Was Babi wrong in what she did to and for Naku?

This is going to be a less than pleasant post. But I think it is totally fair, and I would love you think about it and post your thoughts, as always!

It is my opinion that Naku's pure heart comes from her mother Babi. Babi is loving, loving and loving to Naku. When Naku's heart breaks, so does Babi's...and it is sad to see Babi's feelings of guilt.

I am going to say one thing: The extent to which Babi went to protect her daughter, in my opinion, was WRONG. I understand the trauma Babi has had to endure with her elder daughter, and then with Naku and Morey, and the role of idiot husband Ganpat (hands down, he is generally a selfish, stupid man. While I am grateful for his help with saving Dutta, he did it to save Dutta, his meal ticket. There are no honorable motives in Ganpat's inner armoire).

Yes, Babi did what she could...to make her daughter look unattractive and thus, fend off men who would destroy Naku and Naku's future. The extent Babi took it to-- (I even hate typing this but I think it needs to be said)-- to make Naku so ugly that it would not only fend of interest but also invite ridicule WAS wrong. Babi was desperate, I totally understand her motives for it, and they are totally honorable. Some of you may also question my saying "so ugly", but yes, that was Babi's intention with the unibrow, black soot makeup, everything.)

But, I will state again, that I believe Babi was wrong in how she handled it. It's one thing to make Naku unattractive, it's another to invite loads of ridicule on her. Thank God Naku is a strong, principled, loving girl. What if she had not been so strong? What if all those words had wounded her or made her doubt men even if they did fall in love with her? These are not far-fetched thoughts. Most girls would be hurt, even if they could not express it.



So what I am saying in my convoluted way is that Babi could have found a medium ground. Not to push it so far to the left that the makeup became like a prison cell for her daughter. Move away, go elsewhere, make your daughter slightly unattractive....just don't go so far in doing so.

When Babi feels guilty, I think that is right...while Naku does not blame her, Babi knows that deep down she has changed Naku's life for not only the better (no horrible men exploiting her) but for the worse too. What if Dutta was not the type of guy who valued love so deeply? What if he was more like Baji and many men who look at the outside? So was Naku going to go on in her life, trying to find a man who will prize her most for her inner beauty only and ignore everything on the outside? What is the probability of that?

It was an awful choice Babi was forced into making, and I don't think it was wrong. I think how she went about it was wrong.

These are just my thoughts on this matter. Yes, looks are not as important as the inner person...there are enough beautiful looking people who are soot-covered on the inside...cold and mean-hearted. But looks do matter to some degree...it should not determine whether relationships happen or not, but as Mishal honestly said, looks do play one part, even if it be small.

i simply adore ur threads dear..love ur questions!!..
i think what babi did was ryt..yes it doe to take a lot of courages take such a step..but acc to my POV..what babi did was ryt..
poor ppl(girls) especially who live in slums are known to have bad fortunes..they go thru a lot during their lives..esp wen their fathers are drunkards...they get into prostitution,take up bar dancing ..dunno wat that is called,are molested and wat not!..and this is not the case of only fair girls living in the basti..even the wheatish coloured girls suffer this..keeping this in mind..i think babi did this so that no one even giver nakku a second look..i mean she could have made nakku look ordinary..but she made her look ugly so that nakku doesnt suffer...ab babi ko pata hota ki dutta nakku ki life mein ayega so maybe she wouldnt have done this...

i dunno if wat im saying is clear..i can keep on writing but i dont want to..it really hurts..

so i would say that wat babi did was for her protection..she was not wrong..

Well put up GP I wont be shocked if Babi feels guilty of- course she will no mother destroys her daughter's beauty like she did. But she has her own genuine reasons which I feel are correct.

But babi did offer to remove her make up at a point of time herself but nakku denied it, but given a chance I think dutta should know the complete truth about nakku (I mean her looks)

Nice post GP.

I always believed that whatever she did was totally Wrong!!!. She absolutely trashed her daughter's life with her own hands. Why did she do that? She thought her daughter will also turn out like the elder one isnt it?. But that does mean she doesnt trust her daughter. Now if she doesnt trust her daughter how did she think her same daughter will apply that black makeup day-in day-out, stay strong thruout her life, face ppl's ridicules and yet be bold faced?.

I have no idea how babi could contradict with her own opinion.


Now come think of it, if this is the only way to save kids from the bad world out there, what would happen to the world we live in?😲 . Will everyone start applying the black makeup , look horrible for the onlookers? 😕 . Iam sorry but that aint the solution for that problem. Instead Babi shouldve been more protective of Nakku and from time and again gave a pep-talk on what could go wrong if she looses her morals and all that. That would suffice.

Now with that one decision that she took .......... that she forced on Nakku..........her daughter's life has become a living hell. Its not days but years that Nakku had to hear ppl's taunts. In this world, looks do make an impression. No one looks at ppls hearts when they see them for the first time. Thats totally trash talk. Ppl see how good u look and only then will get to know more abt u. Thats how the world is, believe it or not. So what did Babi achieve by making her daughter look so ugly? 😕 . Did she ever think , what if her mother did the same to her?. Also come think of it , how come she looking normal survive the same slum ppl and evil world? If she could, cant she trust her daughter would too?.


She is a great mother who supports her duaghter like hell............but then its her fault . She has made Nakku's life a living hell, so now her whole life she is left supporting her daughter.......wonder what she got out of all this.


Anu

i understand ur povs.......but i dnt agree babi is wrong.........i think she's right in hiding naku's beauty.......she may be ridiculed by all......but this is very less than what she would hav suffer if she fall in the web of protitution.......i know her present life is no good........but then her life would be a living hell..........we r saying they r other ways to save from evil eyes......becoz we r from good family.......though we may not be very rich........but we r educated n know about our rights........n hav means to fight for it........but dnt forget naku is a slumdog.......she can't fight for her rights.........she is unable...........she neither hav money nor education...........so i think babi is somewhat right in her decision.........

Originally posted by: Anu-Reddy

Nice post GP.

I always believed that whatever she did was totally Wrong!!!. She absolutely trashed her daughter's life with her own hands. Why did she do that? She thought her daughter will also turn out like the elder one isnt it?. But that does mean she doesnt trust her daughter. Now if she doesnt trust her daughter how did she think her same daughter will apply that black makeup day-in day-out, stay strong thruout her life, face ppl's ridicules and yet be bold faced?.

I have no idea how babi could contradict with her own opinion.


Now come think of it, if this is the only way to save kids from the bad world out there, what would happen to the world we live in?😲 . Will everyone start applying the black makeup , look horrible for the onlookers? 😕 . Iam sorry but that aint the solution for that problem. Instead Babi shouldve been more protective of Nakku and from time and again gave a pep-talk on what could go wrong if she looses her morals and all that. That would suffice.

Now with that one decision that she took .......... that she forced on Nakku..........her daughter's life has become a living hell. Its not days but years that Nakku had to hear ppl's taunts. In this world, looks do make an impression. No one looks at ppls hearts when they see them for the first time. Thats totally trash talk. Ppl see how good u look and only then will get to know more abt u. Thats how the world is, believe it or not. So what did Babi achieve by making her daughter look so ugly? 😕 . Did she ever think , what if her mother did the same to her?. Also come think of it , how come she looking normal survive the same slum ppl and evil world? If she could, cant she trust her daughter would too?.


She is a great mother who supports her duaghter like hell............but then its her fault . She has made Nakku's life a living hell, so now her whole life she is left supporting her daughter.......wonder what she got out of all this.


Anu

Anu, it's a really hard thing to say about Babi as I did in my post...but I agree with you. She took it too far...Babi is WAYY lucky that Naku is built of the material she is--strong, grounded, ethical--because her conduct would have destroyed any other girl. Black face, unibrow...Babi wanted her to REPEL men, but unfortunately, repelled everyone...and earned disrespect and a loveless life for Naku. I understand her motives...but Babi was WRONG...and she proved in a way that she was just REACTING and not THINKING...when she forced Naku into the hideous get-up....sorry, it's really horrible to say, but it is what it is. I hope actually that Babi is acutely aware of the pain now....and how she had a hand in it. Hopefully, that will lead her to make some decisions, e.g. forcing Naku to take off her makeup, etc. You can't force this upon a girl in her life....

Amazing topic!

I can see everyone's POV. But I feel Babi needed a solution for "How to save my daughter from this evil-world" . But the solution she got out of it wasnt right. Her motives are good but what she got out of those motives was bad. Infact she has misused her motherly-status , if said right. Being a daughter and a mother myself, I can never agree with what she did.



See we live in a country where teenagers(in high schools) get addicted to drugs, smoking what not...........so what do I do then? Dont send my daughter to high school?. Or teach her the bad things that can happen if addicted? I will go for the later. Thats my POV.



Even Babi couldve done something like that. Why didnt she educate her girl? She shouldve suffered and educated her kids. Education does make ppl behave rationally. They can see good bad and decide whats good for them. Why didnt Babi do that instead of painting her daughter black?. What was Nakku's mistake? Being born in a poor family ? or having an elder sibling who got lost in glitz&glamor? I am sorry but I believe even though kids are born from the same womb , they end up having different characters. I am totally against what Babi did to Nakku. Its like Nakku bore the brunt of her sister's mistake. Poor soul😭 .


Its like she has written Nakku's fate. She had lots of options to go with , education, pep-talk ........what not......but she chose easy way out. Its easy way for her, but a tough one for that good-hearted-girl called Nakku.


I pity Nakku ..........I dont sympathise with Babi. She took a bad decision. It wasnt her life to take a decision. It was her daughter's life. As a mom its her duty to let Nakku know the good and bad and decide whatever she wants.




The more I think abt Babi, the more furious am getting 😆. Tell me who arent bought up with evil-surroundings? Arent we? Then did we turn bad? Didnt we end up being gems from bad surroundings? .How did that happen? My parents taught me whats good , whats bad.......and I have always heard what ppl had to say abt anything and then decide what I want. How come Babi deprieve Nakku of such a choice? Whats Nakku's fault?.




That was the biggets blunder Babi could ever make. She with her own hands strangled her daughter's life. I want her to set it right , its her mistake , so she will correct it.




Anu

Originally posted by: -Fivr-

Amazing topic!

*sigh* Unfortunately I can't go on as big a ranting spree as I'd like too - what with trying to keep my self in check before the MCATs and being "organized".. *shudders*

But I will say this - the one thing I really love about LTL is that EVERYONE has a flaw. Somewhere, along the line we've been introduced to everyone's good and the not-so-good side. And I believe this is Babi's flaw - she got so engrossed in her pain caused by the first daughter and how the prospect of her younger daughter doing the same would hurt that she dove head first into the first thing that came to her mind. She thought her daughter was "seduced" because of her beauty - never once thought to consider that maybe it wasn't this black and white and maybe it wasn't the "beauty" that did her daughter in but rather her weak character. No, Babi just picked the first cause that came to mind and worked with all her might to change that for Nakku.

She should have realized that Nakku is a stronger, more principled girl and that she would not follow in her sister's foot steps just because she's "pretty". But Babi was in her primal-mother-bear mode and I don't blame her for doing what she did - I see the logic and her thought process behind doing what she did. I just don't think that was the best possible option though.. 😆

*runs back to work*

I assure you I am not on a "one-woman-mission-to-want-Babi-dead" . But my gut feeling tells me she will try to give Naku a chance at life and will give up her life in doing so...I think it makes almost poetic sense...you know what I mean?