Sometimes the expression on his face is so cold when he looks at you, that one glimpse of those icy black eyes of his sends an uncomfortable shiver skittering down your spine. His eyes are analytical, almost coolly appraising as he takes in your tousled black hair, now frizzy in the heat, your awkward stance and your small nose. Sometimes you feel so small & insignificant with Disha near him that you wish you could make yourself forget you ever liked him.
Sometimes you almost convince yourself that you truly don't like him at all and that you certainly don't care what he thinks. That you don't care that he is moving on so easily. The thought unfortunately, is fleeting.
Sometimes a sneer of what you are sure is disdain crosses his face when he looks at you, and you feel embarrassed, fearing he is able to read your mind and has picked up on what you are sure are your carefully-concealed feelings for him. Your cheeks turn hot and you dismiss such a thought as ridiculous, for he cannot know. You have barely spoken two words after coming back here.
Sometimes you hate the way that when he is around, you cannot concentrate on anything. You find yourself making silly mistakes, even cutting your fingers & burning your hand… you want to tear your hair out and wish that you weren't so constantly aware of his presence.
Sometimes though, the expression in his eyes when he looks at you, merely confuses you. Sometimes they turn so soft and it bothers you because you start hoping against hope. Sometimes you wonder what it means.
You don't want to feel this way for him. Infact, you hate that you do. It would be so much easier if you could have moved on that easily like he did. Sometimes you wish that you should say yes for marriage too, at least your maasi would be happy.
Sometimes you wonder what it would have been like if you weren't his mami ki behan ki beti who he hated since childhood. What it would have been like if you wasn't in that delusion that you loved his brother. What it would have been like if Disha wouldn't have come so soon.
Udne Ki Aasha
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
