9: Truce
"Damnit!"
Rishabh paced the hallway.
"Where could she have gone at this hour, or did she leave way before? Madhu is new to the neighborhood. What if she gets lost?" He stopped midstride. "How will she call for help? She doesn't even have a cell phone. Gosh!" He slapped a fist against the wall. "Me and my stupidity! How can anybody survive in a place like this without a phone or money?"
He glanced at the kitchen counter where he was used to dumping his keys and pocket change... Everything looked as is, undisturbed.
Did she go to Sujoy's? She possibly could have, but so early in the morning? No, he didn't think so. Somehow he didn't believe she would have taken that route. She was someone who liked to keep things to herself until the situation went overboard like it had with him. He guessed Des's phone call had broken the camel's back and, of course, his insensitive addendum.
In the least, I should make sure she's not in the vicinity. She could be sitting on the stairs or even somewhere on the grounds crying. He didn't think she would have ventured far.
Slipping on his sandals, he rushed out in his pjs. It was a cold September morning, fall was in the air, chilling him to the bone, goose bumps puckered up all over his skin. But what about her? She had only a thin silk sari on that he could recall, the maroon one"the one he liked. Had she worn it especially for him?
"Damn! How uncaring can I get?"
He wandered around the well-worn paths in a state of anxious agitation, scouring the park benches, the cobblestone plaza around the fountain which graced the entryway to the apartments, and the pavement which circled the complex before heading out to one of the busy roads. He didn't see anybody around who even vaguely resembled a sad and lonely girl in a maroon sari.
Overcome by a severe malaise, he leaned against an old sycamore tree when he heard the unmistakable sound of a young pup tugging on a leash; it's plaintive yelps followed by those of a young girl struggling to control it.
"Oops sorry! Pepper is still learning."
Rishabh smiled as the tiny Westie frolicked at his feet while sniffing at his sandals. "It's fine, she looks harmless. By the way, have you seen a girl maybe this tall" "indicating a level slightly above his shoulder" "in a maroon umm...wraparound dress anywhere?"
"You mean a sari?"
"Yes, a sari."
"Oh... Is she the pretty Indian lady who stands at the window sometimes and waves at me?" she asked, pointing toward the window of Madhu's bedroom, beneath which they stood.
"Yes, she's the one. Have you seen her today?"
"No...sorry." Shrugging her shoulders, she turned to walk away.
"Darn!"
"Is she your wife?" The girl stopped, looking over her shoulder.
"Ye...yes, she is."
"She has sad eyes just like Mom does sometimes. Hope you find her quickly."
"Thanks, I hope so too."
She has sad eyes...
Why wouldn't she, as the unlucky victim of his misguided frustrations. He could have at least treated her like a human being.
Heading back, he scoured the apartment carefully looking for clues; something, anything that would indicate her intentions. He turned her bedroom upside down but couldn't find any notes, suicide or otherwise. She wouldn't take such an extreme step. She would behave rationally, he thought.
Sitting on the bed, he pulled open the drawers of the nightstand and found what appeared to be a diary closed tight with a clasp. He took it out and wavered slightly before opening it, feeling like a voyeur invading someone's most private sanctum without permission, but it might offer a clue. The pages were numbered and dated, the words penned in a neat cursive script.
She didn't write every day, rather jotted down her thoughts at random. There were some entries from the year before...
I don't like Satish at all! He speaks very nice, but the way he looks at me"I feel unclean. I hope he comes under a truck someday!
Rishabh smiled, she wrote with emotion! Then another entry a few days later.
Dad is such a sweetheart. He said he'd never force me to get married. I will always stay with him and Mama forever and ever.
Then two months ago:
There was that stupid punditji again at our house asking to see if Dad was willing to consider a proposal from some Ahujas for their youngest son who lives abroad. Idiots! Don't they know Dad has no intention of sending me away?
Rishabh didn't want to read any further, but his curiosity got the better of him.
Dad said we could pretend to show some interest in the match because the boy's father is his close friend, and it would be rude to refuse without even considering. Anyways, the final decision is mine.
I saw his picture and said yes.
Rishabh snapped the book shut, he couldn't read anymore; she had accepted him as her husband, and he had broken her heart. "How I hate myself!"
He searched the bed and chanced upon the well-worn copy of Shri Hanuman Chalisa. She slept with it under her pillow. He remembered her reciting it in the airplane while keeping her eyes tight shut. She wouldn't have gone too far without it, of that he was certain.
Somewhat reassured, he took a quick shower then went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Ganesha was sitting in his corner looking rather lonely without his light. Rishabh topped the oil in the lamp and lit it.
Nearly four hours had passed since she'd left. What if she didn't come back? He would have to call her Dad, but what would he tell him? That his son-in-law couldn't take care of his wife?
Where else could he look for her?
"Perhaps I should call Sooj. But he will pelt me with questions I will have no proper answers for." Running trembling fingers through his scalp, he swore, "Damn me and my runaway tongue!"
He chose to go to work for some time.
But he didn't make it. Instead, he stopped at his regular coffee shop and sat for a long time staring at the blank computer screen with the untouched brew growing cold on the side.
What if she wants to bolt? She can't. She has no moolah for a train or bus ticket.
What if she jumps off a bridge? But the nearest one is at least twenty miles away, and she doesn't look like the jumping kind.
What if she is lying helpless somewhere, tied up, kidnapped, assaulted, raped, or even murdered!
Madhu Sharma dies a painful death because her husband abused and then abandoned her!
Rishabh could see the headlines in big black bold letters with a picture of him in handcuffs being led to the courthouse underneath.
"I guess I would deserve it!"
Determined to call Sujoy and then the police, he hurried back to the apartment and slammed the door open.
"Is that you, Rishabh?"
"Madhu!"
Rushing in, he found her standing behind the kitchen counter smiling, holding a spatula in her hand. It was dripping red sauce.
Nearly collapsing with relief, he said, "Where... Where did you go?"
"I went for a walk. A very long one. It was good! You should take one, too, some time." She sounded flippant.
He grew furious. She had put him through so much.
"Why the hell...?" He paused, counting to five. "Why didn't you care to inform me before leaving?"
Putting the spatula down, she calmly turned off the stove.
"Given the mental state I was in, instead of telling you, I'd have probably preferred to kill you. Consider yourself lucky."
He gaped at her astounded while she threw her head back and laughed.
"Are you all right? Maybe you should sit down." He said.
"Of course I am fine. Very much so and I'd rather stand, thank you." She grinned at him as she stood there with hands on her hips. Wearing a dark green and pink V-necked cotton top over blue jeans, her hair casually caught up in a ponytail, she looked lovely and innocent like a child and very much changed. It felt as though he was in the presence of Madhu's twin.
"I...I'm sorry. No, not sorry, I mean... I want to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have said what I said."
"No, don't apologize! You said the truth. I have no right to poke around in your personal affairs."
"You have every right to do so."
"Why? Because I am your official wife, bound to you by a loveless marriage that's going to end in the space of another month anyway? Your relationship with this Des (it was obvious she didn't like her much) has lasted much longer, and you value it a lot more than you do us."
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Well, mister, hurt me you did! That much is true. I was naive enough to believe that by adopting the role of an ideal Indian wife who waits on her husband hand and foot, I could win you over." She laughed again, wryly this time. "What an idiot you must have taken me to be."
"Madhu, please... Don't demean yourself. I do appreciate what you've done for me so far."
"Yes, you appreciate it. What a nice way of saying thanks for your help, you can go now'."
"I didn't mean that, you've got it all wrong." He rushed to correct her.
She looked directly at him, "It's okay, Rishabh. I don't feel anything anymore. I have reconciled myself to our situation. I'd have left last night, but I feared my father wouldn't be able to handle the shock, so I've decided to stay a little longer in order to break it to him gently."
She pointed to her bare neck and forehead. "I also felt wearing these any longer is ridiculous, so I took them off. Hope you understand."
He nodded, but was surprised by a considerable twinge of disappointment.
"I've been thinking a lot but have been unable to arrive at a reasonable solution. I'm frustrated, Rishabh. What is the best path we can take, which will also be the least traumatic to our loved ones?" she asked, looking at him with all seriousness.
"Uh..."
"Also, I know it isn't proper for me to live here with you anymore, but then where do I go? I'd love to work, and I'm well qualified. Do you think I can get a decent job?"
"I'm not sure. It'll probably be difficult to get anything quick, and you don't even possess a work visa. You don't have to go anywhere..." He sensed a feeling of agitation.
"Oh, yes, you're right. Anyways, who will hire me for just a month?" She began pacing the floor thinking aloud, "I could approach a woman's shelter. No," rejecting the notion with a decisive wave of her hand. "I don't want to get you into any kind of trouble!"
Then she sighed, shrugging her shoulders in resignation. "The only option left would be to stay here if you don't mind, that is."
"Of course. You can stay here for as long as you wish!"
"Another month, that's all. I promise not to interfere in your life in any way. I'll soon start dropping hints to my parents that we aren't happy together. It'd be nice if you could contribute too, will make it a lot easier to persuade them."
"This is going way too fast. We should give it some more time perhaps." Rishabh couldn't believe what he was saying.
"No, we are done. I am done! I want to leave at the end of the month, or before if it works out, and I want to be free to do as I please."
"What do you mean? Aren't you free now?"
Her dark eyes were filled with singular resolve. "I meant free to go where I want and do what I please, no questions asked. Don't worry, I'm not into smoking, alcohol, or drugs nor am I interested in having boyfriends." She smiled. "I don't intend to cause you any more pain than I already have."
He was dumbstruck; she had thought out everything very well. It was hard not to admire her gutsiness. A lesser person would have broken down completely.
She stepped up to him. "If it's not too much to ask, can we spend the remaining time in a civilized manner by calling a truce? I will give it my best. You are after all a nice guy. Could we just be friends? Friends without benefits?"
tbc
PS: I was itching to get to this part of the story. Now that I'm here I'm happy.
CID
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
