essay helppp!!!

My cultural background and experiences will help me adjust to college life and they will also help me to handle the challenges that I will encounter .I have shaped myself as a unique individual. My idiosyncratic culture has allowed my to develop a tolerance for all cultures. Extremely to colleges, my hometown where I lived for ten years, Belleville ,NJ is also a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. Using this as an advantage, I can contribute to the various cultures at any University by sharing my own culture among others while aiding them as they learn to develop respect and tolerance for these many amazing cultures . My various cultural experiences and travels formulate me as the perfect candidate to contribute to many university's cultural diversity.

Another asset would definitely be my struggles as a very young girl arriving to new country which is U.S.A. I was about nine years when my family decided to move here. We went through many obstacles to get here. In the search for a better life and a better education we had to make many sacrifices. It was not easy for any of us. especially my parents, starting a new life in unknown country extremely hard but many people have accomplished the American dream, so why not us?. We went form from buying a house ,to new school, new job, and new life style. We no longer had the same life like we use to back in India it was different here. We had to start everything from scratch. I was an complete alien to the students in my school. It was very hard for me to understand their culture because I was not familiar to the language or the new trends. Because of this disadvantage of me not being able to speak English influenced students to automatically made me an easy target to bully. That was my motivation in life to learn English and to prove to my generation that I was as strong as they were and that I can do ever I wanted too. I never let that get in my way, my parents have taught me to always stand tall and to always keep my head up. So keeping their advice in mind , I went through my elementary school years without a trouble . I learned how to speak English in no time. After I did I made new friends and I was able to communicate with them better.

I Have had the privilege of spending about two months in Borsad , India. During my excursion, I was able to visit many new and ancient temples and villages. It was extremely interesting observing the lifestyles of the citizens of India, and relating their ways of living to the American traditions I am so familiar with. I traveled to many different cities in India-- each with its different fascinating societies. However, I have learned that diversity in culture can be found anywhere and it is not necessary to travel half way around the globe. I also learned of many different cultures on my voyages to London ,Canada, Virginia, Georgia, South Carolina ,Pennsylvania, Mary land ,Chicago, and New York. Through these travels, I have acquired the abilities to accept many different cultures with respect and curiosity.

For my entire life, I have been surrounded with cultural diversity and I was very excited to learn Rutgers was no different. I have had the honor of introducing culture in my school. In my school, there are very few Indians, and the very few that are present are quite timid due to belonging to a minority. Being the extrovert that I am, I love teaching others about my wonderful culture, and encouraging them to do the same. I plan to continue doing this at Rutgers also!

Originally posted by: sexymartiini

hey guys can u proff read my essayy for mee................

what part of the essay should i put my clubs and activities?

Essay: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.

My cultural background and experiences will help me adjust to college life and they will also help me to handle the challenges that I will encounter. I have shaped myself as a unique individual. My idiosyncratic culture has allowed my (me) to develop a tolerance for all cultures. Extremely to colleges, (not needed) my hometown where I (I've) lived for ten years, Belleville, NJ is also a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. Using this as an advantage, I can contribute to the various cultures at any University by sharing my own culture among others, while aiding them as they learn to develop respect and tolerance for these many, amazing cultures. (sentence is little bit complicated, consider revising) My various cultural experiences and travels formulate me as the perfect candidate to contribute to many university's cultural diversity.

Another asset would definitely be my struggles as a very young girl arriving to (a) new country, which is U.S.A. I was about nine years when my family decided to move here. We went through many obstacles to get here. In the search for a better life and a better education we had to make many sacrifices. It was not easy for any of us, especially my parents.Starting a new life in (an) unknown country (is) extremely hard but many people have accomplished the American dream, so why not us? We went form (not needed) from buying a house, to new school, new job and new life style. We no longer had the same life like we used to (have) back in India, it was different here. We had to start everything from scratch. I was an (a) complete alien to the students in my school. It was very hard for me to understand their culture because I was not familiar to the language or the new trends. Because of (not needed and it's grammatically incorrect to start a sentence with because) this disadvantage, of me not being able to speak English, influenced students to automatically made me an easy target to bully (either make it, 'influenced students to automatically make me an easy target for bullying' OR 'automatically made me an easy target for bullying). That was my motivation in life to learn English and to prove to my generation that I was (am) as strong as they were (are) and that I can do (what)ever I wanted (want) too (to). I never let that (what?) get in my way. My parents have taught me to always stand tall and to always keep my head up. So keeping their advice in mind, I went through my elementary school years without a trouble. I learned (learnt. Learned is used in case of a learned person but when you learn something, it's learnt) how to speak English in no time. After I did (did what? I know you're referring to learning English but it might be better to write 'learnt english' as this is for the uni), I made new friends and I was able to communicate with them better.

I Have had the privilege of spending about two months in Borsad, India. During my excursion, I was able to visit many new and ancient temples and villages. It was extremely interesting, observing the lifestyles of the citizens of India (consider changing it to 'Indian citizens'), (comma is not needed) and relating their ways of living to the American traditions I am so familiar with. I traveled to many different cities in India-- each with its different fascinating societies. However, I have learned (learnt) that diversity in culture can be found anywhere and it is not necessary to travel half way around (consider changing it to across) the globe. I also learned (learnt) of ('about' is a more apt word here) many different cultures on my voyages to London ,Canada, Virginia, Georgia, South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Mary land, Chicago and New York. Through these travels, I have acquired the abilities (since you're talking about a single ability here, ideally it should be 'ability' instead of 'abilities') to accept many different cultures with respect and curiosity.

For my entire life, I have been surrounded with cultural diversity and I was very excited to learn (that) Rutgers was no different. I have had the honor of introducing culture in my school (this sounds a bit odd, as if your school was previously not cultured. I think you mean to say 'Indian culture in my school'). In my school, there are very few Indians, (comma not needed) and the very few that are present are quite timid due to belonging to a minority. Being the extrovert that I am, I love teaching others about my wonderful culture, (comma not needed) and encouraging (encourage) them to do the same. I plan to continue doing this at Rutgers also!