His Lokhandwala house has all the trappings of a bachelor's pad. Papers strewn on the dining table, photographs of Aman pinned on a billboard and male visitors lounging in the drawing room. "I would like to settle down," admits Aman.
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| Aman Verma |
Sunday Mid Day talks to Aman Verma, a small screen actor with a big vision for himself and his woman.
Your father was in the army and posted virtually all over the country. Did you notice a significant difference in the way men related to women from state to state?
Absolutely. In Siliguri, Guwahati and the eastern part of India, there is a lot of respect shown to women.
When we were posted in Mysore, I saw that women as in east India, spent a lot of time on artistic activities like dancing and singing. In the south too, men respect women, though in east India it was more pronounced.
But when I was in Delhi, Punjab and Patiala, I found that men were incredibly aggressive towards women. If a north Indian man sees a hot woman, his whole persona changes because he wants to impress her.
The north Indian man pushes his sister and mother when he is a little kid, his wife when he is married, and later his children too. It's crazy.
Why does this happen?
It's the mother who teaches the son that the woman who comes into your life will mould herself in whichever way you deem fit.
What kind of upbringing were you given by your parents, especially your mother?
My upbringing has been very different from what I just mentioned. In the army, we are taught to greet a lady, open the door for her and wait on her till she takes a seat. Your girlfriend or your wife is considered a rank higher than you. If you are a major, she is a colonel, if you are a colonel, she is a brigadier. You have to salute her.
But you must have slipped up at some time in your dealings with women.
I admit to having slipped up but I don't want to go into the (ugly) details.
I went totally berserk and behaved like a typical north Indian male who loses his cool and gets a bit physical. The incident occurred with one of the women I was seeing.
An hour down the line, I was contrite because I realised that for one moment I had become just like the men who I disapprove of.
I was very disturbed with my behaviour because I am convinced that if you physically hit a woman, you stop being a man.
What do you think about the way women are projected on television?
I can't watch television because its difficult to sit through an entire episode watching six women standing in a group biting each other's heads off while the husbands stand dumbly at the back. But I believe whatever we see on television is drawn from real life. I will give you an example.
I did a couple of corporate films for one of the biggest business houses in Delhi. The business house was run by a family of six brothers and their wives. The wives wanted to bite each other's heads off.
The brothers were very chilled out with each other but with women coming in with their suggestions, it was another story.
I don't agree that what is shown on TV holds true for the majority of women. Rather than concentrating on one aspect, can't we create a progressive woman?
Why do we presume that films and television are expected to set standards? I have heard people say they want a bahu like Tulsi. Besides, what is progressive depends from person to person.
What is your concept of a progressive woman?
I firmly believe that a woman should be given opportunities from an early age.
Can you deal with a career woman?
Yes, but I don't know how I would deal with an Abhimaan-like situation where the wife becomes more popular than the husband. A man is very happy if his woman works but the day her career supersedes his, he feels insecure.
Why hasn't Aman Verma married yet? Is it because he has a roving eye?
I have had my share of relationships, which haven't worked out. It's made me a little more wary about marriage. However, I want to settle down with one woman — I'd like my story to have a fairytale ending. But today all my energy is channelised towards my work.
A relationship needs to be nurtured. If I were to have a relationship with a woman today, she will, in all probability, leave me within a fortnight because I just don't have the time for her.
How often, and how many girls tell you that you resemble the young Dilip Kumar?
Loads of them. Both young and not-so-young girls because many of them have been Dilip saab's contemporaries.
When your heart goes aflutter for a woman, does your gaze give you away?
I may be panting for a woman but the feeling I communicate is one of disinterest. It's a ploy that works nine out of ten times.
Do you get your kicks from locker room conversation?
I don't have time to get into a locker room, leave aside hold a conversation in one. I feel those who carry a scorecard are less likely to have scored than those who are quiet.
Who are the women you've idolised over the years?
The first name that comes to mind is Mumtaz. She was full of vitality and rose from the ranks of a junior artiste to become a big star. Aruna Irani, because she supported her family from a young age.
Shilpa Shetty is definitely hot. I like Kajol and Katherine Hepburn as actresses. And in models, I like supermodel Naomi Campbell and Yasmine Ghouri.
Shah Rukh and Saif co-hosted an awards show with great elan. But what is it about the male-female chemistry that a cross-gender combination of comperes is generally preferred for shows? You compered Indian Idol along with Mini Mathur.
The Shah Rukh-Saif camaraderie was excellent but it was a one-off situation. Both were probably very confident. Otherwise, it can get very competitive and ugly when there are two men involved in hosting a show.
And with two women, it gets uglier. There is an undercurrent of one up(wo)manship.
Since TV is supposed to be a medium more popular with women, do you think that made it difficult for Indian Idol's women contestants to make it to the top three? After all Prajakta Shukre and Aditi Paul were hugely talented. Or is it that the populace prefers a male idol?
No, I don't think it was a gender-sensitive issue. It was just about talent — it was, as Kajol wisely pointed out, about being consistently good. And about projecting humility, despite success. For all you know, next year we may have a female singing idol.
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