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RKham asylum, aka abode of RK and his thope hues.
We open where we left. Conch shells of anviliciousness are sounding loud and clear. madhu has just reassured Radhaji that she will save the world! Or that she will reform her son, because how dare he follow any other religious belief except the dominant one!
And thus, sweeping gloriously over any remains of secularism, Madhu opens her eyes wide. Her MIL does an impression of the weepiest cheerleading squad in history.
Cue vampish music. Enter Deeplali. She tells M about RK and his legendary stubborness. Sweety, not doing the dirty with you isn't stubborness-- it is just good taste. M tells her that RK hasn't seen her stubborness. Is this code for something? Are we entering naughty euphemism territory? ' Darling,tonight i'm going to give you such a show, you're going to have the zid of your life!' or 'I'll show you my zid if you show me yours'? Because if so, well done writers for tricking the watershed guidelines.
Zid faceoff ends.
RK and Bittuji are having a domestic. RK has cancelled all shoots and engagments during Bappa days. Umm, didn't he say he was going to carry on as usual despite Sultan? And if he sulks in his room every year during Bappa days, isn't Bittuji the worst secretary in the world to not know that and keep his calendar free anyway? Or did he get confused by Rk's instructions re Sultan? Or does he supply additional services that counter his completely inept secretary-ing? Or is this charted path of using logic and, you know, having a memory, too much for the show writers?
Moving deftly past the plot canyons, we enter the Happy environment of le grotte. Here Madhu is sitting in bed, smiling. She has changed! She is in night clothes! Enter RK. He asks why she is smiling. They have an adorable conversation. He divides the bed, she is scared of the dark because apart from all his other talents, RK is able to instantly produce absolute darkness with no ambient light whatsover. And madhu is capable of somehow producing light when she shuts her eyes because you see she is so TERRIFIED of darkness. How else would she be able to close her eyes and sleep? Let us not even touch this stink pellet of a plot device. No, not even with a barge pole.
Just know that RK shows consideration, apologises, and Madhu sleeps with him on the same bed, and smiles and they have what passes for pillow talk in RKham.
Also Madhu really wants to know whether RK like red or yellow.
Downstairs, Kukku and sikki are discussing financial problems. kukku is in a sumptuous dressing gown of purple silk. And chartreuse pyjamas. I love this man! He does a really good impression of an aubergine. He advises Sikky to tell his wife to be less open with the spending. So Deeplali hasn't told her husband about the cash and jewellery in the supersekrit shoebox of doom. Nice to know she's a proper gold-digger, not one of those Jenny- come -latelies.
Morning.
Deeplali is helping MIL decorate the house for l'arrivee de Bappa. She snits a little, makes a few faces. Proper gold-digging vamp behaviour, just in case anyone has any doubts about her character. She is black, people! Black as a very black thing. Bad to the bone, and no shades of grey in sight except, because she is a vamp, she probably does read bad mom-po*n...
RK is playing a driving game on his Samsung smart phone. I hope it is zombie highway. FQ loves Zombie highway and is total boss at it. We see he is wearing YELLOW to let his wife know that if she is thinking of buying naughty lingerie over the internet, these are his colour preferences. He is looking, as is his norm, an edibly delicious super-scrumptious fountain of hot smouldering sexiness. You know how much I dislike using exaggerated adjectives and over the top prose. This wasn't flowery language, it was a baldly stated fact. Almost a mathematicsl formula. RK= EDSSFOHSS. See above.
He hears a racket, lo! It is the sound of drums! Even more lo! It is coming from his house!
He looks on from his balcony of dramatic interruptions to see that his wife is bringing Bappa home!
He stops the celebrations! No! Don't stop Kukku dancing! He is still wearing chartreuse, and looks like he's starring in a commercial for lauki juice.
Madhu RK have a faceoff! Madhu wins. Because for no reason whatsoever RK decides go back off, probably because he -- no. Can't think of a reason.
Bappa is enshrined. Sikki ogles the cash offerings.
Clunky plottage takes over again as, inevitably, Madhu spills some roli on RK.
She sings the arti wearing a truly hideous sari. So hideous that RK cannot take his eyes off it. I feel for you, hero-- I mean, the colour, the two tone-ness, the self-pattern and the ugly embroidery-- it was fascinatingly horrible. RK, immune to most fashion disasters through prolonged contact with Bittuji, who ,BTW, really upped the stakes with today's red velour monstrosity, is still shocked.
For the first time on the show, pls correct me if wrong, we begin to hear internal monologues. This means the writer didn't even bother to get out of bed today, forget smelling the coffee. The flashback and the internal monologue. The classic tag team for the death knell for good screenplays. If your name ain't Taranatino, don't do it. DON'T!
And now we wait till tomorrow/ next week to learn that RK was saved by Bappa because Sultan didn't do his research and therefore did not know that RK stays at home during Bappa days. And
O! RK has a magical refaithment! Oh obvious plot of obviousness, why so predictable?
Guys, please comment! Your feedback fuels my writing. Otherwise it dries up, like a dung patty in the May sun.
CID
