Am I In Love: Obsession Vs Passion CH 7 updt Page 68 (12/1) - Page 34

CHAPTER-5

One glance at the living room and he knew exactly what could have happened some time before.

RK(howling): "MADHU..."

The guards come running to him. They form a line in front of him in a stand-at-is position and hang their heads down.

Guard1 (calmly) : " today ma'm tried to escape from the house. When we tried to stop her, she created this mess. SORRY CHIEF."

Guard2 (calmly) : " we tried to control her. But she became more wild. There was no other option left to us other than to lock her in her room, sorry chief."

RK(through gritted teeth) : " EVERYONE OUT. I NEED TO TALK TO MADHU ALONE."

RK climbs the stairs and reaches her room. He opens the door and the next second madhu got up from the bed and glared at him. Her face was tear stricken, lips shivering, eyes red and her hair unruly. He closed his eyes as though in pain. She was the girl he wanted to keep happy and here she stands before him, a mess which irritated him more. He runs his hand through his hair and closes his eyes and when he opens it, he was calm enough to talk to madhu without shouting.

RK (controlling his anger and tries his calm self with her) : " madhu, what is the problem with you, dear? here I am doing everything in my power to keep you happy but yet you defy me, try to run away from the house, take those birth control pills without my permission and also even after knowing how badly I crave for a baby with you. I don't understand why are you doing this?? What is the problem with you in staying with me??????

Madhu to herself : "goodness me!!!!!!!!! how does he know that I have been taking birth control pills??? Why is he calm towards me even after knowing this??? I don't want his nice behavior now. Face him madhu common. It's now or never."

RK (walks slowly towards her) : "madhu..."

Madhu (cutting in the middle. When he was about to touch her, she glares at him and he stops midway ) : " Don't touch me (she moves backward) can't you understand a simple thing as this that I don't want to live with you?? I want to go back to my family. You can't stop me here without my will. Today you succeeded but tomorrow, I will definitely run away. (pointing her finger at RK)So it's better you yourself send me home.(in her anger she started throwing things at him. Firstly he tried to convince her calmly but she was wild to control. RK was by now slowly losing his temper. He went forward to her and held her arm)"

RK (angrily) : " here I am trying everything in my power to keep you happy and you want to betray me and go back to those people who cheated you and sold you to that fuc**r Mukund."

Madhu (taken aback by the sudden outburst of RK as he was never angry with her. The thing which hurt her the most was the truth rather than the anger) : " Don't you dare lie. I know you. You will do and say anything to keep me confined in here. But Mr. Rishab Kundra, I am not going to fall for your trap. I will kill you if you say a word against my family."

RK(still angry at her) : "so you think I am a liar. I have kept these things to myself all these years and you are naming me a liar. Come I will show you. today I will clear off all your doubts regarding me." (with this RK grabs her hands and proceeds towards the music room. He makes her sit on the couch and busies himself in loading a CD on the player.)

Madhu to herself : " what is he saying? Is it true? Am I sold???????? How can that be? My mom and my sis ... I love them so much ... Nooo... I should not doubt them and trust this Kundra... I should keep my faith in them. It can't be like that... he is lying."

When she was busy in her thoughts, a CD was loaded and madhu was made to face the worst truth of her life that indeed her mother sold her to Mukund for her sister's wedding. All her worst fears came into reality. She always knew that her step mother loved her sister more than her but not in her wildest dreams she thought that her mother would sell her to get money for her daughter's wedding. Madhu didn't know what to say or do before RK. He knew the truth and yet he kept her in the dark. On the other hand RK was cursing himself for taking this step. In a fit of anger he grew wild and showed her the truth which he had vowed to himself of not showing her all through his life. That fact was that he was not able to digest that madhu was thinking of leaving him and going back to her family that cheated her. What if they sold her to another man?? The mere thought of another man touching her was like twisting a knife on his soul which he would not let happen even if it costs him his life. She was his and he was determined to make her accept this very fact asap. Madhu was heart broken and she left the room without saying a word and marched towards her room though RK did not follow her. He found it best to give her some space to digest the reality that she was made to go through. Hours passed but none of them came out. Though RK wanted to go to her, hug her and soothe her off her pain, he controlled himself. After much time, he found himself lying on the couch in his room and before he slept off, he decided to have a look on madhu with or without her knowledge. When he went to her room, the door was ajar and she was not in her room. RK was shivering literally. All painful thoughts filled his mind.

RK to himself : "What if she left meee??????? NO...NO... she can't do that... where will she go from here?????? she has nowhere to go. I am as sure as hell that she will never go back to motihari."

He was running all through the house searching for her and at last found her in the terrace where she was ready to finish her life. She was preparing herself to jump off the terrace and when she saw RK enter the terrace, she said.

Madhu : " I was waiting for you RK. I first thought of finishing my life without even informing you but I have done many wrongs to you and if I die without asking for your forgiveness I wouldn't be in peace even after death. Plz forgive me for all the bad things that I have done to you. I AM SO..."

RK (cutting her in the middle and howling literally at her) : " DON'T BE A FOOL, MADHU. COME BACK TO ME. I DIDN'T SHOW THAT VIDEO TO YOU SO THAT YOU WOULD TAKE THIS FOOLISH STEP. I FEARED THAT YOU WOULD LEAVE ME AND GO BACK TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO USED YOU AND WHAT IF THEY SOLD YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR MONEY. YOU BELONG TO ME MADHU AND ONLY I DECIDE WITH YOUR LIFE. EVEN YOU DON'T HAVE RIGHTS TO DECIDE SUCH STUPID THINGS ABOUT YOUR LIFE. SO STOP THIS NONSENSE AND COME BACK TO ME. I WARN YOU ( he marches slowly towards her and stretches out his hands)"

Madhu : " NO, RK. go back. I have decided this. I don't want to live anymore. You go back to your family and live happily with your mother and wife. My life has to end anyway...why would I want to live, RK???????? I have no one in this life???? They all cheated me and I can't take this anymore. I am burning inside. I will feel better if I end this good for nothing life... I don't want to live and after my death I want you to go back to your family, that's my last wish. Plz RK. Good bye and one more thing... I AM SORRY ...PLZ FORGIVE ME...I have no rights to say anything to you when my own family(sobs)... you were always good to me and you took care of me and I misunderstood you... ..THANKS FOR EVERYTHING... I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE..."

RK by now knew that it was no use talking to her and he stealthily but quickly reaches her and grabs her hand and yanks it down and she falls on his chest in a move. He raised his hand and slapped hard on her face for thinking of leaving him and she cried hardly not coz of the physical pain caused to her by RK but she was unable to take the betrayal of her family. He closed his eyes to control his anger. She cried her heart out and much later when she calmed down, he sat near her and spoke up.

RK (kissed hard on her cheek where he slapped and rubbed soothingly): "LISTEN FIRSTLY, DON'T REPEAT THIS STUPIDITY. I WILL KILL YOU DEFINITELY WITH MY OWN HANDS IF YOU REPEAT THIS AGAIN. Madhu, you are not leaving me in this life. I won't let you do that. I can't live without you. I have told you this many times and that too effectively as I recall.

SECONDLY, I don't hate my mom or dipali coz of you. I don't love them coz they are not worthy of it. They don't love me madhu. They just love the status that I am in now. They will leave me once nothing will be left with me. You always wanted to know why I don't go to my mansion. It's coz they left me when I needed them the most and It's not for you to worry about, madhu.

PLZZZ PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON'T REPEAT THIS AGAIN. I LOVE YOU AND I AM CRAZY ABOUT YOU AND DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS FOR ME TO KEEP MY HANDS OFF YOU WHEN YOU ARE SO NEAR ME AND THAT TOO WHEN YOUR LIPS ARE SO SOFT DUE TO CRYING...(with a smirk on his face)"

Madhu (still sobbing) : " why didn't you tell me earlier? What was the need for you to keep me in the dark??? I blamed you for everything but my own family...(sobs heavily)."

RK (consolingly) : " if I wanted I could have told you earlier but I sensed that you loved your family so much and I know how it feels when our own family leaves us to be alone in times of need. How can I bring such pain to the one I love???? First it was just obsession for me towards you but later it became my passion and my love. Madhu, I will do anything in my power to keep you happy and it doesn't matter if I have to put the whole blame on me for your happiness."

Madhu (much later and heartily) : "Thank you"

RK : " you don't have to thank me coz I am only being selfish since my happiness lies in your happiness."

Madhu glares at him in shock and then giggles happily even in between her sorrows hearing his heartfelt confessions but she still was not in a good mood to think straight about anything other than her family's betrayal. But for the time being she believed that one day everything will be alright and she will wait for that day. Later RK carries her to her room and makes her lie on bed and she goes to sleep. RK knew that it will take time for her to forget everything and move on in life and he decided to wait for her recovery from the shock.

ONE WEEK LATER

Madhu was slowly recovering from the shock but still was not confident of her relation with RK. Now in a more calmer mood it was pretty evident to her that RK not only cared for her but also loved her. She knew that she has started to care and also fall for RK that too very very badly. RK was very handsome but she never noticed it before due to her inner hatred towards him but now his depth of love towards her was compelling her to fall for RK. but she still believed that she was coming in between RK and his wife. Though she never rebelled against RK after that incident, she also never allowed RK to move closely with her. The revelation of the hidden truth behind her life also did not change the mind set of her relation with RK. On the other hand, RK still had hopes that one day madhu will realise his love for her and come back to him and this time instead of forcing her, he decided to give her enough time and wait for her. One day while they were having their dinner,

Madhu(calm and determined) : "RK, I have decided regarding my life. I am going to get my certificates from the university and am going to apply for some bank vacancies. Since I have experience in my work I will get it easily."

RK(shocked and runs his hand through his hair to calm down his anger) : " why are you doing this to me??????? Are you really trying to wound me?????"

Madhu(slurring) : " NOOO...NEVER. I will never ever hurt you, RK. How can I hurt a person who thinks so much about me?? But RK, I can't be a part of your life. You are married and I don't want to ruin your life. We can be good friends though all through our life. Plz try and understand."

RK : " I know that I am your friend now and you care for me. But I want to be more in your life. I want to be everything in your life. I want me to be the center of your life."

Madhu : " it can never be like that, RK. For heaven's sake RK just look at our relation. I am your mis..."

RK(glaring at her) : " Don't you even dare use that cheap word for yourself...YOU ARE MY WIFE DAMN IT. (they both look at each other for sometime and madhu steals her eyes from him. Suddenly anger clouded RK's eyes)...OK madhu you want to leave me right... just tell me that you don't love me and walk out. I won't stop you. (madhu is in a whirl and he moves closer to madhu and she steps back until she hits on the wall) But you have to tell me those words clearly and by looking into my eyes...(madhu keeps silent and only tears escapes her eyes)...just that madhu and you can go away from me.(madhu sobs uncontrollably)... Common say it and then you are free forever. (madhu gives RK a pleading and plz-let-me-go look and RK was giving her a don't-even-think-of-it look. RK was determined to make her realize her love for him. He was tired of waiting for her. He was confident that she loved him coz in the past few days she had shown it to him enough number of times and she has to accept it.)...madhu I am going to kiss you and if you don't love me then you can do whatever you want with me. You can even kill me and I won't say a thing.( saying this RK cages her and she struggles to escape. Her heart was accepting him but her mind was rebelling against his proximity thinking of her position in his life.)

RK moves closer to her and pecks on her lips and she blushes without her concern. Though her hands struggled against the peck, her lips gave away and asked for more. The moment he touched, she was not in her self and she relished his touch. Seeing her blush, he once again gives her a proper kiss and sweeps his tongue into her mouth and tasting everything that he could get from there and his hands moved sexily and possessively all through her body making her moan and respond to his touch. He carried her on his arms to his room and now she stopped struggling and happily circled her arms around his neck and whispered "I LOVE YOU" near his ears. Those words just escaped her mouth even though she tried hard to confine them within her heart. RK was very happy and was out of the world to hear her love confessions and her response to his touches. He was always confident that she will love him and one day she will accept him but he cursed now himself for not revealing the truth before. But anyday sooner than the later. He gets her to his room and madhu clearly knew his intensions. But she can't prolong her relation with RK as long as she knew the truth. They both loved each other but he was married and she did not want to ruin his family life.

Madhu(keeping a smug face) : "RK, I want to talk to you. I don't want to ruin your family life. I think you should go back to dipali and start your life anew. Whatever it is RK everyone makes mistakes and you should give your marriage a chance. Relations are meant to be preserved for a lifetime, RK."

RK(keeping a straight face) : " can't you be a little romantic? Now only you told me that you love me and yet you talk about that bitch. There are many more things to be discussed between us."

Madhu (pouting) : " like..."

RK : " like when are you going to give me my baby??? Let's plan on it."

Madhu : " RK I can't give you a baby. It's not my right. I think you should ask dipali."

RK( brushing his lips on her face and neck and shoulders and sometimes playfully biting there and madh winces in pain) : " madhu, she will never be able to give me my heir coz I haven't ever touched her and I will never touch her. I don't have any feelings for her."

Madhu (shocked) : " what!!!!!!!! You haven't touched her before. How can that be RK????? She is your wife."

RK (continuing with his ministrations and his hands reaches the hem of her t-shirt) : " she left me the day we got married. OK."

Madhu(both shocked and surprised) : " what! She left you, why???? But if she left you then how come she is with you now? Tell me plzzz???????"

RK (pleading) : " I will tell you later . now plz allow me to relish this moment."

Madhu (frowning) : " NO, I want to know. I am confused. Plz tell me."

RK (determined) : " FIRST BED THEN INFORMATION. PLZ DON'T MAKE ME WAIT MORE. I WANT TO MAKE LOVE TO YOU NOW AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW GOOD YOU ARE IN BED????????? COMMON ...COME FAST."

Madhu sighs heavily but she knew that the discussion is over between them. RK drags her and pushes her on the bed and lies on top of her. Then he smooches her hard on her lips and bites them. Then he concentrates on her bosoms and repeats the same action. Madhu could do nothing but yelp in pain. But this time madhu matched his fervor in his every move. Madhu was too good in bed but no amount of passion from her side could match RK's passion and obsession for her. After long hours of love making, both of them lay sprawled on the bed panting for breath.

RK : " you okay, madhu?????"

Madhu : " yeah... But you are so like an animal with me in bed. Not only now, I have always noticed."

RK (laughing heartily) : " why would you say that?"

Madhu(keeping a puppy face) : " you don't know then see this...(removes the duvet off the upper half of her nude body) see how many marks and hickeys you have given me."

RK (touching the marks possessively) : " does it hurt you??????? Sorry, I lose control whenever I see you."

Madhu (sloshing his hands off her) : " I don't want more of them. NOW SPEAK UP. I want to know many things. How did you get that recording??? How you first knew about me? why you hate dipali and your mom??? Why do you love me so much???? All these mystries are pissing me off...plz RK."

RK : " madhu, I know you are hungry for information. But you went through so much these days. So plz sleep, we will talk tomorrow."

Madhu : " I am not sad RK. I mean I know she loves meetha more than me. But she will stoop so low was not within my digesting limit. That came as a shocker for me."

RK : " why did you even think of finishing your life that day? You know what I went through at that moment. I felt my world had crushed down."

Madhu : " SORRY, I suddenly felt alone in this cruel world."

RK : " with me alive you will never be alone in this world. I will always be with you."

Madhu to herself : " these words are soothing but for how long???? I shouldn't have confessed to him that I love him. Now he will never leave me out of his life. Am I doing something wrong by being in a relation with a married man... it's totally against my cultures and I am ruining a family... what shall I do?? now he is pestering me for a baby...how can I give him a baby...it's not my right...I should continue with my pills without letting him know... "

RK (pecking on her lips) : " hey what are you thinking??????"

Madhu: " no, I was just...you know right now I want to talk about something else...plzz"

RK(stern and determined) : " go to sleep madhu. We will talk tomorrow."

Madhu : " OK FINE. I tell you there is no escaping tomorrow."

She was very tired due to little sleep the previous days, she hits the bed and goes into a deep slumber not before seeing a large smirk on RK's face due to her silly threat. RK making sure that she has slept deeply slowly moves more closer towards her. He caresses her cheeks in her sleepy form, smirks inwardly and kisses her forehead lovingly. He snuggles close to her and makes her lie on his chest and covers her by surrounding his arms over her neck and shoulder and his mind wanders on the day he very firstly saw Madhu.

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RK's POV (continuation)

After a month Mukund gave me a call and told me that he has made everything ready but I need to meet her mother to get everything finalized and I agreed to meet them on a weekend. All my friends thought that I had become mad to do such things for a girl. To be more frank she was too beautiful to be ignored and at the first sight of her in the port folio itself, I had developed a passion within myself to get her at any cost. There it was decided that we would meet at mukund's house. Mukund has CCTV camera attached in his house. He ONs the camera whenever he does business to avoid conflicts. Her mother, a middle aged woman, looked more like a witch to me, came there at the appointed time. Realizing my determination to get madhu one way or the other, she increased the amount to 20 lakhs. I was dumbstruck not coz of the amount but by her shamelessness. By that time I was determined to get madhu out from her grip even if it costs me a small fortune. My innocent madhu does not deserve to live with that bitch.(he caressed the sleeping form of madhu and kissed her chastely on her lips and madhu's lips curved into a half smile even in her sleep.) after the deal was over he gave me a CD of the happenings at his house. Though I did not value that much at that time, that CD only brought my madhu to me. I asked mukund to bring madhu to Mumbai but I didn't know that she was brought on the pretext of a good job in Mumbai. On the D-Day, I drank a little more than usual , overwhelmed by the fact that after lot of waiting madhu was finally going to be mine. But when madhu refrained from accepting the reality, I was shattered and felt cheated and under the influence of the alcohol, I forced myself on her. I knew that she was sold without her concern and she loved her family dearly. The next day I apologized to her for my behavior but she didn't listen to me and threatened to run away from the house in my absence. She left me with no choice other than to put security guards to have a close watch on her.

Taming madhu was one of the difficult things I have ever encountered in my life. All the girls I have seen in my life can be easily brought within control with expensive gifts but unfortunately neither my money nor the gifts brought by me for her made her change her mind set about me. She was a girl of morals and values which I lacked and she never ceased to amaze me in each turn of my life. Her values were much more precious to her than the money I owned so she never cared about money. Life went on like that and after a few days she got used to that life(probably coz she knew there was no other way for her other than to comply with me though she tried her vain attempts to run away from me many times and got caught and the results were mindblowing...for meee) and whenever I needed, she gave herself to me though not willingly. But I didn't care coz I needed it the most at that stage of my life. I never recognized ( in fact not bothered to recognize) what relation I had with madhu, how long I was going to keep her with me, what was the future of it but I enjoyed her company, having sex with her and her morals even though she hated me.

Then one day, I took the worst decision of my life. A decision, which changed my life completely. A decision, which I regret even to this day. A decision, which is refraining me from making madhu all mine.

MY DECISION OF MARRYING DIPALI.

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With Love

Sufi