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they were scars of some thing whipped on her back- belt or a whip ? Some were completely healed, some not.. and he lifted his eyes from the scars to look at nupurs face in the mirror.
Nupur looked back with fear and embarrasment on her face.
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mayank stared alternatively at nupurs face and then her back.
Nupur tried to say something but couldnt bring herself to say anywords. There was embarasment at being caught with something that she hadnt discussed with anyone but more than that fear. Fear that mayank would again be hurt and would blame her for not telling him . Fear that the past would intrude again, that the scars which dhruv left on her body would stand between her and mayank. She had promised herself that she would start all over newly again , she could hide her mental agony, pretend that it didnt exist but how would she hide the scars . She looked at mayank again
his eyes bent still- his fingers slowly tracing the scars-he moved her dress aside to be able to see the whole extent of the hurt. She noticed the change of expressions on his face from shock to sadness to guilt till his eyes became wet and she could hold herself back no longer.his regret was clear- what was he doing all the while!
" Mayank ", she had turned to face him and pulling her hair to the front, zipped up her dress.
Mayank stood quietly looking down at his hands which had traced her back, and his eyes moist .
"mayank, dekho. Itna serious mat ho. Main abhi bilkul teek hoon."
mayank looked up at her , anger replacing his sadness, teek hoon? did she really think he would listen to that? without giving her any chance to talk further pulled her closer with his hands on her waist and kissed her on the lips. The kiss was forceful at first and nupurs hands were on his chest kind of resisting him. He moved back when he realised she was resisting.
Nupur moved her hand up to his face and stroked his cheeks. She wiped the lone tear at the end of his eye with her fingers while her own filled up .
He bent towards her and placed his lips on hers again, softly gently this time.his lips lingered on hers but she still didnt respond. Something had broken in a few seconds that he had stroked her back and seen her scars.
He didnt give up. His kisses became more urgent and he left her lips to kiss her on her cheeks, on her jawline and down one her neck , though the mass of hair . He had puller her closer if possible running his hands all over her back.
Nupur felt herself going limp but somehow couldnt bring herself to respond to him. She wanted all that she was geting now but her mind was in no position to feel the thrill of being with him after so long.her thoughts were all getting jumbled , the look in mayanks eyes had brought back all the memories of dhruv- each time that dhruv had used his belt against her. And she felt guilty that her thoughts were with dhruv when mayank was with her , kissing her .
He lifted his head up and saw her closed eyes, her hands holding his loosely. He turned her around and unzipping her kissed her on the scars- nupur tears began to roll down then, she wiggled and he forcibly held her . He kissed every scar he could see , she was crying now knowing fully well mayank was trying to kiss away the pain , he didnt stop and continued to run his fingers and lips on her back till finally he could nt ignore her tears .
Mayank lifted her up in his arms and placed her on the bed. He lied down next to her on his side and wiped the tears on her face. She looked at him ,confused about what was happening- was this how she thought they would get back together , confused about what she wanted, and guilty about what had happened before , fighting the demons of past while trying to forget them at the same time.
Mayank seemed to know what was happening inside her mind. His eyes had by now dried up. He caressed her face with his fingers while his other hand ran along her arm and waist. Though she shivered at his touch, he sensed her struggle. He spoke up," kahin aur chot aayi hain?" , his voice gentle though his tone was husky.
as their eyes met, nupur gave up her struggle. It was clear to her that mayank wasnt just trying to bridge the gap of three years physically, he was trying also to wash away her hurt in the way he thought was possible. She couldnt respond but she could atleast let him do what he thought was good for her , was good for them. She wouldnt hide anymore , not when he asked her.
She showed mayank her neck where he could see few small scars which looked like burns. He bent to kiss her on her now bare neck and shoulder . Tears still rolled down but she simultaneously felt her skin burn where he had touched.
Mayank looked up and nupur freeing her hands from his showed him her hands and arms which showed the places where glass bangles had cut her skin. He kissed on the cuts some of which were new. She winced as he held it tight . As his lips brushed over the pulse at her wrist, she felt shivers down her spine.
Mayank then sat next to her , breathing heavily, his hands holding hers. He looked at her questioningly. She understood, she knew he would never want to force her into a physical relationship , she knew and he knew she was not comfortable enough today , was this the same day that she had been so happily dancing? When she had wanted to kiss and be kissed ? When she had felt alive being in mayanks arms? She knew what mayank wanted but then did she know what she wanted ? She traced his profile with her fingers and nodded... mayank smiled reassuringly and pressed her fingers to his lips continuing to do what he wanted to- show her how much he loved her.
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