but for 6 more. (Thus the phrase "saat janmo ka rishta.") I am myself Hindu, but I find Islam's approach to marriage far healthier and more modern in many respects: a) in Islam marriage is quite specifically a social (and thus, by implication, reversible) contract rather than a binding and unbreakable holy sacrament, and b) the girl's consent - however much that may be a formality today - is considered essential to the process; i.e. it is not one family marrying another (parent's "giving" away the girl in a "kanyadaan" etc) but two independent and presumably thinking parties to a mutual agreement to wed. Yes, the qazi is involved, but more as witness than anything else. And, quite fittingly, it is the same qazi (not literally the same person of course, but the person who represents sharia in this case) whose presence validates both talaq or khulla. So while there's a way into marriage in Islam, it's not into a black hole; there's also a way out. And rules in regard to the rights of divorced women. We may or not may feel those rules are adequate, but at least there are rules; the sharia takes cognizance of such a possibility and thinks about how to deal with it. It was quite common for Hindus upto our parents' generation not to have what we now call registered marriages because the ceremony before the sacred fire was seen as sufficient. But because Hinduism has no provision for the possibility of official divorce or separation, parents of Hindu girls today, especially in the cities, insist on the registered marriage because it is at that point that the state and the law, i.e. the Special Marriage Act and the Indian Penal Code can be invoked, allowing the girl recourse to rights in the case of adultery, abandonment, ill-treatment, non-payment of alimony etc.

Hope this clarifies some of the questions raised.

Commentator

is she a legal wife ? What exactly is her status .

I admire your knowledge , not just of your religon but of others too . You are so well read and have so much knowledge my friend .....

that's fantastic .

The Hindu second wife is not a legal wife in the sense that the state does not recognize her as one. The only wife the state officially recognizes is the one who has signed the papers, whether she is the first or second or third wife to the same man. As far as the religion is concerened, there is technically, no limit to the so-called "gandharva" (temple marriage) or other similar "marital" relationships that a man may enter. Needless to say, no such freedom is given to women, who may, according to the tradition, only marry once in their lifetime, and be liberated from that marriage by nothing less than death, either their own or their partner's. And of course widow remarriage only started happening late in the 19th century and is still contested and problematic, particularly in the rural areas, as anybody who saw Shyam Benegal's brilliant film "Welcome to Sajjanpur" will testify. There are of course, monogamous ideals and exemplars offered in Hinduism, and a general moral discouragement of second marriages except under the "extreme" compulsion of having to father a son. Thus, in a moral sense the ideal husband would be Ram, who doesn't marry more than once in his lifetime even under severe duress. The word "sahadharmini" (which seems to imply some sort of exclusivity in the relationship) is a part of that ideal, i.e. the one wife who is a partner to the man in his wordly and religious responsibilities. But in the final analysis, good examples and sage advice notwithstanding, monogamy is not an official requirement for the Hindu man if he were to make decisions based entirely on religious rather than legal grounds.

Commentator

.

Unless of course he divorces her and then he marries again. Ok , that makes things clear , so for Sharavni to become a proper legal wife, he has to divorce Archana first and cannot do what he did with the engagement .

I mean he just did the engagement without dvorcing his wife , he can do it with marriage too but it will not be legal....

fair enough ...

With reference to the drama , I don't think Shravani' s dad Girish Ji will like it very much if Manav does not give legal status to his daughter .

Interesting , let's see how things go .

thanks again ....

Thanks for your very informative post . We need them .

@Tanyaz;

Any time. Feel free to ask. I'm a teacher by profession; it's my job to expound. 😊

And the questioning / inquiring Tanyaz (as opposed to the anti-Manav propagandist) is an interesting person, someone I can talk to on a rational level. 😊

Commentator

Hmm, yes I suppose that's true.

Boy, whadda heckuva scary thought ! 😊

Commentator