Gold Digger.
Her eyes were fixated on his frame moving across the hall- from bar to table and back to the bar.
"Pour me a drink please", he asked with a straight face. She nodded and began working like his demand was a mechanical task. The silence in the room was so over-bearing he could hear her shallow breathing. Two months ago, when they were still going strong, he had ordered the doctor to get her full body exam. Every test came out okay but his danger antennas were still up. Because of her family history with lung disease, his inner hypochondriac manifested a little more when it came to her health. He kept track of everything around her and when even the silliest of signs seemed amiss, his heart would go racing.
"Why are you breathing out of your mouth?"
She did not answer for a good minute before exhaling a mere whisper, "the air in this room is stuffy". And she was right. The bomb his father had dropped hour ago left a vacuum in its wake. If it wasn't for his demand she stay in the room, she would have left hours ago. Though she pulled of her best calm expression on the surface, inside she was drowning. Her chest was filling with fluid with every passing minute in the loveless mansion. She was certain she would collapse under the weight of this house's emptiness.
"I want ice. You should know this by now", he said unknowingly and regretted it as soon as the words escaped his mouth. She was on the verge of tears already. His piercing remark only made it worse. Salty tears glittered in her eyes and she turned to a corner to avoid meeting his gaze.
"Whiskey on the rocks". She slid the glass toward him without making eye contact.
"You want something? Help yourself". At this point, he was unsure what to say. So, he was simply filling the quiet with words. Anything to avoid thinking about the elephant in the room.
"I have to drive home. Another time", she said. But they both knew there wouldn't be another time. This was goodbye. The end of an era.
As she grabbed hold of her keys from the end of the shelf, he screamed, "STAY!"
He flung her around with full force. Hair flinging in the air, eyes fluttering open, she stared at him in complete clarity as if she saw this coming.
"No", she regurgitated a rehearsed answer and went back to grab her keys.
His left arm held up her right and with the free hand he pulled on her waist embracing her. He rested his chin on her shoulders and stood in that position for as long as she allowed it.
When she began struggling to get out, he spoke up.
"I love you".
"I don..."
Before she could finish, he put a finger to her lips. "Please don't. Don't say you don't love me or like me or you don't want to see me. God knows if I can even bear to hear that".
"You always knew what this was Rishabh- for you and for me. This was an assignment, a job, a temporary contract. Now you go back to who you really belong with".
He opened up her fingers tightened in a fist and explored the hills and valleys of her palm.
"How much?"
She flinched at his touch, at the electricity that ran through her bones as she remembered this odd sensation all over again. Lazy nights in his bed, black tie dinners, restaurant dates, coffee shop staring sessions, re-enacting foam kisses from cheesy dramas, him following her around like a puppy dog in love. "Madhu take me with you wherever you go. That's all I want out of life", he would say forcing his way into the ladies' room with her. "I know you are really here to check out the other women", she would tousle his hair in playful mischief. And even when they smiled like the happiest people in the world for five minutes out of a twenty four hour day, she knew this wouldn't last.
His cellphone came before her.
"How much money do you need? To stay...with me...a year...no, forever".
"I don't...I can't".
At social events, instead of fetching his plus-one a drink like the other men, he would abandon her at the door to attend to business deals. She would put on a fake smile to mingle with strangers with similar artificial smiles adorning their skin. At some late hour when he was drunk out of his mind, he would remember her existence and drag her back home to love or f**k or whatever she chose to call it that night.
The good days with him were few and far between. She couldn't bear to do this the rest of her life.
She was just passing time until she didn't have to anymore.
Only six years till she paid off her debt, she would tell herself.
Soon it became one.
Then months.
And days.
Today was the last day she would claim ownership of her.
She was no longer obligated to the Kundras. She had done her part for their burdensome favor of covering the costs of her elite education. She was a free woman now. They no longer owned her. They could no longer berate her for being the gold-digger joined at their new heir's hip. Their heir was marrying an even richer heiress tomorrow.
So Madhu could go back to normal life, if she still remembered what that was like. The black fairytale of hurt was over. Even though she would never love like she loved him, she would find joy in the little things. Because it was him who once told her, "love isn't worth much more than the chewing gum stuck on the bottom of my shoe. All love does is destroy my sole made of Italian leather. You're paying me back. Don't mistake our little jokes for anything as stupid as love. I refuse to stoop that low. I will pretend I didn't hear you say anything. Now slip out of that dress, it's late".
Just like he dismissed her confession four years ago, she dismissed his.
"Don't say anything you may regret when you're sober", she stopped him as soon as he began expanding on his three words. Who knew? Maybe he did love her, or maybe it was a drunk mistake but his impending silence only made her suspicions stronger. The doubt in his mind of whether they could really be together against the world, made her leave. Even if she said yes today, he held the power to reduce her to a gold-digger. And she refused to live by that label. As she ran out the door, it was an unspoken leave. After six years of no breathing, she could finally fill her lungs with fresh air.
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