Paryushan and the Festival of Forgiveness - Page 4

Originally posted by: tinoo

I want to thank you for this post -- I like the concept of festival of forgiveness.

I am currently struggling between taking revenge on a person who did something bad to me ... and forgiving the person. (Revenge is nothing serious so dont be alarmed 😆😆)

Anyway, there are two aspects to the situation

1. The loss that was caused to me -- this aspect I am able to easily put behind me. I believe that I can always earn more money and make it up. So I am not inclined to take action in terms of restitution of the monetary loss and time.

2. However, there is an aspect of disrespect/taking for granted which I cannot easily put behind me.

I do not want this person to think that I was an "easy touch" or just a pushover -- where he could do something to me and I dont have the guts to retelliate.

what is the difference between forgiveness and cowardly behaviour of letting the person go scot-free? from a jain perspective.

and how can I handle the disrespect towards me?

How is this aspect handled within the framework of paryushan.

Thanks in advance for your answer.

Hello. I hope you are doing well. Despite being a Jain, I don't have that much knowledge of the religion as some of my other family members do. In our religion we try never to hold grudges (as hard as that may be). When we say "Michaami Dukkadam" we mean it from the purity of our hearts because there is no point in saying sorry if we don't really mean it. You shouldn't take any disrespect from others upon you, but at the same time you shouldn't lose yourself in trying to get "even" with the other person. The person who inflicts upon cowardly behavior should realize it himself/herself. We should not follow in their footsteps. In Jainism we do not believe in holding grudges. Many things have happened inside my own family amongst all of us, but when we say Michaami Dukkadam on the last day of Paryushan (Sept 11th for me) we really want them all to sincerely forgive any wrongdoings we have done in the past. We only get this lifetime once & if we really waste it on trying to hold grudges against people then it's just a waste of time. I hope I helped. Sorry if I didn't.

Originally posted by: tinoo

One more question please --

if i am brave and forgive -- i want the other person to recognize that i have forgiven out of my choice -- and not because i was a pushover.

i.e. I want him to know that I had the choice to forgive him or take revenge -- and I CHOSE forgiveness...

not because I was not able to take revenge or because I was weak or scared of him.

Do you have any paradigm shifts for this kind of thinking?

Honestly you don't need to justify as to why you are forgiving. Let the other person think what they want. If you let go and forgive there is no other greater human than you & God will see that. Taking revenge is NEVER the solution to anything. Forgiving doesn't imply that you are scared or weak. It only implies that you are letting go of what happened, you wish best for the other person, and you want to move on. I'm not saying its an easy task, but anyone with a pure heart will have the courage to do so.

Originally posted by: Riddss

ohh ok
then satamarajo
are going to do anything???
TC

I'm not fasting so sata ma nathi. Haha.

For me its just so difficult to fast because with no food the entire day I get headaches and start getting sick. But next week after my Wed class, I'm going to try to fast on Thursday. And if all goes well I will try on Friday too.

As of now we are all just daily going to the mandhir for aarti every evening until Sept 11. :)

Cutiepie Rani, It was pleasure to read your post about rituals , being a jain , knew nothing about it , should say was not interested ...

Hello. I hope you are doing well. Despite being a Jain, I don't have that much knowledge of the religion as some of my other family members do. In our religion we try never to hold grudges (as hard as that may be). When we say "Michaami Dukkadam" we mean it from the purity of our hearts because there is no point in saying sorry if we don't really mean it. You shouldn't take any disrespect from others upon you, but at the same time you shouldn't lose yourself in trying to get "even" with the other person. The person who inflicts upon cowardly behavior should realize it himself/herself. We should not follow in their footsteps. In Jainism we do not believe in holding grudges. Many things have happened inside my own family amongst all of us, but when we say Michaami Dukkadam on the last day of Paryushan (Sept 12th for me) we really want them all to sincerely forgive any wrongdoings we have done in the past. We only get this lifetime once & if we really waste it on trying to hold grudges against people then it's just a waste of time. I hope I helped. Sorry if I didn't.
Loved reading your thoughts in above , para ...Thank you

Michami Dukadaam to everyone.

Originally posted by: Cutiepie Rani

I'm not fasting so sata ma nathi. Haha.

For me its just so difficult to fast because with no food the entire day I get headaches and start getting sick. But next week after my Wed class, I'm going to try to fast on Thursday. And if all goes well I will try on Friday too.

As of now we are all just daily going to the mandhir for aarti every evening until Sept 11. :) oh ok😛

oh ok
but if u want u can do ekasana(means it one time) or byasana(means eat 2 time)
TC

@Riddss - Idk. Haha. But I'm def going to try this week.

Originally posted by: Cutiepie Rani

@Riddss - Idk. Haha. But I'm def going to try this week.

if not some vrats and all
what I normally do is practice some rules, like
1) not eat after sunset
2)not drink water after 12 am
3) do not eat biscuits, bread, maggi etc, the readymade food
4) i even try restricting my self to eat 5 hari (vegetables and fruits)

after I finished my 10 year fasting on dhoop dashami i did my udyaapan and do not feel like fasting any more
so i stick to some rules and follow them for 10 days

i wanted to do a ekashanu today but my mom and foi said you have to declare it the day before if you want to. so i'll try on thursday maybe.