PERSPECTIVES ---- 1
A Rude Awakening
It was getting to be crowded in the trains. Yet she managed to get in. It was a long journey to office. But it was imperative that she work and earn. She was thankful to her parents who supported her in this. She sighed.
Suddenly he looked up and saw her. The blank look turned cold within a fraction of a second. She shrivelled inside with despair. She hoped she would see some softening in his eyes. He had the most eloquent eyes. They could convey messages so easily. At one time she had seen the depth of his love for her through his kindness, his understanding and his trust. Somewhere she had failed. Why couldn't she reciprocate? Why couldn't she trust him with her heart? He had always believed in her, hadn't he? Her cheeks turned pink with shame.
The train jerked and she was shoved once again. He got up and offered her his seat. Why did he do that? Did he still love her despite his hostile exterior? He didn't look at her nor did he make an attempt to acknowledge her. She looked down and slid into the seat he had vacated. He was facing away from her. She felt desolate. He couldn't even bear to look at her now. The train slowed down at the station. He turned to leave and in the hurry, a paper slipped out of his folder and fell to the floor. She quickly picked it up and rushed to the door to return it to him. But he had melted away into the crowd. She looked down at the paper and her heart broke!
She was always helpful with not a complaint on her lips. Giving up her education for her mother didn't matter because she loved her so much. She worked in the house to give the others comfort. She never spoke too much unlike the firebrand Varsha or the gentle Vaishu. Like a shadow she would keep the family happy and comfortable by doing all the work. They loved her and she trusted them.
Then why did Vahini do such a despicable thing? Why did she make a police complaint against his family without consulting her? Why did she feel justified in interfering with her life? Why did the elders never reprimand her? Did she have to break relations with Vahini to make her point? Why did her mother try and fix her up with Satish when she knew she didn't want to sever her relationship with her husband? Why did her father who had been earlier saved by Manav suddenly not believe in him anymore? Why didn't her mother allow her to take that one desperate phone call made by Manav from the jail? Despite everything why did Dada still back his wife?
She realised that the fault lay with her. She trusted her mother, father and brother. But where did that land her? She had needed to assert herself, to think for herself and to have the courage to meet challenges on her own. Sadly, because she didn't do that she had paid a heavy price for it.
Her feet seemed like lead as she slowly walked out of the station. They dragged, as her shoulders drooped. The burden just seemed too much. The paper lay crumpled in her hands as she wound her way through the street. The sound of ringing bells told her she was near a temple. She turned to ascend the steps. She walked up and entered the hall. She raised her hand to ring the bell. Will Bappa hear? Will Bappa help? Will Bappa forgive?
She felt alone in the whole world. It was an eerie feeling to face the world with no one beside her. But she had to convince him that she was not party to a scheming plan. She had to ask him to forgive her for her blunder of distrusting him. She had to show him that she was resolute this time and would forever stand by his side no matter what.
Archana Manav Deshmukh was a woman in turmoil. It is going to be an arduous journey for her to be together with the man she loves.
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