I WOULDN'T WANT MY GIRL TO BE OUT OF THE HOUSE AFTER 10 IN THE NIGHT
It was my first meeting with this mainstream television actor and for some strange reason I had anticipated him to be someone with a blustering, boisterous and a pompous attitude, which is usually the case with most celebrities. But I was surprised by his composed and unpretentious persona, and almost corporate behaviour. After making me wait almost endlessly for more than an hour, Romit Raj walked up to me with an apologetic expression and tried to make up for the loss of time.
Paradoxically, he is the blend of someone who is debonair, reserved and maybe even a little unattainable and yet there is this surprising pleasant cordiality that he exudes. But it isn't easy to get him out of his comfort zone, as I realize it takes a bit of coaxing and cajoling to get Romit to speak about himself.
Romit begins by tracing his journey right from where acting for him started. "I always wanted to be an actor. My parents enjoyed watching films and television. It always brought a smile on their face. So I thought, why not become an actor? Entertainment is a good industry where you not only get paid but people come to know you also. So I found all that really exciting."
Modeling for ads, Romit actually started his career in Kolkata and then came to Mumbai, where he did serials like Phir Bhi and Shakalaka Boom Boom. He got lucky when the producers of the movie Hum Dum saw him in Shakalaka… and offered to launch him in Bollywood. The film, like most experimental projects, bombed at the box-office as it didn't have a snazzy star cast nor was it the launch pad of any star kid. Romit recollects and retells the experience of his first Bollywood tryst.
"When I read the script of Hum Dum, I found it to be a very nice love story. So I did the film. But unfortunately, it wasn't marketed very well. It didn't reach out to a larger audience, so it didn't do well at the box-office." He was also part of another unsuccessful film, Yatra, which too didn't help lift his career graph on the big screen.
But life has a way of balancing the ups and downs for even the most unlucky people. After a luckless stint in Bollywood, with television, Romit hit the jackpot. After Phir… and Shakalaka… he did a few more shows like Suno Har Dil Kuch Kehta Hai and today is finally doing two big shows Maayka and Ghar Ki Lakshmi… Betiyaan.
But it isn't Romit's film and television projects that draw my interest. Drifting from the usual topics of career and professional talks, I dare to tread on Romit's fiercely guarded private space.
Every celebrity has two sides to him that is constantly under media scrutiny – professional and personal. Today, actors are more often written about for their personal lives than their professional achievements. But with this actor, the case is different. Everyone knows about Romit's career highs. Yet, it's not his films or his television serials that first come to my mind.
Romit is young, famous, has two avidly watched daily soaps to his credit and most importantly belongs to the big bad world of television, but controversies still don't seem to come his way! You never hear of a Romit Raj being involved in a brawl at a nightclub or being spotted in public with another actress. He has always kept a low profile and scandals have always kept away.
The most conspicuous fact in Romit's life is the absence of that special somebody and his unexplained bachelorhood status. Romit is single and from what one hears, perhaps the reason is a heartbreak in the past; an unfulfilled relationship. Long ago, when Romit was still in Kolkata, he was seeing someone for almost eight years.
Unfortunately, things didn't work out in their favour and they broke their relationship. Today, that lady is married, settled and has kids, while Romit is single but not yet ready to mingle. The first thought that comes to my mind is, maybe he hasn't moved on. After all, an eight-year relationship can never be easily forgotten. And then as they say, your first love is always special.
I ask the very obvious question, if Romit is heartbroken and disillusioned about love. Initially reluctant to talk about her, Romit opens up a bit as he tells me that he has left his past behind and has moved ahead. "I did move on. I was seeing that girl when I was in Kolkata. We began dating each other in school and then in college," he reminisces. Today, Romit is not in touch with her. "She is happy in her life with her kids and all that. In fact I am very happy for her and her family. She has got married to a very nice man."
After the relationship didn't work out, Romit decided to come to Mumbai and work out his career. Perhaps to get away from the pain, he immersed himself in making a career for himself. And anything remotely connected to dating or getting into a relationship was out of the picture.
"When I came to Mumbai, my whole focus was on getting work. It used to be very tough. There was no production house or advertising agency that didn't have my pictures. I made sure I applied everywhere. I was so busy that there was never any time to date any girl. Then when I got work, due to the work commitments, there was no time for any relationship. I came to Mumbai to make a name for myself. I am here to do that," he says firmly.
Today, in the television scenario, actors work almost 24 X 7 and land up spending most of their time on the sets with their co-stars, which has resulted in many of them dating one another. But Romit is one actor who is cut clear when it comes to maintaining a strict line between his professional and personal life.
"I don't want to see anyone from the film or television industry. All the actresses are very nice and sweet but I don't want to go around with any of them. What I want to say is that, I don't want to eventually settle down with an actress."
He even gives me reasons for the same. "I don't want to get work home and talk about the same kind of stuff. I don't want nautanki at home. At times I feel, like an actress might understand an actor, but here in Mumbai, all girls are very hardworking, whether they are doctors, lawyers, journalists or anybody for that matter. They understand that they need to spend time outside for work purposes. So I am sure any girl will understand my work as everyone knows how stressful an actor's job is."
Romit continues in the same vein and talks in detail as to why he wouldn't be seen in a relationship with any actress. "To be very frank with you, I would not want my girl to be out of the house after nine or 10 in the night. And as an actor, you are required to do late night shifts. I would not like all that. I want a housewife or if she wants to work, she can work in the day time."
Romit might sound like the typical chauvinistic Indian male when it comes to selecting his ideal woman, but thankfully, he is honest and frank enough to admit what he expects from his woman and relationship. "I believe that marriages should be perfect and somewhere down the line, when people want to fall in love or want to get married, they do make false promises. And all these promises shatter when you start taking things for granted. I am one person who makes things very clear right from the beginning."
So far, the actor hasn't yet found the right lady. "I have been working, so it's been difficult for me. I don't have the time to meet people from outside the fraternity. I don't know if I will opt for an arranged or love marriage. My parents are after me. Hopefully within two years I will get married."
He may not know now if he will go for a love or arranged match, but he does have a clear picture about what he will do if he ever falls in love again. "For me it's very important to settle with the girl I am going to go around with. It's not like 'I really like you, let's just go around'. I personally feel that the day I fall in love, I am going to get married to that girl."
After a moment's thought, he adds, "I obviously have a lot of friends who are girls. But I don't want to get into a commitment where I don't see marriage happening in the future."
If there ever were any regrets or hang ups, they all seem to have been washed away. "Life is amazing," Romit says with optimism and when I roll my eyes for him being so politically correct, he gives me a very stern look and offers some serious advice. "Nothing in life is permanent. You go through different phases in your life. Whatever happens to you happens for the good.
This is actually true. There are a lot of things which don't happen according to your wishes, but you can't help it. There is a lot of difference between what you deserve and what you desire." It's remarkable how even the simplest and smallest experiences of life can mature a person and Romit seems to be one of those people who has taken a lesson from it.
**BY PURVAJA SAWANT
-- k k rai
Says Barkha, "It's not that I don't want him to ride but I'm only against him riding at high speed. He's very fond of bikes and was very keen on having one. He used to tell me how he will save money for the bike. I ordered the bike from Singapore a good 25 days before his birthday. I'm not going to reveal the price as it is a gift."
