Posted:
Note: you might want to read yesterday's review to make perfect sense of this one. It's called ' Mommies rule; learn first-aid at school' . you're right, i do like awful rhymes.
Link here:
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/madhubala-ek-ishq-ek-junoon/3201172/fqnama-mommies-rule-learn-first-aid-at-schoolRK has finished binding his wife's leg with the miraculous white rag of NIrma whiteness (tm) and she is completely overwhelmed by his hot, hot, presence so close to herself. Husband goes and forages in the wilds of IMPROBALISTAN and finds a stale packet of crackers. It is the national food of this remote country.
He tries to feed his wife but she bats such petty offerings away. Where is the champagne, the caviar, you cheap excuse of a superstar!?
She accuses hubby of acting, and he gets in a superb line that he doesn't act for free but charges a lot of money for doing so. And another good one about how he is merely fulfilling the vows he made during his abbreviated shaadi circumambulations.
Madhu decides that such a cheap other half Is really not worth spending another moment and hobbles to the jammed studio door. Husband calls her superwoman, as she bangs completely ineffectual palms against the door. All this spot-girling has really taken the vim out of her super-heroing, but the latent energy she produces misfires and causes the 'single' light in the studio to be extinguished. And that was not obvious and predictable AT ALL.
And in a not at all obvious and predictable way, our heroine decides to abandon her one fixed point of bearing, ie the door, and make her way, barefoot, across a studio space littered with tetanus causing debris and peopled by her beast of a husband.
Mysterious banging sounds are heard. She squeals. Lightening happens and lo and behold, she can resist the hotness of her captive beast husband no more and hurls herself into his muscled arms. 'Take me,' she cries. 'Take me now!'
I kid. She does pretend she's afraid so she can rub herself like a sexy kitten all over his manly chest of manliness. And refuses to let go. Like for hours.
Clueless husband detaches himself and introduces first clunky plot device of the day ie, like ALL drama heroines, wife is afraid of the dark. I mean, not that she just walked miles in the dark on the open roads or anything. Clearly it is sudden-onset-fear-of-the-dark-but-only-in-the-presence-of-hot-husbands-itis.
Meanwhile, in a city called Mumbai, the monsoon has wreaked havoc. We know this because clunky plot device of the day is well and working in the form of Radhaji's TV. Bittuji, still in his dupion shirt of doom, circa Jil Sander 1998, lets us know that the security guard has called to let him know that he ( ie lame security guard) went to get help to open the jammed door but now cannot get back. The security guard suffers from sudden technology amnesia because he clearly can use the phone, but went personally to fetch help. How devoted.
Returning to the studio: husband has jerry-rigged a bonfire, blankets and a newspaper bed. He's good with his hands AND innovative. FQ has to go and lie down for a bit.
Okay, before I proceed further, let me just say that RK is looking so hot in this episode, that only if ordinary laws of physics applied in Improbablistan, the whole place would SPONTANEOUSLY combust. I kid you not. Like hotness seeps out of every angle of his face. The camera clearly loves him, and I am beginning to have my doubts about the cameraperson too.
He tries to offer food to his wife again, and again she bats it away. Eventually, he retires to the newspaper bed and as his wife dozes ( in the prettiest looking posture possible, and with absolute and magical control of lower jaw) and cries at his father's pic in his cheap wallet.
Then he sees wifey is about to get a short, sharp awakening on the bonfire and lunges to save her. MB gets more action while fainting or sleeping. IMO, for the benefit of the viewers and herself, she should be permanently sedated.
He snuggles up against her and they go to sleep. A billion girls across the planet go giddy because of holding their breath. FQ may or may not be amongst them.
Dawn happens with a clear red sun. Storm over? Madhu wakes to see husband has been cuddling her. VD has let his lower jaw fall to show a sleeping man. Well done, VD.
RK wakes to find that his uppity wife has batted him away. Again! How dare she? When a billion girls are dying to savour the bouquet of his morning breath! He stretches sexily. Ok, let me just say that whenever I write that RK does anything, you should just add sexily to the end of the sentence automatically. It will save us a lot of time.
Madhu hands him his open wallet and asks grating questions. And denies getting the pics published. Hubby is having none of it. Cue some good lines about celebrity life as RK steps on his dad's picture on the floor. What he doesn't realise is that Madhu is pointing to the headline 'kab tak single' (which is printed beside the cake orgy picture) as a way of expressing her disgust that despite having her at his disposal all night, husband tried nothing more than a G-rated cuddle.
Fathers and childhood is dicussed. We are moved to discover that Mohan committed suicide only hours after eating that chocolate cake with his son. NEVER visit that bakery again!
This bit was well thought out, writers. See, you can do clever! Only if you try a bit harder.
Precap
Madhu looks at her husband like he is the last bit of Lindt left in the world and she is in the throes of severe PMS. All the while being carried in his arms in front of assorted media. FQ faints.
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
