Chapter 95
"You know Bahadur a lot has changed since I met you the first time in the police station. My perception about life is going through a revelotionary change. I have never been stable in my self for past many, many years. It has been like I have been running after a mirage all the while I was standing next to the flowing river all the time." Madhu was not looking at him at this moment. She was just listening to him but she had so many unanswered questions, and had little time.
"How did you come here?"
"I drove and that too quite fast, was lucky not to get a ticket."
She kept her gaze fixed at him and curbed her smile.
"OK your Father Inlaw called me"
"Sir!!"
"Yes, It is the second time in my life I saw him literally in tears because you were in question. What is so special about you that he loves you so much?" RK looked back into her clear, transparent, crystaline eyes, eyes that never cloaked anything.
Madhu tried to avert her gaze and look elsewhere. She had always been scared that if not today then tomorrow this question was going to pop up. She had no answer to this. She felt as if he was accusing her of stealing his due.
"Don't look away Madhu, He called me and told me the way the Indian govt had very conveniently tried to decieve you and many others involved in this case. A lot of information was clearly kept from him. His suspicions had taken strong root the day you mentioned about your illness to the press. Despite a recommendation from the department you were not pulled back. He started working on it as soon as directions were given to him to send you to Vegas Instead of the preplanned trip of San Fransico. He had called me as soon as you boarded flight to be ready to join you as you would need someone to bank upon. When you send him the files last night he finally spoke to Malik and it was from his sources that he was able to get all the classified information. He wants you to step down and if need be step down from the job. I was sent here to force you into backing off."
Madhu looked straight into his eyes this times but what RK noticed was were the shades of grey in her eyes.
"Bahadur not a time to reconsider, this is a time to reaffirm. If you trace back your steps from here, you will keep wondering all your life what if you had followed through." RK said to her
"you sound like my mother"
"Biwi that was a blow to my masculinity."
"It was? I thought I was complimenting you. What ever happened to the man who never wanted this in the first place."
"Bahadur this place has a huge lot of fossils related to the biggest and the mightiest creature that once spanned the expanse of earth. They are all past can you fathom why?" Madhu did not answer but kept staring into his eyes.
"Because bacche they did not know how to adapt. Their might became the reason of their doom. They failed to care about each other and nurture each other. I am evil and I am par excellence at it, but I am not an idiot. I am capable of recognizing and accepting an imperative change within myself aswell as my surrounding "
"you mean to say you are changing" she blinked her eyes to convey her disbelief
"somewhat, have you heard of that saying haathi dubla kya hoga aur cheeti moti kya hogi. So I am changing but only within my limits. I am not mutating into something unidentifiable."
"The great RK is changing but for whom? Might I ask?"
"Are you that dumb or are you fishing for a compliment Biwi"
"none pati, I am in state of utter disbelief. Don't you think your change is a little to soon."
" I get your point but today is neither the time nor the place to answer it, may be a few days later."
"so you were saying something about dinosaurs"
"Bahadur, I can talk huge loads of philosophy and science together but crux would only be this much that this is your life and this is your battle. You choose your course of action or inaction. Know that I will stand by it but choose wisely. Evaluate all that is there to it for you as well as for many others." He looked at her expecting nothing in response.
"I am your wife is that why you will stand by me?"
"Yes that is there, but that is not all. I could have said this with choclates and flowers, or with the most precious diamonds, womens best friend and all. I will say it with just this (he starred into her face. Then picked up the long broken eyelash that rested on her cheek and placed it on her wrist, I do it out of love for you."
Madhu just folded her palm looked back towards the horizon. She was lost in this moment. Was it that easy for him to say that he loved her. Did he really mean it. Was he just trying to lift her spirits? She was unable to accept this proclamation or rather confession at this point of time, but then she neither reject it.
"Arrey you didn't wish for anything."
"wo kya kehtey hain
hazaron khwahishein aisi ki har khwahish pe dam nikale
Mere arman bahut nikale magar phir bhi kam nikale" she smiled a reluctantly.
"you don't need to do anything that you don't want to not even smile." RK said to Madhu.
"There is the catch I don't know what I want." RK knew the time to remain silent was now. The time to take his steps back was now. He looked towards the horizon. It was pretty cloudy too. Funny are the ways of nature it always reflects your own state of affairs, or we see the world as we perceive it. Madhu was constantly at war with her ownself. A part of her wanted to just call it quits and live a happy life with Rishabh. To be very honest not a part but as of now her entire being was feeling tired, she had never thought that she would be so used by her own people. When they never cared about her why should she care about them. She felt like an illegitimate child who was left in the desert to perish by both, her father or the people in power in her country and her mother or the people subjected to that curropt power. None cared about her wellbeing, both would only extort till she had any givable drop of blood left. She did not find any motivation to do anything for them. She made up her mind it was the time to call it quits. She looked at RK and said
"Tell me truly RK will you still love me if I quit."
"I don't love you because of your Job Madhu"
"Then why do you love me."
"I don't know? Or rather It is too complicated to be spelt out in words." He again was silent for quite a few moments.
"You wont be any less Bahadur if you decide you don't want to proceed if thatis what you were asking." He smiled
"SO your love is not based on me being Bahadur." She said in a tone that was not very definite.
"Oh it sure is one of the reasons. It would have taken a lot to stand upto me given that I am the son of some one who could potentially make or break your career. I am not talking post our wedding but of those four slaps which still are imprinted on my mind. Don't jump yet, some imprints cause dents for better. It would have taken a lot of courage to love your father's love interest and accept his love child as your own sister. It would have taken an immense and I repeat an immense amount of courage to love some one who dared to uproot you with all his might. Then love him so much as to give up all that you stood for in a jiffy. I have seen the entire interview. Bahadur I definitely love you because you are bahadur but quiting wont make you any less bahadur."
She was overwhelmed at what he had to say. How could he change so much and how could she be so lucky now when luck had hardly been at her side ever.
"What will it make me then?" she asked looking into his eyes for some honest answers.
"If you want an honest answer then know that it is going to hurt. Quitting would make you Impulsive, Rash, and selfcentered to some extent. Again none of these are qualities bad enough to stop loving you. Above all Biwi loving you is not an option for me. It is '.." he left the sentence incomplete and looked away.
Selfcentered was the word that hit Madhu right in her face. This was so against her rules and principles of life. She had always lived her life for others. She never thought herself as the center of her being. Her malik her mother, yes her mother how could she forget her. She was into all this for her. How could she ever forget that, though her mother never wanted her to do all this but this was what she always wanted to do for her? To bring her a closure, to get her justice. All her doubts were gone far away. This was her chance to achieve; this was really her time to re affirm her principles of life and to reinstate her faith in their virtues itself. She took a deep breath and looked at RK she wanted to say so much but did not hhave words. She looked at him deepest gratitude. It was fully recognized by him but what he did not like was gratitude, he knew she loved her and and that was all he needed all other sentiments could reat in some oblivion for the remaining of their lives and he would be fully content with it.
"lets go" he said he knew she was back and he was glad she was.No matter how much he regretted her being the way she was, he would not have her being any other way. He got up and waited for her to rise on her own.
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Edited by mytinypaintings - 12 years ago