Originally posted by: Lhethal.Me
Dear Mr. RK,
Hope this letter finds you in the fluffy interiors of the cloud numbered Nine. Just guessing that's where you are, especially since the raging success of your Mission: Avenge Laal-Golu-Gaal. It was a helluva interesting plan. We especially loved the overdose of flawless logic. Sweep away from the Chawl, show a chunk of chronically fake-ified love and dump back in the Chawl. Whoopie! Nothing like twisted revenge. I mean, who goes for simpler things like...Leaving that psycho father alive, allowing the ever-lecturing mother to sado-fy in the jail...Nah! BORING. Ofcourse Public Humiliation is the in-thing! Hush Hush...Nobody is tracking the websites you visit.
And as consumers we know the pain of faulty products don't we? I'm forgetting what was the trial period...6 months? Unh-uh. Hopefully you've got your refund.
We heard some whispers about your Mahaanta spilling over in this act of yours. Now, that's sooo NOT CLICHE. You stand near a window, deep in thought...and we see a glimmer of tears rimming your eyes...
Hear that? That's our hearts breaking. For your plight. For the sacrifice. For the sheer consuming nobility you possess.
Months from now, after some more episodes of passion some say and manhandling some say you'll be back tossing her around. Because Evil You is sooo fascinating, or haven't you heard? And yet again we'll have to ignore the stone-faced, stoic beauty cause we all feed on shuddery, revengy heroes. Staple Diet! *burp*
But we shall watch. Wait and watch...Cause the lower you fall, the more we love it! Chuck the female...Who cares about her (Be it Madhu, Mommy, Mom-in-law)
Now that you're "Revenge, I shall claim thee" is over with...Can we see some of the supposed blockbuster movies you are shooting for? I mean we know Qayanat. And then Qayanat 2. And then Qayanat 3. After that...??? I do hope the locales include more than the two Wickery-like Bridges you've borrowed from Salvatore Brothers and their li'l Gilbert Girl.
You are loved.
Cause Prof. Trelawney told us all that you have secretly love Madhu and are doing all this for her sake. *wipes off a tear*
Yours
I-heart-you-forever-n-ever.
PS- I'd have dumped a woman who dressed like that too. Way to go 👍🏼
NOTE: I'm strictly tawking about RK here and NOT VD!
*An entry from HER diary*
Dear Diary,
I have a lot to write today, don't I? You'll soon understand why I am addressing you as "Dear Diary". It's Mail Day today. Let me explain.
I sneaked back in today to find my stash of glycerine before he found it and wondered what I was doing with so much of glycerine. Do you know what I found? A letter!
I know that Mommy taught me that it is bad to read someone else's letters but I found the letter sticking out on the table and I happened to read the PS. It read "I'd have dumped a woman who dressed like that too. Way to go 👍🏼". What would such a letter be doing in RK's room? I was intrigued enough to pull out the letter and read it ... and remembered just in time to check my laughter.
I totally agree with the sender with one exception -- if I were RK, I'd have dumped me long before this. He still hasn't figured it out ... and in the meantime I've been dressing so badly that his name featured prominently in all the fashion and filmdom magazines. They just couldn't understand what he saw in me or why he allowed me to get away with such styles. They couldn't understand why I -- who worked in a parlour for a living -- dressed in such a style. The gaudy clothes I wore would have been enough to clothe the entire cast of his movie -- no make that Qayanat, Qayanat 2 and Qayanat 3. Ok, ok ... I'll be honest with you ... at least the rainbow coloured tents for the song sequences in Qayanat and Qayanat 2.
I knew that I didn't have enough time before he pulled -- that's before he thought that he pulled -- the plug. But I wanted to be featured on the syllabus of fashion schools in a special session titled: "The model eye-con: RK's wife" and have RK invited to deliver the guest lecture and watch him deliver a lecture on this topic while I was still conning him. What would he have focussed on? My wig? The plaited one or the free one? The peacock-like colours of my clothes? Even Bittu ji would have found it difficult to get someone to write him a speech! Such was the idea ... but some things are not meant to be.
But I-heart-you-forever-n-ever sure got it right -- his non-BORING revenge plan means that my father and my mother are both out of jail and I am supposedly hurting from his public humiliation. I hope that she never has the opportunity to explain her letter to him!
Now, Diary, time for a hi-fi. Little does he know that the people in my chawl are all from the film industry ... they saved me when I was an infant ... and they know how to act when a much loved li'l Red Riding Hood requests them for help to pull the wool over the Big Bad Wolf's eyes -- be it the Sholayisque Gabbar or you-know-who.
"Will you walk into my parlour?", said the spider to the fly. It was one of my favouritest poems as a child. I ain't no Mary Poppins.
Marathi TV
