Originally posted by: Transference
Okay, I am not sure whether the writers do delve so profoundly into the character. I felt that Dhara does love the children equally, but sometimes parents tend to be softer towards the emotionally non-vocal child. That's why her reactions are more of empathy for Dev as a weakling while all her angst and frustration comes out at Shiva.
He is always there, rock-solid, latched onto her for love, but he amongst the brothers is her shock absorbent and support. He worships the ground on which she walks, which gives her an extraordinary Haq over him. Shiva has been the smarter and the most passionate one. He feels strongly; he needed to help Gaumbi so much to the point of Zid. He also tries to understand Gaumbi’s problems too. Perhaps the most observant of them all.
Dev needs the support of Dhara while Shiva has been the prop as well as her punching bag. It's toxic and not okay. That's why you'd see Shiva not opening up with his innermost thoughts in front of her. Dev opens up and burdens Dhara with his problems, while Shiva is the solution for most of her problems. He likes to participate in sharing the emotional load with Gaumbi and Dhara and not merely The physical one.
I want Dhara to actually mull about this aspect how she has actually been unfair to Shiva most of the times.