Posted:
I've been playing with this idea for a while and I actually contemplated not posting it, I'm a little.. I don't know, protective of my writing if you will. I love to write but it's more of a personal thing for me thus writing for me comes with some insecurities especially when others read my work so I don't often share what I've written. The last fan-fic I wrote and posted was so long ago I don't even know where it is anymore. I have to admit, it's a little out of my comfort zone as far as setting and some dialouge, the only fan-fics I've written have been for American soaps I watch. I hope it's okay.
Here's hoping that if you're reading this that you do enjoy it.
___________________________
"When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide"
"Demons" - Imagine Dragons
"Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself? How could you be so careless! A man, not just any man either - an underworld don, puts a hit out on you, even calls you and tells you he's done so, and your response is to laugh it off as if it's someone calling to tell you that they're closing down your favourite jeans store!"
He felt that uncomfortable stirring in his chest again as his wife spoke or rather scolded him. This uncomfortable feeling in his chest had been presenting itself more and more often over the past few weeks and he didn't like it. He had initially wrote it off as indigestion but he knew he couldn't keep hiding behind that diagnosis anymore, if only so he could stop taking the indigestion pills that Bittuji kept bringing him.
When she looked at him with those big doe eyes he found a small part of himself wanting to be the man he knew she believed him to be under the hard exterior. He knew the truth though and he couldn't allow her to think he was anything other than what he showed the world. Years of building up walls, of being betrayed, of having his love thrown back in his face had left him too broken, the pieces could never be put back together. Which was why he had to put an end to it.
"Don't look at me like that biwi," he said lazily, his lips curving into the devil-may-care smirk he had perfected as he got into more comfortable position in his bed.
She was startled, he could tell, by the shift in his mood but she didn't look away.
"Like what?" Madhu asked standing her ground, crossing her arms over her chest, tilting her head just slightly.
"There's nothing in here for you to save or salvage," he said stabbing his chest with his finger. "Remember what you told me a while back, you don't like me. I told you then and I'm telling you again, hold onto that feeling and don't forget it. I'm still the janwar that embarrassed your mother on the set of my movie, the one that embarrassed you in front of housefull of guests at a party. I'm still the same janwar that spilled the secret of this marriage to your sick father, you need to remember that." He turned his head away from her to look towards the window, an empty gesture as he could not see anything beyond the panes of glass. "Now leave, I want to be alone," he said with a wave of his hand dismissing her.
He heard her move and felt a twinge of disappointment that she had listened. A moment later he saw her approaching through his peripheral vision and the mattress dipped beside him slightly as she sat down next to him placing a first aid box on the nightstand.
"What are you doing?" he asked gruffly looking up at her.
"Your bandage needs changing," she said matter of factly, pointing to the gauze that was wrapped around his left shoulder.
"Leave it, it can be changed later. I need rest, now go."
Ignoring him she quietly reached for the bandaging on his arm only to have him grab hold of her hands in his firm grip.
Giving him a look of quiet determination she pulled her hands away, not an easy feat normally, which just went to show how weak RK was from the attack he had recently suffered.
"Actually, you should have had these changed at least once before you left the hospital, but you refused. It's well past time they were changed as it is. Besides, you changed my bandages when I was hurt I don't see how this is any different. Turnabout is fairplay pathidev," she smiled sweetly, using the endearment she knew irritated him.
Moving his good hand out of the way she set to work again, undoing the bandages. Normally she would have been uncomfortable doing such a task, being this close to the man that made her so uneasy, but on this particular night she was just glad that he was alive. Her relief at the fact was not something she wanted to examine too closely at the moment however other than to acknowledge the fact that she wouldn't want anyone to meet their maker in such a way. She did admit to herself though that it irked her that he thought himself invincible just because he was the great "Superstar RK".
He watched her quietly, intently, as she disposed of the old gauze and began to clean the wound. He wasn't the only one that had been hurt, she'd been there with him, if she hadn't pushed him aside the shot may have been fatal.
Raising his good hand he reached up and moved aside the hair that had fallen over her forehead.
"Does it hurt?" he asked before he could check his emotions again.
Stopped in her ministrations she looked at him confused. "RK, I'm fine. A bump on the head is hardly anything to be concerned with when you're dealing with a bullet wound."
She shifted to move her head away from his touch but he was too quick, he lowered his hand to cup her cheek and watched her eyes grow wider.
'Just one moment,' he thought to himself and then he'd put the wall back up, stronger than before. His thumb found her lower lip and brushed against it as her lips parted.
She was surprised. "RK.." she started.
"Shh.." He was looking at her lips now, pulling her gently down towards him.
Resolving to stop him she reached for his hand but before she could pull it away she looked into his eyes and found herself caught off guard by what she saw there. Madhu had only glimpsed this version of the man a time or two before. While she couldn't quite place all the emotions she saw reflected back at her, she knew that in this rare moment he had let the mask slip, this wasn't the conceited superstar, this was Rishabh, the man. Something pulled at her heartstrings and she knew she couldn't push him away now, in this moment. Her eyelids fluttered and began to close.
From somewhere outside the haze of emotions she was enveloped in she heard a loud clatter followed almost instantly by her being released from her husbands grasp. She opened her eyes, the moment was broken, a look at her husband's face showed that the mask was firmly in place again, a scowl forming on his handsome face.
She jumped back slightly and quickly got to her feet trying to compose herself, she looked up and saw her bhabi standing there, shock clearly written all over her face at what she had walked in on.
"Bhabiji, don't you know it's bad manners to just walk into someones room? You really should familiarize yourself with the art of knocking. What do you want?" RK asked without even a pretense of embarrassment.
"I.. I came in to bring you some milk and see if there was anything I could do for you," she replied regaining her composure quickly.
"As you can see, I've got my dutiful biwi here to look after any and all of my needs," he sat up a little straighter and gestured to Madhu standing by his side. "You can leave. It's quite late, maybe you should see if your own husband has any needs you could help him with in your own room."
"I.." Dipali started looking down at the contents she had dropped just moments earlier.
"Leave," RK practically roared pointing with his right hand towards the door.
Hesitating only a moment to look first at Madhu and then again at RK she turned around and stalked out.
It was only after she had left that he dropped his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes, the minor and insignificant incident having taken more of a toll on him then it should have.
He heard Madhu moving away from the bed. 'Good,' he thought. He needed some peace and quiet and having his biwi around was both confusing and distracting at the moment. When he heard her coming back he opened his eyes to see that she was cleaning up the mess Dipali had left.
"Leave it. One of the servants can take care of it," he said without thinking.
Not missing a beat his wife was quick to respond. "I thought I was one of the servants," she replied finishing up and walking back out of the room without waiting for a response. RK looked after her and shook his head amused once again.
Settling back into the bed he looked down at the gun shot wound. The doctors had removed the bullet and advised he stay overnight in the hospital for observation to ensure there would be no infection or fever but he had checked himself out against their wishes anyways. Bittuji had made the arrangements for all the necessary medications to be brought with him while he had gone in search of his wife who was in a nearby examination room. After confirming that she was okay they'd been brought home by one of the drivers he employed but rarely used.
Now here he was, his left arm out of commission for the time being, stuck in bed with his wife looking after him. This wasn't the first time she had saved his life but just like the last time it had surprised him, more-so perhaps this time. This time it was different, his own feelings about the incident went beyond just simple surprise that she would save him. When the shots had rang out and she had pushed him aside, regardless of the pain he was experiencing in his shoulder he had been startled to realize that he couldn't allow her to be hurt, the panic in her eyes had triggered something in himself. These feelings, the uncomfortable stirring in his chest, the desire to have her near, it was starting to scare him.
She stood up and took the first aid kit back to the bathroom. His eyes trained on the door waiting for her to come back out. She emerged some time later ready for bed. He shifted himself to his side of the bed and began to reach for the pillows they used as a wall between themselves.
"You don't have to do that," he heard her say.
He looked at her and raised a brow in question.
"I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight. You're hurt, you need your space," she told him as she walked over to grab a pillow from the bed.
As she reached for a pillow, RK reached for her, stopping her by putting his hand on her arm.
"You'll sleep on the bed tonight like you always do. I'm not asking you biwi, I'm telling you," he added when he saw her lips move to protest.
He saw several warring emotions play across her face as she debated what to do.
"I'm not in any condition to try anything," he admitted wondering if their near kiss, the moment of weakness he had displayed, was playing a part in her hesitation tonight. "Just please lay down," he finally said exasperated.
It was the second time he had ever used that word with her, please. He definitely knew the right buttons to push. With a sigh she helped finish the wall of pillows and got into her side of the bed, turning off the light. RK settled himself onto his back, throwing his good arm over his eyes. She wondered if he would be comfortable, would he be able to sleep over the coming days while his wound healed, especially having to lay on his back or his one good side. Sleeping next to the man the past few weeks she'd noticed that he preferred to sleep on his stomach, she couldn't remember seeing him sleep any other way.
"Are you comfortable?" she asked in a soft voice, not wanting to wake him if he had somehow managed to fall asleep.
"What do you think?" came his response in the dark.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Now that was a loaded question if he'd ever heard one.
"I'll be fine, just close your eyes and go to sleep," he replied gruffly.
She rolled onto her side, facing his profile, watching him. In the darkness now she reluctantly admitted to herself how scared she'd been when she'd heard the shots ring out earlier in the day. One minute everything had been fine, they had been arguing as usual about something so insignificant that she couldn't even remember what it had been now and then they were both on the ground. She'd been terrified when she'd noticed the blood, she knew it didn't belong to her so therefore there was only one other person it could belong to. She'd begun to panic, somehow in that moment she couldn't fathom something happening to him.
RK began to move next to her then but stopped and groaned in pain which moved Madhu to reach for him and help him shift onto his good side. He opened his eyes and looking into hers.
There it was again, stripped down and bare, his eyes windows to the man that he kept hidden all the time. He rested his hand on the pillow between them. Madhu hesitated only a second before moving her hands, one on top and the other nestled beneath his, holding his large hand between her two smaller ones. An expression she couldn't quite read passed over his face before he closed his eyes and let the pain meds take over.
Feeling a little more settled herself she closed her eyes and let exhaustion overtake her, her hands still holding his tight.
