Whose Fault?

I've seen a lot of posts being angry with the way Shivam and his sisters treat Riya, the way Kaushalya treats Riya, etc. And while I do agree with them, I also kind of disagree with them? I think Shivam is 100% wrong in the way he treats Riya when it comes to his mother/ her adjusting. But at the same time, I was wondering, with the environment he's grown up in, does he even know how normal couples function? All he's ever seen is his dad blindly following his mom and his dad getting angry at his mom for the littlest things and his mom taking it. As kids, we imitate what we see. He grew up in this environment. So naturally, he's emulating it. He blindly supports his mother and gets angry at his wife for the littlest things. It's kinda like how when kids witness domestic abuse growing up, they tend to emulate that abuse when they get older, despite knowing that it's wrong. And so while his actions are completely wrong, are they completely his fault? Or was he failed by his parents/ family growing up? Of course I don't mean to say that he isn't at fault for her incessant shouting on Riya, lying to her, etc. But that expecting him to be a supportive husband would be a little unrealistic as he hasn't seen that I think.

Riya has grown up in a liberal family who has self-respect and isn't belittled all the time. She's confident, she's educated, she's loved and has support.

Contrast this to Kaushalya. She apparently married Raghav when she was a teenager and for over 20 yrs, has had to put up with Shanti. From her current behaviour, it's very clear that she clearly believes that Shanti does care for her in her own way and that she isn't being mistreated. Or rather, she doesn't see anything inherently wrong with the mistreatment. She's grown used to the abuse she's been subjected to. She doesn't see anything wrong with it. And so when Riya tries to pull back the blinds Kaushalya has worn and tries to show Kaushalya the truth of how Shanti mistreats her/ is evil, it's painful and she doesn't want to take off the blinds. It would mean that her entire existence would be gone. She only knows how to serve Shanti (or at least that's what she thinks). Not to mention, just like Shivam, I don't think Kaushalya knows a different life? She's obviously a very meek person and isn't as confident as Riya. So standing up for herself is not even something that exists. Isn't she also a by-product of her background? So expecting her to change in a few days/ weeks is unrealistic. The change should take at least a few months.

So I think while the characters are annoying and frustrating to watch, I also think that they are somewhat understandable in their actions?