Posted:
As promised .. i am back with another Ohh Ass (OS) and trust me or not all the characters, situations and incidents mentioned in this piece of writing are purely fictional except for one and thats I, me and myself 🤣🤣🤣
characters: RK-Madhu
Location: bed room
Situation: The great revelation of madhu's pregnancy.
RK rushes to his bed room to ask Madhu why she just spoiled the gorgeous outfit (he borrowed from a dress man) by sprawling on the floor to flaunt her dress and her eye shadow?
RK: madhu what happened?
Madhu: ☺️
RK: madhu for God's sake tell me what happened to your dress?
Madhu: 😲 I thought you were worried for me?
RK: off course I am worried for you *feeling guilty*
Madhu: RK we are doing to become 2 se 3 ☺️
RK: how? I dont think humans can undergo binary-fission? 😲
Madhu: no silly! I am Pregnant, you're gonna be a papa soon ☺️
RK: WHAT? Wha... TTT... W...h...a...t *echo effect* Kalmuhi, kulta... kis ke sath mounh kala ker ke ayi ho? kiska paap ha yeh? 😡
Madhu: *shocked* WT EFFF? what are you saying?
RK: what do youu expect me to say? in my movies whenever I impregnate my heroines, their mothers ask the same things to them... 🤣
Madhu: *hurt* but its our baby RK. its not a paap.. its our love...
RK: oh, I am sorry Madhu I really didnt know how to react in such situations.
Madhu: its ok,,, you're happy no?
RK: yes I am Madhu, but I am worried for you at the same time... you'll have to carry the baby for 9 months.
Madhu: I am more than happy to do that,, and every woman has to carry her baby in her womb, I am not doing any unusual thing right?
RK: no madhu its just the latest technology and all.. now people have to sweat it out to make a baby, have to carry it inside the body and then deliver it by almost dieing, *sighs* golden were the days when that sexy fairy used to come to people to hand over their babies.. It was so easy na?
Madhu: 😕
RK: what? dont you know that? you know mom and dad were not even at home when I was born 🤣🤣 .. they were out for some party, and when they came back they found that fairy keeping me in their bed.. then, when she was about to leave.. papa tried to give her a shagun ki pappi to acknowledge her.. she just flew away forever, papa scared the shit out of her hence I couldnt get any sibling ever after 🤣
Madhu: Is this man for real? 😲
RK: so tell me madhu how did your parents get you?
Madhu: from the lottery RK..
RK: ohh great..and what about Trishna?
Madhu: Maa got her from pea-pod,, maa was peeling pea-pods and one them had Didu in it.. thank God maa noticed it .. or else that day she would have made Didu-paneer instead of mattar-paneer .
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
RK: wow.. see I told you it was way too easy in olden era na? and poor us have to do everything by our self.
Madhu: Plss RK... you're getting on my nerves now 🥱
RK: how could you get pregnant Madhu? its not good for health
Madhu: what do you mean by that? I didnt conceive by watching Po*n ... I did IT with you.. and its as much your child as mine. 😡
RK: Really? when did we mounh kala errr did IT?
Madhu: what do you mean? we do IT every night (as per IF-girls 🤣🤣🤣)
RK: and you know na that we do it once in a blue moon?
Madhu: 😭 yeah.
RK: ok tell me when was the day/night?
Madhu: Doc. said its the 7th week.. you do the maths..🥱
RK: hmmm 2nd of last month? ... wait ... we just had the eye-sex that day, didnt we?
Madhu:I dont remember... may be its 3rd then? remember I seduced you? ☺️
RK: yeah, Dirty dancing right?
Madhu: *embarrassed*
RK: no but we just kissed na? and my saliva cant be that fertile
Madhu: 🥱 4th of last month?
RK: no we just did it with hands and then I fooled you by promising to do IT the next day..
Madhu: 5th?
RK: we were talking dirty and then Bittu jee had walked in on us.
Madhu: I dont know then.. *sulks*
RK: Wait.. I guess we can reproduce by external fertilization too... like the fish do?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Madhu: what the FISH?
RK: Bingo.. thats it.. i tell you in one of these days I must have left my seeds in the bath tub while bathing.. and you must have taken your bath in the same water and you conceived instantly. *RK declares, delighted at his new theory*
Madhu: Shut up RK.. dont make me regret marrying you... you should have told me all this on our first night that you're a little slow in these matters..
RK: I would have madhu but that pretty girl on IF... hmmm Shonuu... the nerve of that girl she was making fun of my manliness... i had to prove her wrong ,, by showing what Kundras are best at?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Madhu: leave that RK.. just tell me what do you want? a boy or a girl?
RK: no boy or girl.. I want baba je ka thullu 🤣
Madhu: WHAT?
RK: listen biwi, lets not have this baby .. we are just too young to be parents no? besides to that... I had a pimple on my cheeks last month.. I dont want my child to be born with pimples all over his body..
Madhu: where were you wandering around when the theories of genetics were being taught in your class?
RK: I was in loo
Madhu: whatever RK.. I want this baby.. or else i'll get you rid of your manliness so that you can never make a baby again.. 🤣🤣🤣
RK: 😲.. No Biwi.. I just mean.. last month when we did it.. I was still learning it.. I was a disaster at that 🤣 so I just dont want this baby to get bad traits because his/her parents were just doing fun and not any serious thing..
Madhu: NO
RK: maan jao biwi warna mata rani ka paap lage ga..😭
Madhu: forget that RK
RK: biwi you know na? we tried all old techniques that I learned from papa's books and video collection.. do you want our baby to be old fashioned? see I've got a modren Kama-sutra book.. we'll try this out then we'll have our first baby...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Madhu: in your dreams RK..
RK: *have had enough expression* Listen Madhubala Rishabh Kundra. you're doing a woman centric film and you cant concentrate on that during your pregnancy .
Madhu: but film will be complete in 3 weeks na?i can manage
RK: no darling its not a birthday party ki video that we made it and watched it right away.. it will takes 2-3 months for post production and then promotion and the release ..do you want us to walk on red carpet of the premier, as me walking like I want to play kabaddi (one hand on thigh) and you walking like a penguin with one hand at your back and other to support your baby bump? with a doctor and a nurse walking by us to handle emergencies? you know what? we should do the premier in the hospital only,, patients will get inspiration from that.. 😆
Madhu: 😭 I hate you RK.. I am leaving you forever like my maa left my father for me..
RK: no madhu .. no plsss
Shonuu: *Lungi dance* 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Moral: RK-Madhu-Madhu-Bed-Bed-choochie choo-choochiecoo-baby-baby- miscarriage-miscarriage- Misunderstanding- Misunderstanding-Separation-separation- lungi dance-lungi dance-IF-people..
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
characters: RK-Madhu
Location: bed room
Situation: The great revelation of madhu's pregnancy.
RK rushes to his bed room to ask Madhu why she just spoiled the gorgeous outfit (he borrowed from a dress man) by sprawling on the floor to flaunt her dress and her eye shadow?
RK: madhu what happened?
Madhu: ☺️
RK: madhu for God's sake tell me what happened to your dress?
Madhu: 😲 I thought you were worried for me?
RK: off course I am worried for you *feeling guilty*
Madhu: RK we are doing to become 2 se 3 ☺️
RK: how? I dont think humans can undergo binary-fission? 😲
Madhu: no silly! I am Pregnant, you're gonna be a papa soon ☺️
RK: WHAT? Wha... TTT... W...h...a...t *echo effect* Kalmuhi, kulta... kis ke sath mounh kala ker ke ayi ho? kiska paap ha yeh? 😡
Madhu: *shocked* WT EFFF? what are you saying?
RK: what do youu expect me to say? in my movies whenever I impregnate my heroines, their mothers ask the same things to them... 🤣
Madhu: *hurt* but its our baby RK. its not a paap.. its our love...
RK: oh, I am sorry Madhu I really didnt know how to react in such situations.
Madhu: its ok,,, you're happy no?
RK: yes I am Madhu, but I am worried for you at the same time... you'll have to carry the baby for 9 months.
Madhu: I am more than happy to do that,, and every woman has to carry her baby in her womb, I am not doing any unusual thing right?
RK: no madhu its just the latest technology and all.. now people have to sweat it out to make a baby, have to carry it inside the body and then deliver it by almost dieing, *sighs* golden were the days when that sexy fairy used to come to people to hand over their babies.. It was so easy na?
Madhu: 😕
RK: what? dont you know that? you know mom and dad were not even at home when I was born 🤣🤣 .. they were out for some party, and when they came back they found that fairy keeping me in their bed.. then, when she was about to leave.. papa tried to give her a shagun ki pappi to acknowledge her.. she just flew away forever, papa scared the shit out of her hence I couldnt get any sibling ever after 🤣
Madhu: Is this man for real? 😲
RK: so tell me madhu how did your parents get you?
Madhu: from the lottery RK..
RK: ohh great..and what about Trishna?
Madhu: Maa got her from pea-pod,, maa was peeling pea-pods and one them had Didu in it.. thank God maa noticed it .. or else that day she would have made Didu-paneer instead of mattar-paneer .
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
RK: wow.. see I told you it was way too easy in olden era na? and poor us have to do everything by our self.
Madhu: Plss RK... you're getting on my nerves now 🥱
RK: how could you get pregnant Madhu? its not good for health
Madhu: what do you mean by that? I didnt conceive by watching Po*n ... I did IT with you.. and its as much your child as mine. 😡
RK: Really? when did we mounh kala errr did IT?
Madhu: what do you mean? we do IT every night (as per IF-girls 🤣🤣🤣)
RK: and you know na that we do it once in a blue moon?
Madhu: 😭 yeah.
RK: ok tell me when was the day/night?
Madhu: Doc. said its the 7th week.. you do the maths..🥱
RK: hmmm 2nd of last month? ... wait ... we just had the eye-sex that day, didnt we?
Madhu:I dont remember... may be its 3rd then? remember I seduced you? ☺️
RK: yeah, Dirty dancing right?
Madhu: *embarrassed*
RK: no but we just kissed na? and my saliva cant be that fertile
Madhu: 🥱 4th of last month?
RK: no we just did it with hands and then I fooled you by promising to do IT the next day..
Madhu: 5th?
RK: we were talking dirty and then Bittu jee had walked in on us.
Madhu: I dont know then.. *sulks*
RK: Wait.. I guess we can reproduce by external fertilization too... like the fish do?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Madhu: what the FISH?
RK: Bingo.. thats it.. i tell you in one of these days I must have left my seeds in the bath tub while bathing.. and you must have taken your bath in the same water and you conceived instantly. *RK declares, delighted at his new theory*
Madhu: Shut up RK.. dont make me regret marrying you... you should have told me all this on our first night that you're a little slow in these matters..
RK: I would have madhu but that pretty girl on IF... hmmm Shonuu... the nerve of that girl she was making fun of my manliness... i had to prove her wrong ,, by showing what Kundras are best at?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Madhu: leave that RK.. just tell me what do you want? a boy or a girl?
RK: no boy or girl.. I want baba je ka thullu 🤣
Madhu: WHAT?
RK: listen biwi, lets not have this baby .. we are just too young to be parents no? besides to that... I had a pimple on my cheeks last month.. I dont want my child to be born with pimples all over his body..
Madhu: where were you wandering around when the theories of genetics were being taught in your class?
RK: I was in loo
Madhu: whatever RK.. I want this baby.. or else i'll get you rid of your manliness so that you can never make a baby again.. 🤣🤣🤣
RK: 😲.. No Biwi.. I just mean.. last month when we did it.. I was still learning it.. I was a disaster at that 🤣 so I just dont want this baby to get bad traits because his/her parents were just doing fun and not any serious thing..
Madhu: NO
RK: maan jao biwi warna mata rani ka paap lage ga..😭
Madhu: forget that RK
RK: biwi you know na? we tried all old techniques that I learned from papa's books and video collection.. do you want our baby to be old fashioned? see I've got a modren Kama-sutra book.. we'll try this out then we'll have our first baby...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Madhu: in your dreams RK..
RK: *have had enough expression* Listen Madhubala Rishabh Kundra. you're doing a woman centric film and you cant concentrate on that during your pregnancy .
Madhu: but film will be complete in 3 weeks na?i can manage
RK: no darling its not a birthday party ki video that we made it and watched it right away.. it will takes 2-3 months for post production and then promotion and the release ..do you want us to walk on red carpet of the premier, as me walking like I want to play kabaddi (one hand on thigh) and you walking like a penguin with one hand at your back and other to support your baby bump? with a doctor and a nurse walking by us to handle emergencies? you know what? we should do the premier in the hospital only,, patients will get inspiration from that.. 😆
Madhu: 😭 I hate you RK.. I am leaving you forever like my maa left my father for me..
RK: no madhu .. no plsss
Shonuu: *Lungi dance* 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Moral: RK-Madhu-Madhu-Bed-Bed-choochie choo-choochiecoo-baby-baby- miscarriage-miscarriage- Misunderstanding- Misunderstanding-Separation-separation- lungi dance-lungi dance-IF-people..
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Bigg Boss 19
