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Steps
- Tell the unarguable truth. Many people are taught to lie to protect someone's feelings, either their own or those of their partner. Lies create disconnection in a relationship, even if your partner never finds out about it. Withholding the truth also constitutes telling a lie. Here are some examples of telling the unarguable truth: "I felt scared when I saw you talking to him at the party or at school," "I feel angry when you hang up on me," "I felt sad when you walked out during our fight and didn't want to be round me."
- Forgive one another. Forgiveness is a process of ending your anger or resentment towards another individual. It can have the power to transcend all offenses, great and small, and learning to forgive another takes patience, honesty, and respect. When sincerely given freely in a relationship, forgiveness may heal relationships that are suffering. Forgiveness is an act of humility, not one of haughty feelings.
- Make and keep clear agreements. For example, if you say you're going to meet your partner for lunch at noon, be on time, or call if you're going to be late. If you agree to have a monogamous relationship, keep that agreement and/or tell the truth about any feelings you're having about someone else before you act on them. Keeping agreements shows respect for yourself and your partner, as well as creating a sense of trust and safety if you say your going to call him do it or tell him the truth why you can't because believe it not doing what you say or promise is a lie, don't make time for ex-boyfriends or girlfriends they are your ex for a reason because they didn't know how to treat you when they had you.
- Be Responsible. Here's a new definition: Responsible means that you have the ability to respond. It does not mean you are to blame. There is tremendous power in claiming your creation. If you've been snippy to your partner, own up to it, and get curious about how you might do it differently next time. If you are unhappy in your relationship, get curious about how this situation is similar to others from your past, and how you might create a better relationship for yourself rather than try to change your partner.
- Approach your relationship as a learning experience. Each one has important information for you to learn. For example, do you often feel 'bossed' around in your relationship, or do you feel powerless? When a relationship is not working, there is usually a familiar way that we feel while in it. We are attracted to the partner with whom we can learn the most, and sometimes the lesson is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us. A truly healthy relationship will consist of both partners who are interested in learning and expanding a relationship so that it continues to improve.
- Appreciate yourself and your partner. In the midst of an argument, it can be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to do it during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. One definition of appreciation is to be sensitively aware so you don't have to be sugar-coating anything so tell her or him you love him and that you don't want to argue but talk and make it better.
- Review your expectations. Make sure you don't try to make your partner fulfill every need in your life. One person cannot be everything to you. Everybody needs love, intimacy, affection, and affirmation, but your partner cannot alone give you all of that. You need to get some from your friends, from your family, but first and foremost, love yourself. Attempting to change someone else's mode of processing or personality style won't work--and will create derailments.
- Use communication to establish a common ground to understand different points of view and to create a mutual, collaborative agreement or plan. You can either choose to be right, or you can have a relationship. You can't have both. Most people argue to be "right" about something. They say "If you loved me, you would...." They argue to hear the other say "Okay, you're right." If you are generally more interested in being right, this approach will not create a healthy relationship. Having a healthy relationship means that you have your experience, and your partner has his or her experience, and you learn to love and share and learn from those experiences.
Tips
- Remember what you don't do is as important as what you do.
- Strike while the iron is cold. Known when to be reflective and invoke principles. When the house is burning is no time to teach fire safety principles.
- Portions of this article are based on the works of Dr. Gay and Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks.
- All good relationships are based upon mutual respect. If you do not feel respect for your partner, or believe that they are losing respect for you, then consider rebuilding the respect immediately.
- Communicate with your partner. Without communication, there is no relationship so try and call your partner even if it's just to say 'hi' and 'I love you'.
- Don't continue to talk to other boys or girls or definitely ex's it could lead to just talking and go way beyond.
- Tell your mate how you really feel bout your ex don't ever cheat or lie to your mate with an ex or someone you barely know.
- Don't continue to talk with your ex if your boyfriend or girlfriend isn't around.
Warnings
- Keep your thoughts about the relationship realistic. Marriage should not be on your mind if you've been dating for a week, for example. Nor should you think that the relationship is going to solve all of your problems, or that you'll never be lonely again, or anything like that. Relationships can be wonderful things, but be realistic about them.
- Do not assume that any one relationship will be perfect. It is human to experience disagreements and emotional pain. Working past these issues may be an ongoing struggle.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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