~ Chapter Four ~
It was the day of her first pregnancy check-up and Nakusha was excessively nervous. Dutta had arranged to pick her up from her place and for them to then go to the clinic together. All their conversations ended up becoming awkward, with neither knowing what to say to each other. When he had called, she could tell how difficult it was for him to find the right words to say to her. She could already see her life beginning to take a drastic change now that Dutta was willing to take an active role in supporting her through her pregnancy. Fully conscious of her independent nature, Nakusha did not know whether she would be able to accommodate his overwhelming presence in her life. She did not want to be treated as if she had an illness and needed constant looking after, for she was capable enough of taking care of herself. She hoped Dutta would understand that although she was letting him be a part of his baby's life, it did not mean that he could knock on the doors of her life asking for entrance.
Just then a knock sounded on the door alerting her that Dutta had arrived. She glanced at the clock, wondering why he was so early and checked her appearance in the mirror, unsure of the reason why, before going to open the door.
Dutta stood outside on the doorstep, smiling slightly. 'I know I'm early...I thought we would beat the traffic,' he said.
Nakusha awkwardly smiled and wandered back into the apartment. Dutta, taking it as her invitation, stepped into her home and quietly closed the door behind him. He followed her into the kitchen, where she was boiling water in a saucepan, presumably for tea.
'I'll make it,' Dutta offered, extending his hand towards the saucepan.
Nakusha obliged, stepping away as he prepared the tea, watching him closely. She could not help but smile at the fact that this was the first time she was seeing a man making tea. She took out two cups from the cupboard and let him fill them. He passed a cup across the counter to her and she took it sinuously, somewhat aware of his gaze that rested upon her.
'It's good,' she smiled, sipping on the tea made by him.
'When you live alone you learn to fend for yourself,' he mused, a hint of pain coming across in his voice.
Nakusha felt as if someone had just pierced her heart. 'You live alone?' she asked.
Dutta laughed and then raised his eyebrows when he realized she was being serious.
Nakusha frowned, wondering what was so funny about what she had just said.
'I thought you would have figured that out when I brought you home to my empty apartment. It would have been awkward taking you up to my room with my family around, don't you think?' Dutta joked and Nakusha turned a bright shade of red.
'Well, I wasn't exactly thinking at all that night,' she answered back.
Dutta's smile faded and he sighed. 'Me neither,' he said so inaudibly that Nakusha could hardly hear it. They stood in silence for a moment before Dutta spoke again. 'Why did you leave?' he asked suddenly.
Nakusha looked up to see his eyes unwavering from hers. She already began shifting in the spot.
'I woke up and...you were gone,' he said.
Nakusha stayed quiet for a few minutes before speaking, looking down into her mug- anything to not look up at him. 'What did you expect me to do? I wake up in a strange house, in a strange bed, next to someone I hardly knew,' she took in a deep breath. 'I just panicked, so I just grabbed my things and ran. I wasn't running away from you honestly, I was trying to get away from the mistake we made. But now, this pregnancy has just brought it all back again,' said Nakusha, knowing how stupid she must look with tears spilling down her face.
Dutta made a slight jerking movement as if to reach out and comfort her, but suddenly pulled back and placed his fists on the kitchen counter instead. She probably would not welcome it, he thought to himself.
'Didn't you too want to run away from it all and just forget it as if nothing happened?' she asked through her tears.
His eyes darkened and he turned to face her. 'No,' he confessed shaking his head. 'When I met you, I didn't think things would end so soon...I thought it was just the beginning of something...special. I did genuinely feel attracted to you, and when you left...I was hurt,' Dutta admitted, his mouth firming into a grimace.
Nakusha looked at him taken aback.
'I'm sorry...I probably should have just kept quiet. Shall we leave for the appointment?' Dutta asked, gesturing to the door.
She silently nodded and followed him out her home to his car. Her head was spinning and she did not know what to think. Had Dutta just admitted his feelings for her? Or was it just her way of trying to cajole herself? Whatever it was, his impromptu admission had left her feeling oddly content. When she had left him after the night they had shared she assumed that he was like all other men, and that he would discard of her as if she was a used piece of tissue. But here he was, telling her that it could have been the beginning of something special.
~
The car journey was spent in an awkward silence. Nakusha did not know what to say to ease the tension. When they arrived at the clinic, Dutta parked his car and went round to open the door for her. They walked in to the clinic together and Nakusha gave her name to the receptionist before taking a seat and waiting to be called in.
Dutta looked at the table full of pregnancy magazines and reluctantly picked one up. He looked at Nakusha and thought that her face reflected exactly how he felt. He nudged her and pointed to the picture of a hugely pregnant woman on the front of the magazine he was holding.
'I cannot wait to see you when you're blown up like this,' he teased, cheekily puffing his cheeks, in a hope to lighten the situation. He earned himself a glare from her and laughed.
Nakusha shook her head, although she could not help but let a smile form across her face. There was so much about his character that she had yet to discover.
Soon her face fell again, and she played with the ends of her shirt, shuffling in her seat out of nervousness. The more time passed, the more her anxiety would rise. Dutta glanced at her from the corner of his eye and hesitantly let his fingers curl around her hand, squeezing it gently to make her aware that she was not in this alone. Nakusha looked up at him for a moment before looking down at their joined hands. For some strange reason, she did not pull away, letting her hand remain in the warm, comforting stole of his. What was happening to her?
A few minutes later a nurse came out and called her name. Nakusha got up and Dutta did the same, both following the nurse into the examination room. Dutta sat uncomfortably waiting whilst the nurse examined Nakusha behind a curtain, handing the reports to the doctor when he walked into the room. The doctor greeted Nakusha and then Dutta before settling down on the other side of the desk.
'How are you feeling today then Miss Mahale?' asked Doctor Khanna with a smile.
'I'm alright...although I would be much better if it wasn't for the morning sickness,' she said, inwardly groaning.
The doctor let out a small chuckle. 'Ah, I see. Don't worry, it shall hopefully be over by the second trimester, which I am assuming starts next month. Maybe if you're lucky it could clear up before then,' he said, 'There is nothing to be overly concerned about. Although it may seem like it, morning sickness causes no harm to the baby.'
Nakusha nodded, feeling slightly better than before. Dutta frowned as he looked at her, oddly wishing she would have told him about her morning sickness. What else was she going through that he had no idea about?
The doctor studied the notes on her file. 'You seem absolutely fine Miss Mahale...I have no issues with your weight at the moment, your blood pressure is also normal. Do contact me if you have any worries though,' said the doctor. 'I would like you to come back next week for a sonogram if that is okay with you. With that we can see if the baby is doing well and calculate an approximate due date.'
'Yes, that's fine,' said Nakusha, glancing over at Dutta and smiling when he also nodded in agreement.
The doctor turned to look at Dutta. 'And you can make sure that Mom here eats the right foods, gets enough rest and takes as much care of herself as she does the baby. It's an important time for the Dad just as it is for the Mom.'
Nakusha felt her cheeks flush and wished she could just get out of here as soon as possible. Dutta's face had taken a different expression altogether at the sound of the word 'Dad.' It was getting more awkward by the second.
'Of course,' Dutta answered with a small smile.
The doctor jotted some notes in his file before turning back to them. 'Are there any questions you want to ask me, or any concerns that you have?' asked the doctor and both Nakusha and Dutta shook their heads. The doctor handed them some nutrition guides before seeing them off. 'I shall see you next week then,' he said before closing the door after them.
Dutta booked Nakusha an appointment for her sonogram before they headed back to the car.
'That went well,' said Dutta as they sat in the car.
'Hmmm,' Nakusha mumbled in agreement, unable to believe that this was actually happening, they were actually having a baby.
'I was just thinking...it would be good if you moved in with me,' Dutta suddenly suggested, straight to the point.
Nakusha's head snapped up to look at him. 'What?' she frowned, 'No! I mean, I told you before I don't need support. I'm pregnant, not ill...and I can look after myself.'
Dutta shook his head. 'I didn't mean it like that. I know you're not ill, but there are going to be times when you might need something and you can't go get it yourself. I just don't like the idea of you living alone in this state, you need at least someone to be there for you,' he said.
'Please Dutta, I'm tired...just take me home,' she said, leaning her head back on the headrest and closing her eyes in annoyance. She was having a baby, she wasn't a baby herself. She had arms, she had legs- she did not need anyone's support when she knew she was fully capable of taking care of herself.
'At least tell me that you will think about it,' urged Dutta.
'Fine, I'll think about it,' Nakusha said, almost in a kind of defeat.
Love Zahra x
Edited by Pyari_Zahra - 14 years ago
