SS : Tere Ishq Mein updt 20.9.12 pg-6 last part - Page 5

Part 3

Once again I was on the hospital bed with bandage tied around my eyes but this time it was different, months back I'd lost everything in that accident, my eye sight, my work, my years of savings and my dream of living a happily married life with seema. One incident, one moment, one girl and my whole life finished. For days I cursed my destiny, that accident and that girl for losing my happiness, for making my life fall in the shadows of darkness. But then If because of that girl I lost in abundance then because of her I found something or should I say someone precious too, 'NAKKU'. So the sense of loss and the feeling of contempt towards her got sidelined to quite an extent with what I got in return. Nakku came into my life as a breath of fresh air and a ray of light. She supported me not only physically but mentally and most importantly emotionally. She gave me a family which I never had, a flicker of hope which I was losing and several reasons to live and smile. When I stumbled, she held me and when I fell down her hand was always there to pull me up and out of my miseries. Her words soothed my soul and her touch healed my wounds. She entered my life when I needed her the most, when my only support, seema had also left me, though I wouldn't blame seema for anything coz everyone is entitled to lead a happy normal life, moreover, love is not that blind!

Till date what nakku had done for me I could never repay back not at least in this life time, however I tried to do some small things for her against the big things which she'd done for me, for instance one evening with the assistance of seth ji I made tea for her when she come back from hospital. She was so surprised and elated that she had that strong and sugarless tea without any complaints and when I pointed out by saying," yeh chai toh itni kharab hai ..kadvee hai ..cheeni bhi nahin ..tu kaise pee sakti hai?" that time naughty sethji defended and said," accha hai chai mein cheeni nahin hai ..tayi moti nahin hogi." I smiled and replied," moti ya patli ..teri taayi humesha sabse sundar rahegi." Hearing me sethji said something like," taayi sundar toh hai ..par uske.." she didn't let him finish and interrupted by saying," accha ab tum log bahar jao..mujhe khana banana hai." A shy and humble girl, I'd thought and wondered how couldn't someone with such a beautiful heart not be pretty? For me she'd always be the most good looking person on this planet and I wasn't wrong when I'd felt her that diwali night. She was pained to see me hurt. She'd always been my strength but that night she was going weak after witnessing my true yet bitter reality. Even though I tried to be strong in front of her, hiding the pain within me and not letting it reflect in my eyes which she always managed to read perfectly, still her eyes turned moist and tears which were not less than dew drops for me fell on my hand with which I was holding hers. With the passage of time she'd not only succeeded in making a place in my heart but also conquering it and I just couldn't control the strong urge to see/feel my guiding light. She was soft and pure, my fingers felt that they were touching someone really innocent and angelic, just what I'd imagined.

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" tu aa gayi?"

" apko kaise pata?" She asked in surprise, being on duty she wasn't wearing those anklets still I knew she'd come. I smiled, I didn't need anybody or sound to tell me that she was there or not. I could feel her presence even in her silence and I'd bought those pair of anklets coz their simplicity reminded me of her, a thin chain with small five bells hanging from it and they tinkled just like her sweet voice, breaking the long and deep silence in my life. When she would not be near me, the faint sound of those anklets ensured that I could reach out to her anytime and that she was still close to me if not around me.

She handed me water along with a tablet, I had it and after returning the glass I held her hand. Ever since I'd been operated she had started spending less time with me.

" kya baat hai ..aaj kal tere pass mere liye time hi nahin hai."I complained pressing her hand lightly.

" haan..woh patients kuch zyada hi hain hospital mein ..toh in dino waqt nahin nikal pa rahi." There was some stiffness in her hand and a sense of tension in her voice.

" nakku..tu kuch pareshan hai kya?"

" nahin ..ab pareshani kaisi? ..sab theekh hai..kal aapki patti khul jayegi..phir ..aap dekh sakoge." No doubt she was happy still there was something disturbing her, I couldn't exactly pin point what but there was definitely something which she was trying to hide from me.

" accha raat bahut ho gayi hai ..aap so jayiye ..mujhe rounds pe jaana hai." She said taking her hand from me and I just felt that it was not her hand but my life which was slipping out of my hands. I tried to hold her again and asked with some desperation in my voice," tu kal mere saamne hogi nah?" she didn't reply, may be she'd left unheard or … may be not.

In the morning with bated breath I waited to see her face as the doctor slowly began removing the bandage from my eyes, finally I would see her, my heart was beating rapidly as I thought, what her reaction will be on seeing me getting my visibility back? That smile on her lips, that glitter in her eyes, I wanted to see all that and more than that I wanted to know how my savior, my life looked like.

" ab aap dheere dheere apni aankhein kholiye." The doctor said. Initially everything seemed blurred and the light pricked my eyes, I shut them tightly then slowly opened them again. This time the images were a lot clearer, I could see..yes I could see again my mind said but my eyes moved frantically here and there in search of her, I'd told her that I wanted her to be before my eyes then where was she? My heart beat anxiously fearing something bad.

" nakku..doctor nakusha kahan hai?" I asked desperately.

" sister nakusha..woh toh chali gayi."

" chal gayi ..matlab ..kahan chali gayi?" I asked through gritted teeth as all this wasn't making sense to me.

" unka kal aakhri din tha yahan par ..unhone humari nasik wali branch mein transfer le liya hai..abhi tak toh woh jaa bhi chuki hongi…par aap pareshan mat hoiye ..apka operation toh gaya."

I sprang out of the bed, how was it possible? How could she have left when just minutes back I'd felt her presence? now when I'd finally got my eye sight back, when everything was fine and I was dying to see her meet her then where had she disappeared?

If all this was really true then I'd to find her, stop her at any cost. I rushed out of the room turning a deaf ear to what the doctor was shouting behind me, the only thing in my mind was to find and stop her but I didn't know where to go and search for her and on top of that how would I recognize her? I ran out of the hospital, unaware where my legs were taking me then stopped in the middle, closing my eyes, I called her out silently,' nakku ..kahan hai tu?' I had no idea where we had been living these months and what if she had left for nasik already ? NO , my heart and mind screamed loudly, I shouldn't give up. After pausing for a minute I thought calmly, she was definitely around when my bandage was getting removed, I'd sensed her so there was a chance that she might have gone now to the bus station to catch the bus.

I hurried and reached the bus station where there was a huge crowd. My eyes didn't know how they would distinguish her but my heart knew that I would find her. Approaching the bus which was leaving for nasik my feet suddenly stopped and I turned around bumping into some girl. Her small bag dropped from her hand and all her belongings came out, she bent down quickly to pick her things, I too bent down when my eyes gazed up at her face. I was stunned to see the same girl who had jumped in front of my car that fateful day. She looked nervous as I stared at her blankly, her hands were trembling while collecting her things, may be even she had recognized me. My eyes fell on a deep scar on the right side of her face, as far as I could recall that scar wasn't there before the accident, her gaze followed mine and she brought her strand down covering that scar. I was thinking why was she appearing so familiar? As if I'd known her for a long time and the most surprising thing, the feeling of hatred or anger on seeing her didn't arise in me. Suddenly she stood up and quickly began walking into the crowd. I too got to my feet to find nakku when my foot hit something.

I tapped the shoulder of the same girl with whom I'd collided minutes back and who was now standing in the queue. She looked over her shoulder as I showed her something which she had dropped by mistake.

" yeh neeche gir gaya tha….nakku" I said handing her, the same thin anklet with five small bells which I'd bought for her. Pursing my lips I just asked," kyun?" why was she doing all this? If she had to leave then why did she illuminate my life? If she had to leave me deserted then why did she pull me out of my loneliness? If she had to bring tears in my eyes then why did she teach me to smile? What was my fault? where had I gone wrong? Why was she punishing me by going away?

Her eyes were brimming with tears and I took a step forward

" tu thi na abhi thodi der pehle ..mere saath ..hospital mein?" she lifted her astounded eyes then dropped them the next moment and nodded her head slowly. Cupping her face with one hand I asked," tujhe ..kya laga tha ..ki tera chehra dekh kar ..main tujhse..nafrat karunga?" she closed her eyes as silent tears trickled down her cheeks. Shaking my head in dismay I said," jis insaan ne mujhe nayi zindagi di ..mujhe jeena sikhaya ..aur jis se mein behadd ..pyar karto hoon..us se nafrat kaise kar sakta hoon." Her eyes opened slowly and she pressed her lips hard to control her sobs. I raised my other hand and pushed back her tendril, tucking it behind her ear, once again my eyes fell on that deep scar, something that I'd felt that diwali night while touching her.

" yeh kaise hua?" I asked while brushing my thumb over it. Her eyes scattered the ground to avoid answering my question.

" nakku ..main kuch pooch raha hoon." I said firmly this time. She gulped and lifted her eye lids before replying hesitantly," woh..us ..haadse mein.." sighing deeply I shut my eyes, in that accident even she'd got hurt but she overlooked her pain and preferred to suffer with me silently. When I lost everything I still had her to lean on but she didn't turn towards me to share her pain and sorrows, she shed silent tears in a corner far away from me. As per her there was every chance that I'd hate her once I'd get my eye sight back, still for my sake she spent all her savings on that operation and went ahead even if it meant that she would have to move back or move away from me later on. She risked all those emotions, feelings and moments that we shared in my darkness to bring light into my life.

Opening my eyes, I glanced at her, I was right, she was indeed a beautiful person with a golden heart.

" meri nazron mein tu humesha ..duniya ki ..sabse ..sundar insaan rahegi." I said wiping her tears with my thumbs. She crashed into my arms and I held her close to my chest.

Love is a small four letter word but she gave it a bigger, colorful and deeper meaning to it. Her love healed my wounds and comforted my soul, it made me realize that true love is difficult to find but I was fortunate to have her heart filled with it.

I loved her for the emotions she arose in me which I never knew I had. I loved her for finding a part of me which I thought never existed. I loved her for accepting me the way I was. I loved her for walking hand in hand with me quietly, caring for what I was going through.

Today I might not find the correct words to express how deeply I felt for her but I wanted her to know that with each passing moment I was falling more and more in love with her.

The end

Thanks for reading

Rose