Sacrifice - Long lasting desire (OS)

Mayashelly thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#1
Hy guys.. This is my new try..And my first OS. And this is a kind of dark too..


Whatever a person do to their beloved ,there will be always a reward or happiness for it. Even mistakes have a second chance to recover. Life is all about moving on and time heals all wounds. But time will pass away and it can't be attained back. Every act we do has both positive and negative impact in life. The time once lost is lost forever. Sometimes,there will be no second chance ever. Wish to speak to someone,speak at once; need to say something or do something, do it immediately. May be the time for which we wait, could never come...


The evening breeze felt fresh. She stepped out in the land. It felt like a child start walking in the feet for first time. It's been months, oh no it's been years since seeing the world she thought. But still, she didn't saw her world , her mean universe yet. She walked out as fast as she can as though a child walking out of school to see her mother after the first day of school.. But where she is going, don't know and where she's right now, don't know.. After a few minutes of walking, a board welcomed her.. So she get to know where she is ,Haryana. But still it's so far from her house they said. She stopped in her track. Who they are? Why they left her now? She asked to herself. Buy now she didn't care about those. Her only need is meeting him. But where will she meet him? She saw another board route, Mumbai.. Yeah her journey will be there. But how will she go. Nothing can happen without money she know. She dearly needed now. But she has nothing else with her apart from the simple saree she wear, a blanket which she covers herself from cold which also became her best friend these days and mangalsutra which remain his love for her that mean a lot. She saw her mangalsutra, " Keep it with yourself, this will surely needed for you one day " he said someday. And yes, that became true she thought. She saw a pawn jewel shop some distance away and she stand before that holding her mangalsutra. Yes, she didn't wish to sell it there. It reminds her of him. Her love. Her life. His love which remained unrequited.. But how will she sell there which remind his presence with her in these years. But nothing mattered anymore now since she gonna see him in flesh and blood. His memories or his reminder doesn't matter to her anymore than seeing him with her eyes and feeling him with her heart..
She walked towards the shop with a determation.

After sometime, she saw herself seating in a train from haryana to mumbai. There was a smile in her face. A desire, a hope, a life in her that she is going to see her love after ages.. But still somewhere in her heart a unknown fear arupt her. She sat near the window where the journey started to attain her love. And she viewed the place. It still remained a beautiful place. But she just need her universe where her real beauty lies in. The air blows in her face. It washed her soul with a refreshing and a new life. She closed her eyes and just a face, love, memory floats in her soul..He changed her life. No he gave her a life. RANVEER, the only name she say in these years and the destination of her life. Thinking of him still create glitters of butterfly in her stomach. She felt happy. But somewhere in corner of her, it's still lifeless..

I,Ishani Ranveer Vaghela. The name that changed her life. Yes, my life started when I realized his love for me. At that time, I really thought do I really deserve him? And I made sure from that moment whatever I do, that will be connected to him and that makes me worth him. Yes. Whatever I do, that's worth him even if it means dieing for him. Our story started long before. I saw him in my 8 years and there starts my real life. He is my best friend.. From the moment he came in my life, he made me smile, he made me live. He made my every day worth with beautiful memories.. But our life changed and took a different path. The life without him by my side has nothing more than pain. But soon our friendship changed into a beautiful love.. For him, his love is enough for both. But when I realized his love, I know the real meaning of that. In his love, every day, every moment felt beautiful to live with. But again our life took a great turn, we united after long painful seperation. Again we lived in the ocean of love,But again our fate changed in the name of a disease. I left from his life to give him a new life. In these past years, I didn't met him. I was kept in a room nearly jail, where only sun and moon helped me count my days. I got to know he recovered in the next 6months. I tried to run away from the place twice but in vein.

In these past years, only his memories made me live my life. And my life stick only with a desire, I have to see him one day before my death. I have to see him living a good life. And that's enough to die the last breath. Years passed with this single desire of seeing him someday. Now after these long years I gonna meet him. My soul, my destination, my life, my Ranveer..
Love is not attaining someone or living with each other. It's living for each other and dieng for the other. There will be no lie in love only truth will be there. But I lied him and showed my hatred to give him a happy life.
And that's why ranveer, I leave you. But now I will say you, Meri ashiqui sirf tum se hi Ranveer.

She took a deep breathe and opened her eyes. How the time passed, she didn't know. But will she know how many hours passed when she is thinking about him or her love. After a long journey, she stepped in the land of Mumbai.

6 years passed in your memories. But now, when I am nearing you, even a second seems to go so slow.

She saw the Mumbai which changed a lot in this years. But still it's essence remained same. She walked towards her final destination, to the mansion where her life started and will end, to him, her ranveer.

She saw the mansion not changed. It just remained as it is when she left. How will he be now? Where will he be now? In home or office? She knows he really loved his work and also she was proud of his hardwork and success.. He will be same and happy and married. Even have kids.. She smiled thinking. Will he accept her now? Or will push her out? How will she face him or his family now? Her smiled ceazed at the thought of HIS FAMILY..

If he is happy, that will make her happy. If he was happy with his new life with someone, then she will happily leave him forever. He should be happy and alive. That's what she wants... Seeing him from distance, she will live her last life.

She stepped her feet into the mansion. She felt like she was coming there for first time with her mom. Whenever she leave him, she will lose someone in her life. And that's why she lost her mom and dad. But when he is with her and for her, she has no pain in her. He always remained as a mother, father, friend, love and everything of her life. As soon as she stepped in,she found the hall empty until a giggle of two kids heared. Ishani looked in the direction of the kids. A cute girl and a boy of 3-4 years old were running and were playing. She immediately had a smile in her face. They will be the kids of ranveer, she thought. When she was about to walk towards them, the sight in the wall stopped her.

She was ceased in the place looking at the picture. Tears fall down her cheeks. She ran towards the photo, Baa.. She cried thinking of her. As she was seeing Baa's photo, a voice distracted her... 'Bhabhi...'
She turned to look at Parul. Parul was looked shocked. Ishani went near her: Parul..
Parul(with shocked tone): Bhabhi... Tum.. here..how..
She was stammering at the sight of her bhabhi after these years..
Parul, baa? What happened to her? she asked looking at the image hanging in the wall and her. Yet no reply came from parul.
Where are others parul? Kaka,kaki,Disha,manas,devarsh, krisha? Where are them? How are you? How come you here? When you came back with krish? And Where is Ranveer? Ishani asked her final question with a unconditional desire to see him..
But parul seemed quite and she just moved from there towards stairs.. Ishani looked at her dumb, thinking of her unanswered questions.. She tried moving behind parul until something stopped him. Her breath ceased at the sight before her. Her sight on him. Her heartbeat ceased to breath at his sight, even tears cease to flow from her eyes...

She looked at him till parul came back and handed over a diary..
She looked at the diary and opened.

Hy Ishani,
How are you? I hope you are good. I don't know will you ever read this in your life or will this remain my untold journey of my life..
I am Ranveer Vaghela, RV to the World of bussiness, your Ranveer. When I am 9 years and stepped into this mansion for the first time,I saw you Ishani. People say one's life starts when he comes to the world. But my life truly started when I first saw you. And from that moment to now where I stand now, whatever I do, that is related to you. My smile,my tears,my pain, my life everything is related to you. You are my friend,my love, my life. I don't know why you left me still. I tried to hate you. Though your lips uttered your hate, your eyes still showed your love for me. How will I hate you or forget you and move on. Maybe this is my illusion that you loved me. But I love you from the moment I saw you Ishani. I didn't expect you to reciprocate my love. My love is enough for both of us. Us? I was still in the dilemma of the word. I thought you are sacrificing your life for me again. But is that true or just my hope.
It's been 5 and half years now, I was still searching for you. My search get parul back and she is happy with her new life and even she got a kid. And everyone are happy now. Devarsh became responsible now and krisha have a cute little girl. Krish,disha and manas was happily settled in USA. But baa left us 2 years back. She was the only support for me to defend you from everyone questioning you. But now, I am alone searching you. Maa and baba was still upset thinking of me. I fulfilled all my responsibilities and the wishes of our family. But I can't fulfill theirs.They asked me to live happily married? Happily married? Where will I search for happy without you in it.
My life stopped the moment you left me. I accept my defeat now Ishani. I lived in the hope to get you back. HOPE. That's what make us live our life. That end only with death. And now, I feel the hope dieing with me. Hope to see you back. Hope to live with you. Hope to cherish our childhood memories. My days are in count now. But I was not afraid of the death that is nearing me. I was afraid of the days that gonna pass without you. Will I meet you one last time Ishani? Why the time could have went back when you are with me, even this death would be beautiful in your love. I would leave my last beat with you and your love by my side. But now when you are far from me, even this life and death didn't seem more different than the hell.
If you are reading this, you remember me and came to see me. I hope my love will bring you to me someday. Hope you are living a happy life as you wish. The time when we were happy together would have ceased. Only time separate us Ishani. Everytime my heart beat that's because of you. Now, in the last stage of my life, my heart beats only for you. From the moment I saw you and till the moment my heart beats, I will say, Meri aashiqui sirf tum se hi Ishani...

With love,
Ranveer..

She was ceased. The book fell down from her hand as she looked at ranveer, only the last reminder of him hanged there. She felt her whole life dark. "The moment you leave , my life stops." His words echoed in her ears.
She thought he would be happy living his new life. But she forgot where his happiness would be? She thought he will recover and live ever after. But she didn't thought about his life ever after. She looked at him lifeless hanging in the wall one last time.
An accident killed him physically. But as soon as he get well, Anticipatory and delayed terminal grief killed him. Does it or her?
The grief is due to her.. The pain he undergo emotionally is due to her. That made him physically dead.. She made him die...

Only onething flows in her soul, if she would have been with him, they both would have had some more happy moments together and if death had to get their lives, they would face it with their love and accept it happily. Her eyes failed to move from his sight. Her mind echoed his words continuously. ..Her heart raised its beat. The reason why they left her now was cleared. The reason why her heart pumped faster few months before and why he smiled and visited her in dream was answered.

6years in the name of sacrifice for him did no good than let them live a painful death everyday apart from each other. Her reason why She lived in the past 6years; The hope of seeing him one fine day. The hope that could only end in the death of the person.. She felt her whole universe shut blank. Her mind showed her full journey of life with Ranveer in it. There is no life without him. She is nothing without him she know. She lost her life and dead the moment she moved away from him. Time could move on, but she can't. Her eyes lost its color than black. Her everysoul felt overwhelming pain. Her heart ached with the pain which seemed never ending. She could feel him, see him smile, live all her life with him again within herself until she lost her balance and fell in the floor. Only a word ,Bhabhii...was heared and felt someone trying to hold her... then no more..




Thank you everyone for reading and will be waiting for your comments. Let me know, whether it's good or bad..

Keep Smiling and take care...
Edited by Mayashelly - 8 years ago

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tellme thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#2
very emotional OS😭😭😭

this sentence from ranveer "I was afraid of the days that gonna pass without you."👍🏼

brilliant words!!! loved them.👏👏👏



glade to see many talented writers on this forum 😃😃😃

loved the way ishu realized how big mistake she did to left him😭😭😭

thanks dear for heart touching OS😃😃😃


Edited by tnzila - 8 years ago
1083735 thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#3
Dark OS, hmm. My favorite. I'll read it soon!

Elvish
PrinceAsif thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#4
Ooo...so heart touching OS...fabulous story sissy...b safe & healthy
o_gudiya thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#5
Nice to see u writing... ⭐️
And sorry now i m having lack of time..
But try to read it asap..
N reply u soon.. 😛
sakshi5050 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#6
Hey Maya
its really great
its dark but also it would be the best ending too. As they are not able to live together they have
ended their life. you gave a perfect ending for the story
I really felt the trust of Ranveer on Ishani and he was searching for her till he can
that I missed in the show on Ranveer's side
you are such a great writer dear you made me feel so much emotional
I felt like traveling with ishani's character
lovely one and speechless one 👏

1083735 thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#7
Hi, Maya! Finally I read your OS, and wow, it was overwhelming! Ranveer dying has always been a kind of my only wish from the show. And you know what? I've always thought due to Ishani's obsession with Shit that Ranveer must die and Ishani should never even get to see him. I must feel sad, I guess, but this sadist in me won't let me do so. My heart bleeds for Ranveer. I'm glad he didn't go on hating her and bitching on her with his I-will-destroy-you rant. Rather, he accepted she didn't love him, and yet tried to find her. It's a pity he couldn't. And then? An accident which almost kills him (a secret: I'd planned something like this for a one-shot long back during the Shit track itself in which Ranveer was supposed to die), and then her memories do the rest (had planned this as well *facepalms*).

I won't deny I didn't feel anything for Ishani because I certainly did. In your story, she left him and suffered for 6 freaking years! It would've killed her everyday to imagine about him, either unhappy or happy without her. She also felt when he died. Why wouldn't she?

Wow, this was hell of a powerful work! Keep it up, Maya!

However, I'd like to point out certain things in your writing.
1. When you're writing dialogues, NEVER write the way you did here unless you plan to write a play. Use dialogue tags. For example, you can write what a character says and then add in the end 'he said or she said.' Always use Quotation marks to separate dialogues from your own narrative. You can emphasize on your words by italics too. Doing bold doesn't really help in formal writing.
2. Don't be repetitive. I see you mentioned 'cease' various times in the OS. You can choose any variant. For example, in the context of your many sentences, you could've said "froze", "hitched" and so on.
3. Read. Yeah, this is obvious, no? I think it's your first time in writing? I read somewhere 'Don't start writing by writing' which I've found really true. First read (outside IF) and then try incorporating the thoughts you've learned from there in your writing. It helps a lot.
4. Grammar. There were several grammatical mistakes, beside typos, I think. When you write, take care of that too. It'll give another beauty to your writing because good grammar always attracts positives. Google search will help you in that or you can get a grammar book as well. Otherwise, reading other authors' works will help you see how the sentences are formed.

I think I've spoken a lot. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings since it wasn't my intention. Thank you. :)
1083735 thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#8
Yes. I made this account when I started writing LDE with Niki. We were both supposed to be posting our chapters from this account.
anaptiras thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#9
Hello Maya
I like the beginning of your story very much.
Please continue writing. It is interesting to read further.
Mayashelly thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: tnzila

very emotional OS😭😭😭

<div align="left">this sentence from ranveer "I was afraid of the days that gonna pass without you."👍🏼

brilliant words!!! loved them.👏👏👏



glade to see many talented writers on this forum 😃😃😃
</div>
loved the way ishu realized how big mistake she did to left him😭😭😭

thanks dear for heart touching OS😃😃😃



Hy sana. Glad you found it emotional and yeah, ranveer 😭 he is the soul lived with all the pain in his life. Happy you liked that..
Thank you so much dr. I am really glad to read such words from dr and of course I am impressed by our forum's talented writers.. Yeah, ishani realized her mistake of leaving him that she didn't in the show
Thanks for your comment. And it's my pleasure... 😉
Keep smiling and take care 😊
Edited by Mayashelly - 8 years ago

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