Aik Sitam Aur(Thread 8) Usama Khan, Anmol Baloch ( ARY Digital ) - Page 9

my last question for the day -- how do you reject safely?

now the reason for all my questions is a news event that happened here a few years ago. a guy stabbed a girl at a commuter train station in front of tons of people. she died before they could get help. the guy later committed suicide while under police custody. there was a lot of debate and chatter about what happened.

so the guy and girl belonged to the same neighbourhood and he professed his love to her. she told him that she will only marry who her parents decide. (like ushna). this guy kept pressuring her and she discussed him with her family. her parents told her that he was a cheap loco and to avoid him. they even spoke to his family and told them off. (just like zainab). still the guy persisted. initially she was polite and firm. later, she couldn't take it anymore and she yelled at him and called him names. a few days later, she was dead and he said it was because she insulted him.

there was a lot of debate on how should girls reject boys and how to handle unwanted attention and the role of parents. now, people were saying that she did the right thing by saying it was her parents call. others said that she should have made it clear from the start that she wasn't interested. (another ushna situation).

some said the parents should have moved to another house while others said you can't keep running away from every idiot that fancies you. (can ushna and zainab really just cut ties because of this idiot?) there were others who said moving away would have showed that they were scared or worse let the guy think she was indeed moved by him (sufiyan suggesting that her skipping the wedding was because she and shehroze was uncomfortable)

some were saying the parents should not have gotten involves in kids matter and made it a bigger issue. (raeesa and rafaqat egging on sufiyan). others said parents were only trying to resolve it so it doesn't flare up.

then her reaction -- some said she should have been more firm while others questioned at what point does a "NO" from a girl gets taken seriously? some said she shouldn't have insulted him and he took revenge as a result. others said if a polite firm refusal wasn't working, what options did this girl have -- wasn't she human?

my point is that a real life ushna type situation created so much chatter. unfortunately for that girl, it ended in her death. we already know that sufiyan was considering shooting her at the wedding because she rejected him. so we circle back to the question -- how can ushna handle this matter in a safe way?

Originally posted by: vibha28

This 👏👏👏👏👏👏

She was upset because her useless uncles business was ruined and then she talked to Romeo too didn’t she? She was never ever firm and then she goes around claiming she didn’t mean anything.

Exactly. It is not like she was bechari like Hala. She had all options in front of her. She is just a spoilt brat and attention seeker. She got all the freedom , pampering and protection from the people around her . There are many girls out there who are actually in the worse situations ,even then you see them standing up against such guys that too at a very young age.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

my last question for the day -- how do you reject safely?

now the reason for all my questions is a news event that happened here a few years ago. a guy stabbed a girl at a commuter train station in front of tons of people. she died before they could get help. the guy later committed suicide while under police custody. there was a lot of debate and chatter about what happened.

so the guy and girl belonged to the same neighbourhood and he professed his love to her. she told him that she will only marry her who her parents decide. (like ushna). this guy kept pressuring her and she discussed him with her family. her parents told her that he was a cheap loco and to avoid him. they even spoke to his family and told them off. (just like zainab). still the guy persisted. initially she was polite and firm. later, she couldn't take it anymore and she yelled at him and called him names. a few days later, she was dead and he said it was because she insulted him.

there was a lot of debate on how should girls reject boys and how to handle unwanted attention and the role of parents. now, people were saying that she did the right thing by saying it was her parents call. others said that she should have made it clear from the start that she wasn't interested. (another ushna situation).

some said the parents should have moved to another house while others said you can't keep running away from every idiot that fancies you. (can ushna and zainab really just cut ties because of this idiot?) there were others who said moving away would have showed that they were scared or worse let the guy think she was indeed moved by him (sufiyan suggesting that her skipping the wedding was because she and shehroze was uncomfortable)

some were saying the parents should not have gotten involves in kids matter and made it a bigger issue. (raeesa and rafaqat egging on sufiyan). others said parents were only trying to resolve it so it doesn't flare up.

then her reaction -- some said she should have been more firm while others questioned at what point does a "NO" from a girl gets taken seriously? some said she shouldn't have insulted him and he took revenge as a result. others said if a polite firm refusal wasn't working, what options did this girl have -- wasn't she human?

my point is that a real life ushna type situation created so much chatter. unfortunately for that girl, it ended in her death. we already know that sufiyan was considering shooting her at the wedding because she rejected him. so we circle back to the question -- how can ushna handle this matter in a safe way?

See, the point here is . Make the guy clear about your feelings as soon as possible. By giving hopes through being cordial, or through not reacting even ,you are calling danger for yourself. Such guys become more obsessive with time. Secondly, if still the guy persuades you, talk to your family and Ushna had her mom, wahab, shehroz and Naima to support her. File a complaint against them. When you know the guys' intentions, take the legal actions as soon as possible.

I think that’s the risk. I don’t know if you are aware of Dominique Dune’s case ? She was an actress and had a stalker and she was nice to him but when he kept hassling her she was rude and he stabbed her and she died.

Same with John Hinckley who shot President Ronald Reagan because actress Jodi foster told him she is not interested in him.

That’s why it depends on attention and from whom. Here Ushna knows Romeo and she had many people who can support her. Shehroz is there and so is Wahab. She also knows he doesn’t directly do anything but always does think second-handed. I think she should have spoken to someone and called the police herself. File a case that the guy is harassing me. Risk will be there no matter what so May was well do something.

Originally posted by: Renee.Clare

Exactly. It is not like she was bechari like Hala. She had all options in front of her. She is just a spoilt brat and attention seeker. She got all the freedom , pampering and protection from the people around her . There are many girls out there who are actually in the worse situations ,even then you see them standing up against such guys that too at a very young age.

Yes and even a mentally unwell Hala was firm with Khurram then why can’t Ushna.

Girls will have that risk but how can anyone be quiet when the alternative is a permanent stalker?

see, I am not sure how much support wahab and shehroze are. wahab seems disinterested even in zainab's health. so can't see him getting involved. shehroze is a bit too trigger happy to start a fight and with naima in the back, won't a girl be more hesitant about telling him. right now, sufiyan is being sneaky in that he is pretending he is over her. even his family is doing the same. so if she acts uncomfortable, they would make it into an issue where it would be questioned why. depending on how the wind blows, it could be made more uncomfortable for her and zainab.

I will agree the writing is not good and ushna's characterization is vague and opaque. but that seems to be the case with many of these dramas which go into extensions. 😅

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

see, I am not sure how much support wahab and shehroze are. wahab seems disinterested even in zainab's health. so can't see him getting involved. shehroze is a bit too trigger happy to start a fight and with naima in the back, won't a girl be more hesitant about telling him. right now, sufiyan is being sneaky in that he is pretending he is over her. even his family is doing the same. so if she acts uncomfortable, they would make it into an issue where it would be questioned why. depending on how the wind blows, it could be made more uncomfortable for her and zainab.

I will agree the writing is not good and ushna's characterization is vague and opaque. but that seems to be the case with many of these dramas which go into extensions. 😅

I don’t think she needs to be uncomfortable but she is very capable of saying she can’t trust him. She told her aunts off so she has a mouth one which she uses when she feels like it.

Romeo says he has moved on so why call her? It’s not as if they were best friends or even close cousins unless they were. She could simply do it herself - she knows and has some street smarts or even go to Naima and do more murmurings about Romeo she knows Naima hates him, she has options.
I don’t buy her being nice to him is because she is polite - she has a soft corner for him and she is very meek when it comes to him and it’s terrible writing as Ushna is not well written and I still don’t know what love she has for Shehroz.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

see, I am not sure how much support wahab and shehroze are. wahab seems disinterested even in zainab's health. so can't see him getting involved. shehroze is a bit too trigger happy to start a fight and with naima in the back, won't a girl be more hesitant about telling him. right now, sufiyan is being sneaky in that he is pretending he is over her. even his family is doing the same. so if she acts uncomfortable, they would make it into an issue where it would be questioned why. depending on how the wind blows, it could be made more uncomfortable for her and zainab.

I will agree the writing is not good and ushna's characterization is vague and opaque. but that seems to be the case with many of these dramas which go into extensions. 😅

See wahab changed after rukhsati because Naima was against Ushna. But he was in full support in Ushna as Naima supported her. If we consider the situation of that time, naima and Wahab did not doubt Ushna for a bit and Ushna knew that. When Sufiyan came at Shehroz's house warning Ushna , both Wahab and Shehroz stood up for her.

The question is not about a guy harassing her,the question is her not being firm but normal with him all times when you know the guy loves you. She never ever told him clearly about her feelings. Her words were never firm. she used to be like "aapko jo samajhna hai samjhe" "jo karna hai kare"

She was never really clear with him. Did she say the same to him which she told to sadaf on phone "she never loved him but it was just concern"

see I think that ushna was written vaguely on purpose so that sufiyan will gain importance. they didn't want her to outright reject him because that would reduce his screen presence to no time. what can director and writer do when it is the producer's brother? so ushna was written like a whiplash and we don't hear her inner monologues.

coffecake's point is on the money -- sufiyan was meant to be a second lead where we were supposed to root for his love. we were supposed to feel bad that this girl is not being straight with him and he is going a bit loco.

salman saeed unfortunately does not have the looks of the actors in kaisa teri khurdgarzhi or zakham to pull it off -- in both of those dramas, those characters are genuinely criminal and outright terrible. yet, there are actual fans who are still hoping that the girl will end up with these guys. am like what???? 🤬🤢

anyway, my point is that I think sufiyan was supposed to be in that kind of stalker mould which still has fanbase for some weirdo reasons. instead of a rhona dhona heroine though, we had a strong FL who is confused on how to handle this kind of situation. in some ways, that seems strange but in other ways, not so much -- we all make mistakes and just because we are strong does not mean we know what to do in a situation. I also keep remembering that ushna has barely finished her university -- not yet enough life expereince to really read people and know who should be put in place.

at the same, sufiyan is supposed to be sneaky and playing mind games on her. he is supposed to be some sort of chess master who will seperate the love jodi because they are too blind to see the game.

I think that was the blueprint that the writer was given by the production house to boost the profile of sufiyan. however, audience rejected sufiyan and so we are getting some comedic mismash that is just plain confusing at times.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

see, I am not sure how much support wahab and shehroze are. wahab seems disinterested even in zainab's health. so can't see him getting involved. shehroze is a bit too trigger happy to start a fight and with naima in the back, won't a girl be more hesitant about telling him. right now, sufiyan is being sneaky in that he is pretending he is over her. even his family is doing the same. so if she acts uncomfortable, they would make it into an issue where it would be questioned why. depending on how the wind blows, it could be made more uncomfortable for her and zainab.

I will agree the writing is not good and ushna's characterization is vague and opaque. but that seems to be the case with many of these dramas which go into extensions. 😅

The thing is sufiyan made it crystal clear he isn't over her. At the mehndi he said he keeps himself busy to not think about his broken heart and when she comes at home raeesa says sufiyan still cares a lot for ushna and he himself says she still cares about her. He keeps calling her and finds reasons to talk to her. She blocked his first number and he called her from another. Why didn't she block the 2nd number and even attended his call?

She fights with shehroze the moment he says something against zainab for Naima. He atleast thought he had reasons to shout at zainab. At muktar house both her maamis were saying stuff about her husband and she kept quite. What right does those two maamis have to pass comments on wahab or shehroze? Raeesa even openly said how much better sufiyan is compared to shehroze and both zainab and ushna kept their mouth shut. If it was not to create a scene why didnt zainab kept her mouth shut in front of Naima when she said sufiyan is behind shehroze's shooting incident or ushna keeps her mouth shut when Naima or shehroze says something which she don't like? Ushna is fully capable of passing taunting remarks on Naima first thing in the morning but cannot taunt her maamis? She could have atleast said shehroze is not like how they say and she is happy with him and she loves him. That's not gonna be disrespectful towards those maamis.

It clearly shows she neither respects shehroze nor care about him enough to take a stand for him in front of her maamis.